1.) Eyes forward. From the moment you walk in the door, until the moment you leave the most interesting thing in the menÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s room, is the wall you are staring at. (Who knows, maybe there is a nice little bathroom haiku awaiting your approval)
2.) There is no such thing as Ã¢â‚¬ËœfriendsÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ in the menÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s room. In fact, I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t even notice you standing there because the wall in front of me is so damned interesting.
3.) Silence is goldenÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ no pun intended. DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t talk to me while I am focused on my wall. I am thinking deeply about the haiku in front of me.
4.) What did I tell you? Eyes forward! You have your own haiku over there!
5.) No leaning on the divider. Not only are you violating my territorial bubble during this time, but you are providing me something else to aim at. You have been warned.
6.) DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t spit in the urinal. I mean, seriously, you are already calming the internal need to mark your territory. Do you really need to clear your throat and spit into it as well? You are hereby in violation to etiquette rule #3.
7.) DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t talk to yourself. Not only are you in violation to etiquette rule #3, but you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to know what I think youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re talking to. Certainly isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t me since I still have not acknowledged your presence as I am studying the booger someone left behind to be scrutinized.
8.) No singing or humming. This isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t the time to practice for your tryouts to American Idol. And, again, please refer back to etiquette rule #3.
9.) Do not leave the stall until there is no one there to see you do it. I certainly do not want to know who left that horrible smell and I am sure you wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want that either. Rumors spread fast and before you know it, everywhere you go a can of air freshener will accompany you.
10.) No picking your face at the mirror. This is just disgusting.
1.) This is THE place to talk about secrets. Like Vegas, what is said in the bathroom, STAYS in the bathroom.
2.) Always bring a friend.
3.) When youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re done with that magazine, pass it through. Oh, and make sure to exclaim loudly when you see something interesting in it so they know what to look for once they get it.
4.) Any makeup you bring with you is considered Ã¢â‚¬Ëœcommunity makeupÃ¢â‚¬â„¢. DonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t bring it if you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t plan on sharing.
5.) Talk openly about your boyfriend/husband/lover and with anyone who happens to be there to listen. Please refer to etiquette rule #2 as the friend often times adds to the story what you may have failed to mention on your own.
6.) Advise everyone you have just told this story, to walk out and look at your boyfriend/husband/lover so that he sees them do it. This creates in him the feeling of being uncomfortable and a curiosity that you fully intend on exploiting later.
7.) All disputes will be settled here. Some woman eyeing your man? Bring her in here and discuss the matter before the committee! Remember etiquette rule #2 so you have another person there to assist you with getting otherÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s to side with you.
8.) The mirror is the most important part of the room. You MUST spend a minimum of five (5) minutes looking into it!
9.) Talk to the stall next to you. They appreciate the company and itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a lot like instant messaging. You can hear their voice and never have to see them.
10.) Do notÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ I repeat, DO NOT at any time leave ANY trash on the floor! What do you think this is, the menÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s room?
13 years agoIllusion187
13 years agoIllusion187
-=What Men Want=-
This in itself is a question without an answer. What do men want? No freakin clue. Seriously, I have been a guy for over 25 years now and I still have no idea what so ever just what the hell I am searching for in terms of a relationship.
Love is a four letter word thrown around so much that it does not hold the meaning it once did.
Animals make great companions.
Someone to walk beside me through thick and thin?
Easy to find someone who will walk through the Ã¢â‚¬ËœthinÃ¢â‚¬â„¢, but not so easy to find someone willing to walk through the Ã¢â‚¬ËœthickÃ¢â‚¬â„¢.
SoÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ the question remains. Just what the hell do men want?
A guy and a young woman are making out and things progress to the point where clothes are being shed on the floor faster then they were probably being put on in the first place.
The guy sees: Things are going VERY well
The guy hears: I love you (First time)
The guy thinks: What? UmÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ What?
The guy says: I uhÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ Love you too. (Nervous smile follows)
-=Why did the guy just say that? It is possible that he really does love her, but in moments such as these; that is the last thing he is thinking about. Remember, God gave men a brain and a tool but only enough blood to operate one at a time. Ladies, if this is the first time you have heard your man say those words, he said it to keep things progressing the way he wanted them to. If however, you hear these words as he is looking into your eyes over a candle lit dinner, then the likeliness of it being the truth is raised exponentially.
