GodxSpeed

Female
from Forest Lake, MN

  • Activity

    • >___<

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      Okay, I just had a horrible nightmare where I woke up screaming and crying. When I think back to it now (about 20 minutes later) for some reason it doesn't seem rational that I was so scared. But I want to put this down before I forget all the details and I type faster than I write.

      It started off with me, my stepsisters, and my mom all sitting on my bed working on a craft together. One of my stepsisters in particular was really struggling with it, and even though I told her what she needed to do she repeated the same mistake over and over again and then would have an epiphany about what I'd said 100 times - it pissed me off, I was mad as hell at her.

      Then she dared to steal my cigarettes and try to start smoking. I got so angry, I was enraged, I ripped the cigarettes out of her hand and then yelled at the top of my lungs, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TRYING TO SMOKE MY CIGARETTES?! ARE YOU STUPID?!"

      Suddenly, her real mom comes barging into the room. She was a big woman with short blond spiky hair, and by big I mean strong looking and tall (not icky body builder strong though). She tore my stepsister out of the bed and dragged her into the adjoining room - my mom and I ran out after her (my other stepsister disappeared at this point).

      We had lit candles in the adjoining room, it was the 'upstairs' of the split level house which had a balcony looking over the kitchen and entry way - it had the features of a living or family room. My stepsister got away from her mother, and I was feeling horrible and terrified at this point because I hadn't known before that the woman was a raging abusive drunk.

      Suddenly she starts throwing lit candles. As fast as I can I'm blowing them out so my house doesn't light on fire, and in a terror I start screaming at her, "GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET OUT!" My mom who was on the floor to the left of me started yelling at her to leave also.

      As she went down the stairs she was dropping lit matches, trying to burn down my house. This is the first place I've been able to live in after being homeless for six months (though in the dream my home looked like my Aunt and Uncle's, not like my actual one). It was becoming harder and harder to move it seemed, I chased after the matches, blowing them out or stomping on them.

      My stepsister and mother disappeared from the dream here. I was telling the big woman to stop, asking her what the hell she was doing, "Are you trying to kill us?!" She was just muttering to herself incoherently and putting on her shoes, I tried to listen but I couldn't understand.

      Suddenly she picked up the candle lighter and the area rug sitting in the entry way and started trying to light it on fire. I managed to kick away the rug and I grabbed the candle lighter by the barrel, immediately she turned it at me and pulled the trigger without pushing the child safety lock - she was spraying me with gas!

      It was becoming harder to fight her, harder to move. She began beating me with the lighter, and then trying to get it to light so she could burn me alive. I was trying to scream for the only person who could help me but it was hard, finally I managed.

      I woke up screaming "MOM!" in a broken voice, and I was just so shaken and so scared - that dream had felt so real. I hadn't wanted to die by being burned alive, I didn't want my home burned down, I didn't want to be homeless again. In that dream every small happiness I had was stripped away and it terrified me to the absolute core.

      -sigh- Ugh...

    • And it Begins!

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      About a week ago, my mom and I did some planting for the upcoming spring season. I, being a fan of vegetable gardens, started a Roma tomato plant. On March 3rd (yesterday according to this journal), they finally started to sprout! I planted multiple seeds in five different locations, so there are several plant sprouts in each spot, but you can see them starting to peek out from the ground. <333

      Plantdocumentation3-13-08001.jpg

      Plantdocumentation3-13-08002.jpg

      (Click for larger view).

      I'll probably update you all further as they continue to grow - because they have really kicked in to high gear now that I've moved them into my room (where it's warmer).

    • The Consequence of Selfishness...

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      Is the loss of an innocent life. My pet rabbit Skittles passed away the other day due to the neglect of those to whom she was trusted too... for three fucking days.

      The situation is this. Where I'm living now, I'm not allowed to have any sort of pet without a doctor's note. When I was evicted I had three pets - One sick rabbit, one healthy rabbit, and a dog. The rabbits went to my best friend's house, where they were housed in the garage. Two months later, the ill one passed away. Because of that, the remaining bunny, Skittles, was moved into my friend's room where she could be taken better care of. That was June of 07.

