FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

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from Enfield, north London

  • Activity

    • Happy New Year! Pt2 - 2019 Preparation

      5 months ago

      FameWolf

      Before it gets too late to say it - Happy New Year!

      (Yes, I should have written this yesterday. But it's still "New Year-ish", and I'm ok with that)


      So, the vast expanse of 2019 looms before us, an empty space ready to be filled with whatever we pour into it. Twelve months of potential that just needs us to try and live up to something... what might that be? Well, let's start with the same basic rule as previous years - NO RESOLUTIONS.


      A change isn't a switch, it's a lifestyle, and resolutions feels too much like binary win/lose things. So I have goals, smaller and shorter term things that feel like they are more the life I want to be living, and should be living. And are quite broad, to be honest.


      Exercise. I did good last year, getting into decent shape just in time to become Officially Old. Then the year spiraled into chaos and I lost the kind of motivation that is needed to improve. But I maintained roughly the point I was at, and still feel pretty healthy... but I could still do better.


      I almost went for a jog this morning straight out of bed, and felt lazy afterwards for not doing so. I'm not going to lie, cardio is probably my weakest aspect right now, and I'm thinking I need to set some short term goals to aim for - "run a mile without stopping for breath", for example, a stage I've been at before and could likely get back to in a few weeks.


      Write. Most of last year I was exchanging short stories with friends every month, and enjoying it - I'd hit a point where I'd lost the passion for getting words down, and this picked it up again. So I have a goal of keeping this going this year...


      "A story a month, an article a week" I'd written as a note the day before yesterday. The stories are easy to maintain - I hope - but the articles... I'll consider that an aim more than anything. Probably one of my great failings last year was getting back to any kind of freelancing work, or even the mental state needed to keep firing off ideas. But the more I write, the easier it gets to write, and getting articles up - even ones that aren't going to be getting a wide audience - is good practice, and builds both a portfolio and confidence.


      Read. Dear Lord, there are a lot of books here, and I know I'll be a better person for taking in even some of the content here. Plus, other people's words and ideas are fuel for my own. Plus also, so many books I'll likely never read a second time, so reading them once and passing them on to charity frees me up a lot of space too.

      There are a lot of books. I doubt I'll make a dent in them.


      Unity. Maybe. I'm interested in learning the engine, I have a background - albeit two decades ago - in programming, and I think I know what makes a good game better than a bad one. Plus, I can make a cheap mobile game and earn millions in microtransactions. Or maybe not... but I'm interested. It may not last, I may not have the aptitude, but starting is the hardest thing and I don't want to tell myself I can't do it without finding out for certain... so I will get a start on this.


      Piano. Last year's wildcard, beginning lessons in December just to test a theory - "does being able to touch type give me an advantage learning another kind of keyboard?" Initial results say "maybe", but those hour long lessons go by quite fast and I'm getting a lot of encouragement from people to stick with it. In my mind's eye I'm a guitar guy, mostly because guitars have greater potential for both being romantic and portable. But who knows? I have no delusion I'll ever be great at the thing, I'm learning for pleasure - "it's good, it's you working on you" as one workmate put it.


      Yeah, they're all pretty broad aims - "stick with this and you'll be doing ok". A couple of specifics, though -


      New job. Really, I need an exit plan. And for that perhaps a clearer idea of who I want to be and what I want to be doing.


      Journaling. We're thinking personal writing more than the site here, unfortunately. Though I will be keeping my eye on the Rooster Teeth beta a bit more closely for a while to see if the sense of community that has faded on the legacy site returns there.


      De-cluttering. What I've been doing for about three weeks now, and feel I've barely gotten started on. I've held onto a lot of things over the years, and it's like I looked at them recently and realised they are just that - things. Some are worth keeping, and some are merely being kept. Believe me, the local charity shops will be onto a winner for a few weeks. As will the local rubbish and recycling.


      Fact is, I didn't write yesterday because I was actually getting other things done, and so the year has felt like it got off to a good start. And I can only hope that feeling, as well as that momentum, keeps going.


      Let's make 2019 a winner, people!

    • Happy New Year! Pt1 - 2018 in review

      5 months ago

      FameWolf

      For those of you who have already crept into 2019, let's start by wishing you a very Happy New Year!

      But as someone watching this year creep to an end, let's just get one thing said: 2018 - thank fuck that's over.


      It's fair to say it hasn't been the greatest of years, though there are still bright points and I know I should keep sight of those too, not just dwell on the times that were hard... I mean, arguably making it through the hard times should be a positive itself, right? Right? RIGHT?!

      Hint: a lot of it is ongoing, so there's still a degree of swimming against the current, even if the waters now feel a little calmer.


      This year has been marked by three things:


      My job ending. This was a prolonged experience, working progressively harder and harder for the end goal of becoming redundant... and the team at work did so because we feel it's a job worth doing right. It's never been a fantastic job, but it's always been a fantastic team, and on the days that I'd wake up not wanting to handle notes or clinic pulls or phone calls from confused ward clerks... it'd still be easy to go into a workplace fueled by sugar and bad jokes (and occasional outbreaks of dancing).


      I stuck with the job because I enjoyed working with that team. The team got broken up.


      To be fair, the whole process feels like it can be held up as an example of how not to shut down a department - decisions often being outdated in 24 hours, people getting offered redundancy who didn't want it, people being pressured into other job roles when they wanted redundancy, occasional attempts by management to encourage people to compete with each other for other roles (which didn't work - the team was too strong as a team).


      For my part, I ended up in another job role still at the hospital, along with two other members of my department; though I only found I'd got the job a week before the final redundancy deadline (first week of December). And... my word, this is slow paced. And inactive. And dull. I've got a job, and I'm grateful for that, but the next step feels like it should be *shout "So long suckers!", pull parachute cord and exit dramatically*


      It has been physically and emotionally draining. So having a degree of calm to head home to is good... oh, wait.


      My dad's ongoing health problems. Yeah, he's 84 now, and while I am gratefully for him always being around, little by little he is less mentally present. His memory is getting sketchy, his kidneys are getting worse, his balance is just not quite what it was (only a fortnight ago he had a fall, which was worrying but mercifully not serious. But within 24 hours he was mis-remembering what had happened to cause the discomfort, and that was far more worrying)

      I am grateful for every year... hell with it, every day I'm getting to enjoy his company, especially with his age and how several of my friends lost parents this year at younger ages. I'm willing to do my part, as we've long passed the point where I need to be the adult looking after my parents, taking on jobs and responsibilities. I'm happy to do this, I know it cannot repay them for everything they did being the adults during my childhood to get me to this point...

