So I'm not usually one for these reality show things, but this lady gave the biggest zing against stereotypes that I have ever seen, totally owning both the audience and the judges, not with her words, but with her sheer awesomeness. It made my day.
DaftProdigy Tinfoil Hatter
10 years agoDaftProdigy Tinfoil Hatter
I've been looking at the LFTO group threads, and Valarious's "Minds Not Travelled" thread really interested me. There are a lot of great ideas for "mindscape" maps on there, but no one has suggested any mental characters. So, I thought I'd start with Sarge. I posted that on the thread, but I'm still on a roll, so let's see what I can come up with in my journal...
Some of these will be rather simple. If anyone has any better ideas, my comments page is always open. =)
-Himself: Intelligent, well-spoken, and a great leader and soldier. All of his inventions and plans work flawlessly.
-Simmons: Completely loyal and subservient. He's not very bright, and he accepts Sarge's constant insults as glowing praise.
-Grif: Lazy, stupid, and easily killed. He probably respawns immediately after being killed, says something stupid/apathetic, and then is killed again.
-Donut: An effeminate rookie, obsessed with "secret agent" activities and remodeling Red Base. (Valarious adds that Sarge would probably "see him as a small child, annoying, but occasionally useful to do his chores and dirty work," which I also think is a great idea.)
-Lopez: Sarge's best amigo. He speaks in Spanish like normal, and while his speech insults Sarge, the subtitles are exactly what Sarge wants to hear at that moment--praise for a new plan or contraption, insults at Grif, et cetera.
-Church: A whiny, stupid blue who can't aim. Easily fooled by Sarge's plans.
-Tucker: Another incompetent blue. His sword doesn't do anything, and his "bow chicka bow wow"s are met by immediate death.
-Caboose: The only competent fighter on the blue team. However, he is also not very smart, so Sarge's plans still go off without a hitch.
-Tex: Evil and deadly. She is seen as a feared monster by the rest of Sarge's mental images, but she is kept away by one of Sarge's inventions.
-Sister: Ditzy and annoying. Her attempts to insult Sarge end up making her look bad instead.
-Doc: Speaks in medical "technobabble" that is impossible to understand. Various science and medical clichÃƒÂ©s abound.
-Wash (I forgot him in my earlier post): An annoying, bossy leader who is always wrong. He is a member of the blue team, and he hates the Reds with a passion.
-Himself: The only sane person at Blue Base. He has perfect aim--the sun never "gets in his eyes" or anything.
-Tucker: Constantly hits on Tex, and thus is meleed quite frequently. Always shows off his beam sword. His innuendos are hated by everyone.
-Caboose: Almost like a very dumb little brother. Teamkills Tucker a lot.
-Tex: A lot like she normally is, but with warmer feelings towards Church.
-Sister: Really, really annoying.
-Sarge: An incompetent leader with very...out there...ideas.
-Simmons: Stupid and a huge suck-up to Sarge. Every once in a while, he'll have a flash of independent thought, but he'll quickly stifle it to go with Sarge's plans.
-Grif: Appears lazy and apathetic when around his team, but is actually quite intelligent when they're not looking. He mumbles witty insults at his teammates, which they never seem to quite be able to hear.
-Donut: Rather incompetent, more interested in doing "girly" things than fighting.
-Lopez: A Spanish-speaking robot who hangs around solely to get possessed by Church. (I don't really have a good idea for him...have he and Church actually met, ever? Not counting possession?)
-Doc: An incredibly pacifistic doctor, with occasional flashes of O'Malley "evil mastermind"-ism.
-Wash: Generally sane, but with some crackpot ideas (like Church being an A.I., pfft...)
-Himself: An amazing ladies' man. All the girls want him, all the guys want to be him. He has amazingly sharp eyesight, but he doesn't need to use it because he always gets the sniper rifle anyway. His innuendos are hilarious to everyone else.
-Church: An appreciative fan. He comes to Tucker for relationship advice. He's holding an assault rifle because Tucker has the sniper rifle, but he doesn't mind because Tucker is so awesome.
-Caboose: An idiotic wannabe.
-Tex: In love with him, except for when she knocks him out for fun on Tuesdays.
-Sister: Again, in love with him, and easily persuaded by his charm.
-The Reds: I can't think of anything specific for them...They are all jealous of Tucker's ways with women, and they try to steal his sword. (Maybe I'll try harder later; I'm starting to run out of steam.)
