JWy

Male
from Leeds, UK

  • Activity

    • Dear WB Marketing Dept.

      5 years ago

      JWy

      Dear WB marketing department. I'm not expert on marketing a $150 million Hollywood film, poised to be a summer blockbuster but I personally think it's not wise to put your big reveal in the trailer. You see films, 9 times out of 10, have what is called The Money Shot, No, not that kind of money shot, this is the scene or shot that really make the audience go, 'Man, that's why I paid money to see this film.'.
      When thinking of a new western reboot of the Godzilla franchise, one would think that the reveal of Godzilla itself, along with his signature howl, would be the money shot & would be kept close to the chest.
      I'm a person alive in 2014, I hear the word Godzilla, I think of a character who is up with Superman, the 1st of the genre who is beloved & has inspired many like it & I know it's a giant nuclear bomb hit dinosaur hybrid that love to wreck shit or defend humans, depending on his mood, as do most of the movie going public.
      All you need to do was show a bit of destruction, a few of the actors & flash up the word 'GODZILLA'. When you assume the movie going public don't know who Godzilla is, you assume they're fucking idiots & it's a bit insulting.
      But I'm in no position to say anything or give criticism for your premature money shot in the trailer but I can compare your trailer to that of a western made film about a giant monster destroying a city, Cloverfield, no monster in the trailer & the toy of the monster came out a significant time after the movie came out on home release.
      Oh & looking back, the terrible Godzilla 98 didn't show the King of Monsters in the trailer.
      That said WB, can't wait for Edge of Tomorrow, Intersteller & Hobbit 3 and I Loved the LEGO Movie...hey! that's got a massive reveal that wasn't in any of the trailers, see, you can do, you just need to try!

    • Cuban Fury Abridged 2/2

      5 years ago

      JWy

      Scene 4


      ROY OFF IT CROWD has walked up to NICK FURY

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      Alright dickhead, what's this about Lovejoy giving you dance lessons?

      NICK FURY
      Yeah, he has, what's it to you, you shit?

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      Well you'll never be as good as me, cos I'm well good at dancing, Michael Flatly is my dad cos we are both Irish, so you can fuck right off with your dancing cos my dad is Lord of the Dance & that makes me a Price, a prince of dance you fat fuck.

      NICK FURY
      The only way Tap dancing will help you out in a salsa competition is when you tap out & submit to my awesome dancing.

      ROY OF THE IT CROWD
      Well we'll see who's tapping our American boss Rash's sweet & sultry slice when she drops her lush lower lips onto the knob of the winner, which is going to be me.

      NICK FURY
      Save it for the dance floor Roy Off The IT Crowd.

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      I will, by the way Nick, I have something of yours.

      NICK FURY
      Oh yeah, what's that

      ROY OFF IT CROWD put his hand in his pocket

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      I believe this is yours.
      [He pulls out his hand to reveal his middle finger raised, he gives NICK FURY the finger]

      ROY OFF IT CROWD slowly backs away, letting the weight of his drastic actions set in.


      Scene 5


      It's the dance tournament LOVEJOY is the MC, ROY OF THE IT CROWD & NICK FURY are poised to enter the final, it's down to those 2 now, they are both wearing spangily outfits that are up to the eyeballs in bedazzle. The crowd is going fucking apeshit, the American boss Rash is courtside, wearing a sexy outfit, perched teasingly on a steal chair.

      LOVEJOY [into microphone]
      & now ladies & gentlemen, it's time for the final dance off, please step up contestants

      ROY OF IT CROWD & NICK FURY do so.

      LOVEJOY [into microphone]
      Roy Off IT Crowd, you have 20 points & Nick Fury, you have 18 points, that gives Roy Off IT Crowd a 10 second head start into the final round. Now I want a good clean Salsa, but I want to be spicy, both of you, touch gloves.

      ROY OF IT CROWD & NICK FURY reluctantly touch gloves.

      LOVEJOY [into microphone]
      Roy Off IT Crowd, you will go on my first whistle, Nick Fury, you will go on my second whistle. 3, 2, 1.

      LOVEJOY blows whistle.

      ROY OF IT CROWD starts to do some salsa, the crowd are roused by the outset of the final round.

      LOVEJOY blows the whistle again

      NICK FURY starts to salsa like a mad cunt.

      Both are going at the salsa like a drunk lad at a kebab, however, NICK FURY isn't Salsaing as good as ROY OFF IT CROWD.

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      Whats the matter? Only good at salsa with the Doritos chubby, haha.

      NICK FURY
      Thats a good one, if I had some Doritos here I'd SICK EM in my mouth.
      a beat
      I said SICK EM!! in my mouth.

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      You mean stick em right? Why not eat them that a better way to say-OH MY GOD ARRGH!!!