A guy is sitting on the couch watching his favorite action movie or sports game. His lovely woman walks in, stands in front of the TV, and begins a conversation that he would rather not be in. Probably due to something he did wrong in the first place.
The guy hears: Honey, you told me you would do the yard today. When are you going toÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ mumbleÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ mumbleÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ mumble (He has figured out a way to use the gaps between her arms and legs to still view the television as she is speaking to him)
The guy thinks: Damn! That was an awesome play!
The guy says: I love you, baby.
The guy sees one of a possible three reactions:
1.) She simply scowls and walks away
2.) She smiles at him and goes back to what she was doing originally
3.) She smiles and decides to sit next to him.
-=Why did the guy say Ã¢â‚¬ËœI love youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢? Because he knew that by saying it, at the very least he would be able to resume watching the game/movie. He didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t say those words because they came from the heart; he said them out of necessity.
This is presented to prove two points actually. One being that the phrase Ã¢â‚¬ËœI love youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ no longer holds the meaning and significance that it once did. People throw these words around all the time as if they were words without any real meaning. To a guy however, those words have another added availability. Unless we screwed up extremely badly, those three words are used to immediately dismantle any and all scenarios where we are getting chastised for reasons that are probably accurate. So, am I searching for love? Sure, but not for something as shallow and meaningless as that.
To a lot of guys, companionship is something that we really donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t put a lot of weight on. Sure, we appreciate that there is someone around to talk with but itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s normally a very shallow type of companionship based on necessity. Allow me to explain.
To a lot of guys out there a companion is simply a stepping stone to something we want, need, or just donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want someone else to have. Sounds cold? It is. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t hear guys standing around and talking about their feelings and how their dog did the cutest thing today when then got home. Guys donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t really feel comfortable talking about their feelings because it is a demonstration of weakness. I know it sounds ludicrous, but to a lot of guys it is simple truth. To expose your feelings is to expose your heart, and to expose your heart means allowing the possibility for someone to reach out and rip it out, throw it on the ground in front of you, and then happily stomp on it as you watch helplessly. For this reason I believe there are few men that have actual companions. Even if they do it is normally a single person or perhaps two, and in addition that one person is most likely their significant other. So, to all the wonderful women that may be reading this, even though your guy may have a lot of friends to talk with, most likely you are their only true companion.
Am I looking for companionship? Sure, but companionship that actually means something.
Someone to walk through the Ã¢â‚¬ËœthickÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ and Ã¢â‚¬ËœthinÃ¢â‚¬â„¢:
This one is difficult. If a man and woman are together then a lot of guys feel it is their duty (obligation) to make the path as Ã¢â‚¬ËœthinÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ as possible. If things get Ã¢â‚¬ËœthickÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ along the way, we take it as a personal failure.
From the moment we are of age to have conversations with dear old dad we are told that a mans most precious duty is to supply and defend the woman he loves. More so then that, there are those men that believe that ALL women deserve the utmost in respect and should be treated as a rare gem at all times. These men are rare, but believe meÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ they exist and are often times overlooked by the ones that canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t seem to muster up any kind of respect for anyone what so ever.
It is very easy to find someone to walk beside you when things are going well. The money is coming in nicely, the bills are paid in full and on time, the job is consistent and everything seems to be working like a well oiled machine. When things suddenly take a turn for the worse however, it is a direct blow to the guy. Sure, it may not be his fault at all but regardless he views it as such.
13 years agoIllusion187
I am a writer by trade, but more so by aspiration. Writing as an art is meant to do the same things as any other art... inspire conversation, interest, and sometimes controversy.
As long as the writing is pure and a representation of that person in some way, whether it be humor, politics, drama, action, personal stance on issues that effect everyone; then at least the writer is not compromising his work to fit the mold of society.
