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    • Reflecting my first RTX

      2 years ago


      Photo of me

      July 2014 was a life changing time for me. It was my first time in Texas and I was filled with excitement and fear. Excited for the events that were going to take place and fearful of all the new places that I would be. 

      The universe seemed to want to add to my stress as much as possible. Because of how events transpired, I missed my flight out of Salt Lake. Fortunately, the airline just rolled me over to a later flight but I was still upset. Once I landed in Austin, though, things started to work out a bit. I was stay with my friend and his father just outside of Austin and so his father was there to pick us up from the airport. That night was spent having a relaxing time and being taken care of like a close family member. 

      The long hours and early mornings were rough to my sanity but the environment of RTX was so invigorating. I arrived each day still rubbing sleep out of my eyes but it was as if once I walked into the convention center that there was a new-found excitement in my soul. I reported to work, and once in place I could experience and witness the ecstatic convention goers and Roosterteeth cast members move like they were floating on cloud 9. Even though for three days I was just standing by doors and checking passes, I felt a part of a team working for a greater good.

      All the smiles and shared love touched me deeply. This wasn’t just a group of fans. This was truly a community and a family. The closing day we gathered after the doors closed as guardians to have our final meeting of the event. The emotions were strong in that room. The gratitude and love that we all shared with each other taught me how complete strangers could become a family. It was this experience that solidified to me my love for Roosterteeth, RTX, and friends. 

    • This was creative but it got ruined because it decided to go back and fucked it

      5 years ago


      Really that says it all. I had about 7 paragraphs written but now I'm so angry you get the abridged.
      I have great friends
      I have a lot of connections
      My birthday was great
      I was on a Korean show
      Midterm in Biology makes me want to shoot myself
      My cat is going to die and it makes me really depressed.
      Seriously I was on my very last sentence and the fucking thing was erased. Maybe if I feel less irritated tomorrow, which I doubt because it will be the day my cat dies, I'll expand.

    • A month has past...

      5 years ago


      Time for a new journal entry!!!

      To be honest, a lot of things have happened in this time. Top of the list? I WAS CHOSEN AS AN RTX GUARDIAN. From 1600 people I was one who was chosen. This means this will be my first time at RTX and I get to do what I love most, help people. I applied to work either security or be a personal assistant. I dream to be either Ray's or J.J.'s assistant, and if that happened...I would be a happy camper. I am so honoured to be chosen and plans seem to be working out so far.

      I've been learning Korean a lot lately and that has been intense and fun. I've made so many friends from that and I love it. I got to hang out and go bowling with Korean interns before they went back home and I miss them dearly but it was great to get to know them. Cute Korean boys and I now have a Korean mom and dad who gave me my very own Korean name. Han Sohee. ^.^ Also, today was my Korean father's 20th birthday and we literally made him the cutest damn card ever created.

      Tomorrow is Valentine's day.... *the most sarcastic woo ever* I will be single and most likely alone....I am going with Songs of the Heart choir to sing to people in the hospital though, so that will be nice. I'm really looking forward to Saturday because Sungho is making dinner for friends and he invited me to come too. Yum yum Korean food.

      Some of the most nerve-racking news I've received, which is also very exciting, is that they have added a two-and-a-half year Athletic Training program starting next year. This means that I'll be applying to the program and will hopefully be accepted next fall instead of in a year. Fingers crossed.

    • They always tell you your greatest enemy is your mind....

      5 years ago


      First with the not-so-heartbreaking. A week ago I gave myself a concussion and have been healing pretty well. It sucks because I can't really do much, in fact I can feel a headache coming on right now. I can't spend too much time on the computer or my phone. Video games are very tiring and can get painful. Thinking takes effort, and I find that to be one of the hardest parts. I've never before had to make myself sit down and think. But on to the sad now.

      Well I was proven right today.

      I, as myself, am not a choice, I guess you could say, for males. If you've read any of my previous journals you understand some of my troubles, and if you haven't read them, they are below. I have, in my life, had three relationships, all but one being terrible. The third wasn't terrible but left me very heart broken. I have been single for two year and three months. I figured that I should put myself out there.

      As indicated on previous journals I have had interest in this guy for quite some time now. Today, as result of a pact that me and two other girls made to do the same, I confessed my feelings to him. Of course, in a kind and careful way, he friend-zoned me. At first, probably because I was calming down from the adrenaline and everything else in my head, I was just happy that he still wanted to be friends. Then the pain seeped in. As stated in a favourite movie of mine, Penelope, "I felt the rush of a thousand heartbreaks."