      ... but it is also emotionally exhausting. And bouncing between this at home and anxiety at work was hard. I had a few evenings where I just sat and wept. It's one thing to be strong for other people, it's another to actually be strong, and I didn't feel strong, which had to come out somehow.


      Oh yeah, and I turned 40 in the summer. I am officially old, or something.


      I said at the start of the year that I wanted to be healthier turning 40 than I was turning 30. Truth be told, I ended up likely healthier than I was turning 20 - I exercised. I ate better. I drank this "water" thing I'd heard about. There's the idea that change doesn't come from a decision, it comes from an adjustment in lifestyle, and my lifestyle definitely changed for the better. Yes, I've slipped back a bit since, but not excessively so. I'm still in decent health, and generally maintaining it even if I'm not improving it more right now.


      Plus, turning 40 was a very positive thing - it was a wonderful day at work, thanks to the people there celebrating it with me. Do I feel like I should be at a different place in my life having hit this age? Yes. But there are still these good things to keep me grateful for where I am too.


      Anything else? I got back in touch with Glod from the site here; we went old school, and are exchanging semi-regular emails and monthly short stories, something that has re-ignited a passion for writing that had begun to fade.


      I took an unexpected side turn in looking at Unity later in the year, and am wondering if all the games playing and games journalism I've done over the years might be directing me towards actually trying to make one.


      I started having piano lessons in December, and... will I see this as anything more than a hobby? Probably not. But it is curiously satisfying, and has been a pleasant outlet to a lot of pressures.


      It's a year that has been coloured by a few, huge negative things. But there are plenty of bright flecks in there too, shining colours that may not cover enough of the year's canvas but still stand out and can't be ignored.


      Perhaps the best summary is as follows: it feels like the worst of 2018 had passed before the end of 2018 arrived, and 2019 will likely begin moving onwards and upwards again. And thank goodness for that.


      See you all on the other side.

    • Happy New Year! Pt2 - 2018 Preparation

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - Happy New Year! Pt1 - 2017 In Review; posted 31/12/2017]

      So here we are, already a day into the new year. Sounds like it's still in good time to make those positive wishes again - to everyone reading this I wish you Happy New Year!


      (Truth be told, I don't even know who might be reading this - certainly, the people filling my friends list have left the site a long time ago, with the exception of a few who do drive-by visits every few months or years)


      Ok, so we've done the whole "looking backwards" thing; let's see what we want to find ahead instead. Oh, and just as a reminder - there are still no resolutions! Things that need doing need doing, not just an arbitrary attempt because of the calendar.


      Ok, so what might the year ahead involve?

      Well, the odds are good that the job I'm in won't exist this time next year... yes, I know this statement was also valid this point last year, though - for technical reasons that would involve explaining the structure of everything at work - it seems considerably more likely this time around. There is a sense of doom hanging over the place, and I'm using it as motivation to get a move on, to get away from there and into something else.


      I also have to take into account the health of my parents; my dad especially. I'm not just making decisions for myself, when I might need to start covering more roles at home - his health is not what it was, and never will be again. It's a horrible realisation, that day you can look at your parents and think "they're getting old", because they normally feel like an unchanging constant in life. When there is a change... it's grim to think about, but the realist in me acknowledges I need to.


      Oh yeah, and I turn 40 in the summer. Fuck - I'm getting old too.


      Enough worrying - be positive. What to do about it:

      Let's do the "mind, body, spirit" thing. It makes breaking them down easier.


      *sigh* Mind, then:


      There are skills I don't have, and I have time to learn them. Web design is probably one of the better ones, as it feels so easy compared to the programming I studied so many years ago, and is feasible to be something that is actually employable in the market right now. Plus, I really do think I could build a better website than the one I write for - at the very least, I can see what a better website should be, and it's not fair to just assume someone else will make it happen.


      And regarding the website... fact is, my degree is in journalism, and I enjoy writing. Web design might be an interesting branch to follow that helps put words out there for people to see, but it's the words themselves that are of interest to me. Now, every time I seem to get started writing these days I get derailed - working overtime, worrying about parents' health, nearly falling asleep at keyboard, getting caught up gaming with friends... A while ago, a friend here on the site linked me to a site that pays for articles, and I still keep that in mind - though I feel my writing needs practice again, to get ideas down in interesting ways and to have cohesive thoughts. Simply put, I need to keep writing. I need to do personal writing, I need to do published writing, I need to scribble private notes...


      ... these are all things I used to do, and are all things I still can. The site here has always have the journal space inviting me, and I did get a start writing again late last year (there is a reason I stopped too, but I'll have to explain that later, if at all). And the other site is good for keeping practicing with published pieces again (I've also got a press pass lined up for Rezzed again this year... roll on interviews, I hope).


      I can do this. I can.


      Ok, body:


      Maybe it's vain - ok, it is vain - but I like the idea of being able to take off my shirt and have the sort of physique that makes people (or my girlfriend at least) go "wow". I don't mean a muscular, super-cut look, just healthy and toned. It'd be even nicer to be like that by my birthday - to turn 40 in better shape than I was at 30. And it's not impossible, it just needs the time put into it like everything else. 


      I mean, my cardio is terrible and my lungs need to work harder, and I've never been good holding exercise routines for long, and I don't drink enough water, and I eat badly, and...


      ... I cannot complain about this, because the fact is I know what I need to do to improve it, and if it doesn't happen then it's all on me. It's easy to be unhealthy, but I've also proven to myself that I can do better - I have the ability to be stricter with myself, and if I have a goal then it should be easier to be strict.


      There is probably one overall thing that is effecting my abilities - both physical and mental - and that is not getting enough sleep. My overall routine is terrible, and I can't shake the feeling that I'll do a lot better in everything else if I can get more than about five hours sleep a night. It sounds childish, but I need to set myself a bedtime. More sleep, more mental focus, more good decisions. I hope. I really, really hope.


