GeneralHavoc

Male
from Pittsburgh, PA

  • Activity

    • Wait, what?

      6 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      WOW. So the last time I signed into here, it was back in March. Well, now it's December, and it's almost time to say goodbye to this year. Over the past few months, there's been a whirlwind of changes: we got a dog, I've gone through another depression spout; I've found out what it means to really work overtime; and felt a cold sting of "do I buy food or do I pay bills". Growing up so sucks. I'm going to be 30 in May; and I can't believe it - from both a survival standpoint and a where did the time go standpoint. I'm starting to think about going back to school for journalism or possibly even political science. I doubt it, but those are some of the thoughts in my mind right now. What I really doubt is if any of the 48 friends I've still got left on here still notice when I post - it feels like I got trapped in time alongside the Master Chief when Halo 3 ended. So many things to attend to; blah, but I ramble on. Anyway, as I'd mentioned, I've been through some depression. I think alot of it has to do with my inability to manage my life; I feel like there is just SO much out there that I want to do, that I never get started with any of it; kind of like waiting for all of the traffic lights on a mile drag to all turn green at once - it seldom happens, and if I wait for them to all turn green, I'll be sitting for a while. My plan for the new year is to reboot myself - I might be growing older, but there should always be time to do what we want in life. Thinking that if life could end any day, it just makes sense to live every day like your last, and immerse yourself in as much happiness as you can. Time to make time to play some video games, to hang out more with friends, read some books, learn to cook, maybe even write a book. The first place I'm starting? Back where it kinda began - Paintball & Halo. That's right - I'm going to start into a PT routine like my old days in the military, get my back checked totally out, and get fit again. Paintball played a huge part of that, and it's time to dust myself off and get back into the game. Same with Halo - where Halo 3 was just a K/D spread, now there's some stats. I slacked off hard with Reach, and I won't do the same for the new series. And what a better way to get back into Halo then with some good ol' RVB - Man, I can remember watching RVB poolside on a 3 day retreat in the middle of Iraq, wanting to be home. Alright, well, enough - I've gotta spread some time around! Later!

    • Where'd the Time Go?

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      I never cease to amaze myself at how sometimes I get so caught up in the whirlwind events of everyday life, that sometimes I let alot of things go. Updating this journal, for instance, is one of such things.

      With March finally being here, it marks many 10 year anniversaries in my life. The death of my father; the year I met my wife; the year I started in the military. Looking back 10 years ago, I don't think I could ever guess that where I am now is where I am now. Thinking back 10 years ago, to 2002, I can not believe just HOW many things have changed in the world. Can you remember when it was cool to be on AOL, and have a "real online" identity? OR how chatrooms ruled people's social lives, where you could just sign into a chat room and be instantly connected and talking with people about things you were actually interested in? Can you remember when FaceBook was just some random college project for college students only? Or a time when no one Tweeted, but just posted status updates on MySpace instead? My personal favorite: can you remember to a time online where you were an actual PART of a community, wherein your intelligence really showed and could either make you popular with your piers or set you as an outcast? I'm really hating how there are so many people in this world who think that their opinion truly counts towards something, and these are the people who are loud mouthed, obnoxious, and start shit just to get their own way, regardless of anyone else. Everyone is selling out to the Facebook Fad; and nowadays, if you don't speak up and start shit, you get no where. Ugh. But these are just the thoughts of a hung-over guy wrapped up in thought about how to change his own life and get ahead of the game...

      For instance, I see I have 48 friends; and at least half of them have not signed in for over a year. Truly, is there anyone left on here? Let me know...

    • 7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc
    • Teh New Yaer

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      Yeah well, it's already shaping up to be a sharp pain in the ass.

      Christmas was excellent this year. I got a metric crap-ton of cool shit, including: iPad, Fuji SLR camera, new DeWalt drill, new gold chain, Penguins tickets, a bitching new RC truck, and my one brother hand painted 12 hockey players for my hockey table in the likenesses of the Pens and Bolts, down to decals of their names and logos; plus a new lego train set and station! My wife also loved all of her expensive ass gifts too, and this Christmas has definitly been one of the best in recent memory.

