Hazerblade

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from Texas

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    • Post Pictures of RT Merchandise!

      in Forums > Post Pictures of RT Merchandise! | Follow this topic

      Hazerblade

      I have searched up and down, left and right and I still couldn't find a single topic that related to posting pictures whilst wearing, or showing off your sweet Rooster Teeth Merchadise. So lets have it, show off what you got here. Whether it just be regular pose, or something more...creepy (hint at my picture.) Show off the reason why you're a sponsor, and why all the gear from Rooster Teeth that you have makes you proud to be a girl with ribbons in your hair, a gay robot, or just a plain ol' Cockbite.

      Pie > Cake
      Because they Suck!
      Just plain creepy

      11 replies

    • What I've been up to...

      9 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Nothing...

      ....

      Seriously...



      Ok, but it's going to be long and boring.



      Still some time to back out...

      Alrighty then.

      As many of you are aware, I am stationed here on Okinawa, Japan. I've been here for close to two years now, and I'm due to rotate to my next duty station in April. However, this is getting ahead of myself.

      I came here to Okinawa a little excited and curious about the culture, however, I felt more obligation to keep my relationship with my Girlfriend. I love her to death, but my time here has literally been spent on the computer, on the phone, or just talking to her. I'm not saying that I wasted time, but...I didn't do anything here in Japan. I see Marines come here fresh from boot and they have seen more of the island than I have in one month than I have in two years. I feel kinda pathetic. Also, I don't relate to Marines. I love the values that Marines have, but I really only have one friend over here, and even we don't hang out much. So I sit here, typing this on a friday evening because this isn't a new thing for me. I have always secluded myself from everyone and everything. I've tried many things to fit in, but I was just being something I wasn't, and here in the Military, it feels like I have to adjust, be someone I'm not in order to have fun. If I could go out alone, I would be much more content, but no, I'm surrounded by drunks, and idiots who don't even know their general orders, not to mention their own chain of command. I want to get out, but I don't have anywhere to go. I don't have any skills that set me apart from the rest of the world. My girlfriend wants me to get out of the military, but I don't know what to do after I do. I have so many hobbies, but I can't satisfy myself. I have a constant feeling inside myself that I could do so much more...I could be so much better. I recently purchased the Rooster Teeth Comics, and I was just...thinking. I am not apart group of people like that. I want to be. I want to have a set of friends that will always be there, and I see everyday. A group which friendship is much stronger than anything else where nothing could tear us apart. I think I had that once, but I secluded myself, tore myself away from it. It doesn't exist anymore, all the friends in that group disappated and went their seperate ways. My girlfriend is my best friend. She is my only friend it feels like. I only talk to her. I guess I'm wallowing is self-pity, and my esteem is really at the highest. I'm happy that I'm going home in March for a few weeks. (home is actually a hotel, my sister is getting married, but I get to see my family again.) My entire family has moved from Minnesota. I feel kinda lost. I've been gone for so long, been away from everything and everyone for so damn long...I just don't know what to think anymore. I feel awkward talking to people I used to talk to frequently. This is going to sound REALLY depressing, but I feel more connected to people in books, and movies, and video games...I'm missing that in my life. A group of people...People I can trust, people I can hang out with. People that won't judge me, or make me be something I'm not. I guess I'm selfish. I like me, even though many people don't. That's the real reason why I don't update my Facebook, MySpace, Red vs Blue...because I honestly think no one cares...that no one is listening to this ranting, selfish, boy inside of a man's body. Japan is a wonderful place, but I wish I had done more. I wish that I had found a group of friends, I wish I had found a family of sorts, but alas I didn't. I just had me and a phone to talk to my girlfriend. I didn't know that I could be so happy, yet so miserable at the same time. So overjoyed that me and my girlfriend made it through this two years...but at a sacrifice of my entire social life. I don't blame her though, she is wonderful...I blame myself. I blame myself for all the times I said "No, I'm busy" or "Yeah, I have plans" and just stay in the barracks. I regret all the times I just...shrugged people off. Most of all, I just hate myself for secluding myself. For either setting my standards too high, or just...being stand offish...either way...I just don't like myself. Sometimes, I don't feel worthy of what I was given. Like...it was just a sympathy vote for me...and I was given it all. "Look at him, he's miserable, lets give him things." Then I think of that, and I feel MORE guilty, and horrible...and I just...ugh...anyway...I've repeated myself quite a few times, and I've ranted for awhile. If you read this, thanks I guess. if you don't...well...what have I done for you lately, so I don't really expect anyone to read this. I have been a horrible friend, dropping off the face of the earth, not keeping in contact with anyone...doing anything for people I should...Eric, I feel sorry that I haven't given you anything, and you have given me postcards and a stratagy guide...FOR HEAVENS SAKE...I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON!...I hope you can forgive me, man. I have a lot of shit I have to work out with myself...and I just...don't like facing the brutal truth about myself....Anyway, that's all I have to say...Take care.

      Nathaniel.

    • Breakdown, Update.