13 years agoIllusion187
Ahhh... The classic question of that 8th wonder of the world... women. To fully understand women, we must first understand what women want. What do women want? Hell, I don't know or they wouldn't be the 8th wonder of the world. The moment you think you got it figured out, the rules change without any notification what so ever and you find yourself looking at your lovely woman and wondering just what the hell happened. Here are some examples of what women say they want, followed by what they REALLY want.
-=What Women Want=-
Women ask: Honey, do these pants make me look fat?
Guys think: No... It's your fat that makes you look fat.
Guys say: Not at all, baby. You are beautiful and I am so lucky to have you.
-=Why do we say that? Because they say they want the truth but we know the truth will wind up banning us from any sexual contact what so ever for at least a few weeks. In addition, she will hold unto the truthful answer for MONTHS and bring it up again at a socially crippling time.
Women ask: Darling, if I die before you, will you remarry?
Guys think: Remarry... no. I am not all that impressed with this experience so rather then redo it; I'll just play around for a while.
Guys say: Never. You are the only woman for me now. You'll be the only woman for tomorrow. And you will continue to be the only woman for me long after you pass.
-=Why do we say that? Because again, we know that the honest answer will carry with it grave consequences including some uncomfortable nights on the living room couch.
Women say they want time together... as long as that time is spent doing the things THEY want to do. It's not enough to go fishing or hunting with your lovely lady for a long weekend and if you think that, I pity you. What they really want is for you to go shopping and hold their bags as they look around for endless hours at items that any normal man can barely tell apart anyways. And, of course, if you say anything about the uncomfortable situation you suddenly find yourself in then you are only setting yourself up for... you guessed it, another lonely night on the couch.
Sharing of feelings:
Women say all the time that they wish us guys would express our feelings more often. The problem with that is simple. Guys have no feelings. We present them well to our significant other, or if we spotted someone we would like to see in a much more horizontal position, but we really don't have any. In those rare cases a guy actually HAS feelings and makes the mistake of showing them off constantly, we are labeled as being 'too sensitive' and 'having a lot of baggage'. (This of course works both ways) Of course, if you walk out of the latest chick flick and mumble 'that was stupid' a little too loud under your breath so that she hears you then you may end up in the same bed together at the end of the night but the moment you move in for the kill you will hear... 'You sure it's not too stupid?' You may as well just head down to the couch; it will be warmer there anyways.
Men often times confuse this with the ability to handle anything that comes your way. Being strong enough to make sure that nothing adverse happens to your lovely woman at any time. Someone spouts off something and you're right there, beating the ever loving shit out of the guy. Security... right? Not so much. Security to a lot of women means money. What's worse is it's not just any money, it's YOUR money. That's right, sign your paycheck over them moment you get it because your name on the envelope was obviously a mistake. Now, this is not always the case but women anymore are bombarded by songs that suggest that a man without a Bentley and a couple hundred thousand in his pockets at any given time is worthless. It doesn't matter if you could easily bloody the son of a bitch driving the Bentley, he still has the damn thing and you don't. Security anymore is not a reference to the old hunter/gatherer mentality. It is a reference to how much you are worth... or going to be in the future. If you lost your job today... the couch is waiting.
And lastly... at least for this quick study...
Women are quick to say that they love you just the way you are. Of course that means they love you just the way you are as long as you are exactly what they want you to be. When you first meet you are probably wearing some pants that have been through some memorable times, shoes that are falling apart but have gone the distance, a shirt that indiscreetly displays what you may have had for lunch that day... or even dinner the evening before, and of course underwear that has been turned inside out and worn for an additional 3 days even though there is an unopened package of new ones sitting on your dresser. You don't care, you're a guy! You're celebrating your manliness by proudly displaying clothes that hold memorable value to you. Then... you started dating her for a few days. Now... you're wearing new jeans that are extremely uncomfortable as they are not worn in, a shirt that should have never seen the light of day, shoes that you don't even remember looking at, and you have worn a new pair of underwear every... single... day... and the rash is REALLY beginning to bother you. She changed you. You see, consistency is not about remaining constant, at least not in this matter. Consistency hear means that you are now her own personal Ken doll and she will change your outfit, your attitude, youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re thought processes as many times as she deems fit. Bring it up to her and... Yet again... the couch is waiting. Only now, it's not the comfortable couch that went through so many sports games with youÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a freakin love seat that has t
13 years agoIllusion187
Question: Have you ever reached a time in your life that you know, just know without a doubt, that the decision you make at that point will ultimately affect the rest of your life?