      New Years eve was not as enjoyable. My two friends decided to host a party at their new apartment nearby to my home... and the evening was not so enjoyable. Not much food, just enough beer and liquor, and three major incidents marred the night. The first was my Friend's friend's brother deciding to make fun of everyone whilst drunk and trying to start shit with me, and before shit threw down, he and his left. Then my two friends who were hosting the party had an incident with a girl that they had living with them that did not go down so well and ended up with her and a friend leaving for an hour.... then comming back. The night ended with my two best friends throwing down for an unknown reason, and my one friend getting pissed off and storming out, leaving me being drunk and quite depressed that everything had occured.

      I don't quite know what this year will bring; obviously we have yet another "the world will end" shift... but other than that, things are looking up. With the new job means me still learning and at least earning enough to finally get ahead on bills. Hopefully this year I'll stick with trying to loose weight. Then there's at least two different monster truck shows that I'm definitly going to and looking foward to. I have a week of vacation at some point that I'll need to take; and things are looking decent with the ecomony seemingly starting to pick back up, so maybe my wife will finally score a decent job as well. All in all, we are still alive, and that's really all that matters when it boils down to it. I think this year it's also time to take some advice from Zombieland - Rule 37: Enjoy the Little Things.

      Hope your Christmas/Holiday and New Years were awesome!
      ~Havoc

    • Ho Ho Holidays!

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      Well gang, it's that time of year. The time when time slips by and all we do is hang out with our closest friends and family for the next two weeks, hanging out, telling stories of old, the what's what, and the what's to come. While 2011 definilty had it's ups and its downs, it will be gone before you know it. Make the most of your time with your family, and your friends, and always remember that no matter what happens, it is up to ourselves to make our lives the way we want them; and if we want to be happy, then it's time to learn an old addage one of my business management professors once said... "If something isn't working, don't worry about it, don't cry about it, just fix it." It's a simple addage that is indeed simplistic of itself, but when you realize that you have the power inside of you to make your own dreams come true - even if it means extreme sacrifice and hard work - we can accomplish whatever we set out to do.

      And finally, tonight, I want to bring up an old rant of mine. Tonight is Christmas Eve, and tomorrow is Christmas. This week is also Chanuka, and Kwanzaa. While the later two are no less important to the peoples of those beliefs, it resonates that Christmas is the main reason why many of us have a three day weekend, or have to work longer hours. It seems unfortunate to me that this year many people who don't even celebrate any type of religous holiday have more say and sway in public opinon than ever before. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that you should never let go of what YOU believe in, but never to the point where it forces someone else to changing what they believe in. Just because there's a cresh or a minora outside of a government building does not give atheists and non believers the right to bitch and moan. If you don't like it, don't look at it. Don't take it as if something is being forced down your throat, look at it in the respect that there are multiple people around you that do celebrate it. Whatever religion, faith, or belief you have, hold it dear to your own, for it is your path in life to decide. For me, that's the birth of Jesus Christ. For many of my fellow Christians and Catholics out there, remember the reason for the season. It's about family, its about happiness, its about a great deal of things.

      Merry Christmas, Happy Chuanka, and Happy Merry Kwanzaa!

      ~Havoc

    • 7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc
    • Tired......

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      Wow, November has flown by in a hurry ever since I started my new job. Life is still really hectic right now for some reason; I'm still getting adjusted to working during the week and the hours that I have to be at work; and as I begin the fifth week of my training, I realize that starting next week I might finally be flying solo on this job.... which leaves me scared. I don't feel like I'm quite yet ready to deal with people's loans by myself; I don't want to fuck that up for people. It's a huge job with a lot of responsibilities; and each time I finally gain confidence in myself about doing the job, something new pops up - like taking incomming calls instead of outgoing calls... or being told that I won't have a mentor sitting next to me in case I screw up - that gets me shaken up and nervous all over again.

      However, despite all this, my mentors, trainer, and boss have all told me I'm doing a great job and doing just fine and they feel comfortable that I can do it. ...so why the hell don't I feel like that?! I guess I still feel a great pressure riding my back; knowing that I must do good at this job to continue doing the job in order to pay all my bills and take care of my wife. Sometimes, and I've even been told this by my closest friends, that I just am too hard on myself and demand too much of myself and set myself to some abnormally high standard that I just put myself into anxiety and worry over when the reality is I'm doing just fine.....