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      First, my Xbox 360 is making this annoying buzzing sound, and I have to smack it on the hardrive, much like one would hit a dog on the nose with a newspaper, to make it shut up. It's driving me bonkers. However, that isn't the only thing that is breaking down. Recently, I just feel so...tired. Like, I've been fighting for something so hard, and so long, and nothing is happening. I don't know what I'm fighting for, or if it's even worth it, but I just feel so tired, like I'm failing. I don't know what is triggering these feelings, I don't even know why I'm having them. In all retrospect, I should be happy. I have the love of a wonderful woman, I'm going to be promoted soon, but I just can't place my finger on why I feel like I'm not doing something, why something feels wrong, or off. I don't feel close to anyone anymore. It's like, I have to rely on all these things in order to feel close to someone. Phones, Internet. I'm tired of it. I jsut want to be able to go out with people, have fun, take pictures and feel that sense of belonging. Maybe that's what's going on. I just don't feel like I belong. I also feel like I'm letting people down. As if I'm telling someone I'll do something, but I never get around to it. I just don't know what to think anymore. I'm confused, I'm bewildered. I just want things to start making sense to me.

    • I once ate a Vacuum.

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      It Sucked.

    • The worse Horoscopes. Ever.

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Ok, before I post the horoscopes, I should tell you a little bit about them. My friend and I back in school had made our own Magazine, with only one issue. We tried to make it offensive and funny at the same time. So, we came up with interviews from famous cartoon characters with backgrounds that are questionable and horoscopes. Oh, and I'm alive by the way, not dead, I just don't frequently update anything online. Kinda obvious now, I suppose...


      Capricorn: December 22 â€" January 19. Things will go your way this week, Capricorn, as soon as you realize that no one likes you, that your parents find you worthless, and that the Catholic Church can’t redeem you, your suicide will work in your favor.

      Aquarius: January 20 â€" February 18. It is that time of the month for you, Aquarius, and I’m not talking about periods. You will become infatuated with a person whom loathes the very thought of you. You will often think inappropriately about this person, and these thoughts will beam directly into your mothers head. You should feel ashamed.

      Pisces: February 19 â€" March 20. This is your month to shine, Pisces, for the sun will be in line with Mars. People will use you for food, money, sex, and drugs. After they are done, they will toss you aside like a used tissue. You are useless on normal conditions. Enjoy the attention while people are interested in you.

      Aries: March 21 â€" April 20. Your wealth will be withdrawn, Aries. Your current relationship will begin to crumble, and the only way to tape it back together is buying all the expensive crap your partner wants. If you fail to purchase their selfish wants, they will leave you, causing expensive lawsuits which you will lose. Even if you do buy everything, your partner will leave you, because they have obviously found someone better, because it wouldn’t be difficult.

      Taurus: April 21 â€" May 20. This is the time of year for realization, Taurus. People tell you that everything is your fault, because it is. You are a horrible person, constantly making mistakes; people hate you due to your lack of ability, you can see this in effect when you are the last one picked for the dodge ball team. People would care less if you vanished off the face of the Earth.

      Gemini: May 21 â€" June 21. Compassion is your middle name, Gemini. This is your downfall, whenever you meet someone new, you immediately begin flirting. The people you flirt with know that you are ugly and that you should stop trying to get in bed with them. You are a dirty slut and a main contributor to the worlds STDs.

      Cancer: June 22 â€" July 22. Oh, you gluttonous pig, Cancer. You have attempted many diets, yet nothing seems to work. This is because you were born fat, and you will stay fat. Bulimia couldn’t make you any skinnier. You are a disgusting slob, and everyone hates you. Go eat yourself, fatty.

      Leo: July 23 â€" August 22. Fortune will not be yours this week, Leo. You will shortly realize that all the things that ever went wrong with your life were because you failed miserably. You will never amount to anything, and you should wonder why your mother didn’t go through with the abortion.

      Virgo: August 23 â€" September 22. Virgo, my dear friend, you are having troubles at home. You are the main problem. You are lazy and dumbfounded at every thing that goes on. You want to be like your father, and you are, your mother had an affair with a dirty slob and had you. Congratulations, bastard.

      Libra: September 23 â€" October 22. The stars hold you in the highest, Libra. All your dreams will come true and leave you happy, until you learn that every dream that you have kills another innocent child. All your dreams will eventually cause the extinction of the world, along with the death of your own child. Have a nice day.

      Scorpio: October 23 â€" November 21. The sun burns bright with desire for you, Scorpio. Every one you touch is infected with a burning hatred for you. The kindest of gestures from you could make a person vomit in disgust. Everyone loathes the very thought of you, and everything you do is completely pointless.

      Sagittarius: November 22 â€" December 21. Wow, Sagittarius, there are just way to many problems to list for you, you should save me the trouble of telling you and just end your life as quick as possible. Stop being selfish, let other people have happier lives when you’re gone. Just remember to do it in the least messy way possible. Drowning or suffocation is preferred; no one wants to clean up after you.

