Cecelia_9 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

Not Specified
from Colorado

  • Activity

    • Yay!!

      2 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      Well I just have to make it through the week and then it is vacation time.  I have not taken any time off in years, but I will next week.  Although it will hit my paycheck hard, but thats ok.  We will be going on a family vacation.  That will include Ryan and I, his parents, sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles and their kids.  It will be quite a crew however I think it will be fun as they are a fun bunch.  We will be going to Branson, MO.  I've never been there.  Then Ryan and I will be visiting friends in Nashville!  It will be a lot of driving but I do enjoy my roadtrips.  

      I really need this break.  I had a bad breakdown over the weekend, and therapy is going ok.  Just starting out with establishing background and everything.  I was able to make it ok.  I really am trying to stay positive but it is so hard sometimes.  

    • That feeling

      2 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      What is life about?  I'm not sure anyone know the answer.  I'm trying to figure out what it means to me.  When am I at my happiest?  When am I at my saddest?  Tonight was a good night.  I had planned to make dinner at home, but Ryan has been feeling restless.  I can tell something is on his mind, but he is not quite up to talking about it.  I told him that the decision for dinner would be up to him. He chose to go out and dinner went very well.  After that we went to a craft store in order for me to sew some more fabric into my swimsuit.  We will be going on a family vacation at the end of the month, and I know the grandparents will not be too enthused to see any cleavage, but I don't think Ryan minds.  

      Not quite sure why I shared all that, but while running around, I had that feeling of calmness come over me.  I had missed having warm weather, the windows down, listening to the radio, and having my man by my side.  It has been awhile since I felt that.  Stress has seemed like a hanging fog in our household lately, but I know we will get through it.  This weekend is mother's day, and we will be visiting Ryan's parents this weekend.  I hope it goes well.  I don't travel very well.  Anywho.  See ya around next time.  

    • Now What?

      2 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      So the 15th of this month will mark 7 months that Ryan and I have been married.  A lot has happened in that time, but one of the biggest things is starting my journey to deal with my past.  It has caused me to have depression and anxiety.  I grew up in a high control group, or more commonly called a cult.  Actually joining Roosterteeth, meeting wonderful people here, and starting to date Ryan were my stepping stones to leaving.  I'm going to be seeing a therapist soon to deal with my issues.  I'm optimistic that the future will hold good things for me, but who knows.  

      So leaving the group. What has that meant for me?  Well due to my relationship with Ryan, an outsider, not being of the group, I was forced to make a decision once I became clean about it.  I sat in a room with three older men as they asked me personal questions about my relationship with Ryan.  'Did you have sex?  Did you kiss? Did you touch genitals? How many times?  How did you feel?'  Those and many more were the questions I was asked. They recorded my answers and all I did was cry the whole time.  They eventually gave me an ultimatum.  Either leave Ryan and repent, or get removed from the group and be forced to cut contact with everyone inside including my family and friends.  My parents were forced to kick me from their home.  I moved in with Ryan and his roommate and let me tell you it was quite interesting.   To this day I still have not talked to or seen my family or any of my friends.  It has been at least 2 years.  

      This has put me under great stress, hopelessness, depression, and loneliness.  I've attempted suicide at least 2 times.  However I'm here and I hope to at least get better.  My health has declined due to everything, and I'm working on getting better physically.  So why am I writing this after not being active in the community?  Well let me say I honestly don't know, but this is where it began for me.  To wake up.  I need to write it somewhere, might as well write it here.  I have committed great sins against people, and if you are one of them I am truly sorry.  Be safe out there.

      Love,
      Cece

    • So..yeah

      2 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      I just want to say, I know I haven't been around. I'm sorry.  I've been really busy.  In fact, I'm getting married this weekend. I would love to get back in touch with people I used to be close with.  If anyone is interested let me know!  I also help run a minecraft server if anyone wants to join, PM me.  Seriously I need to get active again.  Anyway, I still love all of you dearly.  I hope you are all doing well.

    • darthblade2 asked Cecelia_9 a question

      Why are you so pretty?

