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from Cheonan, South Korea

  • Activity

    • Buff Buddies Week 1 - Excuses (NO MORE)

      3 years ago


      Tuesday, I realized I hadn't done anything different for this Buff Buddies diet and exercise plan. I wanted to! Josh is something of a hero to me for how brilliantly his first few shorts were executed and for a while, I was tweeting at him way too much.

      But I got it in my head that my plan wasn't worth the effort.

      Running in place? Too easy! I'm still in my high school mindset where the 24-to-48 hour window after an exercise, I should be sore to cough. Running in place doesn't do that for me. It's something to do while watching Twitch that I might get sweaty after if the heat's on but mostly it's just activity, not what's in my head as exercise.

      But before all of this, I couldn't continue to lift weights or sprint around the track or whatever because of my work schedule then my location then my health and next who knows what the excuse will be?

      Activity, a little gentler on the joints but also gentler on the calorie-burn, is an alternative I need to get used to. Maybe one session of running in place won't whip me into shape but a month of doing it regularly? That's better than what got me to this point. And with knee-highs and butt-kicks and fast feet and--DEAR GOD--jumping jacks? Surely I can make it an exercise when it feels too easy, when it feels like I'm making little progress. It's no good telling myself there's no point just because it's a slow process. It was a slow process gaining weight too, so much so, that it sneaked up on me and I thought my pants had just shrunk a little.

      When I realized that, Tuesday night, I started my routine, trying to make up for lazy days. It's going well. I'm staying active. My diet is a good first step (only half a soda this week!) but I'll whittle out the bad habits over time.

      I'd like to keep up this attitude during my three weeks (flight got pushed to Dec. 1) in the States so I can show up to my beach in Korea, lift up my shirt, and be proud that I need a belt to hold up my pants.

    • Buff Buddies Week 0 - Goals!

      3 years ago


      I've been on a quest to fit into pants since July after realizing I had two pairs of boxers that fit and one pair of pants. Then those ripped and I had to buy new ones sized 36 x 32 when I've been a 34/32 x 32 for 10+ years. I wanted to slim down for teaching in Korea so I could lift the Kindergarten kiddos up to the ceiling, praying they didn't smack the light. Last time I was there they called me "Hul-ku-tea-cha!"

      Good news: 36 x 32 is now too big for me.

      But I'm still not 100% comfortable in my old clothes and body. I've dropped 5 lbs from 190 to 185, but I'm used to being 160-165. I'd like to get back to a body-type similar regardless of the numbers. Some slim muscles and some bulky glamour ones.

      To do that, I'm cutting out soda and candy where possible. Sometimes I'll slip up and I'm not going to feel bad if I'm still cutting back. My last job was working from home which encouraged a couch-potato lifestyle so any activity will be a good step. I've been lowering my carbs on days I don't exercise, even eating cheeseburgers without a bun which is a greasy melted cheese mess but delicious, and I'm trying to sweat 4 times a week for 40+ minutes. A lot of it is running in place or body squats, but I also try lifting weights for major muscle groups. Power clean, dead lift, bench, squat, military press, so on.

      Bad news: Upper body weights are out for the last month. I did something to my elbow and when I'm grabbing anything over 5 lbs, it hurts and then for a day feels like it's about to pop but can't quite. Maybe need it looked at.

      Squats are still in and healthy eating are still in. So is walking the dog but she likes to stop for poop-sniffing and it's not the best exercise.

      Overall Goals:

      Generally healthier habits

      Less/no soda & candy

      Fewer carbs on low-activity days

      More sweaty activities

      Look sexy as all hell while teaching in Korea near the beach

      Week 1:

      Running in place for 2 hours total (~20 minutes daily)

      Daily walks with doggy of 30+ minutes

      2 leg days with weights

      2 days for core and cardio exercises

      1 Halloween leftover treat a day (fun-sized)

    • Looking for Lady

      4 years ago


      I couldn't find Lady.

      I'm typing this with frozen, shaky fingers.

