Gaffi Gaff

Not Specified
from Cincinnati, OH

  • Activity

    • 3 years ago

      Gaffi
    • 4 years ago

      Gaffi
    • Changes/Strength

      4 years ago

      Gaffi

      Hellooooo, fellows!

      I have not made a journal in ages. A lot has changed in the past year.
      Where to begin:

      I was dating someone for 6 years. He was in the military, a high school sweet heart, and we both made each other very happy. However, after he completed his contract, things changed. He changed and I changed. It became ugly. Something a relationship with another person should never be. We both were very unhappy and it only got worse day after day. I began to shut down mentally because I couldn't handle it. There would be anger, I'd shut down. Guilt trips, I'd shut down. The same, stupid petty arguments that made me feel like I was walking on egg shells no matter what. I would be called a "robot" and chewed out for it because I wouldn't react to something said.
      I began to think of excuses just to avoid hanging out with him because almost every time we did, there would be a fight and I would end up feeling small. Finally, I wouldn't bother arguing back. Just sit there and take it because I found there was no point, no reasoning. I felt small for a long time, and powerless over myself. But I still loved him and it wasn't ALWAYS bad, so I could never bring myself to walk away. Then one night, there was a fight that got so bad, my family pulled me aside and told me to truly reevaluate things because what we had going on was turning into hate, slowly. And if they even hear something like that again, hes not allowed one foot on our property again. I was in denial. I cried because I felt stuck.
      I loved him, but we both were beginning to resent one another. Then, things changed once I began to open up to others about what'd been going on. I spoke to one of the techs at work, a very kind and gentle soul, and once I gradually began to open up more and more, things were becoming more clear. She opened up to me about a similar experience with an important person in her life. I went back to see my therapist, whom I've been seeing since I was a young teenager. After much denial again and again, I finally asked her "What dynamic do he and I have?" And she said "emotionally abusive." Even then, I couldn't accept that. He is such a wonderful person, but he developed serious anger issues while in service, ones that he did not know how to properly handle. So I became the outlet for him.
      I mulled over the prospect again and again, until finally I accepted it.
      "Don't settle." "People 'stick it out' for the kids, which you don't have." "You make excuses for him."
      "As soon as he came over, your attitude completely changed." "You both need to grow up."
      In March, I knew it was going to happen soon. I began to prepare myself for it. I let my grieving begin.
      At the beginning of April, it was like I was subconsciously setting the stage. Looking back, I think I knew I was ready. So the Saturday before my birthday, he wanted to hang out, I told him to hold on because I was waiting for someone to get back to me on something, which was a lie because I just wanted to spend time with my brother that day. Hours went by, he asked again. I lied again. At 8pm, he sent a rightfully annoyed text to me, followed up with the idea of breaking up. It wasn't the first time he brought up breaking up, but I would normally respond with "We can work on it."
      I didn't that time. I just said, "ok." He called me, we got emotional, and then finally it was done. I cried for the next several days. I had so many things of him around my house: pictures, gifts, letters from when he was in Basic Training. It hurt a lot. A week later, I began to move forward. I figured it didn't take too long to get over the depression phase because I began my grieving process long before we actually broke up.

      And here I am now. It's been over 2 months. The Veterinary Technology program started for me over a week ago, something I've been working towards for along time. I have changed a lot. My friends, family, and co workers noticed how I am not that timid or nervous anymore. I am relaxed. And truthfully, I am very happy!
      I feel liberated and more like myself again. He and I aren't on bad terms. I needed my time away from him and I'm keeping contact at a minimum right now. I want the best for him and I want the best for me. Right now, I do not believe either of us fit that description for one another. "Moving Forward."

      I have a lot going for me and I am excited to say that I will also be at RTX this summer! I got SOOOOO God damn lucky with how my school schedule turned out. The summer semester ends right before the RTX weekend. FUGGIN STOKED! I will see you lovely bastards there!