Admittedly, these situations occur quite infrequently and in most cases are not realized until the moments afterwards anyways. However, there are those very rare situations where a decision arises and you suddenly feel as if you are standing on a 100-story high-rise looking over the edge. Do you take a leap of faith, or do you simply turn around and walk the other way? Whatever decision you make, will forever change the path of the rest of your life. What do you do?
By taking the leap of faith and pressing forward you run the risk of finding out without a doubt that there really is nothing there but darkness and sooner or later you will hit the ground with only the resounding sound of failure to accompany you. On the other hand, you also run the risk of finding that the darkness is merely a temporary obstacle and, once overcame, can lead to much greater rewards. Both possibilities require you to go through moments of uncertainty, but what part of life is ever really certain in the first place.
By turning and walking the other way, you give yourself a sense of comfort and certainty that you know what is ahead and can deal with it accordingly. You become confident in your surroundings and know that everything is in place and there are no surprises. Life is a tricky thing however. The moment you figure you have everything figured out; life laughs and is prompt to prove you wrong. By taking the path that seems to be clear and pleasant, you may be setting yourself up for a much more intense turn of events or become completely stagnant in your life and never progress any further at all.
There are many people that are extremely happy where they are with no desire to change things. There are also many people on the other end of that spectrum that would trade all that they have to be in a better position then what they are in currently.
Life, however, is essentially a series of never ending decisions that determine the world around us. Each persons 'reality' in their lives is one that has been created by the decisions they have made along the way. When you look deeper into it however, every decision made affects everything after it, including the people around you and in most cases in ways you will never know.
With all this in mind, we go back to the original question. Have you ever been faced with a decision that you knew would forever change your life? Keeping in mind that there is nothing certain in life other then at one point it will end, then no matter the decision you make, it is surrounded by uncertainty. A given path may hide the fact much better then the other option, but the reality of the situation is that whatever choice you make does not present a guarantee of anything. So there you stand. Looking of the ledge and contemplating the decision before you. Wait too long and life chooses for you and in most cases that is not too pretty either.
What do you do?
13 years agoIllusion187
Well, Christmas is over and a whole new year is right around the corner. To a lot of people a new year brings resolutions on how you, or perhaps someone else in the case of you married people, can better themselves. (I don't know about you, but my ex-wife was pretty damn good at making resolutions for me while thinking she was right as rain... the outcome of that is obvious to say the least.)
There are a lot of people that will look at the new year and say things like, 'this looks like a great year to stop smoking' or 'this would be a killer year to loose those extra pounds' or, my personal favorite, 'this is the year I finally make it to the top'. Just remember that your version of the top is normally someone elseÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s version of the bottom. It's all in the perspective. I have never understood the whole new years resolution thing though.
I am a 25 year old man. Now since the majority of this time was based on decisions made by others, I will take away that time and start counting from the year that all decisions in my life were made mainly by me. This leaves me with about 10 years of total accountability for my own actions. For those of you that are older then obviously the number you're left with may be significantly higher. Sorry for the reminder. In any case, for almost 10 years I have been in complete control of my life and it's direction. For almost 10 years, I have been blazing my own path in the world and discovering things on my own. For 10 years, I have been trying to establish just who I am and where I want to be. In the span of almost 10 years, I have become the man I am today.
For 10 years I have established some things about myself that are now deeply engrained into my character. I believe in honor and integrity, so I choose to practice those on a daily basis. I believe in respect and being polite, so I give both freely and expect them in return. I believe that a life full of excuses is a sad way to live, so I choose not to make any for my actions. I believe in a strong Christian background of faith and understanding, so I practice them to the best of my ability at all times. And lastly and most recently, I believe that by being the best father to my daughter as possible I am becoming a man that will be remembered, if only by his family.
Right about here you are probably reading this and saying to yourself, Ã¢â‚¬Ëœso whatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s your point?Ã¢â‚¬â„¢. A brand new year is upon us and societyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s tradition suggests that its time to choose a particular characteristic that I may not like very much and take steps to change it. My question is simple. Why?