      I was sure I put her outside and it was late and I've been so tired that I forgot to bring her in while watching TV, which is a total flashback to her embolism when she was stuck under the house, but normally she scratches the backdoor or she barks but all I heard was the wind. It's been crazy windy today. We didn't go for a walk or anything because of the cold wind. It's rattling the window screens now.

      So I was calling for her outside. The back porch lights only reach around the pool so the yard behind the garage is always dark so she hides there at night. I yelled to her "You. Here. You here. Right now.' Normally she responds to that. That's the command to come in at night. Normally she comes trotting onto the brick by the pool steps but she didn't. I grabbed my phone because it has a light. Still a routine night for when she's feeling stubborn, but she wasn't in the yard and the wind had blown the fence gate open.

      I ran upstairs, threw on two sweaters and my hat and coat and gloves and wool socks and I got on the hunt for her.

      She hasn't run away since her leg problems because she's been too slow and too weak and that's also why she doesn't run around the house as much and when I chase her she's much slower and we haven't gone running lately because she can't keep up even with me and it's not just age, her whole butt sinks when she stands for too long, but she still has fun so we do what we can till she's tired.

      Anyway, I was looking for her. I had her leash. I had my phone's flashlight on. I was yelling for her. It was really cold and my coat's not warm and it's missing a button so it doesn't close completely and the wind was getting in. But I was out looking up and down the main street then the side streets and even in the yards. Going around the whole neighborhood with her, just on the sidewalks, takes over an hour but I was going slower because I had to look in the yards and I've told you about the coyotes before in the cornfield across the street but she's never run out there before so I didn't look there but while I was walking back, I kept thinking that was the only place I hadn't looked that she'd reasonably go. So I got back to the main street and I was plodding through the broken corn stalks, yelling for her, shining the light everywhere.

      I couldn't find her.

      It was so dark and she blends in perfectly with the dirt. She didn't have her collar on either because her skin gets dry in this weather so she wasn't even wearing her collar which jingles when she runs or shakes or does anything. And you know it was late and cold and my phone was almost dead and I was technically trespassing.

      So I went home. First I looked in the back yard in case she came back and I closed the gate. Then I went inside and I was like crying and getting my phone charger and going through the cabinets for a flashlight that worked which of course we don't have one.

      And I was just about to go back out even with it being so dark when she came running downstairs.

    • OCT

      4 years ago


      Jordan, my best friend, is an asshole. Love the guy to death, hopefully by my hands, but he's an asshole, always squirting shit like how his house is 1.8 miles away and not 2 miles, because reasonable human beings would never round. We met ten years ago and he's pretty much the same guy he always was, but a bit muted. The worst moment in our friendship wasn't when he admitted he started smoking pot during college because frankly I didn't care or the times he's broken up with girls and left me with easing their anguish over the loss of him (because hey, everyone needs an asshole or all that shit's going to stay inside you) or the times they broke up with him and he left me to convince them that he's worthy of a second chance. No, those were typical friend things, right? The worst moment was when his obsessive compulsive tendencies eased up.

      Everyone's got tendencies of psychological disorders. We worry about speaking in public or being judged by peers and strangers. We're irritable for no reason. There are tiny details out of whack in a comfortable environment that agitate us. When they become overwhelming, that's a psychological disorder.

      Jordan fidgeted and threatened violence when I set the volume to 11. Or 7. Or 23. 21 was okay because it was his number in baseball and blackjack and whatever else. He liked it. Odds with 5s were more even than the others.

      So whenever he went for a potty, I'd bump up the volume to the nearest odd. And when the volume goes from 1 to 100, the decibel difference between 10 and 11 is practically nothing.

      But he could tell.

      Maybe I'd done it too often. Maybe his ears were sensitive to it. Maybe it was a sixth sense, like Spidey's: the crazy sense.

      That changed around the time he started smoking so I guess it mellowed him out. It was his biggest bit of crazy, but the crazy's not all gone. It's just harder to irk.

      We hang out every Friday at 4:30 p.m., get Taco Bell or Wendy's, then play NHL for his PS3.