      Last week, my best friend drove up here for a few days to visit. For three days, his sister and father were entrusted to feed and give water to the rabbit, who was perfectly healthy when he left. When he returned home, the bunny's cage had been moved into his sister's room for some reason. It was much too heavy for her to lift herself, so her father was obviously, "doh, okay!" and carried it for her.

      My best friend's sister doesn't even sleep in her own room. Why? Because it's not insulated, and it's in the basement against the frozen ground so it gets almost as cold in there as it is outside. On top of that, the heat vent is closed and she keeps the door closed. Plus, his dad is a penny-pincher so on average the heat is kept on 57 degrees F.

      When my friend looked into the cage, my bunny wasn't moving. He opened the top and reached in there, she was ice cold.

      In three days, those two idiots murdered my pet. I hated them both as it was, but when the level of stupidity and irresponsibility is so great as to cost an innocent animal's life, it's too much. His sister had no right to take my pet into her room without my permission, and her dunce asshole father even helped her.

      I am pissed off, and hurt, to no end. How can you be so irresponsible and stupid that you destroy the life of a perfectly healthy animal in three days?! Not only that, when the animal is not your pet to hurt!!

      The two of them are going to feel my hellfire wrath as soon as I get the chance to sit them both down. I don't care if I'm not allowed to come over there anymore, I've stood idly by and watched them make my friend's life hell because they only power I had was to console him and offer him my house as temporary shelter. But when that double waste of flesh and blood kills an innocent animal, who still had 6 to 13 years to live, I will not just say "that sucks" and let it go.

      Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

      CharcoalandMom002.jpg
      Copyofhollyandbunny.jpg

      Charcoal and Skittles... I love you guys. <3

    • Is It Just Me...

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      Or are many people making excessive numbers of pointless journals? D: I myself try to avoid this, but it's an annoyance that I just need to point out. Being a frequent user of the "Friends' Journals" link that sponsors get to use, I often end up scrolling through a couple pages of silly Journal posts like "Yay jurnal lol" and other stuff like that. u.u I mean really.

      So what are your opinions on this topic, RT? I'd love to hear it. If you yourself feel like you frequently post many journals and believe strongly that you have the right to post as much pointless shit as you want, say so. Wave your banner.

      I don't care.

      I just need something to listen to.

      P.S.: My profile views can count. :D

    • Smothered!

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      No, not the song by Spineshank.

      D: I'm sorry Jack, but I don't think I can "take one for the team" this time around. Valentine's Day was wonderful for me with a rose and heart-shaped box of chocolates, a wonderful lunch at a Mongolian Grill restaurant, and movies and games together but... I feel absolutely smothered. He's borderline clingy, and it's starting to totally drive me away. I feel like I need to stay far away from people right now...

      As far away as physically possible anyway. Aaah, anti-cuddle! D: </3

      Go away boys, go away affection! Leave me in bittersweet solitude for the time being! Pull out my hair, pull out my teeth, almost anything is better than the feeling of being absolutely stifled. smiley4.gif
      Love day my ass, more like lovesick, and not the way ChroncApathy is feeling.

    • Rock Band

      in Forums > Rock Band | Follow this topic

      GodxSpeed

      A place to discuss the game "Rock Band".

      I searched the Archive for the entire Rooster Teeth forums and every time I tried posting in a RB thread it had been locked, so... I have come to the conclusion that there isn't a Rock Band thread.

      And there should be. smiley8.gif

      2 replies

    • Valentine's Day...

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      Hmm... so it seems that the lover's holiday is just around the corner... My best friend, spent his last visit here trying to woo me, with roses sweet words and heart-shaped food. I've thought a lot about how much I care for him but... is it love or more a feeling of family bonding? In his time here I was reminded much of the different ways he irritates me but also of the different ways he makes me feel as if I am an angel... unnaturally beautiful, an elevated human being.

      At the same time...

      I enjoy my flirtatious single life. Do I want to be tied down, or do I want to keep my wings and fly, enjoy the freedoms that come with this way of being?