      So yeah, with all that said, I am TIRED! I just want to sleep when I get home. Blarg! I wanna play all these video games I've bought when I worked at Gamestop and never played; I wanna work on my RC stuff; read books and manga and watch my DVR'd shows... but idk. I get all stupid and worry that I need to make sure everything is in check before I allow myself to calm down. This sucks.

      Anybody got any advice? I'd be glad to hear it! And how are all my peeps doing?! Talk to you later,
      ~Havoc

    • TURKEY DAY!

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      LOLZ HAPPY BELATED TURKEY DAY!

      PS - EFF BLACK FRIDAY!

      ~Havoc

    • That time of the year

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      So, it's just about Thanksgiving. I hope you and yours have a good one, and no matter the situation, always try to remember there are things in all of our lives to be thankful for.

      Training for the new job has been rough, I won't lie. And for the past two days it seemed like my benefits were not as they were presented to me when I was offered this position, and I was almost ready to give it up - but things were corrected, and I'm back on track. The only thing in the way now is to learn the job, and start learnin the repetition of it all. So, here's to hoping it goes well and gets better from here. I'm sure once I start it out on my own without the training wheels I will fall sometimes but will learn to pick up and keep on going.

      With Turkey day tomorrow, that means the holiday clock starts running. Maybe I'll start setting up Christmas stuff this weekend. However, there's a lot of tasks at hand that I need to accomplish this weekend that'll have me a little bit on the go, and hopefully in good ways.

      Well that's it for now. Everyone take care and have a good holiday!
      ~Havoc

    • This new pace...

      7 years ago

      GeneralHavoc

      Hello again nobody out there! It's now definitly been at least a week plus since I started posting again on a normal basis. Looks like the only person out there watching right now is Godzilla who just got back. That's cool. I hope the rest of my 47 friends are out there; and should definitly hit me up on FB.

      Anyway...

      So the pace of the new job is really taking its toll on me, both physically and mentally. I'm really tired anymore, and while now I have time to do stuff, all I want to do is rest and relax. Man it sucks getting older.

      Hit ya later,
      ~Havoc

  • Comments (1013)

    • Dark_Rayne

      7 years ago

      You are welcome! I know how it is to start out in a job that is not like the others. Positive reinforcement is something i've realized people don't get enough of, especially in my job and these troubled kids, so I try and help anyone who needs that booster shot, so to speak smiley8.gif

      Stay positive!

    • Dark_Rayne

      7 years ago

      yup im here! =)

    • stew FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      Not in Pittsburgh yet. Still have not found a place now I havd the funds to relocate.

    • Dark_Rayne

      8 years ago

      yeah, i've been working at a dry cleaners for 4 years part time, worked full time over 60 hours at a land and leasing company and they made me skip class, and I also delivered newspapers at one point, taking 14 hours, and babysitting. fail fail fail. im glad i made it through in 6 years lol

    • Dark_Rayne

      8 years ago

      actually, medallion was for being VP of the Criminal Justice Club. only honor I got. the smarty pants kids got cords. I swear this chic in front of us had 5. She could not have worked while going to school to get that.. juuust saying

    • Grizzdrop

      8 years ago

      Great to see you at my Gamestop now :) (mine as in I drop in all the time to preorder stuff and chat with the folks there).
      Glad things are going well with you and yours.

      Please let me know the momment you hear about Infamous 2!
      woot!

    • Integritous

      8 years ago

      Hey man long time no talk

    • LeafsNeverDi

      9 years ago

      HAaavvvoc. i miss you in my life. we has to go play the shootyballs with caleb and the AC's soon!

    • xBoW_cHiCkAx

      9 years ago

      Heyyy, how've you been?

      :)

    • Grizzdrop

      9 years ago

      Hey!
      was neat running into you at the Gamestop!
      sorry if I talked your ear off :)
      I speak rapidly in real life, lol.

      was also fun to be recognized :)

    • SpiFFy4JiFFy

      9 years ago

      I know! Been really good lately actually, how have you been?