      Sport games are the epitome of repetitive. It's that soothing grind MMO players get. There's an order. There's a routine. Our routine is to sim the preseason, play game 1, simulate to the trade deadline, make a trade for the #1 pick, sim to the playoffs, sim to game 3 of the first series, play if we're tied or losing, keep simming if we win, and continue, repeat for each series, win the Stanley Cup, go to the draft, check awards, sign our players for an even dollar amount, repeat.

      We play on easy. There's no danger of losing the season. Trades are on easy. We bully our way into getting the best players and picks. Our first game of the season usually ends up like 12 '“ 3. We skate down the ice, one-time it.

      We go through maybe three seasons a night, then at 10:30, I leave.

      If we don't play NHL, we play NHL Hitz, NBA Jam, Madden, MLB, whatever. A sport. And the first game is great! But the second game is basically the first game with a pallet swap. And so on and so on and so on and so on.

      And he's soothed. I don't know that he enjoys it, but there's at least no irritability after.

      But wait! There's more!

      He looks identical to his brother and father. Slap a wig on his sister, and they're twins. I seriously suspect cloning was involved.

      His mom's name is Laurel. Not a common name like Ashley or Jennifer. His fiancé's name is Laurel (congratulations to them). I don't suspect anything Oedipal about it, though. I suspect it's his OC tendency.

      His office in his new house (congratulations to him) is decorated with all the St. Louis Cardinals gear that decorated his room at home.

      But here's the cake.

      His favorite shows have been off the air since he was in school. Friends, Scrubs, Seinfeld. He watches mostly crime shows, the very formulaic acronym ones like NCIS or CSI. I've been trying to convince him to see Guardians of the Galaxy since I saw it in theaters, a $5 matinee where I was nearly alone. It was a treat during a tough time and I cried in the theater it was so good. He says he doesn't know the characters so he's not interested. The talking raccoon, Vin Diesel as Groot saying two lines throughout, general sci-fi-ness of it, I understand why people are put off before seeing it, but afterwards, everyone's a convert.

      Then I told him I started watching Agents of Shield, and it's a similar story progression to Gotham, which he likes. But he gave me the same answer. He didn't know the characters. Or the story. Or the universe.

      Hold on.

      What movie do you go to already knowing the characters, story, universe? No one walked into a Good Will Hunting showing knowing anything about it. In 1989, most didn't know anything about Batman. In this culture that thinks spoilers are the only sin that should doom someone to hell, who the fuck goes to see a movie they already know the story to?

      We watch reruns all the time. We occasionally rewatch movies. But it is a rarity, and a sign of craziness, for someone to avoid a movie because they don't know what happens already.

      The dude's a crazy asshole. It's so entertaining.

    • Inflated Typing Speeds

      4 years ago


      I've got this data entry temp gig to interview for tomorrow, something to replenish the savings after this awful Christmas season. The listing requires a minimum typing speed of 20 words per minute.

      Is that for Benjamin Franklin or someone who's never seen a keyboard? Even the hunt and peck method can be quicker than that if you at least know where the letters are. And I get it; not everyone is constantly on the internet, joining in flame wars, laughing out loud, and typing up web addresses, but for today's minimum required typing speed on an online job posting'”it just seems ridiculous.

      Regardless, I went to test what my actual speed is. I've been listing 60 wpm since high school when I last took a keyboarding class. My technique is not great. My spidery hands have had half the legs crippled. Generally I'm typing on my index and middle fingers, maybe using the ring finger for shifts and apostrophes, and sometimes I'll just use the middle finger if I'm angry.

      I'm on this site called 10fasterfingers.com. The basic typing test is a minute long. It has two rows of 15 words, the one you're on highlighted and red if you make an error, and the top row clears when completed and the bottom row rises and is replaced. I topped out at 84 wpm, making 0 mistakes, not even caffeinated. My friend sucks at typing, but he's not an internet guy. He doesn't have a wide ass from hours at a desk. His high school pants still fit without undoing the button and zipper. So I asked him his typing speed, if he even knew it, just so I could rub mine in. Any chance to one-up him. He hates me. He jokingly said 10, but I'm guessing it's not far off. He's probably near that 20 wpm minimum requirement. He asked mine and I told him 84 and he asked "Letters per minute?'

