Holredein

Male
from 6 feet under.

  • Activity

    • Life update.

      9 years ago

      Holredein

      Well I basically stepped up to the plate, got my head out of my ass and did what I needed to in order to pass school. I passed the last quarter with all A's and B's, I had about a 3.4gpa. I am no longer friends with that girl I've talked about, yes I still love her and probably will for the rest of my life but I had to let her go because I could see what it was doing to the both of us and that needed to end. I'm no longer depressed or thinking about all those death things that I was when I wrote that really long Journal. Right now I'm doing my best to help out a dear friend of mine who is going through almost the same thing as me, and I am actually learning a lot from him. His girlfriend of 2 years broke up with him because of multiple reasons... I don't know which is actually true but these are some of them. "I don't love you and don't think I have for a long time." "It feels like you are just using me for sex." (after she said she felt like she was using him and not the other way around.) There's a few more but I'm still in bed and can't really think right now. But he is doing way better then I thought he would be and I wish i could have been like that... Yes he gets depressed sometimes but hanging out with friends really helps that. I spent an entire week hanging out with him since I got back from Oregon. I don't really know why but It was pretty fun, we played Halo 3 and MW2 every day and drank Mountain Dew, I agree that wasn't the best Choice of things to do but we had fun so I'm alright with it. So I'm going to go clean my house and stuff... so yeah thanks for reading! =)

    • I havent heard this song in ages!

      9 years ago

      Holredein

      I love this song so much because it is so much like me with all my friends and family...

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBvEJp4i7t0&feature=related

    • Long time no see.

      9 years ago

      Holredein

      Well it has been a really long time since i wrote a journal and just thought that i should write down what im thinking about since its been keeping me up at night for the past 3 days...
      What If i went to sleep tonight and never woke up in the morning? How long would it take for someone to notice that im either dead or in a coma? I doubt anyone would notice for at least a day...
      What if i woke up and found out i had cancer and only 1 week to live? What would I do? What more could i do? Tell the girl i love that When i said "I can't live without you" i really meant it? She told me that she loves me too but she isn't good enough for me.
      Would I go to my school and just go around telling people goodbye?
      Would I not tell anyone and let them find out after im dead?
      Sometimes....OFTEN I wish that i could go to sleep and not wake up in the morning, but die in my sleep with no pain. So i don't have to suffer another day. The girl I love agrees with me that she tortures me and yet she doesn't stop. She tries to make my future better by making my present Hell. She wants me to get over her so she tries to get me to hate her. She has been trying to get over the fact that she loves me as well... She broke up with me because she said that if we stayed together my life would get ruined. That was almost a year ago. Since then i have failed 4 classes in school, stopped going to martial arts, tried to commit suicide, my body is literally breaking down, cant sleep, losing friends, I haven't been happy since the last day i spent with her. ETC. I wonder what she was thinking when she thought that my life would honestly get better... I guess im just ranting on now but i really don't know what else to do. I seem to get my thoughts out better when i write. Doesn't matter who im writing to or if im just scribbling down random thoughts onto paper. I don't expect many people to read this since it is so long but if you do get to this point...well thank for spending the time. There is a lot more that i am and have been thinking about but I really don't think someone would want to spend hours reading this...

    • I FUCKING HATE THIS HOUSE!

      9 years ago

      Holredein

      TOTAL WTF MOMENT... Today I mentioned to my mom that my dad owed me money and then somehow we started talking about her owing me money from when she took all my savings out of my bank account without asking me and then i mentioned that it wasnt a big deal just like the Walking stick she said she would buy for me. So by now i just want to get over the arguing and the money and walkingstick didnt really matter much to me but my mom just wont drop it, so she follows me up the stairs and starts fighting with me about her "not" owing me money and i gave it to her. Also that I am making a big deal out of nothing (even though i tried to walk away telling her its no big deal) and she starts yelling and swearing at me about how i use all these things against her. SO I just tell her that she hasent been listening to me because she just said the same thing about me making a big deal out of nothing twice after i told her at least 4 times that it doesnt really matter that much to me and I will buy the walking stick and she doesnt owe me anything...