      And then the spirit:


      Some things just need to be done for the sake of making us happier. I dug my guitar out the other day and tuned it, the first time I've touched the thing in years. I never learned to play it properly, and the little I knew I've forgotten. But I've left it out, looking at me - in the way a musical instrument can, because once you've started getting sounds out of them they do feel a little bit alive - and expect I'll feel considerably more content if I just sit and get more comfortable with it, learning a few chords or something... even if it's just a few minutes here and there. I'm not looking to perform, just to enjoy it. It's there when I need it, and it's probably the sort of thing I've needed for quite a while.


      Because it's either that, or drawing - something else I've not done for years. Not that it's easy to find the free space for something like that right now.


      Oh, and brings me to the last thing - to tidy. Right now you'd struggle to find a usable flat surface around me, as everything is filled with clutter. I've always been a believer that a busy room causes a busy mind - that is, it's not somewhere you can relax. I really need to do something about this, even if it's little-by-little working around the place. I need a calm space, and I don't have one. I need a place the feels like a home, rather than somewhere utilitarian to come and sleep when I'm simply not at work, and I don't really have that either.


      And there's the thing - this journal might sound like me bitching about myself, but the fact is simple: I know what I need to do to make things better, I have the time, and I refuse to complain when in truth I am the master of my own destiny right now.


      2018, huh? Here we go.

    • Happy New Year! Pt1 - 2017 in review

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - Merry Christmas!; posted 25/12/2017]


      The clock is ticking away on what remains of 2017, the Australians I know are posting how they're arrived successfully in the future, and it's time for my annual reflection on how my year has been. But let's start with the important bit:


      Happy New Year! I hope 2018 offers happiness, offers success, and offers a sense of peace and calm that feels like it has been lacking from the world at large.


      So, let's do the breakdown...


      What I have achieved:

      Well, uh... 


      Ok, truth is I could almost do a copy-paste of last year's pieces both for the In Review and In Preparation journals. At this point last year I was worrying about my dad's health and working with the threat of my job being obsolete by the middle of the year, kicking myself for not keeping up with my writing where I've let it lapse due to overtime and concern for those around me. Twelve months later, and as I sit and write this it's genuinely worrying to see how little has changed. Like... surely I should have something to adjust, right? A little, I guess.


      In terms of being pro-active... well, I applied for a different job (more pay, closer to home, probably less pressure even if I might fight that boring) and got a "thanks, but no thanks" type of reply; I sat and brushed up on my basic web design skills - though I can't pat myself on the back here, as I want to press further into JavaScript, PHP, MySQL and the like, and simply haven't. But it's still progress, even as a smaller step that I should claim as success.


      Thing is, I still do occasional unpaid pieces for the games website, but I look at the site itself and think I could do better. Except I can't, yet. At the moment I'm writing this, there are books on all the web design skills I need within three feet of me. The fact that it's not happening? That has got to be all on me, a lack of time management, a willingness to prevaricate, and a habit of getting sidetracked with other concerns - even if those concerns can be literal and legitimate.


      One other thing - I did start jogging again in the summer, though it was clearly a shock to my system as I've spent more time recovering from injuries since then than I have actually jogging. My cardio keeps getting better, then slipping back again as I take a break to heal something, and it's only the activity of my job that is stopping me from gaining weight (proven during the summer by helping at another hospital for six weeks; it was a desk job, and I expanded a belt notch in that time. I'm back at my usual place again, and have regained both that notch and a sense of awareness of my health). But I went out jogging again this morning... it was important to go today rather than tomorrow, a reminder that this is something I need to do constantly, not just as a "New Year thing". 


      It was 5:30am. I hate myself so much right now. I need to make sure I do it again tomorrow.


      I usually break down year goals as "mind, body, spirit". And those cover the "mind" and "body" parts, albeit disappointingly. So, spirit? Better here, actually. I've been reading more again, catching up on the books and magazines littering the place in the hope of getting my attention. There is more to read - there is always more to read - but letting other people's words into my head is as satisfying as ever. And on the subject of other people's words...


      I've been having some great conversations with friends this year. I've never worried too much about talking to friends regarding my emotions, or opinions, or what I see as personal shortcomings (which when I talk about them I acknowledge as being things only I can do anything about too). I seem to have broken down the personal barrier regarding talking about sex this year though, and have had some extremely frank conversations, with one friend in particular standing out as giving back to the conversation just as frankly. Sometimes it takes that other insight, sometimes it settles a sense of curiosity about something you don't ask because it is socially taboo, sometimes it takes being asked your opinion on something you don't know you have an opinion about... sometimes it just takes a conversation without limits to realise that good friendship doesn't have limits too.


      It cannot be overstated how much emotional calm comes from a good conversation, and knowing the conversation can spread widely in turn lets the calm cover more of you.


      I have great friends, and I enter 2018 grateful for that.


      See you on the other side of that number changing.

    • Merry Christmas!

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - Working At Being A Friend; posted... uh... November? I've just realised how hard it is to find posting dates on things with the site as it is currently.]


      Another festive season rolls around, and we celebrate it with all we have. Whether the year has given us plenty, or taken away, I hope today is a day to enjoy with those closest to you.


      Merry Christmas, everyone.

    • Working at being a friend

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - A Human Among Humans; posted 10/11/2017]


      So no - I didn't write the last couple of days. And I had one of those "should I feel guilty?" thoughts, but ultimately the answer there needs to be "no" as well. Partly, it's about maintaining that line between something to enjoy doing and simply being a chore; partly it's just because the weekend was a) busy; b) recovering from a cold; c) a different routine to the weekday 9 - 5.


      Ok, part of that is true. I am definitely a creature of habit - it's easier to set aside time to write than it is to just say "I'll write at some point today". And weekends do break my routine. And I did have to shake off a cold Saturday - colds tend to last hours with me rather than days, so it was a matter of feeling rough early in the day, being fine by evening. And being busy... yeah, maybe not so much.


      Mostly it's down to my friend Michael saying "let's play some Mass Effect: Andromeda." This is rarely a half hour session, as our Mass Effect 3 multiplayer sessions occasionally ran twelve hours or so. Andromeda didn't get the same amount of love in reviews, and I have to agree for the single-player. I put in a lot of hours to the originals, got the max gamerscore on the 360 for all three titles. With Andromeda I started, and hit a point where "I'll come back later" felt more compelling than "I'll play when I can". The multiplayer, however, is solid, and when you've got someone to buddy up with it's a strong argument for playing when the option is there, doubly so when the teammate has recently got a real job (as compared to NHS admin) and so has less time to play anything these days.