      I don't know if he's joking! I don't know if he actually thinks that's a speed to be measured. From what I remember, the "words per minute' includes 5 letters and a space, so I'd be around 420. Not a good number to measure, though it looks impressive.

      The sphere of knowledge is difficult because he doesn't know what I know and I don't know about baseball or history or the useless shit he knows, but it made me question my listed speed.

      On my resume, I modestly put down 60 wpm. That's plenty fast and that's what I tested at in high school on the 15-minute final where mistakes didn't count towards the number of words. So 60 perfect words per minute for 15 minutes. While writing, I never get to that mechanical speed. I'm more considerate with my thoughts, diction, style, dick jokes. Last time I went that quick for a length, I was transcribing The Princess Bride. Great book and great exercise for understanding a writer's style is to literally copy them and get an insight on how they put sentences together.

      This typing speed test just told me I max out at 84 words per minute because of a sprint. For data entry, I've never done it but I assume it's a lengthy process. 8-hour days of entering. But can I change my resume to 84 words per minute? I did hit that speed. My resume is supposed to boast my best features (there's a subtle self-deprecating dick joke). Chances are these people listing 20 words per minute as a requirement, like that's disqualifying any candidates, probably won't challenge it. But it's completely dishonest. I'm not going to keep up 85 words per minute throughout an 8-hour day, even with breaks, even with perfect typing conditions where it's easy to follow whatever I'm entering.

      Whatever. I'm going to do it. Resume changed.

    • Suck me dry...of my money

      4 years ago


      Rooster Teeth added sponsor-reads to the front of RTAA for the first time today. It's a 10-second ad of Animated Gus getting squished against the screen by the Hulu Plus logo. It's funny.

      People bitched.

      So people were doing math about how much extra time this is costing them in a year, figuring 20 videos a day with 20-second ads (I don't know how they arrived at that number but they used it so I rebutted it).

      (20 videos x 20 seconds of ads x 365.25 days / 1 year) x (1 minute / 60 seconds) x (1 hour / 60 minutes) = 40.5 hours of ads per year!

      Oh god!!!

      And even at an $8.000 minimum wage, that's $320 per year that we're wasting watching ads. Out of the potential $16,640 of minimum wage 40-hour salary, you're giving up 1.92% of it watching ads! Fuck me. I quit. That's too rich for my blood. 1.87%? I'm on board, but anything above and fuck it, I'm sticking to my standard cable package.

      It only costs $60 a month which multiplied by 12 for months in a year that's... $720. Okay, okay. So I'm paying more but I have more channels and more choices and all that, right? And we don't get these pesky 20-second ads before or after or during a video....oh wait.

      Most TV shows are about 21 minutes with the extra 9 minutes in the half-hour slot made up of ads. Bad ones. So let's do some figuring... I probably watched 5 hours of television a day during high school so that's 10 half-hour blocks.

      10 shows x (9 minutes of ad / 1 show) x (365.25 days / 1 year) x (1 hour / 60 minutes) = 547.875 hours per year.

      Oh boy... Some folks might've gotten on the wrong side of this one.

      547.875 hours x $8.00 minimum wage = $4383 for time watching + $720 for the standard package of cable (not even the good shit!) = $5103 per year for cable television!

      Explicit and implicit costs at minimum wage of standard cable television is almost 2000% of watching online with ads....*ahem* I think I've proven my point... So RT, go ahead and have your ads in videos, before, after, during. Get all you can for giving us this free content. I support you.


    • 4 years ago


      My mom broke her ankle yesterday (Sunday, Nov. 10) so I get that she needs to be home all day and all week even. She'll have her leg re-examined a week from today and they'll determine if she needs a cast or just an immobilizer. I haven't seen the X-rays so I don't know how bad the break is, but it was swollen. Between a tangerine and an orange. And she couldn't walk or straighten it and I had to carry her in spurts to the car. Seriously, go read about my heroism and fatness.

      I never expected my dad to stay home, too. I should've. He's always looking for excuses to take off from work so after he retired working from IDOT, I have no idea why he went back to work for them as a consultant. It makes no sense! Do you hate your job and that's why you're always staying home or what?!