      Thanks so much if you've read this far. It took a lot for me to open up about that story, but I'm glad I did nonetheless.

      See you!

      -Gaff smiley12.gif

    • First Cosplay/Halloweening it Up!

      4 years ago

      Gaffi

      I was a bit nervous sharing this because it's not quite perfect. However, I wanted to give a little bit of Gaff after not being around the community for awhile.

      I had always dressed up as a character for Halloween. Be it Belle from Disney or the bloke from V for Vendetta. Indeed, I have kept those as simple as just putting on a dress, shirt, robe, make up, or mask. (Pfff, who needs pants? Amiright?!) However, it has been a dream of mine to dress up as my favorite video game character Tifa Lockhart from FFVII, especially in her outfit from the movie Advent Children. This took a lot of modifying and some cash, within means because I do not make enough to buy all the leather needed.

      I decided this on Wednesday night and had only until Saturday night to prepare. So lo and behold, here I am:

      B0UzCibCEAAg_nv.jpg

      -The thing that may stand out to people the most is most likely the jacket. Not quite the zipper jacket Tifa has. Given that I only gave myself three days to get the materials I needed and sewing things, too, the jacket wasn't going to happen. Not perfectly anyway. So I grabbed a shirt I already owned, tucked the collar in, and tied it at my mid section.
      -Likewise, I was conflicted with the shoes. I was in need of new chucks anyway, so the timing was perfect. However, Tifa wears high tops. I'm not the biggest fan of them and I was spending $50 on the new shoes. I wanted to wear these shoes consistently after this and not just whenever I dress up. Frugality trumped things here. Damn yooooou *raises fist in the air*
      -The duster was interesting. After a lot of searching on Amazon for something similar, it hit me and I even kicked myself for not thinking of this sooner: Aprons! Thankfully those arrived here on Saturday morning. With the help of my mom, we were able to shape them with some thrifty sewing. Tifa has a little apron, you could say, with pockets on the front of her waist. Same with the back. And then there is the long duster that falls to her ankles.
      -And no worries, I had the memorial ribbon on my left bicep. ;) Hahaha, you'll just have to believe me because you can't see it, thanks to how I was standing.

      One day, I hope to have enough money to buy a lot of the material needed to make a more accurate replica. That and I'll keep honing my sewing and creativity skills.

      Anyway, that was my first cosplay. I'm very happy with how everything turned out, given the obstacles. I hope everyone else likes it, too. ^_^

      smiley12.gif

    • "Humanity?....."

      5 years ago

      Gaffi


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      "....razors."

    • Nerding All Over My Pals FFVII-style (I have tissues; no worries)

      5 years ago

      Gaffi

      I'm missing out on many RT related functions this year. So I won't be able to meet some of the lovely so and so's I've met on the site over the course of the year. I wanted to share what I've been doing with a group of buds since mid-December:

      We started a FFVII 100% completion race. However, due to my grief in not being able to attend some conventions, I decided to name the characters after my RT friends....I admit it. Haha I tried to assign roles accordingly based on personality, but some of them were for shallow reasons that were also based on looks.

      I'll start off with the main man Cloud Strife who I assigned @TDBTyler to. This is one of my shallow reasons. Cloud is a reserved and sometimes relatively cocky personality. Tyler is not. Hahaha, but they're both blond! ^_^ eh? eh? (I'm sorry)
      Cloud_Strife_art.jpg

      Barret Wallace was kinda easy. I gave him to @jamester1289 . If anyones ever held a conversation with Quirky, I bet they can see some Barret in him.
      200px-Barret-FFVIIArt.png

      Assigning who was going to be Tifa Lockhart was very difficult for me. She is my all time favorite video game character and I see a lot of her attributes in myself. However, I was reminded of something that made me save my assignment to another character. So that's when I thought @Julia would make a nice Tifa because of her caring and strong personality. :D
      Tifa_Lockhart_art.png