      Answered: Feb 10, 2016

      HAHA very funny. Love you too sweetie.

    • Engaged!

      3 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      As you many of you know, I met my current best friend, and boyfriend on the Roosterteeth site. We've been dating for almost three years. Over the weekend, we got engaged! I'm so excited!. I know its been awhile since I've talked to some of you, but hopefully we can get in touch!


      <3 you all!

    • Hey!

      4 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      So it has been awhile. I don't even know if some of my friends are even here still, but if you are Hi!. I would love to hear from you soon! A lot has happened in the last few months. I've been working like crazy, I did a little traveling. Ryan and I are still dating. He is @darthblade2 on the site. If you didn't know we met on the website. Our relationship, although being long distance, was going on 2 years. Something happened and now we are living together. Our relationship is not long distance anymore, and we couldn't be happier. We've been living together for about two months now. Currently waiting for Ryan to finish up his last semester of school in the fall until we take our next step in the relationship. Still we are working on some projects right now! Hopefully you guys will see them at some point. Anyway. I will talk to you guys later. Don't hesitate to drop me a message.

      Lots of love,
      Cece

    • Video games?

      4 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      What is your definition of a video game? Also, at what point does a video game not become a game? I'm trying to work this out in mind, and would appreciate your thought and input.

    • Others

      5 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      So I've been thinking about this subject a lot. Other people. I've realized that most people have things going on in their lives, and most of it is not fun. People these days are under stress. So much stress, its to the point where they can't handle it anymore. I know some people may look at this, some people may not, but honestly I think I need to start giving more attention to people I've been neglecting. I'm sorry if you feel I have done this. I honestly can say that none of it was personal, I just let other things get in the way.

      Besides this though, I think that we should all start to think of other people more. I guess be more courteous is what I'm trying to say. I am so sick and tired of people being so selfish and self absorbed that they don't actually see what is going on. So if everyone did just a little something to help someone out each day it would be great. At stores, in traffic, on the sidewalks, at restaurants, at work, at parties, in your neighborhood, anywhere in public, and also at home with your family. Stop feeling like a victim, rather focus on doing good for someone else. Just because someone didn't hold the door open for you, doesn't mean you should punish the person behind you who was no involved at all. Do you know that doing one act of kindness for someone else makes not only the person you help feel good, but will also make you feel better.

      I know RoosterTeeth has an awesome community that try to do this each and every day, but simple reminders are helpful too. I'm glad someone reminded me, and I just wanted to pass it on. Especially with RTX coming up, wouldn't it be awesome if everyone could see what sort of community this company has behind it? Thanks for taking a moment to read this.

      Love you all! smiley12.gifsmiley12.gif
      I hope you have a great weekend!

    • What to do?

      6 years ago

      Cecelia_9

      I don’t normally write about this, but as of right now I’m feeling kind of down. Honestly I was at a party tonight, graduation party, but nonetheless a gathering of people. It is hard for me socially. I am the quiet type normally, and honestly don’t do much to gather attention to myself. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Tonight I thought it would be better, I would have a bit more confidence, but that didn’t happen at all. I feel as if I am just here, but nothing more than just there. No one really talked to me. I tried to start conversations, but they would fizzle out and I could tell they didn’t really want to talk to me. It hurts knowing that people are trying to get away from me, and I don’t know why. That’s why I am coming to you. Is there something about me that I need to change or work on? I don’t know what it is, but I just feel terrible, as if I failed. At one point I was holding this puppy because it had gotten loose and I was holding it from getting trampled on by all the people. As I was holding the puppy, people would stop and pet the puppy. I swear more people talked to the dog, than they did to me! I’m sorry about this, but I just don’t know what else to do. If I am that unappealing, just let me know. I would rather know, than not know. Or if you have any suggestions, please let me know. I’m sorry about this, but I needed to vent about it somewhere.

  • Comments (42)

    • Toptoast FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Keeper of the Breakfast

      4 years ago

      Hey, you're awesome!