      Fine, it's sweet. He wants to take care of my mom so she can rest.

      Except he's not!

      At 9 am, before I was up from my late night, before my mom was up from being zonked out on Vicodin, he's stapling tar paper to their bedroom floor so he can lay the new wood flooring, their current weekend project that's been going on for years.

      Fine, fine! He's trying to get their first-floor bedroom so my mom doesn't have to sleep on the couch or hobble upstairs to the guest bedroom.

      Except he's not!!

      He spent half the day doing yard work since it's the last nice day of the season and hey, a winter with dead grass poking through the snow isn't good for Christmas cards so I get it. Sort of. He's still making a shit ton of noise while she's trying to rest and even her sound machine won't block the growling engine of his riding mower. But at least he's being productive.


      I work from home. My mom's resting. And he's around the house making all sorts of noises other than his usual fat-man belches, you know the kind where a fatty is just sitting around and burping in his throat then lets them out in a stinky sigh and it's like what the hell has you gassy all day? And he doesn't even finish the backyard! He goes in to watch TV with my mom, forcing her to sit up instead of lie down. And I know my mom. She'll let him watch whatever.

      What the fuck, Dad? Why are you home? Aren't you here to tend to her needs? Not that she asked for anything. Why are you making so much noise and being a pest when I'm trying to work! She's trying to rest! I'm fine that she's home, she needs to be, but you don't, Dad!

      Two cups of coffee and I couldn't do much today. It's just constant sighs, waiting for him to quiet down and then I get to work and then more noise. He is a big, loud man.

    • Hero Time!

      4 years ago


      I got a new pillow, one of those fancy foam ones with a weird gel so it's always cool. It's seriously magic and proof that we're in the future. But last night was my first night with it and maybe it fucked up my back. The mid-back. Above the small of my back, you know? It's a specific area below the blades and above the small. It might be from lying on my stomach with two pillows under me. Either way my back ached when my mom woke me up with a phone call.

      She was walking the dog in the park and fell in a hole. I'm trying to tell her I'll be there in five or ten minutes'”I needed pants and some deodorant at the least but it's also allergy season so my nose is dry as hell'”but she kept trying to tell me, oh I'm sorry to do this to you, but I just can't walk or move and I'm here with Lady (our dog) and she won't let me tell her to shut up because it's not a problem. I'd gotten up pretty late anyway, but hey, it's Sunday.

      Anyway, I'm driving out to the Wildlife Sanctuary, this place I used to run cross-country in middle school and it's got a lot of deer hiding in the forest and normally you might spot two to five, but last week we went after a storm and there were over 20. We weren't counting. Silly us. But while driving, all I can think about is obeying the traffic laws. Mom, lying in a ditch somewhere with our dog, it's cold, she can't move, she's in pain, apologizing, and I'm worried about getting pulled over. But it made sense in my head, right? If I get pulled over, that's 20 minutes delay. I'm already late because my other pants were from my thin days and I'm well into the fat ones so I tried going in the thin pants but leaving the button undone but wouldn't work so I got these slightly bigger ones'”same size but different brand, you know how it is'”and they were still too small but at least going without the button worked. So I'm late. A ticket's going to make me later. Hitting a deer too. Hitting a raccoon even. I was driving safe. But also going 40 around the forest bends where there weren't any cops, but that was when I wasn't paying attention.

      So I get to the Wildlife Sanctuary and see Mom's car. She said she was near it and the road in follows a little loop so you don't have to do a 3-point turn and if you follow the loop you get to see the playground so I'm scanning there, the picnic area, and the kickball arena, but I don't see her. I call. She's gone down by the lake, by the Sheriff's old house but it's abandoned now because leasing a place on the lake has like $12,000 in property taxes. Too much for the sheriff of a town of 10,000, right? So he's gone but the lake's still there and my mom went to look and fell in a hole.

      I'm walking up and Lady starts growling. Lady is *my* dog. She sleeps with me. I walk her most days. I feed her. I play with her and run around the house and rub her belly and yeah, I'm the come-and-go guy in her life since I've always been going to college, Wales, or South Korea, and then coming back, but seriously, I'm her boy. And she's growling at me, being all protective, but also stomping around and wagging her tail like she does when excited. I put her in my mom's car because mine was making some funny noises and has been for months but I haven't repaired it because I hardly ever drive.