      I saved Aerith Gainsborough for me because of her fate. I didnt wanna deem it on my buds, so I had no problem naming her after me. In addition, Aerith is occasionally similar to me. Ahem....we both REALLY dig plants. (Get it? I'll stop.)
      Aerith_Gainsborough_from_Final_Fantasy.j

      Red XII, I had to pause for a moment and think about. Then once the answer hit me, I felt like a doof. I gave him to @TJ1023 who is more talkative than me, but is still quiet from time to time. However, when he says something, it's fabulous.
      RedXIII-FFVIIArt.png

      Although @mugsoftea is occasionally similar to Yuffie Kisaragi, I still felt silly giving her Mugsy's name. Mugsy's a passionate lady and doesn't take diddly from anyone. As a matter of fact, she was also in the running for Tifa because of that, but then I couldn't resist Yuffie's profile shot that made me think of Mugsy.
      235px-Yuffie_Kisaragi.png

      Based on his wit and know-how, I made @Jim_Survak Cait Sith.
      7caitsith3.gif

      Now THIS one was mega easy! Cid Highwind went to none other than @Darkside89X . A match made in heaven.
      newcospagesample_cidffviibig.jpg

      Last but not least, my good friend @SpartanSloth was given Vincent Valentine. Though Luis can sometimes spout random shit from his mouth out of no where, I could see no one cool enough to be Vincent.
      225px-Vincent_Valentine_art.jpg

      Thus concludes my roster. Haha Sad? Maybe. Fun? It makes for interesting times. If I could name any other characters in the game, I would have a ball with giving them to RT friends.

      Dynamite smiley12.gif

    • Happy Saint Patrick's Day <3

      5 years ago

      Gaffi

      And because I love animals and flowers, I got myself a combination of the two:

      proxy.jpg?t=HBgpaHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0cGljLmNv

      Side note: luck has certainly been on my side today because I was ready to pay for a huge-ass dental procedure this morning and the doctor decided to not charge me for the whole thing.

      .........

      b2e.gif

      Gaff is happy. smiley12.gif

    • Rollin' Around at the Speedz of Soundz!

      5 years ago

      Gaffi

      You guuuuuys,

      Bf0l6F5CIAA4aGA.jpg

      They're doing it again! Make them staaawp.

      tumblr_mqq7lcZZDv1scjl3lo1_500.gif

      I kid, I just don't like how tall Knuckles is. Everyone else, not bad.

      Though I will say, Big Red Button Entertainment are a bunch of seasoned developers. I saw a lot of early Naughty Dog employees in it. smiley12.gif So I'm sure that the people who brought us early Crash Bandicoot and Jak and Daxter will give Sonic games some redemption. smiley12.gif

    • Question and Wootz

      5 years ago

      Gaffi

      First off, WHO THE HELL MADE THIS!?

      1535601_695612060460310_1898680704_n.jpg

      I LOVE YOU smiley12.gif

      Oh and I just noticed that a couple days ago marked my one year anniversary on the site.

      Time to celebrate with sweets, tuna, and a new hat.

      tumblr_ma3a24lK3J1rwyed6.gif

      I've met so many people on here. I'm shy, but with so many welcoming personalities, I've been able to come out of my shell. I'm so happy to have met all of you and can't wait to meet more buddies. Such a wonderful place, this site. Much love, all. <3

      Now to figure out how to make the journey to RTX. smiley12.gif

    • Happy Holidays, RT

      5 years ago

      Gaffi

      As per holiday tradition. I'm in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina where the grandparents are for Christmas. I've done little so far except play FFVII on steam that my brother gifted to me as a present. However, it being the 24th, I'm way in the mood for not being a slouch today.

