Drunkard

Male

  • Activity

    • SORRY!!! WRONG NUMBER!!!!

      13 years ago

      Drunkard

      Funny story today at Wal-Mart. A customer called today asking about the warranty of our Deep Cycle batteries in automotive. He said that someone told him the warranty was 5 years for on of these batteries.
      “No,†I replied, “the warranty is only 30 months, or 2 and a half years.â€Â
      “Oh, so how much does that workout to?â€Â
      “About 90%. You would have to pay about $90.00.â€Â
      “OK. Can you give me the number of the company, Energizer?â€Â
      “Yeah, sure. Just give me a second. I have to call someone to get the number.â€Â
      So I put him on hold and call the Claims Department and I ask for the number.
      After looking for a minute or two, she comes back on the phone. She tells me the number is 1-800-560, and the rest of it. I can’t remember the rest of it. If you want, I’ll try and find it and publish it.
      So I tell the customer, he thanks me, and we both hang up. Not even ten minutes later, it’s him again.
      “Yeah, the number you gave me is wrong. It’s like some kind of sex chat thing for women.†So I tell him just a second and put him on hold. I’m thinking “Fuck, this guy is a retard! He can’t even dial the number correctly. Turns out I said that out loud because I heard a few chuckles behind me. EEEP!!! Customers heard me. Shit!
      So I go into the office and look for that number and find it right where I left it. I pick up the phone and tell him that it is the correct number. He must have dialed wrong. So he says thanks, once more and hangs up.
      Just for shits and giggles, I try the number.
      It rings once.
      It rings a second time.
      Someone picks up on the other end.
      A sexy, female voice coos over the phone into my ear. “Hi. If you have your access code, enter it now to continue….†It’s a recording.
      I burst out laughing. I was thinking the people at Energizer were extremely friendly. Many people stopped what they were doing outside of the office. I had hung up at this point so I told them to come in and listen to the phone number I just gave to a customer.
      Speakerphone is a wonderful invention for times like this. I type in the phone number and everyone else burst out laughing too. Except for one person. We call him Flanders (behind his back). He is a bible thumper. He just lifts his eyebrows and shakes his head and smiles. Lighten up, Flanders!
      I quickly let management know about that faux pas. And the idiots in claims. Turns out they should have said 705, not 800. They were shocked. That customer called back. Thankfully I did not pick this one up. He was PISSED!!! Of course my manager was going to tell the customer to try this number instead. I told him not to do that, just let him come in and exchange the battery for free. It is not worth the problems he could create. Upper management agreed. So the customer will be coming in on Thursday to exchange the battery and possibly yell at me.
      Hopefully, by that time, I will be drunk or just sobering up. I am working on my third vodka right now and no buzz as of this moment. Of course I have been sitting for about 30 minutes.
      So we’ll see what tomorrow brings. YEA, Wal-Mart!!! Gimmee a W, gimme an A…and so on. Ad nauseaum.

    • BIG STORM MONDAY AT 5-ish!!!

      13 years ago

      Drunkard

      Well, I survived the storm. Monday, at around 4:00pm, I was biking home when I bumped into an old friend. I talked with him for a bit and we exchanged e-mails. He said to e-mail him that same night. I thought by the way the clouds looked, we were in for a thunderstorm, so I figured I'll do it another night.
      I get home at around 4:30 or so and make myself a good, stiff drink (vodka and just enough pop to make it a light brown colour. I chug my lug while sitting out on the front porch reading my Stephen King book called "On Writing." It starts to rain and thunder a little. Then the wind picks up. I have this stronger feeling that something big is about to happen; of course, it could be the alcohol kicking in as well. I don't know.
      Anyway, I look to my left down the street and coming up the street are the darkest clouds I have ever seen in my life. I run inside, kick off my slippers and put my Doc Martins on, then run upstairs to close the windows because by this point, rain is starting to come in. No sooner had I closed the final window when Hell was unleashed. I could not see twenty feet from the house. The rain was being pushed by what they say was 80 km per hour winds (around 45 miles per hour). A pilot later said it was more like 180 km/hour winds (100 miles/hour).
      I ran downstairs and stood, crouched, like I was getting ready for the 100-meter dash, at the front door. I thought about going into the basement but I have two cats and one of the little fuckers tends to use the basement as a litter box. So, I did not want to get trapped in a stinking basement for hours or days in case the house collapsed. I was ready to run outside and take my chances with the wind or whatever the hell was flying around out there. Incidentally, just before the storm hit, my cats were no where to be seen. Smart cats.
      It was over very shortly. And I sobered up.
      The house had no damage except for one shingle that fell of the roof. Of course it could have been from a house three or four blocks away. The damage to other people's houses a street over was scary. Trees fell onto some houses. Wires down. Well, just look at the pictures in my images.
      And they say there was no tornado. And I say they are full of shit.
      Sorry this was so long, but alot happened and I didn't include everything that happened.