    • WTF

      10 years ago

      Holredein

      Ok so now my mom is mad at me for not being gratefull for everything that has been happening to me...i didnt know what to say...we just fought...This is what has happened in the past 3 months :

      Finally asked out the girl i love --- Good thing
      Left the next week 4300 miles away --- Bad thing
      Found out my dad spent all my money before i got to his house --- Bad thing
      Didnt get the job i was promised ---Bad thing
      Didnt get the other job i was promised --- Bad thing
      Girlfriend broke up with me --- Bad thing
      Bought a BB gun --- Good thing
      Crashed on an ATV wrecking my left shoulder --- Bad thing
      Couldnt play with BB gun cuz of shoulder in a sling --- Bad thing
      Didnt have anything to do so i watched TV and got into a shit load of trouble --- Bad thing
      Missed Picture taking and other stuff for school --- Bad thing
      Came back to Hawaii --- Kinda good thing
      Went Camping even though i felt like crap the whole time --- Bad thing
      Was promised to only camp for 2 days...ended up being 4 --- Bad thing
      Got really sunburnt --- Bad thing
      Went to school broke my foot during lunch --- Bad thing
      Ex Hates me and wants me to die --- Bad thing
      Doctor screws me over and cancles my appointments so i cant get a cast --- Bad thing
      Whole lot of Shitty stuff at school blah blah blah --- Bad things
      Finally able to sorta walk after almost 6 weeks of having to use crutches --- Good thing

      There and my mom still is mad at me for not being gratefull for everything that has been happening even though i have told her more than once how gratefull i am for the few good things...

    • FML!

      10 years ago

      Holredein

      Okay so both of my parents owe me money, My dad owes me money for me paying for his Bowling,food,beer,etc. Then my mom owes me money for taking all my money out of my savings and spending it on bills or something, They both wont pay me back i guess because they think they do enough for me. So 10 years of saving is gone and my dad has all my stuff from Wisconsin (BB gun, Clothes,toys,etc) I hate my life again...Plus my mom doesnt like when i go to my friends house...even though i have been his friend for 10 years so i wont be able to work much if at all in order to make more money...also my brother fucked everything up for me while he was here so people do not want to hire me and most places where i live are crap anyway...

    • Yay me!

      10 years ago

      Holredein

      Okay, so it has been close to six weeks since I broke my foot and I have had to use crutches. Well today I thought to myself, "Why don't I just try to walk..." So i set my crutches aside and guess what? I CAN FINALLY FUCKING WALK!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy to be able to walk again! I never thought I would be happy to be able to walk around..but since I wasn't able to for almost six weeks I couldn't wait for this day.

    • More at school

      10 years ago

      Holredein

      FUCK! I tried to work with my friend on the poster and he fucking ruined it! I can't believe someone is able to ruin something that fast! As soon as we start he puts a huge black print mark thing on it at completely ruins my poster! So i tried to ignore it and it didn't work...So i tied on the other side of the paper and guess what??? HE FUCKING RUINS THAT TOO!!!! So now i give up on the $500 dollars and the 2 day stay at a 4 star bed and breakfast...i fucking give up cuz i have no time left on the poster.....I fucking hate school!!!!

    • School...

      10 years ago

      Holredein

      School pisses me off...I am actually trying to do well in school this year and so many fucking things are going wrong! I mean WTF?!? First my foot breaks so i cant do PE, then i miss 5 days of school cuz of doctors appointments, then I do a journal about the Crusades and I get it back from my teacher with a fat ZERO on it cuz i said Beer in it...then my English teacher wont let me turn in the missing work that i had to do while i was absent cuz its more than a day late!!! Then I have to do a Poster for a Peace Parade and I get kicked out of all the groups i try to join! So now i have to do a 22"x28" poster by myself and have it finished by the 11th! WHY DOES ALL THIS SHIT HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME THIS YEAR NOT TO MENTION MY EX RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE?!?!?!?!?!? This all started when i went out with Chenoa...she stole all of my good luck dammit...pisses me off...

    • Im over it...

      10 years ago

      Holredein

      Im over life i wish i could just die and get out of everyones life because it seems that all i ever do is fuck everything up and im too stupid to realize i did untill its too late...the one i truly love doesnt give a shit about me and that really hurts...she wants me to hate her but i never will i will only hate myself that much more every day...i can barely sleep at night and i just want to stay away from everyone so i dont ruin anyone elses life...i think i know people but its the opposite...and people think they know me but actually im not a happy person...no im a depressed little piece of shit bitchy boy that wants attention so i tease myself, make jokes, and pretend to be happy but im over it....oh well Shit happenes i guess...and i happened so whatever...

  • Comments (74)

    • kenshinta

      9 years ago

      Dude. I seem to have lost a bunch of contacts due to Meebo D: Gimme your IM again.

    • kenshinta

      10 years ago

      Darn, you were on and I missed you.

    • Holredein

      10 years ago

      yeha i added him haha yeah i havent been on in like forever lol

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      10 years ago

      hey you!!
      you haven't been on in ages!!
      oh by the way...
      Jerry's the Pixy808BOB dude if you want to add him or anything.

