Chaya

Female
from Cohasset Beach, WA

  • Activity

    • *knock... knock...push... creeeak*

      6 years ago

      Chaya

      The title explains the sounds that one might hear when opening an old door to a seemingly haunted place. The next few steps would be coupled with trembling onset by doubt, and fear. however, they urge on to satisfy the desire brought on by curiosity. It makes little sense why people try to turn back to their past, and more so why other look back on strangers pasts. Though strange it is the beginning of ever horror movie, and every mild episode of depression. Ironically It is only followed by the quizzical "Hello?" No, we don't want a reply because it would confirm our need to actually tie the loose ends, answer to our faults, and be responsible for our actions. Well, luckily, there never is an answer. Just an echo confirming the empty room, and vibrations of the hollow building that the memories died in. Can you see that? Can you feel your self pulling the comb webs back as you explore the nearest room? This is what comes to mind when I logged on here this night, and felt the need to be obnoxiously artsy in portraying the melancholy feeling that overwhelmed me... that is... when the page finally loaded.

      I don't know how many people are still on here, but I feel the weird need to post an update. Life is going pretty well. I really can't complain. So, if you are curious. No, I am not dating, or married, or currently producing off spring. I must say though... that biological clock... it does exist. However, I am just living life for the now, and hoping that what ever happens happens. Lately been thinking about buying a sail boat, and living on it. I want to sail... I think around the world... I know people have this dream... pretty cliche... but c'mon! It would be so much fun! Still trying to find what I am called to do in this life... but again, returning to the primary statement. Life is still very much--- Good. :D

      I deleted face book because... I was tired of it, and it's been a nice break, but the entire world is on face book which keeps me out of the loop most of the time. It's getting bad because I don't want tv, and am hardly on the internet. By bad I mean- and by out of the loop I mean---... I have no idea about current events, cultural news... movies... anythings... I know nothing. I must say though... how freeing it is to be away from reality tv, and over connectivity... (as I write this on a social network) *slaps head*

      Anyways, as always here is a random note from yours truly... to whoever... still checks this. Also--- happy... 10 years being a member on this site... Yep, I am going to close the door again to this old haunted building. till next time! smiley12.gif

    • LIKE A PHEONIX...

      7 years ago

      Chaya

      Hello. Reporting back from the ashes... Guess what. Life is good...

      TOTALLY NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT....

      but life. is definitely GOOD!

      I miss the ol' RVB days... *snif*

    • tick tock

      8 years ago

      Chaya

      Sometimes you have to hit bottom but it is up to you to keep driving up on the rocks. I haven't written anything in a while because truthfully I have lost myself to the point of no return. I use to have passion now it's tainted by the overwhelming sleep debt I will not be able to repay. Something happened to me and it ended with a fiasco of a situation now I'm trying to pick myself up. Holy shit reading my past entries I haven't been well in a long time well now I'm hoping everything works out. Sometimes when the door slams shut... Trying to pry it open makes no sense especially when it has a dead lock on it. Well here's for another vague post... Don't join the military go to college and open a buisness then take the money and live like a king in a foreign country just... Don't drink the water... You know what I mean... OK bye.

    • starcraft update.

      8 years ago

      Chaya

      So, its like riding a bycicle ... hahaha. I love this game.

      It is just...

      Perfect...

      so in.


      LOVE.

      :D

    • Star craft II...

      8 years ago

      Chaya

      So... excited...

      waiting for instalation to finish...

      Holy crap.

      Rah!

    • Read this.

      8 years ago

      Chaya

      So, It has be an incredibly long time since I have written a journal of significance. Though I am not sure if anyone actually uses this site from the old days of rvb, but I have some things I really need to just get off of my chest. I really need to vent to someone who doesn't have the answer to my problems, and something that will let me just blast it up there.

      I am a petty officer in the coast guard, I am coming up on 4 years in the guard, and I am an amazingly loyal person to my organization. Granted the tough times, I have always been doing and done the right thing no matter what. I have stuck up for my people, and put myself in danger to save others. I still however don't understand how people think it is ok to walk over me?

      I do not understand where my line is of friend and foe. I do not understand how people can just take and take and take, but never ever return the favor. The selfishness of this world blows me away. I grew up only wanting to help, and sacrafice... maybe that makes me weak. Maybe I should break free and be selfish for me.