      Toodles for now.

    • Back-up plan.

      13 years ago

      Drunkard

      Just a little add-on to my last journal entry.

      If the teacher's college thing doesn't work out, I will be going back into the military. Full-time this time. I was in the Reserves last time. It was hard going from civilian life to army life and then back again. I would work my regular job (at Wal-Mart) Monday to Friday and Friday night, I would go, for the weekend, to the Reserves for Basic Military Qualifications. At the Reserves, we could swear at anytime we wanted, just not at the instructors. Then, on Monday, when I went back to Wal-Mart, I was still on military language. In other words, I was swearing in the store while working (for example, "Just put the fucking DVD back in the fucking box.")

      Any questions, just ask.

    • Long time.

      13 years ago

      Drunkard

      Wow, it has been awhile since I typed anything. Well, nothing new here. We lost the baseball championship, because of some sore losers on the team. A couple of the guys didn't like this one girl playing first so they told her to play somewhere else, which pretty much threw everyone off their game. For example, if you have played outfield for the whole season and then are asked to play first base, that will throw you off. The funny thing is, the girl who played first was playing outfield, she did not make an error. The guys who did the bitching about her playing made a few errors. So what goes around, comes around.

      I am applying for teachers college. I will hopefully be going back to school next year. Hopefully.

      Anyway, that's all for now.

      Toodles.

    • My adventures in baseball.

      14 years ago

      Drunkard

      Sunday night we had a baseball game at this shitty field. I hurt myself twice. The first time was while trying to field this foul ball grounder. It bounced kind of funny and hit of my arm and bounced towards the fence. Corporal Cooridination here ended up stumbling into the fence, hand first, cutting and scraping my hand on the chainlink fence. Then the ball went under the fence and I reached under to get it. Again, I cut myself.
      The next time Captain Canadian here hurt myself was while beating out the throw to first. I may have pulled 'daddy's favorite muscle,'the groin muscle. It felt bad. It felt like I got kicked in the mommy-daddy button. Good times.

      We tied 4-4.

      The next game was monday. A much better game. I still hurt like hell but I played much better. And we won 10-6.

      Having a difficult time in walking. If it doesn't get any better, I may go to the doctor. But I won't walk to the doctor. I will crawl.

      Toodles.

    • Red Bull and Vodka Strikes Again!

      14 years ago

      Drunkard

      I don't remember typing anything about a basement. I MUST have passed out. HA! If anyone knows what the hell I was talking about in my last journal entry, please let me know.

    • The basement.

      14 years ago

      Drunkard

      Where is the basement? I figure if I am drunk enough, I'll stumble down there.

    • Journal entry, eh?

      14 years ago

      Drunkard

      This site is cool!!! Um, my computer sucks!!! I'll update later!

      I've got baseball in about half an hour. After the game, I'll get liquored up and THEN I'll type something up. Or pass out. Red Bull and Vodka go so well together. Goes down so smooth!!!

    • 2019 years ago

      Drunkard
    • 2019 years ago

      Drunkard
  • About Me

  • Comments (9)

    • TearsofRed

      13 years ago

      Awe thank you!

    • StupidIdiots

      13 years ago

      Thank you!

    • Box

      13 years ago

      What did your message say?

      For some reason I cannot open it smiley5.gif

    • darius

      13 years ago

      Thanks!!!

    • CanadaRocks8

      13 years ago

      Happy New Year!

    • CanadaRocks8

      13 years ago

      Merry Christmas!!!

    • XboXmoXie

      13 years ago

      Hey - on my red vs blue profile I left My adventures in buying an XBOX 360. If you care at all - come by and read. VERY INTERESTING IS MY LIFE.

    • Crag

      13 years ago

      "ling ling here to destroy all" ... etc

    • Pearce1991

      14 years ago

      nice pics

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