    • Omega222

      11 years ago

      no

    • launch_exe

      11 years ago

      Hey Evan, are they still after your Lucky Charms?

    • Neko_chan17

      11 years ago

      that... would be me....

    • Omega222

      11 years ago

      hi

    • Desert_Punk

      11 years ago

      MERRY CHRISTMAS

    • Desert_Punk

      11 years ago

      Happy Thanksgiving

    • Novalyfe

      11 years ago

      hey your evan right

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      11 years ago

      100_3203.jpg

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      11 years ago

      *nibble nibble*
      mmmhhhhmm....
      you're toes taste like cat.
      *nibble nibble*
      d(^o^)b
      mm nmm
      ^your toes^ (your missing one because I ate it already)

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      11 years ago

      BLECH!!!!!!!!
      no, not bleach.
      it's blech.
      (bl-ec-h)
      sounds liek peck but with bl instead of p.

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      11 years ago

      iiiiiV3>I 3AO7 I


      (look upside down if you don't know what it means.)

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      11 years ago

      I'm bored....
      so I'm going to leave you a lot of comments.
      ^_^

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      11 years ago

      BORING!!!!
      you're not on Roosterteeth any more.
      what happened?
      oh and if you're on before Wednesday or Saturday, give me a call.
      k well, talk to you later.

    • Novalyfe

      11 years ago

      evan this is dolen sara made me a roosterteeth account

    • Rasengan999

      12 years ago

      what dude your so young, only 999 to the googolplex power. I'm 9999 googol to the googolplex power (lol)

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      Dude...
      You start school tomorrow.
      Just like Oly...
      Wah...
      I'm all alone and I have to wait until Wednesday to see you.
      Not fair.
      Oh well.

    • Lamborg

      12 years ago

      Hi Evan,

      It's me, Joe. Send me a friend request, OK?

    • olyguacamole

      12 years ago

      omg im soooooo bored evan =[[
      when you get the chance.. leave me a comment or something and make me happy =]]
      thank-a you!
      so how was the movie with keith today?
      is he ok?
      last night he was talking about killing himself and it really worried me..
      oh and can u come to town tomorrow?

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      HAHAHA!!!!
      I'm talking to you on the phone!!!
      FUN!!!!

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      It's just that you weren't answering me before.
      That's all.
      You take awhile to answer back you know.
      LOL
      :P

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      Hello...
      Answer me....

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      EVAN!!!!!!!

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      Why were you confused about my poem?

    • olyguacamole

      12 years ago

      evan!!
      hi.

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      blah....
      I'm so bored....
      Nobody's talking to me and right after you left Kea left...
      I don't get him.
      I'm so sad!!!
      Oh and don't read my journals.
      well...
      You can if you want to it's just that they'll make you upset.

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      /\____/\
      (>0.0<) Copy Kitty into your profile to help her get more power
      ("")_("")_/' than Bunny and so that she can conquer the world!!!!

    • LoNeLyLoVe

      12 years ago

      I know you and I want you to add me now!!!!
      Nah take your time.
      Well I miss you and I want to talk to you later.
      Call me.
      You should know my number.

    • kenshinta

      12 years ago

      site mods took away my Itachi sasuke pic...*cries*

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      Can u please go to the link below and leave 2 votes for Desert_punk it would be appreciated and he has fallen behind (u are allowed to vote twice an hour).

      www.roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=1712492&page=17

      Ps. If u vote every hour that would be so great

    • kenshinta

      12 years ago

      some random stuff

      stupid song

      itachis secret

      happy together

    • olyguacamole

      12 years ago

      ok i am very bored, sick of myspace (at the moment), wide awake, eating salami, and isn't thingy cute? ?
      lol i think so
      well back to my salami cuz no ones here XD
      ????????????????????????????????????????????????

    • kenshinta

      12 years ago

      u should put more pics.

    • sighmin

      12 years ago

      evy yo dude kan i tlk 2 yooh on this tingy?

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      Ya thanks evan some1 has been neg modding me alot

    • dejablue

      12 years ago

      i whould if you i could but cant sice you FR thing is gone

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      www.myspace.com/Joyriddr ADD ME

    • GMFRK_00

      12 years ago

      wow whats the occasion?

    • olyguacamole

      12 years ago

      ello

    • stormmy

      12 years ago

      Hey Evan! hows yooh?

    • beardedragon

      12 years ago

      no its a dragon lol

    • Rasengan999

      12 years ago

      WTF how the hell did you become a sponsor to

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      YAY I AM A SPONSOR NOW

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME VOTE FOR ME
      www.roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=1670366

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    • Omega222

      12 years ago

      eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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