      J-Land Update:
      I've been here for too long...

    • Photo Party!

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Well, I told you I would provide pictures, and now I can! IF you want to see me in Okinawa, I will gladly start a photo party, infact, I was so motivated, that last night I tried getting Hamstar to see pictures, but this was a test to see how Photo Party works, and just because I was a little bored. However, we never got to it because I had to go. However, I do want to show all my buddies all the Okinawan scenery. Sadly, my camera dropped in some water, and now I do not have a camera to use. I intend on fixing this minor problem in the near future. ANYWAY. I'll talk to you all later.

      J-Land Update.

      Getting Colder...

    • Tale from a Bard and other comments.

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Ok, first off. Fable 2 has my attention a lot. My internet sucks though...so I can't really play with any of my online friends. However, I can ask if any of you have all the Hero Dolls. I would like to get that Achievement, and I decided it best to ask people I know first rather than complete strangers in a forum. I guess that's a tale for another day....

      Finally, after a month, they RESTOCKED the Cake shirt!! I purchased it with much haste and should be shipping to me soon...Probably won't get here very fast, and It won't make it to my girlfriend by her birthday, but hopefully by Christmas. I also purchased the discounted RvB.com shirt, the hat, and the Pie shirt, seeming that I enjoy Pie and my girlfriend likes Cake. Opposites do attract it seems, even if Cake is too damn sugary.

      Gears of War 2...It SHOULD be here by the end of NEXT week...but...I'm not getting my hopes up. It will probably be here sometime in the next 2 weeks. So then I can enjoy killing you by a lucky lag shot, and scream indecent language when I drop dead due to lag 92% of the time. Again..a tale for another day...

      Alas, a J-UPDATE!

      I'm heading up to Pineapple Park sometime in December to pick up a few bottles of Pineapple Wine. That stuff is crazy delicious, and shipping the bottles to my girlfriend. I'm heading to Canada in April to spend some time with her, and I get to drink some of that delicious wine with her on our 19th month anniversary. (Don't ask why we go by months, I've asked the same thing.)

      I'll chat at you later. Next Journal, I'll be sure to include pictures, if I get enough shout outs for them.

    • Marine Corps Ball

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Good afternoon (in everyone elses cases Morning or evening).

      Tonight is the night of my Battalions USMC Birthday Ball. So, in essence, a night of hardcore drinking, and a bunch of people making a complete fool of themselves. But isn't that what it's all about? I say hell no, but what do I know? Anyway, I'm sure it will be cool, wearing my Dress Blues and all that. I wish I had my camera, but alas, taking pictures by the sea is good, but bad when you accidently drop the camera in the water... smiley2.gif both, me and my girlfriend are sad for this. No more cool Japan-Land pictures...and no more pictures of me for her. So, I have to save up for another one, which won't be hard, but a little inconvenient.

      Off the Marine Corps and Japan...Does anyone have an extra Medium "Cake" shirt from the store on Red vs Blue? I'm trying to get it for my girlfriend for her birthday, but that size is ALWAYS sold out. I'm so upset with it. They have my Large "Pie" shirt, but not her Medium "Cake" It's funny that all the people who like cake are small bodies.

      ANYWAY. I guess I'll talk to you all later. Catch you on the flip side.

      J-Land Update:

      Still freakin' rainy.

    • Tale of Fable

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Well, I just got the game....even though most of you probably are half way or have beaten it already...I'm watching the beginning cutscene...and it reminds me of Harry Potter...Anyway, I guess I have a destiny...or a fate...or a something to unfold and create for myself in this game. Talk to you all later.

      J-Land Update:

      It's rainy.

    • Revelation

      10 years ago

      Hazerblade

      Hello.

      I don't know how many people read this, nor do I know how many people care enough to do so. However, I'm slowly realizing that being hundreds of thousands of miles away from everyone and everything that you hold dear is excruciatingly painful. You don't know what goes on, you're out of the loop, and no matter how hard you try, to will never be back on par. Today I have learned of losses, of pain, of love, and of miracles, and no one had told me. I literally had to research it through emails and phone calls to get information straight. I'm already so far way physically, I don't want to be distant emotionally and mentally as well. I know that there is a lot that I personally can do to change that. Take Red vs Blue for example, I could be on here more. Talking, enjoying times. However, I don't. Why? I don't know. I've read peoples Journals, and things are revealed to me. Sorrow and happiness, pain and pleasure, problems and rewards. "Where was I?" is all I can muster in my brain. "What was I doing when all my friends, people I hold dear, are struggling, or celebrating, or just anything?" It makes me feel guilty, and horrible inside. A selfish waste of human being. I'm going to try and be on here more often. I'll try to stay connected to those whom I've grown attached to on Red vs Blue, and those I have met at RvBMN. Even if we don't meet again, I still want to stay in contact. In one form or another. I'm sorry I've been wayward. That I haven't been like a friend should be. I'm sorry that I never said anything during times of greatness, or gave you a friendly message when things looked bleak. I'm sorry everyone.

      Nathaniel

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