Drain_You

Female
from Galesburg, IL

  • Activity

    • 6 years ago

      Drain_You
    • 6 years ago

      Drain_You
    • 6 years ago

      Drain_You
    • 6 years ago

      Drain_You
    • Anybody miss me?

      6 years ago

      Drain_You

      I was on here, looking at older posts, so I thought I'd stop, and say hi!

      Anyone who hasn't, can find me on facebook!

    • DONE WITH RVB

      9 years ago

      Drain_You

      I decided to no longer use RVB for blogs or picture posting. I don't feel like I get as much use out of it as I used to.

      I think it's finally time to say goodbye.

      You can find me on.....

      MYSPACE:www.myspace.com/iroxxor

      FACEBOOK:http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=10009086&id=626050614&fbid=361346895614#/heather.mcclay1?v=info&ref=profile

      LIVEJOURNAL:http://moonlily78.livejournal.com/ (You have to add me as a friend and have me add you back to read my blogs)

      EMAIL:moonlillie@gmail.com

      MSN:moonlillie@hotmail.com

      YAHOO:heather_mcclay

      AIM:drain_you



      I would like to thank everyone for an amazing 4 years on this site,and I will never forget the times shared here!

      <3

    • Rage

      9 years ago

      Drain_You

      Thursday,I had a SMALL episode. This was minuscule compared to anything else I've ever done.

      Brent was supposed to have Thursday off,but they ended up calling him in to cover someone elses shift. I don't handle my plans being changed very well,even if it's just planning on Brent being home that night,it still bothers me when that gets changed. Yet,another thing I can't help.

      I was trying to hold in the act that I was upset,but I don't do that very well,so Brent was bugging me about what was wrong,so instead of talking calmly about why I was upset,I screamed my problems at him. This only lasted maybe 10 minutes,then I realized what I was doing and just calmed myself down.

      Is this progress? How long until another episode?

    • <3

      9 years ago

      Drain_You

      My friend,Jessie made this for Willow's birthday yesterday. It's lovely and the song is perfect.

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8gGeot3PB8&feature=player_embedded

    • Happy Birthday Willow!

      9 years ago

      Drain_You

      Happy 2nd birthday Willow Jean. I miss you!

    • Anger

      9 years ago

      Drain_You

      Some of you know this about me,some of you are just learning. Well,I am sick of having skeletons in my closet,secrets,hiding things. I feel I need to be honest,and open about everything with everyone. I feel I am living a lie if people don't know the real me.

      I have lived with severe anger issues,all my life I am going to say. At least as far back as I can remember. I can't believe it hasn't completely ruined my life. I am surprised I still have friends,family,even a husband!

      It used to be so bad,I would have,what I called episodes almost daily,every 3 days at best. When I am having an episode,it can be something that would normally just irritate a "normal" person,but with me,I totally fly off the handle,I go into a ranting rage,I say the meanest things you could ever imagine,I yell,I scream,I cry,I don't usually hit or throw things,but it has happened. It's almost like a temper tantrum,but 100 times worse. I lose all control. I can't stop the rage inside me. Usually it's something that's not even worth raging over. I don't know why I lose control so bad,it's just always been that way.

      Very few of my friends know this about me. Brent knows all too well how I am on a really extremely bad day though. I've said things to him I am ashamed to even say. Things you should never say to a human being. Anything from,I hate him and want him to die,to go jump off a building,or I've even told him I would kill him myself!There are so many other terrible things I've said to him,that I don't even want to spend the time writing,but if you need to know,ask me I spose. Why would someone say these things to someone they love and would do anything for? I have NEVER acted on those words mind you. I have never tried to kill Brent,I have never tried to leave Brent,even though I've said it plenty of times. The worst I've down to him was try to slap him in the face but failed because his reflexes are much faster.

      I have only had a spare few episodes in public. I am thankful for that,because not everyone truly understands this problem I have,I am not doing it on purpose to be a bitch,I truly cannot help it.