      Now I'm in pain. Not just physical, but emotional. I know it's not true but I feel worthless and unwanted. There's no point in asking how I am because the answer is pointless. It doesn't matter how I feel because I'll keep living, and another week will go by, to another month, to another year. But since most will ask, no, I'm not doing alright or okay or any other cop out response. I'm upset and unhappy and it is my right to be that way.


      I guess take away message would be, you know you're right. Don't put yourself out there and blind yourself with crazy fantasies that will never come true. Throw away everything you are told about "you never know until you try." Time only shows that the beautiful and the popular and the well off can live with wants while the rest of us, us outcasts, beg, grovel, and scrape for what we need. I'll get through school, get a job, and live my life. I don't doubt that that will happen at all.

      People always ask why I play video games and the answer is so simple. It's always easier for me to live in a fantasy that is sure instead of disappointment.

    • I think the date is pretty cool today

      5 years ago


      Its the 22nd day of the 11th month. Woo.

      Really its been a long week to get to this Friday. Disappointment is a common occurrence for me. It becomes more evident how much people don't want me. That's okay I guess, for such is the life I live. Everything is banking on me being able to switch apartments at semester because lemme tell you, this has been too fucking long of a semester.

      In boy news, still single, as always. He's still awesome and cool and great in every way and there has been some wins I just being friend-zoned? I really can't tell.

      Trisha took me exercising with her last night and it kicked my ass to another dimension. What she said was a run/jog was this whole running and aerobic workouts for about an half of an hour.

      Today, though, one of my best friends decided to leave her boyfriend and go home a state away. She says that she'll be back but I don't know when and its a little sad....(actually a lot sad)

      So yeah...I'm just sad and pushing along. Four days until I can go home for Thanksgiving....

    • Maybe its about time for another journal

      5 years ago


      So today ended up being a happy-d-dappy Sunday for me. I woke up with the usual of people talking in the back ground and all that usualness and thought to myself "here we go with another day in 'paradise'". When it got to 12 I decided I should probably get up and eat me some breakfast and head over to church, and I did just that.

      When I got there I got pretty good parking, so yay for that. As I walked in -and here comes the churchy talk with the churchy terms- my relief society president said hi to me like usual but she then informed me that she changed my visiting teaching companion (the girl I was originally paired with was not good and it had been a big stress in my life lately.)

      Church was pretty darn good and I really enjoyed it. Best part is that I've had this idea to arrange a medley for the longest time but had not been getting around to it so I brought it to church with me. I later finished it at the fireside later that night. I'm so proud of myself because once I finish up about 5 bars in the middle which I actually need a piano for this will be the first music I have ever wrote.

      So the fireside was awesome. I arrived just on time and sat in the front closest to the organ where I found that my thought was correct. Certain guy who I've had some "stirrings," as Captain Jack Sparrow says, was playing the organ. After he was done he ended up sitting next to me which he smiled at me after he recognized me before he sat down. *squee* It was awesome...and I really hope that he doesn't read this and if he does that he doesn't think I'm creepy or anything.

      Pretty spectacular day if I may say so myself. Tomorrow I have swimming in the morning which is probably one of my favourite classes so I'm really looking forward to it. Also may be some possibilities of seeing Thor opening night next week....which is the best news of all.

    • First of possibly many shitty ass journals

      5 years ago


      Today I woke up to probably the most exciting surprise. No I didn't win a million dollars. Even better.

      I drew a photo for Ray, yes the Ray you are thinking about, for his birthday. I sent it, giving me utmost amounts of stress.

      "What if he doesn't get it?"

      "What if he doesn't like it?!?!?!"

      I sent it late because I'm a dumb ass but that's besides the point....Sent it on Monday and because I'm a cheap ass poor college student just used regular shipping, which they said would take about three days, which it did.

      Back to the exciting part. Today I woke up, and when I finally was animated enough to move, I checked my phone. I saw that I had a mention in Twitter. To be honest I thought it was from Dylon, because he responded to a few tweets last night, b.t.dubs, exciting as well. But as I clicked on it it pulled up a tweet that I've never seen before. I looked at the profile photo and saw the brown crown. -died a little inside- then I read the text. Ray not only received my gift but enjoyed at least enough to say something about it. -mother fucking, I was exploding with happiness. If I didn't have 5 roommates I would have screamed-

      I'm just so happy. I not only for once in my life drew something half way decent but someone whom I consider to be famous liked it.

      I'm just going to roll around in happiness for a few hours.......

    • 5 years ago

    • 2019 years ago

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