      I keep saying I will turn a leaf but I find my self drinking more than thinking, and smoking more than breathing. I am by far falling down a hole of depression knowing people dislike themselves... even after I built them up... finding people putting themself in harms way once again, after I burnt my hand saving them. I do not understand where I belong is this world of greed. I do not. I don't even know how to go about doing something for myself.

      I am a submissive... beat me, make me bleed, hurt me till I cry, and I will still be there begging for more ways I can help you... hoping to satisfy you, hoping you will be okay in the end. But in the end why? I just want to know. Why am I doing this to my fucking self?

    • sometimes I wish I had something more to

      9 years ago

      Chaya

      Live for.

      But yet again, I'm drunk before duty... lord when did I fall into this pattern.

    • I'm drunk

      9 years ago

      Chaya

      yOU Should be too!

    • To whom it may concern.

      9 years ago

      Chaya

      Dear Rooster Teeth,

      I would like to thank you for what you have done for me. I first came to this community at the bitter age of 15. I had no clue about life, no idea of who I was, and just like any 15 year old desperately needed a place to call my own, a click to fit in, and possibly just a little direction. However, I didn’t think of any of this at the time. At the time it was nothing everything was so new, the people, the website, the series, it was at first just watching rvb with my best friend Travis to becoming an obsession, an addiction.

      I remember how we use to have to pry ourselves away from the computer, and now I can barely find time to sign in, and even when I do I know it wont be for much except to catch up on my old e-friends. I remember now… another thing is thanks for all those silly times of e-drama, e-relationships, e-gossip, and even… e-fights. Honestly its got to be the pitty shit that makes us grow. Even being hard headed makes you realize how absolutely naïve everything is. Even this… This journal will seem so incredibly stupid in a couple months, and I can’t even imagine a couple years.

      Time has flown by. I have been living out of the house for a long time now and life seems to love catching up to me. Constantly trying to find an area to breath. In my life there is no balance of life and work, it is work first and life… when you retire. I just wanted to let you know you helped me grow as a person. You made me Smarter, and Stronger. Not Smarter in relation to academics but damn could I play some HALO1, not Stronger in the sense of physical state, but damn can I take some hard criticism.

      It kind of happens slowly. Gradual, you don’t even notice how detach you become.

      But this isn’t good bye, not by any means. The beginning hasn’t even started. Ed: I <3 you, Kyle: I can always call you, and thusly I <3 you too, Ryan: we still need to jam out to expendables, Tyler: forever my web cam buddy, … God this was a bad idea. IF YOU ARE ON MY LIST… mucho <3.…

      I can apoligize for my lack of presence for the past 4 years, or I can just thank you for being there… through it all… the ups and downs… even rights and lefts. Nothing is regretted, except maybe a little less video games and little more… physics or something. HA.

      Anyways I’ve got a lot of music to download, I just got this new computer and now I can finally get my Ipod to a point of organized, to a point of complete, and possibly… epic portion of music for my daily activities. :D

      <3

    • Going to California!

      9 years ago

      Chaya

      Oh yes... I am heading back down to my beloved state of birth.

      I can't wait. My plane leaves tomorrow at 0930, and it is about a 2-3 hour drive to the airport without traffic, so I will be waking up around 4 am, to leave 430... so I can be there early enough for the security. Which means I have to leave my car in the airport, not looking forward to parking fees V_V, but good part of it, is I wont have to wait to be picked up when I come back to SEATAC... Pretty stoked tho...

      However I have many chores to get done prior to my departure, and I have been procastinating... For example, yesturday I cooked dinner, it was an amzing dinner, home made mash potatoes, seared fish, green cuts, and after dinner drank all night... seriously... so many beer bottles... Also you know the card game WAR? If you want a fucked up drinking game, play that one... everytime you lose the match, you drink, everytime you lose the war, you finish your entire beer... Needless to say me and my friend only lasted 2 games... lol.

      While last night was extreamly fun, I had to sleep until 11 to gain energy to leave the bed, and proceeded straight to the comp- and instead of laundry, or cleaning my car like I should have been doing today... I went from lvl 14, to lvl 17... :D.... but still :(

      Now I must go, and actually start these lovely chores.

      cheers!