Will making a change affect the outcome of the following year? I highly doubt it. Will making a change affect who I interact with and if I make new acquaintances? I also doubt that. The only thing that will change is something I have been comfortable with for quite some time. The only reason I would be changing it is because people around me or society itself has decided it is no longer acceptable. So again I ask, why? Have the people around me made my decisions for me before hand? No. Has society made any of my decisions? It may have had some influence but the final decision was still mine to make.
If you are going to make a new yearÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s resolution this year, make it this. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. Know who you are and where you are going. Make no excuses for the person you are, and most importantly, do what you feel is right and not what others have determined is right for you.
13 years agoIllusion187
Ahhhh, the day after Thanksgiving. I am surprised they don't dedicate today as a national holiday as well. I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and are able to roll themselves to their destinations with no trouble. :) Unfortunately, I have to work today but on the bright side it is extremely slow. I guess most people are holding illegal wrestling matches in parking lots for that hot Christmas item they all want.
Yesterday was a good day though. Just a small get together with my daughter and her grandmother. (Grandmothers make the best pie's... mmmmm) *wiping drool off the keyboard* I had to spend extra time in the gym this morning however and there are still more goodies awaiting me once I get off work. The holidays, great as they are, are terrible for someone who likes to watch how much junk they ingest. Running two miles with a couple pieces of pie weighing you down is not on the top of my fun list.
And now, we look forward to Christmas. I can't believe this year has gone by so damn fast. Next year my little girl will turn 3... wow. Anyways, hope everyone is surviving this years Black Friday and let the countdown to Christmas begin.
-=Tell me freaks, where are you from?
-=All hail, the New York Giants!
13 years agoIllusion187
Hello everyone and Happy Thanksgiving! (I know its early but I won't be around tomorrow to write anything... probably passed out after eating too much food)
Today is a good day. I visit the site while at work to try and counter the mundane ritual and I don't have to be here tomorrow. Thank goodness for national holidays! On the down side however, I will have to be here Friday. Can't say I am too bummed though, better then trying to drive through the city on the biggest shopping day of the year. Not like there aren't enough idiots on the road these days, Friday they will all be on the road with a mission and no intelligence to guide them.
Anyways, either my mind has already taken its holiday or I simply have run out of things to write today. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.
-=If your not having a particularly good day at your job, does anyone ever come up to you and say 'someone has a case of the mondays'?
-=No. No man. Shit no! I believe you'd get your ass kicked for that.
13 years agoIllusion187
Hello everyone! Thanksgiving draws closer and closer. That very special day when one turkey gives up his life to feed the many other turkeys gathered around the table arguing over who gets the neck. Alas however, there has been other big news this week!
Xbox 360 has released today!
(And the people rejoiced... yay)
From most reports, the gigantic release party last night went off without a hitch. Sadly, I was not a part of it. There is this damnable thing called work that I had to attend today in order to pay for the 360. I will be waiting for the initial hype to pass over though when I can just stroll in, pick it up, and walk out without some idiot trying to tackle me and rip it from my arms.
There have been some reports however that the release was not as pleasant as expected. By some peoples experience although they were positioned in the first shipment they were turned away. Now, I completely understand the stance of 'keep them wanting more' in terms of marketing but really now. If you know there are people that have been waiting for literally months to get their hands on the system they paid for months in advance, send enough of the damn things to cover them! It's not a complete surprise to me though. Playstation did the exact same thing when they released the PS2, only shipping 500,000 the first month.
I know its early and most people are still playing their brand spanking new system. There are even those of you that have yet to sleep, probably in the past few days since you had to wait in line all day yesterday for the release party. I am curious however on the initial thoughts on the system.
What you expected?
If there are people that actually read this humble journal of mine, I would appreciate your input on this.
Also... PS3 is on the horizon. Do you think it poses any threat to the new Box or has Microsoft firmly planted its feet at the pinnacle of this round of console wars? (We all know Nintendo, great as they were back in the day, has been shadow boxing in the corner with the special students for years now, so there is no threat there)
No questions have been answered yet