    • Grizzdrop

      9 years ago

      woops
      just added two people and listed them as random FB people (mostly for games do I allow that)
      message me there and tell me which one you are so I can switch my list for you :)

    • frenchbum

      9 years ago

      Hope You Have A Happy Holiday!!!!!!

    • 2Tall4U

      9 years ago

      Hey, if you are still looking for admins in the Pittsburgh Steelers group, I would love to help out!

    • Grizzdrop

      10 years ago

      ^_^
      Do you have any ideas?

    • Grizzdrop

      10 years ago

      that's a lot of work

    • Zeke2049

      10 years ago

      You going to todays game?

    • Zeke2049

      10 years ago

      Meeting up outside the arena?
      I'm up for that, make a RvB tent XD

    • Zeke2049

      10 years ago

      you goin to the pens game?

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      as long as it's paid it wont

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      congrats on the internship. What's it for?

      Old Dominion in Norflok. Not a super big school but it's got what I need.

      Summer school shouldn't be hard except I'm taking the 2nd half of chem and my proff is known as the chemistry troll. smiley4.gif

    • stew FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Pens beat flyers and proceed to next round of playoffs. Woo!

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      nothing much, I'm going to ODU in the fall. I finally made it to big girl school. I have to take a class this summer though smiley2.gif

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      that's rough. I know the overwhelmed feeling all too well. Just hang in there for a few more days.

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      yeah this semester's been a breeze compaired to the last one.

      how're things for you?

    • xBoW_cHiCkAx

      10 years ago

      Oh shushhhh

      xP

    • JRaj2010

      10 years ago

      SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!!!!!!!!!!

    • JRaj2010

      10 years ago

      GO STEELERS!!!

    • xBoW_cHiCkAx

      10 years ago

      Hey you, how's it goin?

      Excited fo Sunday?

    • MMTess

      10 years ago

      Sorry if I upset you. That wasn't my intention. I'll delete it.

    • MMTess

      10 years ago

      I had to lame you on principle. smiley1.gif

      Because now there's a koala bear in my comments. smiley4.gif

    • Sp1r1t0fW1ld

      10 years ago

      steelers will WIN THE SUPERBOWL CARDINALS CAN SUCK TWO FEET UNDER!!!!!!!!!!!

    • GeneralHavoc

      10 years ago

      In reply to stew, #-1:

      HELLS YEAH!

    • stew FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Steelers are going to the Super Bowl!

    • xBoW_cHiCkAx

      10 years ago

      Indeed, I know how that is.

      *hugs* =]

      I haven't been gettin much/good sleep in the past few months

    • xBoW_cHiCkAx

      10 years ago

      But of course! lol

      How've you been??

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      we got a few fluries twice and that's it.

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      Really I thought you might get a little more snow than that

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      The weather's alright down here. I wish we could see some snow this winter.

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      not bad, but to all that great either. How's PA?

    • TheCC

      10 years ago

      thanks

    • stew FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      I also have this talent of picking up stuff when I feel like it.

    • stew FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      I've never downloaded stuff from their Marketplace. I never felt the need to.

    • Grizzdrop

      10 years ago

      I was hanging at the North Park Clubhouse last night :) I mean that gamestop.,. the one right there by the postoffice. which one did you mean? 0_o
      lol
      never been to the North Park Clubhouse before but some folks from work wanted to get together there after our christmas party (and our workload for the day) so I figured since our state FINNALY banned smoking indoors I would go hand out. quiet fun! played pool and watched some drunken work buddies toss darts and such

    • Grizzdrop

      10 years ago

      ahhh
      I don't know that one
      I know the ones in Robinson

    • dedbob71

      10 years ago

      Its all good...

    • dedbob71

      10 years ago

      Sometimes...

    • dedbob71

      10 years ago

      I'm not in Japan right now...I'm in the Southern Philippines...Again...

    • SpiFFy4JiFFy

      10 years ago

      AH!

    • xBoW_cHiCkAx

      10 years ago

      Indeed they are! I can haz peepcorn chickenz now?

      =D

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