      Happy Holidays, RT community! All of the love for you. Here's some dinosaur pics I took at the local Festival of Lights. <3

      proxy.jpg?t=HBgpaHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0cGljLmNv

      Egg?

      proxy.jpg?t=HBgpaHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0cGljLmNv

      OR IS IT?!?!?!

      proxy.jpg?t=HBgpaHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0cGljLmNv

      smiley12.gif

  • Comments (51)

    • Julia FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold elDiablo

      4 years ago

      Hey you. You're beautiful and kind and I hope you had a fantastic birthday filled with lots of sweets and hugs. You deserve them. smiley12.gif

      • Gaffi Gaff

        4 years ago

        Julia, you never fail to make me smile. Thank you so much smiley12.gif

    • SpartanSloth

      4 years ago

      GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFF!

      Happy birthday! All the very bestest and awesomest stuff to you, homie :D

      rifsloth.gif

      Have a fantastic day!

      • SpartanSloth

        4 years ago

        Teehee :3

        I uh... was totally not trying to plant the peanut butter jelly time song into your dream...

        *Insert inception noise*

      • Gaffi Gaff

        4 years ago

        Luis! Flowers from the sloth, perfect smiley12.gif Thank you! It's a party time kind of day! Wish I had my RT family to celebrate with! <33

        tumblr_inline_mlueklCmk51rki87h.gif

        By the way, TOTALLY had a dream the other night and you were in it. Cant remember what even happened, but I was hella happy to see you. :D

    • SpartanSloth

      4 years ago

      OK, now you must admit this is a pretty kickass shower curtain. Even though they're evil and plotting to take over the world :D

      • Gaffi Gaff

        4 years ago

        That is a very kickass shower curtain...That I would like to look at....from afar...and not in the shower. haha

    • becka tniy becker

      5 years ago

      Happy Birthday, Gaffy!
      Hope you've had a fantastic day, lovely. smiley12.gif

      • Gaffi Gaff

        5 years ago

        Thank you, Becka! :D smiley12.gif

    • SpartanSloth

      5 years ago

      GAFF!

      GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF GAFF

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAFF!
      You're an amazing, kind-hearted person, and the world needs more of those, so keep that shit up. May your days be filled with joy, and may you have more cake than you can eat today. By the way, brigadeiro balls with chocolate sprinkles are a traditional birthday dish here, so... GET TO IT! :D
      53993-Avengers-happy-birthday-gif--I-i1b

      • Gaffi Gaff

        5 years ago

        Hahaha and awww, thank you, Luis!! smiley12.gifsmiley12.gif

    • DarkLuca

      5 years ago

      ok thx and do you wanna join my group its called Darkness Royals
      actually can I help the latecomer with my group and we can join together.
      we do the same things.

    • TDBTyler

      5 years ago

      You are a wittle doc! :3

      Gaffcorner.png

    • Lynxxon

      5 years ago

      Much obliged for the request! smiley13.gif

      • Gaffi Gaff

        5 years ago

        No prob! Feelin the love

    • TDBTyler

      5 years ago

      I Win :3

      Snapshot_20130927.jpg

    • supertits No Longer Super!

      5 years ago

      Thanks for the request girrrrrrrl

    • Kitsuun

      6 years ago

      Gaff! How were we not already friend on here?! And how did I not realise? D:

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Right?! That was my same reaction! All is well now though. ^_^ smiley12.gif

    • Eluviahns

      6 years ago

      What up yo thanks for the request dude, how does it feel to have one of the coolest people on the site in your friends list?

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Nubbins!! Dude!! And it feels amazing to have ya on my friends list! smiley0.gif

    • SpartanSloth

      6 years ago

      Hey Gaff,

      v5Ki6.gif

      That is all

      • SpartanSloth

        6 years ago

        Haha, no problem :D

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Ah!!! Look at the little baby! <3 Awww! ^_^ Thank you, Luis.

    • JJ FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Hey Ms Gaffigan! just wanted to say hi and say thanks for addiing me!

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Oh thanks for adding me! :D and hello!

    • mowhat83 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Ineffable

      6 years ago

      Hi. I was listening to the Latecomers podcast. I just thought I would say hello.

