Cerberus_

Male
from 'Sconnie

  • Activity

    • FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      Forget those "screamer" things or jack-in-the-box .gifs... This genuinely freaked the shit out of me.

      No sound, no cheap scare tactics... but still. You've been warned.

    • Dreeeeeam

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      I just had a dream last night that I can only describe as Scooby-Doo meets Dexter. Only I wasn't after a serial killer, but someone who had stolen my dog. It's actually my coworker's puppy, but for some reason she was mine in the dream... adorable husky mix, but I digress. The puppy had separation anxiety and was apparently on steroids, because instead of just chewing a couch up or something, it broke out of my place and laid waste to an entire office building. That's just impressive, I don't care what anyone says.

      So anyway, I knew someone in the building had taken the pup, and was obviously upset with her and was planning to kill her (you know, dream logic). I started doing detective work the next day, scoping out all the cars in the parking lot until I found a van that had a pet carrier and fur in it, but it had no license plates so I couldn't look up the owner. I went into the building and told the receptionist that I really loved that van outside, and I've been looking to buy one like that for years. She said something like "Oh Cheryl will be so glad to hear that, she's been trying to sell it for a while."

      Then I inject what I can only assume was etorphine hydrochloride (M99, what Dexter uses in the show) into her neck so she couldn't call security. I used her computer to look up the employee database and found three Cheryls. I ninja'd my way through the office and wreckage to find them. The first one checked out; ASPCA chapter president. The second one had a caged up Great Dane in her office, and when I distracted her to get her to leave, I went to free it, but it stopped me, saying he was actually her pet, and the Cheryl I wanted was on the top floor. Yes, a Great Dane talked to me. Scooby-Snacks anyone?

      So I get to the last Cheryl and her whole office is wired to blow. Pressure plates and laser trips, the whole nine. But I still wasn't entirely convinced for some reason, so after M99'ing her, I checked her computer (nevermind the traps, I guess my subconscious couldn't McClain its way through that) and found pictures of my puppy in a cage at her home.

      Back at her house, I'd plastic-wrapped the room and tied her to the table with plastic rolls, a'la Dexter, with the pup at my side. As soon as I unrolled my bag of tools--knives, drills, etc--I woke up.

      tl;dr - don't fuck with my dogs.

    • Awesome

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      Roommate 1 is flying back into Phoenix tonight. Roommate 2 asks if I can pick her up. Okay, sure. Yesterday I realize, I work the morning shift tomorrow, meaning a 5AM wakeup call. I ask Roommate 2 if she can do the airport run instead, as the flight gets in at 11:30PM. She says she'd rather not. I ask why; because she's staying at the bkyfriend's place tonight, and doesn't want to drive "all the way from there."

      "There" is a whole five extra minutes away. I explain my situation, to no avail. Am I justified in being pissed off? I'm happy to do favors, but fucking come on. Oh, and it's now 12:06AM, as I sit at the airport, plotting murder if Roommate 1's flight got delayed again without her telling me.

      Fuck this day.

    • Why can't I stop watching this?

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      They're Japanese-made androids. They have to be.

    • Come in, Dogfort...

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      I think I've found my new favorite thing on the internet.


      bomb.jpg


      snowFight.jpg

    • Well?

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_
      Any new idea, Mahound, is asked two questions. The first is asked when it's weak: WHAT KIND OF AN IDEA ARE YOU?
      Are you the kind that compromises, does deals, accommodates itself to society, aims to find a niche, to survive; or are you the cussed, bloody-minded, ramrod-backed type of damnfool notion that would rather break than sway with the breeze? -- The kind that will almost certainly, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, be smashed to bits; but, the hundredth time, will change the world.


      "What's the second question?" Gibreel asked.

      Answer the first one first.
    • Yesterday...

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      ...as I was closing up shop, one of my last duties was to take out/replace the garbage bags throughout the building. To save time, I threw a handful of replacement bags in each bin earlier in the week. As I grabbed a bag for the last one, I get distracted by a dog barking up a storm. Wondering why the owner didn't supply us with tranquilizers for it, I glance back to the bin and see a flash of black--a rather sizable flash of black--run across the bag and up my arm.