      At my mom, she's telling me she can't straighten it, apologizing more, and explaining what happened in minutia that I don't care about. We discuss how she'll use me a crutch. She's a small woman, her license says 5'0' but we're always measured wearing shoes. Should I hunch over? Should I be on the hurt side or the other side? We go a few hops, switch sides, a few more hops, then I carry her.

      I'm a strong guy. A little fat now, but I used to bench 225 pounds! It's been almost a decade since those days, but come on. I did boxing. I still work out a few times a week, even without the rigor it should let me carry this 90-pound woman. But the pillow. My back seized up after a few steps. I try straightening and putting it on my legs and whatever, but a few more steps and I had to drop her. It was a controlled drop at least.

      I tell her I can keep going, in spurts, and we'll get there. So I lift her, take her 20 feet, have to put her down, and again till we get to the log that we have to step over and I try but I'm about to fall so I stop. She just sits on it and scooches over and I take a breath.

      At the car, Lady is hopping around the seats. She doesn't care which she's in and she wants to snuggle up with my mom, maybe on her legs. This protective black lab sitting on a broken ankle trying to be sweet and my mom's crying "OUCH! OUCH!' and Lady just wants to fix it so she gets closer to my mom, trying to be sweeter. Finally I pull her up to the front and we drive away and Lady's still trying to get in back and make up for whatever she did wrong by doing it some more. She doesn't understand.

      We examine the ankle at home and it's swollen. It's between the size of a tangerine and an orange. Whatever fruit that is. And my mom's nauseated looking at it and it hurt so much to take off the shoe and sock. I get her crutches from the last time she fell in the summer and hurt her knee. She hates getting old. And she goes to the bathroom while I get the ice and I put a little water in so it's not that sticky sort of intense cold and then I wrap it in wash cloth.

      She's in the bathroom for a while. I'm not going in. I don't care how she has to do it, but she's pulling her pants up on her own. Turns out she's changing pants so if the hospital needs to cast it, they won't cut her jeans. They're not nice jeans but why ruin your pants if you don't have to?

      My dad gets home and says he'll take her and we'll worry about picking up my car later. Then they go into a discussion, probably five minutes of pros and cons, about whether to go to the doctor's office (Prompt Care) or straight to the emergency room. Insurance covers both. Can they cast it at Prompt Care? It's closer. Th

    • 10 Little Roosters

      4 years ago


      10. Rage - Michael. We all saw him die and White Josh told us that once someone dies, he's definitely dead. Not only *mostly* dead so there's no Miracle Max to bring him back with a chocolate-coated pill. He choked on his rage, so it's obvious that some obvious clues will be right. Some only apply to certain people too so that helps narrow it down. I approached this like a logic puzzle. What fits? What makes the most sense? What are the other possibilities? What could I be missing? What clues were there? Which were just jokes? What jokes could the writers make at the end or be drawing on in RT Lore: Michael "Rage Quit" Jones and all that.

      9. Trips - Chris. We saw him tripping on his hobbit feet in the beginning. An obvious clue, but I thought maybe Miles playing the awkward guy in RWBY, tripping over himself. So then I thought Chris is likely to be next because he has the glowing sword which in this reality might actually be able to find the evil. The recent podcast, Aaron talks about Chris being too innocent to be dangerous, but that seems too integral to RT Lore to be fair. But if Chris is killed, he was examining Miles before his death so maybe Miles is next, the Martyr. Kill him first before he can out anyone else or defend himself. I chose Bow & Arrow for the weapon because I figured Ryan is the killer and he first did the Arrow to the Knee skyrim video. No voice, but I didn't find clues to suggest the weapon in the episode so I figure that would be where RT Lore comes in handy.

      8. Martyr - Miles. Miles was being accused by Chris before Chris was killed. Miles, in the mind of others spurned on by the killer, would kill Chris next to end him before Chris exposed him. I thought maybe Lindsay because Miles did say it'd be her second, second from where though? Second of the next bodies or second overall? She didn't show any signs of tripping, nor is she known for tripping so I thought second next. But it didn't fit as well as Miles. Who was going to kill Miles though? The crew? That does seem like martyrdom.