      How could someone want to stay with someone like me? I've never figured it out. I love him with every fiber of my being,and he knows this,but when I have an episode and I say those things,it has to hurt him so bad,I know it hurts him,he's told me. He knows I love him,and he knows I can't help what I say when I have an episode. I just don't know how anyone could deal with me for as long as he has.

      I will say that my rage has gotten so much better as the years have gone by. I can proudly say that I have gone from having episodes several times a week,to now I only have maybe one or two a month! I am really working on things,so hard. Trying to figure out why I am like this,what makes me get out of control when I am just a little bit angry,what sets me off to full blown rage,how am I making less and less episodes. That's the biggest question I have,I have made my rage plummet so much,but how?

      I am so grateful that I have not lost anyone in my life because of my issues. I thank you all who have been part of my issues for sticking with me.

      Please,if you have any questions or comments for me,please,feel free to post them or send me a message even. I am an open book as of now!

  • About Me

  • Comments (1061)

    • k_dizzle

      9 years ago

      hey just thought id say hi and see what new with you and your famliy hope all is well ..

    • TabbyKat

      9 years ago

      mortyrshell knows all about that. He may have a few tips that could help you with keeping the irritation to a minimum.

    • toxicity_kid

      10 years ago

      Damn. That sucks...


    • toxicity_kid

      10 years ago

      Wow, that's harsh. If your friend got all pissed off just because you asked why you weren't invited to outings herself and the rest of your friends do....then, she isn't a friend at all! I say, it isn't worth your time. I'm sure you have more friends than just that particular group of people.

      Don't see why no one would invite you to hang with them anyway...you seem like a pretty cool laid back person.

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Sorry I have been so quiet so long, life has been keeping me so busy and so frazzled lately. You have one beautiful family there. Cherish every moment.

      Bufford

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Holy crap,how did he get so big already!?

      I've been giving him steroids... >.> <.<

      Religion shouldn't play a part in a relationship of any sort.

      True, but the difference in certain Religions would. I'm just interested in peoples opinions on this matter. I've decided already that if Amine asks me (thats the Muslim I mentioned in the journal) I'm going to say yes because I love talking to him and so far we get along so well. ^_^

    • Dropkick

      10 years ago

      Glad to see you, the man & the new little man are doing well.

    • TabbyKat

      10 years ago

      I know my baby faces.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Thats so awesome! Let's hope he's like Merric and lets you sleep as much as you need. XD

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Yeah, moving in with you guys would be awesome. I could help with cleaning and work to help pay bills... and watch Seth when you guys want to go out and do married people things.. ^^

    • evilkitten

      10 years ago

      Just come on to say Good luck for tomorrow and I hop everything goes well. I am excited for you =)

      smiley9.gifsmiley9.gifsmiley9.gif

    • Psychoblonde

      10 years ago

      sure whatever blam the Doc. I know how that works :)

    • taioko

      10 years ago

      That's funny, I just finished watching all of Invader Zim as well! LOL, we then jumped to Dragonball Z! ^.^ Happy Easter weekend!

    • chaney0823

      10 years ago

      Sounds good!

    • chaney0823

      10 years ago

      ok. I've got an appt at 9:40, so afterwards perhaps?

    • chaney0823

      10 years ago

      Of course. and I need to stop by and see you guys, until the kitties get to me! haha.

      Would it fit in the trunk of a Buick?

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      I totally understand. Which is another reason the insurance companies are assholes and I hates them. >.<"

      And I'm just saying.. at least you wouldn't be out on the streets.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Okay hon, I was just curious. *hugs* It was just one of those things that made me go "hmm.. I wonder whats up."

      No judgment here. :)

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      So happy!
      That's about like Brent driving all the way to see me when he JUST met me on the internet! Makes you feel special huh?
      It's especially awesome he wants to spend time with Merric. Alot of boys will freak out at the thought of a kid in the picture.


      Yeah, we met online. ^^" And we were talking one day on webcam's and Merric wanted up on my lap, and Dave (the "mystery British boy") tells me how cute he is. ^-^ I'm very excited to see how he is with Merric.