      I've always approached workmates at arms length in terms of friendship. On the one hand, they're people you spend more of your time with than your family; on the other hand, you don't choose them, you get assigned them by job role. I've never understood people who have drama at work, picking grievances and getting into disputes, because if you do the job then... well, you're done, you can go home to families and partners and night's out with friends and whatever else you choose to do with your time. If you're lucky, you'll get on well with people, have banter and generally find the days pass faster... but that's not the same as having friends there.


      That said, when someone who basically spends their life playing games (i.e. me) ends up working with someone else who pretty much spends their life playing games, the conversation stops being "have you seen this file?" and becomes "so, does an eight hour Battlefield 4 session sound like a good idea?" (hint: yes, it did)


      Workmates are not friends. But it's great when they are.



      (p.s. ironically, the friend who gave me a push to start writing again recently was another friend who is an ex-workmate; this was at a meetup with another mutual friend/ex-workmate, that was meant to have at least one other friend/ex-workmate there.


      That contradiction probably says a lot about me - for all the talk about not confusing workmates with friends, I seem to have a lot of friends who are, or rather were, workmates. I hope it's a sign of being selective, keeping close a few who've filtered through that barrier I put in place to keep the two separate.)


    • A human among humans

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - Love-Hating Work; posted 8/11/2017]


      A random person made a random joke with me today, which sadly failed to make an impression as I didn't get it. The atmosphere was a touch dampened by embarrassment after that, and I'm still puzzling what it was I didn't get... I wonder if he's still dwelling on that stupid hairy guy pushing a trolley that didn't understand something obvious? Unlikely, as he'd also asked directions to a ward, so was likely visiting someone in poor condition - there are definitely more important things to be thinking about.


      Failed humour notwithstanding, I love how people interact with each other. This is London, where walking down the street causes little ripples in people's days where we have to avoid crossing paths, reading a stranger's body language to work out where they're heading, and making my own a little more expressive for the same reason. I love having a stranger sit next to me on a crowded bus and pretend I'm not there, much as I do to them... it's just understood as how you do these things, and it's communicated entirely as a form of non-communication. I guess it's the presence of other people, where having others around is a reassurance, even if you don't actually need them around.


      Years ago, when I was a lot more into spirituality than I am now, I used to sit on the bus home from work, close my eyes, and try to feel the presence of everyone else on the bus, with variable results. It's telling that when meeting up with friends last Friday night, one of our group said she could happily go and engage in conversation with random strangers there - or elsewhere on other nights out - as she picked up on the energy of the groups. I couldn't.


      I was focused on the direct actions I could see with my own eyes - the man who looked up for a fight then greeting a new arrival with a fist clasp; the young group looking like uni friends on a night out, expressing themselves with big gestures that left paper napkins on the floor; the woman whose outcry made me look around in alarm until I saw she was laughing instead... people living lives I'm not a part of. Observing them directly is tiring though, and while I love small amounts of interaction, I just get overwhelmed in large groups.


      But there's that threshold point, where people are in smaller groups, or where a little extra communication is allowed - a greeting (how late in the morning is it too late to say "good morning" to a stranger? I'm thinking 8:30am, based on strolls along the main hospital corridor); thanks for a door being held open (I step through and hold, turning around as I do so trying to make the whole pivot look as graceful as possible, even if grace isn't something that comes naturally to me. But it's a little extra effort, hoping to make a random stranger feel they're worth that little extra effort); offering help to someone who looks lost (the hardest one - how to offer help without making someone feel helpless? Especially, as a hospital is a building that basically channels feelings of helplessness).


      I think I've still got a little piece of a performer in me, that kid who wanted to be on stage in the primary school plays, and later raise awkward questions during lectures at uni. It's probably the piece of a performer that wants me to find my expressiveness in writing again, enjoying the idea of putting words into people's minds, hoping for words that mean something, wanting to see words coming back in reply, and hoping the sum total of all of those words is approval.


      But mostly I just like the buzz of energy that comes from being in contact with people, feeling us make a small impression on each other's days. I really wish I'd understood the joke.

    • Love-hating work

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - "Peter, Please - Write Something!"; posted 7/11/2017]


      I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with my job, but it feels most of the time like the "love" part of this is unreciprocated. I'm still in an admin role with the NHS, and naturally being in a super-large, super-bureaucratic organisation can be comedy gold... occasionally, very dark comedy though.


      There are plenty of things to love, if you want to do a job that feels like it can make a positive difference to people's lives; though mostly I like the group of people I work with, who are on the whole a mixed bag of eccentrics that can still get their heads down when a problem needs sorting. The days can be filled with moments where you'll see someone greeting all the pigeons outside by names they've assigned them in recent weeks and months; or being given random pieces of fruit by a lady whose laugh is regularly used and can be heard from the far side of the car park; or by hearing someone who likes to sing along to the radio but has no idea of the lyrics to any of the songs...


      I guess it's a form of pressure release. I recognise that the front line staff - the nurses and doctors and consultants and specialists and so on and so forth - are the ones that get the real life-or-death pressure in their days; but some of that does feed through, and even in admin roles there are times we have to face grim news, or work frantically to make sure things keep running smoothly for others, or just face a day in the knowledge that we tend to care a lot about keeping the whole thing working in a way that it seems like those at the top of the ladder don't. It often feels like the people paid the least are the ones who care the most.


      So we care. We work hard. We do everything we can to keep things moving, trying to compensate for resources of dubious quality and quantity, while ticking enough boxes to satisfy bureaucracy while not losing too much time to it. Naturally, we have recently been rewarded with news that our jobs will likely be gone this time next year. Again.


      Normally, a warning of potential job loss would be met with panic. Here? It's a shrug. In the five-and-a-half years I've worked there, I've had five managers, and I've been told my job is at imminent risk three times. Or four. I've lost count - that how blasé I've become to it all. The sad truth is that we've heard this before, even though every part of me is saying "take it seriously this time!". Because this time it does look more likely that it'll come to an end. And I respond by going to work every day, and working hard to keep my small piece of the system running smoothly, the same as every other day for the last few years.


      But it's the proverbial long walk on a short pier, and I know I must look at other routes to wander along. This is where the need for writing has come from, me wanting to get a feel for my writing style again - hell, to find a writing style, with the one I had a decade ago buried in a heap of passed time and shed angst*. Maybe it's a detour, maybe not - I did get a degree in journalism after all, and while my history in print isn't any more impressive than a handful of freelance pieces, it's something to look back on with pride and forward to with hope.