      This was how I discovered that Black Widow spiders, or more accurately the females of the species (after Wiki'ing it) are not akin to a nickel in size, as I had previously thought, but rather can be goddamn HUGE, more like a 50-cent piece.

      Yes, I screamed like a bitch as I flung it off my arm, and if I had a lighter, I would have doused the remains in rubbing alcohol and burned the corpse. This, days after finding a pair of scorpions running around, which happen to blend in perfectly with the floor.

      My work is a fucking deathtrap.

    • Sushi...

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      ...is actually pretty good; this coming from a pretty picky eater. This is just one of many things I've learned since arriving in Arizona fifteen days ago.

      I could go into a great depth of my adventures, but I'm too lazy. The short version is: I-80 is ungodly boring, the Rockies are gorgeous, and driving in AZ while having a busted AC sucks balls. Seriously, screw I-80. No road should drive me to consider hopping the median just to mix it up a little. I-80, we're no longer Facebook friends.

      Also, not trying to brag since it was very much a right-place-at-the-right-time scenario, but I only had to spend two days job hunting before landing a good one. I was all prepared to settle in for a few months of that unpleasantness, but hey, I'll take it. Commence hating.

      PS: why is it that almost every pre-move conversation I had about this place involve a "Phoenix? Isn't it like really hot down there?" like it's some new development? Thanks for the tip though, I would've felt awfully silly showing up in a parka and snow boots.

    • Kindle/Nook?

      8 years ago

      Cerberus_

      Does anyone have a Kindle or Nook or some sort of e-reader? I've sworn them off up until this point since books are the main media I insist on having the physical copy of rather than digital, but I've been curious lately since I may be getting one for a friend's birthday.

      But here's the thing... she's really gotten into Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves, and though she already has the actual book, I know she'll want to have it on the e-reader as well. So my question is, are the "pages" of the books basically just a text file? The format of the book is a huge part of its personality, if you want to call it that, and it would lose a lot of its impact if it were watered down.

      2e68nbp.gif

      This also made me realize I didn't get that book back from another friend I loaned it to before I moved 2,000 miles... eff em el.

    • 8 years ago

      Cerberus_
  • About Me

  • Comments (3614)

    • Suto_Griff

      8 years ago

      Sup slick, how goes life out there? If you feel like takin' on a project that's pretty easy and hopefully a lot of fun come join this group I made amigo!

      Also, you still diggin' the move after all this time?

    • Preezerk

      8 years ago

      FUCK YOU ALL

    • Preezerk

      8 years ago

      HEY

      I came here to comment for real but all these fucking spiders made me HAVE to say something.


      ..plus I've thought of that toilet thing a lot all my life. My house had a brown recluse infestation. BAD. In bed...yeah. Shoes....

      FUCKING OVEN MITS!!! They are like a fucking spider cave man!!!

      Gloves...anything. I will NOT put on a pair of oven mits or gloves until I flaten the SHIT out of them to make sure no spiders are inside.

      I still shake my pants when I put them on. Cousin had a black widow in his pants, just stuck his legs in, BAMM.....Emergency room visit.

      fuck that.

      If I see a spider in the room when I'm cleaning I will kill it no matter what. I have tossed boxes full of stuff out of the way to get the spider.

      dryer sheets....I heard once that spiders don't like them. I put them ALL over my place. In every box I pack up, in my couch cushions. I figure...1) Supposed to keep spider away. 2) my place smells good. Win win

    • Preezerk

      8 years ago

      You know how when you sit down on the toilet how you get this fear that .....spiders like moist places....and you feel like..what if one is juuuuuuuuust under the seat and gets scared and crawls over with it's hairy little legs and bites the first warm thing it sees.


      UGH smiley4.gif


      creepy to think about huh?

      *shudder* smiley3.gif

    • ringo6483

      8 years ago

      Belt. :)

    • lefty

      8 years ago

      That's only if you want to put it online using the uploader thing. The fileshare files can be as long as you'd like.

    • Suto_Griff

      8 years ago

      Well... They can't all be winners, can they?

    • Suto_Griff

      8 years ago

      Good luck brotha, hope it works out for ya!