    • chaney0823

      10 years ago

      Would you or Brent be interested in data entry jobs?

      www.bway.org/component/option,com_jobline/Itemid,30/

      Check out the Data Entry Operator description, and then click BACK and go to Bridgeway Application to apply for it. It's an extensive app only because it's a generic one for all of their jobs. but I just applied for a position in Macomb and saw they were hiring in Gburg as well. Since you spend a lot of time on the comp, I figured your typing skills must be decent :-)

      Hope all is well!

    • TabbyKat

      10 years ago

      well that's good news.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Only a moron would give a baby 2 month old formula that's already been open. She's lucky he didn't get sick.


      The worst part is... she works at a daycare. In with the infants.

    • TabbyKat

      10 years ago

      I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!

    • TabbyKat

      10 years ago

      you don't have a preggo ticker.

    • Psychoblonde

      10 years ago

      Yes Chris & I can't wait to be parents

    • Qchan

      10 years ago

      I hope everything is going well with you. :)
      It's been nice getting your comments from time too time,
      I hope everything works out for you in anything you want it too.
      <3

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      I mean every word.

      you are so fucking fantastic it drives me crazy. smiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley12.gifsmiley0.gifsmiley8.gif

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Man thats fucked up.. 5 days.. >.<"

    • Psychoblonde

      10 years ago

      I am so happy for you to also

      feeling baby move feels so wired

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Anytime. smiley12.gif

      Unfortunately we share something horrible, fortunately we both have somewhere to turn.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Thank you hon :)

    • taioko

      10 years ago

      Aww, Thank you! I love you too! ^.^ I hope you're having a fantastical week!

    • taioko

      10 years ago

      Happy Thanksgiving! ^.^

    • Kittiegirl92

      10 years ago

      i need something that allows me to be constantly online because i correspond via email with so many people. and there are so many features for the iphone that would just make my life so much easier. that and i think i can put skype on it!

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Yeah, he just did NOT want to sit in it properly. So we just held on to him and he played sitting on the tray with his feet where his butt should have been XD

    • Kittiegirl92

      10 years ago

      yea i've tried the box stuff and really they're all shit. a salon cost more but it's worth it in the end

    • Kittiegirl92

      10 years ago

      nope didn't bleach i would never ruin my hair that way. i just went to the aveda salon and they did it.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Thats why its so dark. You can't except it to be brighter than your original colour if you don't bleach it and take the original colour out first.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Yeah.. and the socket wrench thing.... I figured I would just have to make sure he kept it out of his mouth... I didn't think I would need a helmet to protect my brain.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Yeah, but we love him. XD

    • taioko

      10 years ago

      Yeah, we're not gravy people, but since we ALWAYS have dinners here and we have gravy people in our family it was worth the $2. lol

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      I know you won't. ^_^

      You're great people. <3

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Oh, well then double awesome. ^-^ I went to school with a Seth from like grade 4 until 9. ^^"

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Thats the most retarded argument ever. It's like these people have never made a mistake before. It's amazing that you know so many perfect people Heather.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Was it the video of the song, or the one with people talking about it? Because it in the video is amazingly smexy. Anthony Stewart Head makes my life so much better in the song.. and movie.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      It was delicious. XD

      I'm so freaking excited as well for the DvD release. ^__^

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      Oh yeah, it was my favorite of what I'd heard too... and then we saw the movie and Night Surgeon made my pants so happy. XD

    • taioko

      10 years ago

      I kinda feel like a bandit too!

    • laeria

      10 years ago

      o_o

      That was only an hour of work!? Holy cow! XDDDD If I ever have to wear some make up I want him to come put it on me, then. >XD

      (Or you... Either way. ^_^)



      And I know, right? =o

      It's obviously all jealousy and nothing to do with friends... >.>;

      Especially since I wouldn't even have known she existed if not for them.

    • KiSsCoNcReTe

      10 years ago

      *hugs*

      well they will just make you cautious?

      I'll keep you in my prayers though.... because you and Brent deserve the greatness that is being a parent. It's not fair that Matt the jack-ass retard can be a father, but Brent can't.

  • Questions

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