      7. Dicks - Barb is world famous for her dick drawings and we saw two here given to Miles. Is that a red herring? Could it then be Miles, who received the dick drawings? Would he choke on dicks and die? I couldn't say for sure, but I had already killed Miles in my mind and it fit best with the scenario I'd created so I went with Barb, but I still have time to change that upon next episode and further review.

      6. Live stream - Gus is on every podcast except the sponsorcasts. He's been on Screenplay, he is there 95% of the time on RT podcast and The Patch. We even get double gus. However, Miles and Gilby stream on twitch according to RoosterTeethRay's old twitch profile. Gavin, Burnie, Barb all appear on the RT Podcast regularly and Miles is often there for Cards Against Humanity on Fridays' Sponsor Cuts. Ryan is integral to The Patch and so is Burnie. Even Chris and Lindsay show up occasionally on live streams. This one was tough so I had to go with the podcast King, Gus.

      5. Out of air - Adam. This one is a tough clue. I'm completely undecided right now. I thought maybe Chris or Ryan because they're wearing ties and that could be easy to choke them with. Also Ryan keeps Edgar in a hole. Maybe Ryan winds up in a hole with little air. Adam played Alien Isolation and Lindsay played Borderlands the Presequel, both appearing in space. O2 is definitely a thing in Borderlands but what about Alien isolation? He's always panting and screaming in How Tos and he's a big guy. They get tired easily. But again, unsure.

      4. Flee - Gavin. He's a chicken. He's likely to run from danger, maybe in slow-mo, rather than fight. It seems simple, but isn't Jaun or whatever Miles's RWBY character a coward too? And Chris seems like that too. And Gus used to run all the time. Eventually I had to stick with my logic, trust my previous assertions and go with who of the suspects is still alive and dead-able.

      3. Pun - Lindsay. The obvious choices are Barbara Punkelman and Gus...Punrola? Okay that obviously eliminates Gus because his name can't be turned into a pun. But Lindsay Jones, who lost her husband and can go back to Tuggey, has a punny name. TuggLife. Her Gamertag. I think there's more to it but whatever.

      2. Killer - Ryan. There aren't a lot of clues. In fact, it seems like Burnie might actually be the killer based on this decagon draft of people interacting I made. But I can't find where else he'll fit. Burnie could be the killer because he was cold-blooded when he put Shannon on ice in RT Shorts Season 1. However, Burnie has a survival plan. He has like a bunker and rations and guns and a zombie plan. Ask him about it. So I had to go with Ryan. It was a tough decision but basically Ryan is just strong. Have you seen those triceps when he leans on the back of a chair? He could brutally strangle you... <3 *swoon* And the Joker photo shoot alternative of the AH line up poster? Very creepy. Plus he's The Mad King! When I saw the murder weapons, they leaned towards Ryan's arsenal.

      1. Survivor - Burnie. He's our God. He gave up the company to Matt, but he founded it and Drunk Gamers with RvB. He's on so many podcasts. He helped Geoff start Achievement Huggers with those challenges to get 10,000 gamer score in a week and the 7 day survivor achievement in Dead Rising. He's the big boss and a writer so of course he's going to write himself a good part. He always does. Church anyone? I am the best.

      These are all subject to change except the Rager, the Tripper, The Killer, and the Survivor. But I'm feeling good about these answers...you know, until next week when Burnie dies, then the next week, Ryan.

      Fuck, I should've been psychic.

    • Creators

      4 years ago


      This community of writers, artists, poets, video makers are all trying different things and a lot of it's bad and they know it's bad and you can't say it's bad because you're bad too and you know it's bad but it's just crushing when someone says it. And these people, they call themselves creatives. How sad is that? MS Word, email clients, Google's built-in dictionary, every pristine spell check on the planet puts a little red squiggly under the word or autocorrects it to "creative," and still they resist and add that s because their self-esteem is so low, they can't handle being God to what they've created.

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