      And maybe it's a job to take not because it's easy, one not to stick with because it's comfortable. Because I might have a love-hate relationship with the current place I'm at, but I'll also be the first to admit it's something I've fallen into rather than run towards. That's the problem with going where the flow of the river takes you - it means you need a lot more energy to swim back again. I've got a few months head start to get swimming though, and am holding onto that bit of hope.



      * = I used to write so easily when I was unhappy, or unsure about myself. Words flowed, and not just depressed ones... expression and emotion are so closely tied, I guess. Now, I have a better idea of who I am, who I should be, who I want to be. There isn't the same uncertainty, though something inside is also keeping the engine running in neutral because there doesn't feel like the same drive either. It's probably a good thing, though it does mean that I need to find a new written voice.

    • "Peter, please - write something!"

      1 year ago

      FameWolf

      This was the request-cum-instruction from a friend of mine last Friday night, made during one of those conversations that covers every topic from job situation through to personal comfort levels with the gender imbalance in hypothetical threesomes, as well as opinions of baklava. Though that said, it could just as easily be my inner voice screaming at me to get words and ideas out, thoughts and emotions expressed, observations and uncertainties put somewhere for later digestion.


      I have been extremely lax in writing, and having a well-intentioned response of "I know I need to get back to it" feels shallow when I tell it to myself or other people for the n'th time. Good intentions are great, right until you start using them as an unconscious way of avoiding doing things. I've been saying on the site here how much I want to get back to it. I think I say that in pretty much everything I post, repeating the same line intermittently for years now, and there comes a point where I have to realise that the only thing stopping me is simply not starting.


      That is the crux of it. Starting something is harder than keeping it going... it's like getting up early to go for a jog - the first day you have to convince yourself that 5:30am really is a time that exists, and that the duvet isn't pinning you to the mattress; two weeks later you're out without hesitation, lungs filling with cold air and feeling alive, and you tell yourself this is much better than lying in bed (though, in fairness, this is likely a different lie to tell yourself).


      This is how writing is for me - a process that comes hard to begin with, but gets easier as it goes along, though sadly less beneficial for cardio. It might sound strange trying to schedule a creative process, but that isn't exactly the point - writing something, anything, is often the key. Writing a few random words gets the mind working; doing it regularly keeps the words fresh; and when the day comes that there is that pesky thought pressing down, or an article to write, or a weird dream I want to share because why shouldn't I tell the world about those ideas my subconscious tries to keep under control?... well, at that time everything will come easily.


      I'm setting myself a challenge, to write something every day... certainly for the next week or so. If I can force those first few words out, the more shy words and ideas should become bolder and step forward.


      And if nothing else, I'll feel happier that I'm not neglecting the space this site has always given me to write, even if I've not been grateful enough to use it. That, or the next update from me will be the annual New Year ones I throw together...

    • Happy New Year! Pt2 - 2017 preparation

      2 years ago

      FameWolf

      [previous journal - Happy New Year! Pt1 - 2016 in review; posted 31/12/2016]

      I think I'll be linking like this at the beginning of journals for a while - hoping that I keep them coming, of course. While the site is in its current "pending" state, I hate how clicking an alert for someone takes you to their latest journal with no navigation to see if they'd posted anything else since I last checked, while simultaneously clearing their alerts. On the other hand, if this is just me having a specific quirk... well, just say so.


      Anyway, there is a whole new year opening up before us! What do I want to make of it? Well, for starters:


      Sticking with the "no resolutions" thing


      Maybe that sounds counter-intuitive when looking at the year ahead, but it's stood well for the last couple of years, since a friend explained how resolutions tend to make us feel bad about not doing things rather than good for doing them. It's not that I don't have goals; just that I don't want to tell myself that I'm a failure for hitting a particular bar. Better to keep moving forwards, and feeling positive for doing so.


      Fine, so goals then


      Well, as mentioned before my job is at serious risk of simply not existing beyond the middle of next year. But the difference between a risk and an opportunity can simply be how positively you see the situation. I need to keep positive, but not blindly so. So, short term goals include brushing up my CV, sitting down and learning a few new skills (C# is definitely on that list, seeing if I can regain the sort of mind that found C++ so intuitive two decades ago). Let's say this covers the mind, for the start of the year at least.


      So what does the body get? I've been exercising more recently, and mean to keep it up. Nothing to make myself herculean, but a bit of yoga in the morning to stretch out, and more general exercises in the evening to strengthen myself (including work to strengthen an old ankle injury, which makes wonderful crunching noises every time it goes back into place).


      And the final part of the personal trinity, the spirit? Well... here's the weak spot I guess. Years ago I was more overtly spiritual, regularly meditating, practising reiki, going out of my way to read more mind-opening content - philosophy, academia, new age pieces... I don't feel like that person any more, although I also feel a space where it used to be that I need to fill. Reading more would be a good start, as would writing more personal content and generally finding more artistic outlets. Yeah, this is something I need to work out. Perhaps that's the goal here?


      So that's it?

      Not really. The last few months have made me crushingly aware of just how much my parents are ageing, and I know I've got to take up more of the reigns at home. The few days I've had off of work over Christmas and the New Year have already seen the start of this - the house has been in steady decline for a long time, and being here for a few days let me see just how much effort things are taking them to maintain. Simply put, they're getting old and they need help. My holiday has been punctuated with me cleaning the fridge for the first time in months, cleaning the cooker hood for the first time in years, finding a toaster buried under a layer of grease, and so on... I'm going to have to keep this up, picking things that need doing and giving them a big hit initially so it just takes a little maintenance later. And managing this around six day working weeks.


      That, and keeping an eye on their health, though as mentioned before they both seem to have either levelled or improved in the later part of last year. But it's still a worry, still something to observe...


      ...


      ... I don't know what will make 2017 feel like a success. There is a degree of trepidation about how it'll all go, because I am a natural worrier. I just plan on keeping moving forward, keeping my head up, and keeping as positive as I can.


      Bring it on, I guess.

  • Comments (2369)

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      3 years ago

      Happy Birthday Peter! :

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        2 years ago

        Thank you Dom. I'm logging back in here this evening, feel like I need to blow the dust off and start using the site again... and it's nice to log in and find something from a friend waiting for me, even if I did miss it for the last month.