    • Suto_Griff

      9 years ago

      Deal.

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      "retweeted by nathon fillion"
      Apparently he does.

    • mofiaweare

      9 years ago

      Ha ha ha...oh hahahaha.

      Libary....like the sound from libel and then airy. :P

    • mofiaweare

      9 years ago

      I've heard "probly" before, but it's usually laziness.

      Let's see..what else do I say...library...I tend to drop the first "r"...I'm weird.

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      Start making an eyepatch and a paper pirate hat now. You will need it.

      COAT HANGER HOOK!!!

    • ringo6483

      9 years ago

      I think I do... does it end it 589?

    • ringo6483

      9 years ago

      Cully... I'll be in Oshkosh this Friday night. My old roomies and I got a hotel room and are planning on going out. If you're going to be around, let me know! I'd love to see you. <3

    • spartfartmen

      9 years ago

      Hello, Interesting Profile.

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      yeeeeeeeeeeeeeep


      it sucks

      I was hopeful.

      You will probably like a few parts. And they mention stuff that you wouldn't know unless you are epic fan (shout out to Hanna in the first 10 minutes)

      it was just...painful to watch at times.

      It needs to be 9 hours long to do it justice.

    • mofiaweare

      9 years ago

      I know! The closest one to my real home is Atlantic City, and from school would probably be Kevin's new home's.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      Oh you totally clear those rocks. It's a little sketchy the first time you do it, but just by stepping off the edge you pretty much get past them already... so add a bit of a jump in there and you're in the icy depths of Lake Superior no problem.

      36906_1349722580066_1141380250_30920767_

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      Best Buy and Kmart have Blur marked down to $39.99 from June 20 to June 26.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      Fine. But hug something else.

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      That dude's not cooler than anything.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      Between that and the trailer for The Old Republic, I'm willing to forget the prequel trilogy altogether and be a full-blown star wars enthusiast.

    • ringo6483

      9 years ago

      No flash... just a basic web browser.

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      I liked the Dreamcast and the Saturn as well as the SNES.
      The SNES was pure, top-loading awesome.

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      ...while watching that video, my sis and I were just. "....goddamnit......i want the force"

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      The people I follow in addition to a handful of friends are either comedians (plus the onion) or video game industry people that give away codes for free downloads. There's a guy from Epic games that has been giving away Gears 2 DLC for the last several weeks, for example.

    • Zack FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Zatch

      9 years ago

      i thought long and hard (pun intended...maybe) about if i would add de ravin. but I still can't remember her name (I just spelled it de Raven and I wasn't even gonna try the first name!)

      :D

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      Yeah, I thought the same thing, which is why I had to look up how I didn't manage to get it on my first playthrough... then kicked myself for using a middle of the road horse for the entire game not realizing I wasn't going to get the achievement.

      It took roughly an hour or two to blaze through the first 20 missions and they're all quite easy to it wasn't a big deal.

      My favorite achievement was probably getting 500 turret/cannon kills playing in free roam. You become wanted in Mexico and travel up to El Presidio... there are cannons and machine guns galore at that fort.
      =--=
      I played tonight with these 6 other guys and we were having a great time, then one of them was "most wanted" (had above $1000 bounty) and I decided to kill him in order to get two challenges, which leveled me up... so it was worth it, also he was only like level 15 so him being above $1000 did him no good since there are no Most wanted challenges (I had asked before killing him).

      Anyway, the guy was the posse leader so he's like "you're gone" and boots me from the posse, then from the party, then tries to boot me from the free roam. They had enough people to boot me, except one of "their people" was one of my friends and he didn't vote to kick me. Also unfortunate for them was that there were another 6 guys trying to come into the fort and evict them from it. When they booted me, I could again hear the other posse and they were like "WTF, lefthandedjesus what's going on!?" and I explained that if they let me into their posse the fort would be theirs.

      It was awesome. With the help of the other posse, I managed to rack up 25 straight kills on the guys who were up until then fine with playing with me and the guys I was in a posse with were up until then very annoying and killing me for no good reason. We destroyed them, it was amazing. We pushed them out of the fort, and then just kept chasing and killing them until they retreated back across the river into America... where we followed and just kept killing them until I didn't feel like playing anymore.