  • About Me

  • Comments (1206)

    • Abandoned

      7 years ago

      HEY... HEY YOU

      if you pass by any certain cities in the next while you should say something in case i happen to be in the same area at the same time

    • GreyFox389

      8 years ago

      3275461929_ae4815786d.jpg

    • jtmitchell87 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      9 years ago

      That's about what I'm at now. I sleep for roughly three hours and feel too awake to sleep more. Eventually I feel completely exhausted and crash until waking up again, repeating the cycle. It's starting to get better, but eh.

      I also know what you mean about getting "too much" sleep and still feeling like you need more. Too many days have I done that.


      Also. Cheese is one of the greatest things on the planet. I blame milk for it being so awesome.

    • Rowen

      9 years ago

      dear chaya

      <3333

    • GreyFox389

      9 years ago

      Don't think I forgot that it's your birthday too.

      Happy birthday!

    • SargeOA

      9 years ago

      hey. hows it going?

      i tried calling the other day but it went to some dudes voicemail D:

    • Capt_Ed

      10 years ago

      Thought of you

    • SargeOA

      10 years ago

      hi

    • jtmitchell87 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Someday, we will meet.

      There will be laughs. Hopefully of the good kind.

    • capncrunch86

      10 years ago

      i'm sorry. i couldn't resist the temptation to tease.


      but srsly....ham? everyone loves ham!

    • capncrunch86

      10 years ago

      ed made me do it!
      >_>
      <_<

    • capncrunch86

      10 years ago

      NCI_clove_ham.jpg

      oops how'd that get there

    • capncrunch86

      10 years ago

      just chilling...talking to ed on msn, making fun of stuff. same old stuff. you?

    • capncrunch86

      10 years ago

      *slap*

      long time no chit chat.

      hows you?

    • H2T3HK

      10 years ago

      We should be friends.

      Its best not to ask questions as to why.

    • AryaStark

      10 years ago

      Hey, doubt you remember me. You moved from CA to WA?

    • Capt_Ed

      10 years ago

      The Shape I'm In

    • SargeOA

      10 years ago

      tag

    • Zato

      10 years ago

      life finally gave you a chance to come up for air eh?

      how are things?

    • Zato

      10 years ago

      hey there uber lady in uniform smiley8.gif

    • Abandoned

      10 years ago

      i'm so awesome

      ps
      expendables here in 2 weeks :D

    • Abandoned

      10 years ago

      you should feel out of place. we all can't start off as hotties smiley6.gif

    • Abandoned

      10 years ago

      yeah i hardly recognize myself in my old pictures either :D

    • GreyFox389

      10 years ago

      How's your birthday?

    • GreyFox389

      10 years ago

      20.

      Woot.

    • cg1985

      10 years ago

      What I simply said in my journal is not to force change on someone because I wouldn't live like them, but simply I don't see the problem with contacting them, and offering them a chance to see what other Humans have done in their lives. I do not see why you are so against that?

      Your opinion is that we value the wrong things. Thats a completely subjective argument, which does not fly.

    • cg1985

      10 years ago

      I do not see what you are even arguing for. I've already pointed out I think it's fine to let people who want to live out their lives as is then no problem there. You seem to agree with this point.

      The other point you raised, about us creating our own wasteland, and having it all wrong is just stupid. For instance, if you put 6 BIL:LION people back into the stone age, no farms, so technology, humans would have an equal impact on the world around them as we do now. maybe worse. Raising Animals, growing large crops, re-cultivating land. There simply would not be enough resources without the technology. Plain, and simple.

      What you are explaining is what you believe to be the ideal life, as you see it. That you don't want to be judged by what you have, or what you know. But that infers that someone is doing something for some warped sense of approval. What if I WANT to know those things you seem to think of as a waste? what if I WANT what I have or don't have?

      And it is within our nature to have government. What civilzation DOESN'T? Even a tribe has a pecking order.

      People can do whatever they want to do. I don't want to force a belief system. But I take exception to condemning a way of life when not having all the facts. As you seem to be doing.

      And you writing off my comments is wonderfully hilarious.