    • Lukey

      5 years ago

      happy birthday!

    • Benchmark Be Happy

      5 years ago

      conservatory_of_flowers3.jpg
      2020543114_1372943299.jpg
      field-of-flowers-02.jpg

      HAPPY BURFDAY!
      Have a good one. :D

    • McSpanky1 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      5 years ago

      Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good day.

    • Krispy Photographer

      6 years ago

      Long time, no speak. Hope your doing ok.

    • thecia DOMINATOR

      6 years ago

      hi

    • caleb FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Frisbee

      6 years ago

      GO TO RTCO, or else...

    • Krispy Photographer

      6 years ago

      HOLY KITTEN COMMENTS! Wasnt expecting that.

      Anyway, whats up,long time no speak/see.
      Needs to play xbox or something eventually

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      tumblr_mboalyyvtn1r1mtsdo1_500.gif

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      cute-cat.gif

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      tumblr_lq4vycAaA71r1k19po1_400.gif

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      And I heard you liked black guys tumblr_mfb8yn2ORm1r5wct6o1_500.jpg

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      [img]http://25.media.tumblr.com/d2616791f19fd42de700c7874b08011d/tumblr_mh79nmGQkz1rbv8zzo2_500.gif

      • darthblade2 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        6 years ago

        -1 noob

      • Ezangoose

        6 years ago

        FUUUUUCK

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      tumblr_mhb2zzhqIg1rkzt5wo1_500.jpg

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      I heard you like to get pictures of cats....
      tumblr_mj7dnfaOUl1s1l51no1_500.jpg

    • Krispy Photographer

      6 years ago

      You win this round
      T56Dhek.jpg

    • Krispy Photographer

      6 years ago

      imgur.com/a/4ufRl

    • Marathoninja

      6 years ago

      getty_rm_photo_of_kitten_sniffing_potted

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      HAPPY VEGINAS DAY!!!
      tumblr_m97k6uhn4Q1qbph4ho1_500.gif

    • Krispy Photographer

      6 years ago

      Happy Almost Valentines Day!
      youtu.be/hrzIykdka4s?t=1m13s

      • Krispy Photographer

        6 years ago

        H8vJjRK.gif
        smiley0.gif

    • darthblade2 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Nice sponsor tag smiley8.gif

    • Benchmark Be Happy

      6 years ago

      "Tell me have you seen the marvelous BREAD FISH!"

    • Ezangoose

      6 years ago

      "ARE FLOWERS PORNOGRAPHIC" - Cecelia Innej

    • Kythrae FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Creator

      6 years ago

      Blargh smiley0.gif

    • mckev7

      6 years ago

      Where in Colorado are you from?

    • Krispy Photographer

      6 years ago

      DCWHf.jpg

    • Nevada

      6 years ago

      I envy you your living place. I want to move here, near the Rockies. CO, UT, MO, ID, AK, doesn't matter. Just give me mountains! And it's a shame we're so close but can't see each other. I really like Ft. Collins! It seems like a really cool place. (And everyone's my age...which is weird...)

    • Kythrae FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Creator

      7 years ago

      So you have joined the Council of 4 eh? I shall have to make a rival power to thwart your evil machinations at world domination and destruction.....or become the puppet master behind it all...whichever is more fun. smiley8.gif

      • Andria_G FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        We should be the Warsaw pact to their NATO

    • mistageko FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Boop!

      7 years ago

      Heya! Grats on the shizno contest!

    • DaftProdigy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Tinfoil Hatter

      7 years ago

      Congrats on your new star! ^__^

    • kriss FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Community Manager

      7 years ago

      Gratz on winning the shizno contest! smiley13.gif

    • OroborosNZ Projector

      7 years ago

      Congratulations!

    • HaloFan0011

      7 years ago

      hey i saw your comment on my profile thanks for it nice to meet you

      • Cecelia_9 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        Nice to meet you to.

  • Questions answered by Cecelia_9

    Why are you so pretty?

    | Asked by: darthblade2 3 years ago

    HAHA very funny. Love you too sweetie.