      None the less, over the past week or so, it seems that many begging suitors have come to me, valiant and 'willing to fight for my hand' if I may. I wonder still, when will my knight in shining armor sweep me off my feet?

    • Your Favorite Halo Kill

      in Forums > Your Favorite Halo Kill | Follow this topic

      GodxSpeed

      Hello fellow Halo fans! I'm curious, what is or are your favorite kill(s) on Halo (whether it be live, or campaign)?

      Here's one of mine:
      I was playing on the Guardian map on Xbox Live once when I had a great assassination. After grabbing invisibility and using the lift to go to the middle, I dropped down one of the edges right into the middle of a battle. I stood still, watching, waiting for a victor (I hate it when people interrupt my 1v1 battles). After one person won, he backed up--right into me. So I beat him down. He had no idea that I was even there!

      I bust out laughing, it really was great. Though it may be one of those things where you just have to be there. Now, lets hear some of yours!

      5 replies

    • Noooo!

      11 years ago

      GodxSpeed

      My friend's Sexbox just got the red ring of death! The one with the Player 2 slot unlit. He has hardware problems and has to send it in to be fixed - we probably won't see it (or me online) for another four or five weeks. So depressing.

      So... sexbox-less.
      ;_;

    • Rock Band Game Disk Issue

      in Forums > Rock Band Game Disk Issue | Follow this topic

      GodxSpeed

      After some somewhat extensive research I have been unable to find help on this particular issue: While playing Rock Band, after so long the whole game will freeze or all audio/video feed terminates.

      I have tried various things including:
      smiley9.gif Cleaning the disk
      smiley9.gif Restarting the Xbox 360
      smiley9.gif Powering off the system for at least one hour.

      I'm sure it is the game disk because after some trials of playing other games for somewhat extensive periods of time (1 1/2 hours, 2 hours), Rock Band was the only one showing this problem. Is there a way for me to fix this? And if I can't, what do I do?

      4 replies

  • Comments (384)

    • DarthR3van

      11 years ago

      hey congrats on getting the Save the Farmer achivment

    • Xsonz

      11 years ago

      The GB is online!

    • ColonelCarrt

      11 years ago

      Hi.

    • Birdman879

      11 years ago

      Hi how are you, havent talked to you in like forever.

    • shotgunwhor

      11 years ago

      hi hi!!

    • rigidnight

      11 years ago

      hello how are you

    • DarthR3van

      11 years ago

      thanks for adding me.hope all goes well on that Achivment

    • ColonelCarrt

      11 years ago

      oh hai.

    • Surutar

      11 years ago

      heh. couldn't resist a sealab 2021 reference on that pic...

    • DarthR3van

      11 years ago

      hey just wanted to know if the info on Save The Farmer i gave you helped.

    • ickaickaicka

      11 years ago

      Haha thanks!

    • Birdman879

      11 years ago

      they took the album name just a bit to seriously, yeah i really didn't listen to them that much until recently when i listened to the toxicity album.Best one in my opinion.

    • Birdman879

      11 years ago

      yeah mostly everyone knows who SOAD is but not many know devildriver, fewer actually listen to them.

    • Birdman879

      11 years ago

      my keen detctive skills tells me you like listenin to System of a Down and DevilDriver.

    • Birdman879

      11 years ago

      Thanks for acceptin the FR.

    • AiuaCortana

      11 years ago

      An ex of mine's mom worked for AFLAC, so she'd give me the stuffed duckies, the candy and I remember she has a giant AFLAC ducky. The ex is making an attempt to crawl back though...Why is it always the crazy guys who have good parents?

    • Biolith

      11 years ago

      Lol. Well, see you tomorrow. I need to rest for my History final tomorrow. >.<;;

    • Biolith

      11 years ago

      LOL. Sucks that you have to take so many meds. Hope you get off of them someday.

    • One_Rifle FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Nick J.

      11 years ago

      indeed, love their song, Bye Bye Beautiful, like a big F*** You to Tarja.

    • Biolith

      11 years ago

      Wait... "Delayed Orgasm?"
      o.O;;

      THAT's a new one.