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      4 years ago

      Happy thanksgiving Peter! smiley0.gif

    • LorD_BaZ FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      5 years ago

      I never actually lost my job, I've always had that. Mostly just newbie managers not rostering me means I can't prove my "Reliability" to real estate agents. They've got such a death grip on the market here, it's retarded.
      Seriously, their metric is "four times the weekly rent is a good indicator"
      Seems reasonable... until you realise $300AU per week gets you a dump with no features, and $1200AU per week is APS-4/5 wages. (Australian Public Service)(Has 6 levels, APS 6 is top before EL1 (Executive Level)

      No public servant is going to lower themselves down, they all go for the next level up...
      And half of those apartments are empty anyway!

      Oh, and they have the audacity to ask the local government for haand-outs becausethe "Market" is in a slump.

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      6 years ago

      Happy Birthday Peter! smiley0.gif

      Balloons!...
      158330d1358728117-happy-birthday-wolfdio

      No no no! Bad birthday wolves! Bad.
      God damn it...


      Have a merry celebration. smiley8.gif

      Post edited 6/20/13 8:17AM

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        5 years ago

        Thank you Dom!

        Sorry it took so long to getting around to replying - the site seems a little "wobbly" during the last week, so whenever I came to check this message it was offline, and when it was online either I was distracted or not able to come on and write...

        But it was indeed a good day - only spent at work, but sunny and filled with a lot of friends all stopping to get in touch, which could only make things better. No balloon wolves though - at least, so I thought until now...

    • noirakita

      6 years ago

      Hello!
      I have returned, pretty much for good! Sending this comment to any friends who have been here a month or less. Hope to catch up with you soon!
      -noira

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        6 years ago

        And welcome back! I did see the journal you posted, but my posting on the site recently has been slightly delayed by life being very, very busy... I need to have a good, long, uninterrupted session on here.

        I am glad to see how good life has been for you in the last year since posting (I've seen updates on FB too, though since they changed updates there to only show for some people some of the time it became useless in my opinion) - I look forward to properly catching up.

        By the way, the timer on the site isn't completely accurate - if people never actually log out, it's possible to use the site every day and still have last signed in months ago... I think my personal record was about five months!

    • Nudge1

      6 years ago

      Teh boo! smiley8.gif

      How're you doing? Long time no chat.

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      6 years ago

      No no no!

      You can't just stop there! smiley7.gif
      Peter if you make that a short story I'll find you. smiley5.gif

      A few more details around colors, smells and the like and you have a perfect introduction. The survivor needs a name of course, but this is far too divergent to leave as is.

      A very I am legend feel about it. I could just imagine this Adam of the baron world running into the pale rider waiting for a green light/ father time playing speed chess alone etc. smiley0.gif

      • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

        6 years ago

        You had better it's one of my top three favorite books.
        The dog dieing was the first time I actually cried reading a book. smiley1.gif

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        6 years ago

        ... actually, the one thing the survivor does not need is a name (and there is a reason for that; but this is only the bones of an prologue, and the reason would be relevant later). The reason this is a prologue rather than a first chapter is because this section is deliberately different to what follows - for starters, by having another person there. I think I want to rephrase his apology to the dead family too so that there are consistently no quote marks in this section, though that'll change later... along with my spin on being "alone".

        By the way, if by an I Am Legend feel you're referring to the book, I'll take that as something positive. Though this will go in a totally different direction to surviving than Matheson's book.

    • LorD_BaZ FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Yeah. Much less money needed to put aside for expenses means that I'm not poor, but money never really was the issue.

      As for why, well I knew the lease at the place I was staying was temporary, but never could get around to finding another place and just ran out of time.

      I'm putting together a convincing portfolio for the real estate though. So yeah, I'm confident.

    • bernardblack

      7 years ago

      yeah, it turns out that they look pretty much the same as each other, on reflection they also have similar personalities. Im not going there for the resemblance or anything, its just a strange coincidence...

    • Chi_Mangetsu

      7 years ago

      Thank you for the great comment!

    • Stonesword

      7 years ago

      Still haven't seen Iron Man 2, I'm hoping this weekend.

    • Glod

      7 years ago

      I think I was using safari since it won't let me mod anything on the app. Or possibly the app, because safari had just spazzed and shut down on me. You expect me to remember this kind of thing? I can't remember what I ate for breakfast!

      You'll be pleased to know that my memory improves exponentially when it comes to biology. smiley6.gif

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      You're welcome. I'm a little surprised they got out so quickly, actually, I got the late post so I expected them to arrive on Saturday at the earliest.

      Well I'm not really one for Christmas but this is a holiday I can get behind, it has dragons! smiley8.gif

      Thank you kinly. I'm fairly sure this year's element is water too, thus the tranquillity and all the blue. and yes, that is my lovely Canon printer-scanner machine.

      Again, you're welcome, I'm glad you like it.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Hey, Peter, how are things?
      Also, do you want a new year card?

      • DocRossim

        7 years ago

        Oh, well I'm sure it'll come back to you.

        Ah, I was not aware of that, I thought it was different regions of India.

        I too fail at language, I have been attempting to learn some conversational Swedish lately but so far not so good. Maybe I should just practice more...

        Anyway, good luck with the job-hunting, linguistic expansion and... stuff.

        Take care,
        Best wishes,
        - Ross.

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        Well, my Mandarin has lapsed a lot - I'm digging out my exercise books to pretty much start at the beginning again. Obviously refreshing what I knew is faster than learning from scratch, but as things stand I probably wouldn't have been able to come up with a greeting in Chinese... but give it a little while, and hopefully that ability will be back.

        Regarding Urdu, it is a bit of all of those (though Urdu is the language of Pakistan rather than India; that said, there are close enough parallels between Urdu and Hindi that one can help you with the other, and vice versa).

        I'm not a believer that everyone should just learn English; and while my girlfriend actually speaks better English than me it doesn't seem right to just accept this as "how it is". So... I try and learn at least some Urdu, and have reinforced just how bad I am at languages.

      • DocRossim

        7 years ago

        Drop me your address in a private message and I'll get one to you.

        I know what you mean when it comes to slow, I think it's this time of year. Right now I'm waiting around for some things to come back from planning, but I still don't seem to be catching up on my commissions and gift art.

