Endracne FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

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from Columbia, SC

  • Activity

    • Resolve... (journal #1)

      6 years ago

      Endracne

      how do i begin? as i type this out i feel confused... scared... despaired...lost...abandoned and out of place. what am i doing? my life? what has become of it? when did i get here? i am a Gamer, music lover, a RvB Fan, but aside from these what has become of me? i moved up here 3 years ago, and now i see i am discontent with myself. i had ambitions, i have goals, i had desires. now i see that daily i live only to exist. but this sort of existence is painful. this existence is is not who i want to be. so i have been up most the night thinking what i should do?


      this all begin early this morning. when i had saw a game come on steam.. called Gone Home. i figured i had no money so i quickly looked for a let play of it and found one. watching the game being played and seeing the story was a bit odd for me. because i was finding myself feeling the same way Sam, a character in the game, was. i thought back to my youth because of this game. it made me feel happy. thinking back at how i was in high school and how 3 years slowly changed me. at the end of the game. something happens and it had me near tears. and because of this game and the feelings it gave me most my day i have spent... in a sort of daze.

      i went to work and most my bud's thought i was depressed. it was a bit weird i wasn't depressed i was thinking was all. but then i did dawn on me. i was depressed. i even thought about suicide. which just now pisses me off. i don't support the idea of taking your life. its just not right like at all. but i was in a bad place. and it may all sound crazy. why would a game do this?


      the answer is simple. it wasn't the game it was the memories it bought up. and how i am no longer the person i was. i dropped out of college in my first week because i didn't wanna go, i figured it would be easier to just live on my own and work. well i moved then, from my ma's home to Columbia, South Carolina. my dad was kind enough to help me find a job and so i have had this one job for 3 years now. but these three years are odd to me. i lost desire to advance myself. i spent most my days drinking and partying. when i wasn't doing that i was blowing my money on games and enjoying myself.


      now i am here, at this point where i see i am not where i want to be. i wanna have a career. i wanna have a life i am proud of. i want to move on with my life and try to be something.


      so here is my resolve.

      i will pull myself up from where i am. i will get back into college, ditch the drugs i have been taking. and try to write here about my day and hope i stay on this because i no longer want to waste my life.

      so here is the first journal. wish me luck.

      Signed
      En

    • Europa Universalis IV... day 1

      6 years ago

      Endracne

      ok so i downloaded the game. i waited up an entire day for it to release. so i quickly played 3 hours of it as England and suffered some slight issues getting to know the game. England... a super-power lost to Scotland so yeah i knew i needed to work harder at it but it would have to wait.. i needed to go to work T.T but now i returned from work and played 3 hours as a small county in Ireland... now when i can figure out how to take a screen shot of my progress i will post it here! but effectively England is ruined and i have all of Ireland! BWHAHAHAHA. anyway i believe this is a good point to sign off EU4 and possible have a nap im only now at the 48 hour mark... and insomniac as i am i do need to sleep at some point! but i am not working tomorrow so i might just stay up another day!


      signed
      En

    • into the breach....

      6 years ago

      Endracne

      and so my Europa Universalis IV is finally downloaded... and as i get ready to play it... a sudden wave washes over me... i spent the last 26 hours and 12 minutes waiting for the game to become available. now i have the last moments before i play... i have to work... i have to take a nap... but no... NO TRUE GAMER would skip out on playing the lastest game on date of release just because he might... just maybe... might burn some costumers food sleeping on the job. act a bit cranky and bite off the head of a co-worker or three.... and so it begins... into the BREACH I GO!


      but which one to be? ireland, japan, or ottoman? i will return one day to report on this but for now my last few hours before work... is to EU4!


      Wish me luck!

    • and the time creeps by...

      6 years ago

      Endracne

      ever so slowly as i await my copy of EU4! ugggghhhh just one more hour and i have to take a nap before work so i hope to get an hour playing before that two hour nap! come on!!! I NEED MY FIX!

    • 6 years ago

      Endracne

      7 hours... 7 hours and counting and europa universalis IV is available!!!! can't wait.... can't wait!!!

    • its time to bite the bullet....

      6 years ago

      Endracne

      i have three days..... until eu4 is out... and my game life for the next month is consumed... soo i have to bite the bullet and try to finish ff7 and/or ff8 before that! sooooo no sleep until then!

    • 6 years ago

      Endracne

      i dislike how Rwby mispronounces weiß (weiss/white)'s name its more like Vice then Wh-ice

    • and the wait begins!

      6 years ago

      Endracne

      pre-ordered europa IV just....4...more...days.... its killing me!!!! the demo was fun though! and i got to say i can't wait i can now send my data from crusader kings 2 to europa! so that is a plus right!
      anyone else excited bout it?

    • Crusaders King II: stories?

      in Forums > Crusaders King II: stories? | Follow this topic

      Endracne

      so i have this game called Crusader Kings 2. its a sandbox game spanning 867- 1459. you play as a count...duke...king, or emperor! counts rule a county, dukes rule more then one county and thus can have a count as their vassal, a king rules a kingdom which has more then one dukedom. finally a emperor rules an empire of more then one kingdom! you play parts as a ruler or vassal, you hold a court of numerous courtier, have a council to help you rule. what does this all have to do with stories? simple! I'm going to to make a ruler, and write out what happens from month to month.role playing as him in the actions and finally writing a nice story about what all transpires.


      so here begins the first medium for a story!



      i will begin the story on another topic and try to post a few images as well!

      1 reply

    • 6 years ago

      Endracne
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