    • Biolith

      11 years ago

      Yeah. Half the time the side-effects are worse than the condition the meds are supposed to fix. :)

    • Biolith

      11 years ago

      Well, crap. I know how the whole "dependence on medication" thing feels. I have to take stuff for my ADHD, and if I stop taking it, I get a headache that doesn't go away for a while. Hope everything goes well for you. I was actually really concerned for a while, with the last journal you left being the whole thing about the stabbing. I thought you had died. (And that wouldn't have been good. I'd have probably gotten depressed, or something.) It's good seeing you back here, though. Always something to spice up the forum life.

    • Biolith

      11 years ago

      Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. Everything going alright over there?

    • lever

      11 years ago

      hey ive seem u arpund in the gears threads if urinerested hit meup on xbox live and we can shoot em up lol GT: MechanizedWolf

    • One_Rifle FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Nick J.

      11 years ago

      i just noticed yourtag (under yout SN) I've benn listening to nightwish for a while and was sad to see Tarja go, but I just recently bought their new album and I was really surprised how good it is.

    • alucardjr

      11 years ago

      hi my names moose and i am looking for new friends.

    • alucardjr

      11 years ago

      hi my name is moose and i am looking for new people to talk to and maybe even get to know better. i like to play video games. watch tv. go for walks and draw anime. i ahve a few pics that i drew on my page. i am 5'6 1/2 i wieght 169 pounds and i am currently in grade 11.

    • Crossfire00

      11 years ago

      Send me a message sometime.
      I'd like to get to know you.

    • Elarmarth

      11 years ago

      Hey!
      Long time no see :)

    • little_chief

      11 years ago

      Hi smiley1.gif

    • ColonelCarrt

      11 years ago

      Is that my cock in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?

    • VegasSpartan

      11 years ago

      Lawlz. Can I has halp plzkthx? xP

    • Xsonz

      11 years ago

      OMG I THINK I LOVE YOU
      eh I mean Awsome! ...>_> (shifty eyes)
      Your really good. like, Im trying to get into cartooning. Mind helping me out sometime?

    • DrMcCarrot

      11 years ago

      Also, can I cover you in whip cream and then lick you clean?

    • VegasSpartan

      11 years ago

      Hey. Thanks again for talkin' with me the other night. It really helped :)

    • Magorphenger

      11 years ago

      Why aren't you watching Home Movies right now...

    • DrMcCarrot

      11 years ago

      Well, we gave win a good talking to.

      For misrepresenting us.

    • baghdaddy27

      11 years ago

      wow
      for real your life has some crazy shit going on

    • Hohenheim

      11 years ago

      Huh. I wonder why so many of your images are neg-modded, when they're actually more worthy of positive ones.


      Carrot is pretty much an expert at pissing off noobs. Though I imagine you noticed that.

    • DrMcCarrot

      11 years ago

      Hai thar.

      Wanna get naked for me and take lots of pictures?

    • dvdx

      11 years ago

      Hi Holly.

    • Penguinist

      11 years ago

      Great. Now that kid blocked me...

      I wasn't being that serious. I'm just not very good at being un-serious.

      Plus, that kick was kind of mean.. But then again, I'm not sure if penguins have a vulnerable orb region.



      Post edited 3/15/08 11:22AM

    • Xsonz

      11 years ago

      Just wondering. Sleep well?

    • DrMcCarrot

      11 years ago

      Your mean penguin friend is trying to kill me!

      So I introduced his my boot to his testicles.

    • DrMcCarrot

      11 years ago

      >.> <.< *gives you a different batch of cookies and smiles innocently*

      Those were...over cooked.

    • Penguinist

      11 years ago

      Yep. No victim for me.

      Therefore, me = sad.

      So, I noticed that you have MSN... I don't use it often, but I have one.

    • DrMcCarrot

      11 years ago

      awwwww meanie head.

      Want some delicious cookies?

    • JediJesus87

      11 years ago

      Why thank you madam. The more the merrier I always say. If you want to spread the word, feel free to do so.

    • Penguinist

      11 years ago

      Aww... no victim for me..

      Well, at least you figured out that before you decided to take any action.

      You gain some respect.

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