      I'm not really one for griefing in games but when that dude booted me for a single team kill after defending the entire posse from the PKers for at least an hour, it was sweet justice to walk into the fort and kill them all, then repeatedly kill them until they literally had nowhere to go.

    • ringo6483

      9 years ago

      How awesome would that be?!?!

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      I just set it as my ringtone about an hour ago. Three friends and I made the BEST video ever for it... but I fucked up and accidentally deleted all the footage because I suck and they're going to kill me.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      FULL IMMERSION, CULLEN.

      But really.

    • ringo6483

      9 years ago

      I know your birthday is coming up, as it is one day after mine... Gooooooo Gemini power!! <3

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      A Sheriff Simms cowboy hat.

      I wore that today with the lab coat.


      I swear to god....I felt like the Lone Wanderer. I walked into Target like it was abandoned, checking for Raiders. The cart pusher gave me.......raider like eyes.....he was on the list.

      it's an odd combo to wear in public, but damn it feels like you are living FO3 IRL.

      I need some red biker goggles now, and Vault 101 Jumpsuit. Cant' do Power Armor, it would cover my lab coat!

    • Suto_Griff

      9 years ago

      They just suddenly remember that the speed limit is not 100 mph and they need to correct accordingly. Bunch of morons for sure, and they're gonna get somebody killed. I think those guys are worse than those who won't pass up cops cuz they're really gonna injure somebody when they're not careful.

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      Deal!!!


      I HOPE YOU EAT CORN!!! smiley0.gifsmiley0.gifsmiley0.gifsmiley0.gif

    • ringo6483

      9 years ago

      Yes, you must!!

    • Suto_Griff

      9 years ago

      I agree, it's mainly on the parents. But they can't always be on the watch out for their kids, can they? So I feel like it'd be a good thing to have some safety nets out there.

      But as a person who teaches summer school, I seriously feel like most parents out there aren't as involved in their kids lives as they should/need to be. And it kills me.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      Application shots. I like it.

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      my one hat is ...kinda close.

      Oh....that would be a fun cosplay. just...All the random crap you can wear in that game. Total fashion chaos.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      pft I don't need no stinkin' Freud. I already know what's wrong with me.

    • notelizerdbeth

      9 years ago

      Interestingly enough I had a dream a while ago that Predators had invaded earth and were kicking the shit out of man kind. We decided the only way to get rid of them was to use nukes on their mother ship, even though doing so would cause nuclear fallout, but we thought it was a better alternative to being skinned alive and murdered by Predators. So we nuked the ship and they left, but before they were completely gone they released something into the air that made EVERY female in the US (or... you know... in a huge radius like that) pregnant. Myself included.

      Aliens and pregnancy in the same dream. fml.

    • lefty

      9 years ago

      There will be a new Carmine, and it'll be C. Carmine, but they always have a helmet on so... whatever.
      She'll most likely be one of the playable characters because I'm pretty sure they're going to have Cole & Baird as aux NPCs so they can kill Baird (fingers crossed).

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      Try to imagine yourself in Disney Land. You get your first look at this "demonic dog" as you enter the park. He moves like a dog, lightly, wagging his tail. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like Goofy - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Pluto. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side,
      [makes 'whoshing' sound]
      from Micky and Minni that you didn't even know were there. Because Disney Characters are pack hunters, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and they are out in the park today.

    • spikep

      9 years ago

      that's I though from "Deviant art"

      Lol

      myself need a day of customizing fro the new year in all I'll let you know of the authors so you check out their work and even do little more.

    • spikep

      9 years ago

      with Avast if your license need to be renewed created an new email account and sing up again Ha

      were did you get your adds-on stylers from?

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      yeah......we should kidnap pluto.


      just cause. If he's not good enough to be planet, he does NOT deserve to be at the Happiest Place on Earth!

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      OH...yeah. You have some buds in AZ.

      coool.


      Closer to me. SEE YOU AT DISNEYLAND OMG!!!!

    • Preezerk

      9 years ago

      where ya going???

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