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Oop, my comment disappeared. And yes, please do! We're always happy to talk to people. It'll be great to see ya back on TeamSpeak one day. :)

      • mowhat83 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Ineffable

        6 years ago

        Yeah. One of these days I'll jump on to team speak again. I got on one time when I first joined the group. I just never seem to think about it.

    • Jim_Survak Ain't Nobody

      6 years ago

      Student.
      Knocking about on internets,
      Play games.
      Fix animals and make them feel better. Ho ho <3

      All good things!!

      I'm lovable.

      I'd have to agree. From the somewhat aborted LOTR movie night the worst thing you did to me in my gender bending was to rename me "Jill" - You get points for mercy.

      • Jim_Survak Ain't Nobody

        6 years ago

        Don't you give me no lip!

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        mrrrrrph -.-

      • Jim_Survak Ain't Nobody

        6 years ago

        I said gender bending was a ONE DAY special. One. Your right to gender bend me further has been revoked.

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Hahaha! It's you, Jill!!! Oh and thanks for the mercy points. ;D You can have your male name back if you want, or I can keep addressing you as female Jill. Your choice. XD

    • mugsoftea Jedi Knight

      6 years ago

      Gaff! My fav lurker. I miss everyone now cause I'm on RoosterSpeak so late. Hope all is well with you!

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Mugsy! I miss you, too! I need the Mugsy back!

    • Korrin

      6 years ago

      Thanks for adding me as a friend. :D

      • Korrin

        6 years ago

        I have more of my newer stuff one my CGhub one so here is that one to.

        kataroon.cghub.com

      • Korrin

        6 years ago

        lol okey. :) here I'll just give you the link.

        kataroon.deviantart.com

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Great! I'll definitely "watch" you on deviant art. What's your username?

      • Korrin

        6 years ago

        Thanks I just wanted to put some of my work on here so people could see my style. :3 I have a deviant art and a CGhub account that I was going to post a journal about so people could see more if they wanted. ^_^

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        And thank you! ^_^ I like your drawings, by the way. They're cute! :)

    • LaurenHewett

      6 years ago

      Thanks for accepting my friend request :D x

      • LaurenHewett

        6 years ago

        Ohhhh it does sound good :) I will watch it when I am next free and pass on what I think :)

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        I recommend it. It's basically one person from each sort of social clique was in a Saturday detention: A prep, an athlete, a criminal, a nerd, and a troubled socially awkward kid. And you watch their interactions with each other which goes from friendly to extremely hostile and vice versa. It ends with them providing an almost therapy session with each other while they explain the reasons why they're here that day. It's very funny and just brilliant. A lot more interesting than my synopsis. XD

      • LaurenHewett

        6 years ago

        I do agree with old horror films but have not seen much as usually its me watching the first 10 minutes then turning it off as I get a little bit too scared... I have always been told to watch the Breakfast Club by my friends, guessing it is good then? What is the overview of the story as none would tell me before!

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        I totally feel ya. Ahhh I watch so many. I love comedy. Nothing like a good laugh. The Breakfast Club is one of my all time favorite movies. Old horror flicks are my cup of tea, too. They're either so good that they make you feel anxious or they're so shitty that they make you laugh. :) And you?

      • LaurenHewett

        6 years ago

        I love love LOVE RPG games :D and I do love slash games too, plus some mindless killing games always make me happy! What about movies?

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        Oh lawdy lord. There's so much. I like RPG games that ranges from SO frickin MANY, shooters are fine (gotta practice though. I can initially suck sometimes. Ho ho.) And occasionally hack and slash video games, like Dynasty Warriors. I've so much love for that series. ^_^ How about you?

      • LaurenHewett

        6 years ago

        You and me both :) nice to actually be able to talk to girls who are into gaming for a change! So what gaming you in to?

      • Gaffi Gaff

        6 years ago

        No problem, girl! I enjoy new buddies! :)

  • Questions

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