CrazySOB

Male
from Lexington,SC

  • Activity

    • Breaking News

      13 years ago

      CrazySOB

      I made what monotonous news anchors like to call a "shocking discovery" today. Some of you have probably noticed former president Bill Clinton getting thinner and looking very sick lately. If you haven't, go back to France you pastry eating neanderthal. Anyway, I also noticed Linda Tripp seems to be getting even fatter. I'm serious, she's in danger of collapsing under her own wieght and becoming a black hole here. I did some heavy investigating and discovered that the fat bitch is literally sucking the life out of the ex pres. That's right, the fucking cow in the clown makeup is gourging herself on the former player and cheif of the U.S. I was going to shoot her to save him but PETA stopped me. They also threw blood on my leather jacket and replaced my burger with a salad. This explains the 5 dead animal rights activists now impaled on my fence. So I have now taken it upon myself to see if Linda Tripp perhaps sucked the black out of Michael Jackson.

    • The French... need I say more?

      13 years ago

      CrazySOB

      You've probably been laughing at a bunch of French jokes lately. If not, move there pussy! And if you're offended... I'd like to take this chance to tell you to straighten your panties out and get over it... hippy. Any way, I'd like to explain exactly why I don't like France. It's not just that they can't stop drinking wine and eating pastries long enough to help out the country that saved their asses from the Nazis. Also, the people don't know how to take a fucking shower. One of my uncles just happens to be the most disgusting men I know. He pees in the hottun and pool, and even HE takes a shower every day. Also, they don't really do anything. France has a huge army, if they wanted, they could take Iraq without our help (even though the Iraqui war is a load of horseshit, but that's another journal entry) But, they're all pussies and won't ever help anyone out. Even Canada at least tries to help out. They have thirty guys with slingshots and some mooses they call an army but they still send them over to give a hand. Nice job France, Canada has now officially kicked more ass than you.

    • Those guys who write your text books?

      13 years ago

      CrazySOB

      "Nina, who is an epicure of snack foods, stops indulging herself with raw cauliflower long enough to side with Coleman." This was written in my english book as part of an exercise. So let me get this straight, they want us to believe that people with exceptional taste in snacks pass up chocolate for cauliflower? Ok, aside from the fact that everyone who's not lactose intolerant (haha! trannies!) knows that's a load of shit... what were they thinking? Did they think this would trick all of the lard asss into giving up their candy for delicious raw cauliflower? Have you EVER gone to a vending machine and seen raw cauliflower shoved in between the reeses and the M&M's? No. And that's not just because you couldn't get it back out. You know why? Because it's cauliflower! No one likes it! Oh... oh I get it, it IS a trick. We were supposed to figure out what epicure means from this sentence. So, obviously it either means diabetic or smacktard who eats shit like cauliflower because they think IT'S DELICIOUS!!!!!

    • Ann Rice is evil! No seriously...

      13 years ago

      CrazySOB

      So I read an Anne Rice (Is that how it's spelled? Do I really give a shit?) book so that my ex would shut up about her. This who thing revealed to me why my ex is such a freak, also why she's now my ex... She is inhumanly obsessed with sex. I mean, we all liek sex... but this was just ridiculous. It was about vampires so I though, "Blade killed vampires, this might be cool." Little did I know that these vampires don't kill people and suck them dry and all of that other vampire crap. No, they were superhuman, undead rapists. The whole book through everyone was having sex (which reminded me of how I wasn't I was reading a book by Anne fucking Rice) I am convinced that if Wesly Snipes had shown up in his kickass blade gears, he would have screwed the vampires until their heads exploded. So, Anne Rice is a dangerous phsycopath and should be eliminated, my ex girlfriend wants to be raped by a rotting corpse... and I'm getting a restraining order against the whole lot of 'em!

    • Yea, that's a load of bullshit...

      14 years ago

      CrazySOB

      Has there ever been a pickup line that made sense? All of them are stupid if you actually think about them. "I'd like to see you sometime." See me? You see me now! What the hell's wrong with you? If we're not going out you suddenly go blind? No wonder you're so deperate! "I like you." Of course you do! If you've been hanging around my house that much you either like me or you're a secret agent on some sort of steakout. And since noone knows about my plans for global takeover via nuclear war that's out of the picture. Can't we just come out and say it? "I find you at least sufficiantly attractive to spend a little time with you and haven't yet found any glaring character flaws or physical deformities. If you think the same then let's go out to a movie or something and I'll try to get you drunk and naked before the nights over. Deal?"

    • Hitler's Answering Machine?

      14 years ago

      CrazySOB

      The other day I was checking my answering machine when I got to wondering. You know the typical message, "Hi this is Tom, I can't get to the phone so leave me a message." So I was wondering, do you think Sadam Hussein has one of those? "Hey this is Sadam Hussein, I'm out on some executions so leave your name and number and I'll murder your family. Haha, just kidding... leave a message or I chop your hands off!" Or what would Hitler's have said if he had had one? "Heil! This is your lovable fuhrer. I'm shooting small children so leave your name and number or, if you're Jewish, leave your name and address and the names and addresses of your friends and family. Thanks! Heil"

    • Nuke those sons of bitches.

      14 years ago

      CrazySOB

      If you couldn't already tell by the title... today I'm bitching about weapons of mass destruction. At what point does it seem like a good fucking idea to have a weapon that if you use it on somebody... you're screwed too? I mean, I live in the south where we think the constitutional right to bear arms also protects our right to blow every god damn thing in sight away and even I think that's dumb as all hell. But, hey... when politicians are running the show, what do you expect? That's what we pay them for isn't it? To look good, though that means we're still dumb as hell. Look at Bush, Kerry, Nader, Colin Powell, Chaney and all the others. What do they all have in common? They're all ugly as hell! No wonder every other country calls us "those ugly americans", we elect people who look like they should be school janitors or some other shitty job like that. Hell, I could esily picture Kerry or Bush's ass crack hanging out of a pair of overalls as he fixes my toilet. I say we make a stand! If we're going to elect complete jackasses... elect good looking jackasses! Instead of Bush, vote Brad Pitt or something... I don't know. Whoever the chicks think is hot right now. As his Vice President we guys get JLo or something. I don't know, apparently I'm not allowed to look at hot women since I'm not single anymore. This brings me back to the god damn thing...

    • God Damn

      14 years ago

      CrazySOB

      ... god damn. My head's throbbing like a marching band, my girl punched me so hard I had to pop my jaw back into place, my cat shit on the floor and my machette's getting dull. And I still hate online journals... Actually none of that really happened I just felt like bitching and had nothing to bitch about. Except of course the complete and total lack of things to bitch about, which works fine for me I suppose... But that's just a very very lame thing to write about in on online journal so... well, here's a picture of Carmen Electra's crotch to make up for it.
      crmcrtch.jpg

    • Why I hate online journals...

      14 years ago

      CrazySOB

      Let's face it, most people who write in these things are either pathetic loosers, self absorbed assholes or chicks trying to keep in touch with themselves. Well, at least that's what I say here... in my neverending quest to piss off as many people as possible. To all of you who don't write in these things.. don't worry, I'll get to you later. But first of all, here I am haveing some sort of conversation with my computer. This happens to be a rather one sided affair however, as the computer is either a shitty listener or just doesn't care enough to respond. Either way, it makes me feel stupid. Not to mention is this thing available for others to see? Because if not, then I'm waisting my time by all possible accounts... so, haveing run out of things to bitch about... I bid you all adiu, or adue or however you spell that stupid french word.

    • 2019 years ago

      CrazySOB
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