    • cg1985

      10 years ago

      Hmm, you make some pretty big assumptions in your response.

      First off, I in no way called them inferior, In fact I even pointed to a comment to the original article about someone who had met someone in a similar position and that they were equal in intellect and intelligence. And it may appear to be infering superiority when I say, "Join the Modern Man" but that is not what I mean at all. Modern isn't always good.

      However, I take a little exception to a few comments. Sure Money may not exist in its current form, and sure, Government might not exist in its current form forever. But it will exist. And to say technology will fail is simply short sighted in my opinion.

      But i regards to idea that we should copy them not the other way around is simply silly. First off, if your going to criticize my opinions I'll do the same and ask why you haven't denounced technology and started living on a remote island, or in the amazon jungle?

      And secondly, these aren't innocent complete ecological beings. They use tools to their advantage, just because they don't have an edison, or an einstien in their culture does not mean that if they had them, they wouldn't advance to our level just the same.

      Some of these tribes do not want to embrace technology. Some want to live out their lives as they are now. More power to them. This is not a "They should be assimilated" but is it not fair to give them the choice? These are intelligent beings who are just as capable as us.

      Lastly, I think you give us humans too much credit we do not have the power to fuck this world up that badly. Even if we set off every nuclear weapon we had, and burned out the ozone layer, we'd die, but life would go on.

      I also wonder about your natural curiosity. Do you no wonder what the universe is like? Or how we came to evolve the way we evolved, how how matter has mass? Would you, not wonder what it's like to fly?

      Humans are curious beings. Just because you'd be content fending off the deadly jungle eating, uncooked plants in grass huts does not mean the insatiable quest for knowledge would be satisfied.

      We are what we are. We don't do what we do maliciously, except to our common man, and occasionally mosquitoes. We do have greedy people. Above all else, that is why we have the problems we have with extinction, and resource depletion, but you have people like this regardless of government, money, or technology. The only difference between us and an uncontacted tribe is numbers. Plain and simple. They are no better and we are no worse.

      So as equals, I think it is only fair to offer the possibilities to them.

      Post edited 9/26/08 7:11AM

    • RobbyMac217

      10 years ago

      SNEAKHUG.jpg

    • Capt_Ed

      10 years ago

      your face was mean to.... party....

    • Dane_SFC

      10 years ago

      smiley0.gif

    • Dane_SFC

      10 years ago

      No, you fuck off!

    • SargeOA

      10 years ago

      stop you're hating. that hat racks up bitches faster than balls on a pool table.

    • Rowen

      10 years ago

      because i am the terror that flaps in the night

    • Rowen

      10 years ago

      hi, my name is chaya and i am as cute as a button

    • Slevin

      10 years ago

      Well if I fuck off then how are we going to be friends then?

    • notelizerdbeth

      10 years ago

      I'm doing all the Army ROTC stuff here to get a military science minor. The purpose of the program is to make you ready to be an officer or whatever... but I don't intend to do that. It looks good on job interviews to have all that leadership bullshit and it's a hell of a lot of fun in class.... I don't want to be in the army as of now... but who knows what'll happen later on.

    • Rowen

      11 years ago

      chaya

      hey

      smiley12.gif

    • SinfullGuy

      11 years ago

      are you naughty or nice?

    • Rowen

      11 years ago

      pew pew <3

    • Ruble

      11 years ago

      what island of Hawaii

    • Que

      11 years ago

      living stong is all people can do...fuck all the bullshit and just live your life and if people give you shit don't give a shit do what you love... smiley8.gif


      your title lol

    • PirateWolf

      11 years ago

      lol you want another frined

    • Rowen

      11 years ago

      CHAYA

      I'M DRUNK

      AND I LOVE YOU

    • cbetts

      11 years ago

      I spent some time on the USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70), so I understand what you are going through, with the exception of being a woman on a ship.

    • Rowen

      11 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • halo3sniper

      11 years ago

      whats up?

    • SargeOA

      11 years ago

      i think like you, i ruin everything good around me too.

    • bp13iggy FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      11 years ago

      comicstarlol2.png

    • BasketOfFish

      11 years ago

      I guess I should have taken into consideration that you probably have no idea who I am before saying pretty bold things in your journal.

  • Questions

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