        I didn't know you spoke Mandarin. Shame, I could have asked you about a nice little Chinese New Year greeting to put on these cards. Ah well, they're printed now. Good luck with the Urdu. Are you learning for the benefit of your girlfriend, planning on a trip to India, or just learning for the fun of it?

        It's okay, I'm behind on EVERYone's journals right now ^_^;

        Anyway, yes, note me where to send it and I'll send you one.

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        Hi Ross. Things are... slow. I'm still looking for work, and will admit I've not written much since the start of the year either - I am my own worst enemy in that sense, and need to be more self-motivating. As well as the job hunting though, I'm starting to slip in time during the days refreshing my Mandarin/learning some Urdu. There are different reasons for them both, but hopefully they might increase my prospects (especially as I did speak Mandarin; years of non-use have let it atrophy).

        I also feel incredibly guilty at how far behind I am with your journals - you and Nef are the only two people I'm behind on, but the ones I've left run back months. It's not because I'm not interested, but the exact opposite - I want to make comments, the journals have encouraged some thought and make it when I'm able to sit and write those thoughts clearly... But as ever, they're still there for when I get that spot of time and focus.

        As for a card, that would be fantastic. I'm not sure I deserve one, given what I've just said about being so far behind, but would love to see what you're looking to send!

    • Chi_Mangetsu

      7 years ago

      Absolutist terms made for the sake of brevity with a dash of irony; quite right, too. ;)

    • Chi_Mangetsu

      7 years ago

      Sooo... Ponponpon is the Schrodinger's Cat of J-pop, is that what you're saying?

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        It's all I can think of - something that befuddling goes so far into absolute confusion that it must nigh on come out the other side into absolute sense. Though I have no idea where, or how, or for who.

        Maybe it makes sense to a cat if it was accidentally left in the box. Who knows - maybe all of quantum physics is actually cats playing with probability to make things like this video make sense, as a means of revenge for all of the hypothetical cats left with the isotopes over the years.

        Maybe.

    • Stonesword

      7 years ago

      In reply to FameWolf, #2:

      It bugged me at school when a teacher gave a talk on the positives of Christmas, and said how it showed winter was coming to an end... No it isn't! The days are getting longer, but it means we've also got three months of horrible weather ahead of us...

      -Peter


      Never heard of that before. It's just the beginning. That would be like saying summer is coming to an end on June 21st, when it's just beginning to get warmer.

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        I think it was just ignorance - someone in a position to make a mistake that no one would correct, given their position and authority in trying to educate people so they don't go out into the world making mistakes. But here we are, 16 years later, and it still bugs me. :S

    • LorD_BaZ FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Yeah. Twas indeed a good one. Rampaged through ye old melbourne town, terrorised a distant relative into buying me a gift. Good one too. Its a hardback copy of Snuff.
      Even better he's coming to my hometown in a couple days, so I'm gonna try again! :D

    • Nudge1

      7 years ago

      funny-gifs-hey-whatca-doin.gif

      :D

    • bernardblack

      7 years ago

      one red light, its out of warranty so we're getting it fixed from a local guy.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I know a few people who feel the same way right now, it's hard finding work. I'm sorry it's getting you down.

      Ooh, an album? Interesting.

      Things are okay with me, pretty busy, getting kind of behind with my work so I need to catch up, other than that, things are pretty uneventful for me.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Hi Peter, sorry it's been a while, I'll try to catch up with your journals soon. How are you?

    • Nudge1

      7 years ago

      Quick! Get a plane/ferry over here! We have a spare bed in our room for you ;)

    • Stonesword

      7 years ago

      In reply to FameWolf, #1:

      ^ Xieng Khouan, near Vientiane; a park full of Buddhist and Hindu statues.

      disappointed at the tourists taking photos of all the Buddhas. He explained it as being bad because it tries to capture a face that is ever changing (spiritually) in a single moment of time.

      -Peter


      If the statue face can change, so can the photo.

      :-)

    • Stonesword

      7 years ago

      In reply to FameWolf, #1:

      With a "K"; the deliberately (and wince-inducingly) mispelled "Mortal Kombat".

      I only played the first game... it didn't really appeal to me (I prefer Street Fighter personally), so never got to the games where Sindel here was added to the roster of characters.

      -Peter


      They seemed pretty much the same to me, and then there were all the clones,

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        They have very different feels to them, in my opinion - even between games in the same series (playing Street Fighter Alpha is similar rather than the same as Street Fighter 2, and neither is like Street Fighter 3 etc). But Mortal Kombat felt... sloppy. It was more "look! I hit him and he bleeds!" rather than "I hit him and set him up for the next move in a combination".

        I was a big one-on-one fighting game fan during the late 90s, tried a huge number of games, clones and rip-offs... and in my opinion there is a good reason why the Street Fighter series remains the leaders of the field - they are simply better games to play.

    • FoxboyPrower

      7 years ago

      I saw English breakfast and was tempted to try it. But I got earl grey instead. How is English breakfast?

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        In my opinion, it is the standard tea I compare others to. Very slightly bitter when drunk black, but pretty smooth with a bit of milk to take that edge off.

        Stopping to think about it, most teas would be drunk black; English Breakfast is one of the few exceptions. And I get through far too many cups of it a day...

    • Jalnor

      7 years ago

      I really should learn...
      Also, doesn't matter how I look in comparison - that score just looks bad on its own with all those negative numbers smiley7.gif

      • FameWolf FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        7 years ago

        I still argue you just need to fill the ranks with people worse than yourself. You can then focus on being in the top 10 etc. instead ;)

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Well it's hard to find usernames that haven't been taken these days, better to go with the obvious thing that you'll remember.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Thanks for the feedback, I think that helped, and thanks for the subscribes. Are you FameWolf on youtube too?

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I know the feeling -_- although I get time off soon... but I have lots to get done in said time. Ah well.

      Well, job market is pretty slim pickings at the moment -- I haven't looked for a while though, I should start applying to places again. My friend Hannah has been having trouble finding anything too. Still, I hope you find something suited to your skills.

      Hmm... I wonder what that could be... no big ideas for any books or anything have you?

      Good luck with the job hunting, and yes, good to keep positive. Failing that, keep caffeinated.

      Me? Oh, you know, the same really.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Hi Peter, how goes life?