-Doc: Jealous of Tucker, tries to make him sterile using the scanner (plasma pistol).
-Wash: N/A; Tucker's never met him.
We already know what's inside Caboose's head. No need to speculate here.
-Herself: A very smart, dangerous soldier. She is both respected and feared by both teams.
-Church: Pretty much like he already is, but with a little more pining for lost love. (I think that, deep down, Church still wants a relationship with Tex, but Tex has moved on and doesn't want to pursue it.)
-Tucker: Extremely annoying. Will hit on Tex and be immediately meleed by whoever is closest to him at the time.
-Caboose: A stupid, incompetent team-killer. Church and Tucker are shot by him at random intervals. (Church becomes a "ghost," and Tucker respawns/gets up, groaning in pain.)
-Sister: An aggravating "little sister" who tries to befriend Tex.
-Sarge: A very bad leader whose plans to capture Blue Base never work.
-Simmons: A thoughtless, overzealous follower of Sarge.
-Grif: Apathetic, whiny, and lazy.
-Donut: The only competent soldier on the red team. His aim is deadly, and his plasma grenades cannot be dodged except through extreme measures.
-Lopez: Just stands there, waiting to be possessed by Church when Church is shot by Caboose. After he's possessed and Church runs away in his body, Sarge builds a new Lopez, who also just stands there.
-Doc: A mix of pacifistic medic and evil mastermind. His two sides fight constantly. (A lot like in "reality.")
-Wash: Again, N/A.
And I'm out of space. More on this later.
10 years agoDaftProdigy Tinfoil Hatter
I wrote this when I first joined the site, before I became a sponsor and joined LFTO.
A Guide for Noobs, Written by a Noob
I know I've only been a member of the site for a week now, but I lurked for about eight months before actually making a profile here. Here are some of the things I've learned NOT to do in that time:
1. Absolutely DO NOT write "first" if you get first comment. Same goes for calling pretty much any post number. No one cares, really. You're just opening yourself up for neg mods. Also, I believe people are now being temp-banned for posting "zOMG FIRST LOLZ."
2. HOBBIE posts are going out of style. Even Hobbie is getting neg-modded for them. >_>
3. Don't ask the staff for awards or friend requests. Unless something is truly amazingly awesome, don't post it on their comments. Your brown-nosing is annoying. Simmons is funny, but real-life suck-ups are not.
4. Use spell-check. It's not that hard to type decently, guys.
5. Don't keep asking the staff when a new episode is going to come out. Look it up on the forums and prepare to be patient just like everyone else.
6. If you're not a sponsor, don't complain on the video pages about it. If it bothers you so much, spend the $10 to get a sponsorship. I know I'm going to have to wait a little longer to see a video than the sponsors will. I've gotten over it. So should you.
7. Referencing Red vs. Blue in every single one of your posts can be quite aggravating, especially when you say something just to lead up to a "bow chicka bow wow" or similar.
8. Speaking of which, if you are going to quote something, don't butcher it. I can't count how many variations of "bow chicka bow wow" I've seen on this site. There's a SHIRT of it, for crying out loud.
9. Don't take everything everyone says seriously. Sarcasm is a difficult thing to communicate over the Internet, and even if what someone says is deliberately mean, starting a flame war won't help anything. Ignore trolls' posts; just give their name and the thread they've been trolling to a moderator.
10. Be nice, and help other people out. You can get more positive mods this way than by trying to be witty. =)
Anyway, I doubt anyone will actually read this...Thanks for reading if you did, and if you did the tl;dr thing, thanks for scrolling down to the bottom of the page.
P.S. 11. A noob writing a long, bossy note is probably inviting neg mods and flames. Oh, well. =P
P.P.S. 12. Don't use a link that auto sends a friend request on your site or in your comments. If they like you enough, they'll give you a request anyhow. (Thanks, superjim!)
13. (From DaProphet02) Read prior posts before posting on a topic that has been quiet for 3 days. The conversation has turned to something different. You've lost your chance.
10 years agoDaftProdigy Tinfoil Hatter
I never thought of myself as much of an achievement hunter...I don't have an Xbox or a PS3, I don't play video games very seriously, and I kind of lack the skills needed to get achievements. But then I made an account on this site, and now I think I'm addicted to getting these little milestone awards. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not...=/
2019 years agoDaftProdigy Tinfoil Hatter
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