    • Stonesword

      7 years ago



      In reply to FameWolf, #2:

      Well, it's Gwen from [link=http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/File:Eye_of_the_North_Retail_3D_Box.jpg], except it looks like someone has Photoshopped her from the sub-arctic background of the original and dropped her onto some ziggurats (and haven't compensated for the lighting)... You know how when you expect to see something, and don't? Strange feeling, and how I felt when I saw this!

      -Peter



      Cool.

      I thought it looked Guild War ish, but I didn't look at the box

    • Jalnor

      7 years ago

      When I was a kid, they'd come round the streets here in north London too... I can't remember having a lorry down the street in the last decade though.

      I think part of the reason for calling around like that is convenience - not everyone can carry a broken refrigerator or kitchen sink to a shop, or has a car with enough space to do so. By calling around, they are providing a service for people, saving them the cost of calling someone out, or hiring a van, or even just having to drop something into a garden to get overgrown for the next few decades.

      Also, you have moved to the area where they've been doing this for years, and are now ready to declare war on them for... continuing? :O

      -Peter


      Perhaps I should clarify. I don't so much mind them cruising about (I mean, they could surely just offer a ring-and-collect service) but rather the fact they insist on making so much noise about it. When you're shut in a room with a games console and you can't hear your XBL party because of some poorly-recorded, slurred attempt at "any old iron" being repeated among a rather badly-played bugle jingle, it's always time to declare war.

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      7 years ago

      I've added a ticket for an option of reversing the alert setup from oldest to newest

      It seems there are allot of suggestions but the unfamiliarity of the ticket system is stifling input a bit. At least compared to what the suggestion forum was producing.

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      7 years ago

      Hey Peter I've been meaning to ask someone with an extensive watchlist, so that elected you or one of the people on my friends list who haven't been on in two years.

      How does this new layout treat excessive content?
      Is there a second page or does this feed go on for ever?

      I doubt they would cut it off but it something I worry about.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      and I overslept.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I think the style of the classic Hitch Hiker's Guise inserts were just too pleasing to the eye to ever really become dated.

    • Jalnor

      7 years ago

      I don't know what worries me more - her ownership of steel handcuffs, or the thought that tribbles have wrists. confused.png


      Those are mine, actually...

    • TheNefasus FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold EtherCreeper

      7 years ago

      In reply to FameWolf, #2:

      In reply to DocRossim, #3:

      Hindsight and a hard head are often the premise for apology. smiley8.gif
      I should get business cards that say as much. smiley6.gif

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Journals: Indeed.
      Owls: Indeed.
      Cats: Heheh, nice one.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I noticed comment on my profile are restored now too. Good to have that fixed.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Ben says it should be fixed now... so let's try it!

      supercalifragelisticexpialidocious!

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I noticed that a comment I posted got cut off when I used three slashes in a row ("but general familiar terms like dude/mate/chook are fine") got cut off at the "k" of "chook" but when I edited it to say "dude, mate or chook" it was fine.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I see... Have you posted that on the bugs thread?

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      Hmm, that's odd. Comments from today and yesterday that looks truncated to me look so on both versions of the profile...
      Curiouser and Curiouser.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      I don't see any truncated comments on my philosophical question journals... are you sure it's not just hidden with a "see more" tag?

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      It all seems to be since the site went down, some of the ones I posted recently came out with half the post missing after I clicked "submit" and I've noticed some that people have left on my own profile that were whole before the site went down now have half missing. I've posted a bug report.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      "Allowed" is a very strong term... Shall we say she is both the most consistent, and the most able to get away with it. Amber has been known to call me it from time to time as a slight tease... and my girlfriend does occasionally too (when Faith heard this, she immediately declared love for her).

      This makes me smile. All of it.

      Yes, there is a sports section, it's at the bottom.

      Also, favourite games seems to have been replaced with the achievement hunter games -- hopefully that means they'll allow non-achievement games (like those on handheld games devices and some PC games as well as retro games) to be added as well as achievement games, but I'm waiting to find out.

      This comes back to my comment about free form description vs ticking boxes that are the closest description.

      Agreed. Like I said earlier, it's been about categories ever since typing a comma turned something into a click-button. We need to make the current "About Me" box into a "Banner" box and have a second "About Me" box with more word space in "The Goods" section of the profile, something that has no "clicky" bits and can just be about the things that make us tick in our own words -- and our biggest dislikes and turn offs too, our dislikes can be just as important as our likes.

      I blame Remediation

      Explain further what you mean by this.

      I did actually think that was harsh - I should have stepped in and said so

      There's no need to come to my rescue, if I feel like I'm in the right I'll say so. I've had a two page long argument with a forum mod about whether it's okay to ask for someone's Deviant Art I.D. in the art gallery thread, so if I felt like he was being harsh I would have said so myself, but I appreciate the sentiment.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      My Name: Yes, you have usually called me Ross. I actually don't mind if someone calls me "DocRossim", or "Doc Ross", but just "Doc" as a nicknames is somehow... annoying.
      I tend to think of you as Peter, I think. I call you Peter if I mention you to someone who doesn't know the site in any case. I take it only Faith is allowed to call you Wolfykins.

      Why Ross-im?: It was my Sims2.com username: Doc Ross Sim.

      Martial Arts: I would suggest that if you chose martial arts as a hobby, put which martial arts you take in the "sports" section

      Reading/Books: I suppose different people have entered books and reading depending on what they think of as the focus of the hobby? The interests are entered by users after all. I added them both so I could see a wider range of people who chose either of those interests. Also, books could be taken as seperate from reading in that someone who likes to read just reads for the content but someone who likes books specifically might be a collector or might be expressing that they prefer to read from a book than a digital version of the book.

      Comics vs. Books: I'm seeing a lot of the printed comics i.e. ones published in a paper format, being listed as books. Really I personally think there should be a section for comics, but it looks like they're getting categorised as a type of book... and since you now get digital books, isn't a web-comic just the digital version of a comic book? Some of them are already being printed as books too -- Two Kinds, Sequential Art, -- I've even seen some in bookshops, such as The Dreamland Chronicles (an adventure comic made with computer graphics) and Cyanide and Happiness.

      I've promised to shut up about interests for a bit on the suggestions thread, and I doubt we're going to get a dedicated comics section, so I guess I'll just add any comics to the books section, but I might wait a while to do so just in case we do get an extra section.

    • DocRossim

      7 years ago

      You know, if there's one thing this new interest layout has shown me, it's that I watch far too much television and I don't read enough variety of books.

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