      ROY OFF IT CROWD confusion is cut short by DOGGY the dog from scene 1, who runs like a bullet into the dance floor & starts gnawing off ROY OF THE IT CROWD's legs at the knee.

      NICK FURY keep on dancing.

      LOVEJOY
      It's All Over!! the winner of the 2014 FIFA Dance World Cup is NICK FURY!!!

      The crowd is jubilant, they are literally going mental, the American boss Rash has run over to NICK FURY, planting a massive snog on his ham drenched lips.

      LOVEJOY hands NICK FURY the Dance World Cup, which looks like the Football world cup but instead of a globe in the middle it's a ball with the word 'Room' engraved across it.

      NICK FURY kisses the cup & raises it triumphantly as confetti, glitter & WWE style pyrotechnics fill the air around them.

      RASH JONES
      What happened to Roy Off IT Crowd?

      NICK FURY
      Looks like he made a dogs dinner out of that dance.

      NICK FURY turns to the camera & winks. We freeze frame on this glorious moment for 5 seconds with St Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) by John Parr playing.

      Roll Credits.


      Here's the trailer for Cuban Fury, In Cinemas Now!!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTS4AsJprm4

    • Cuban Fury Abridged 1/2

      5 years ago

      JWy

      Valentines day & what better way to celebrate than flowers, dinner & a movie. Now movie studios always put out rom coms for Valentines, this year it's Cuban Fury & The LEGO Moive, so me & my girlfriend went to latter, but because of the CONSTANT adverts for Cuban Fury that have been going around like gonorrhea on a campus, I decided to rewrite the film in 5 scenes so you can spend your money on watching The LEGO Movie.


      Cuban Fury

      Nick Frost as NICK FURY
      Chris O'Dowd as ROY OFF IT CROWD
      Ian McShane as LOVEJOY
      Rashida Jones as RASH JONES

      Scene 1


      NICK FURY is sitting on the spider infested & frankly, shabby couch in his 1 bedroom flat in London or Birmingham or somewhere, he looks around the room at the accumulated filth of empty pizza boxes, crush cans of Carling & a myriad of spaffy kleenexs.

      NICK FURY
      Bloody hell, this place is a shit heap & needs a woman's touch. But I'm too bulbously rotund to attract any one of the opposite gender especially my new American Boss Rash, who I well fancy. I doubt I'd even get any action off of Craigslist, well I'd best just retreat to the life a fat shut in hermit, at least I have you Doggy.

      DOGGY
      Woof

      NICK FURY
      Ah my sweet dog Doggy, how I love you so much.

      NICK FURY raises his lard infested hand & pets the dog with love & tenderness.

      NICK FURY
      Come on let's watch some TV Doggy.

      NICK FURY retrieves the TV remote from under a roll of fat & turns on his TV.

      The TV is showing an episode of Strictly Come Dancing with the Stars.
      The host, Bruce Forsyth, is talking to a contestant, Rick Waller & his partner, Louis Spence

      BRUCE [On TV]
      Well Rick we all thought you were a talentless chubby twat, but now we can see you, to see you nice, are actually capable of spinning without falling over like a deflated dradle. How do you feel.

      RICK mumbles something incoherently, his voice is impacted by the bag of pork scratchings he has just mashed into his gaping maw.

      BRUCE [On TV]
      Wonderful, Wonderful, Louis, how was Rick?

      LOIUS [On TV]
      He was Wonderful, his moves are so bloody good, I've become sexually attracted to him, in fact, I'm wanking him off right now, he's that irresistible.

      NICK FURY
      Doggy I have a fantastic idea!

      NICK FURY proceeds to crack one out, after he's finished, he uses an already used napkin to wipe the baby batter of off his floor & hands.

      NICK FURY
      Now that that's done, I need to sign up for dance lessons so I can get my American boss Rash Jones to do what I just done but with her fanny.

      DOGGY woofs enthusiastically.


      Scene 2


      NICK FURY is at the office where he works with ROY OFF THE IT CROWD, they are both in the break room, there is an assortment of McVities biscuits on the counter.

      NICK
      Hey ROY OFF IT CROWD Where abouts around here does dance classes?

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      The building next door is a world renound Russian dance academy, but they do evening classes for beginners.

      NICK FURY
      Cool, I'll sign up for classes then in order to woo our American boss RASH JONES, to have a sex on my love pipe.

      ROY OFF IT CROWD
      Your gonna sign up for dance classes!
      [He laughs]
      Oh you are a funny little begger Nick, your a fat bloke, you can't dance & if you could, you can't do that cos I can already dance, so I'm gonna woo her at the big dance tournament coming up in a bit.

      NICK FURY
      Whatever Roy Of IT Crowd, I'll prove you well wrong you twat.

      NICK FURY grabs a handful of the McVitties on the counter & waddles off crying.


      Scene 3


      NICK FURY has just done a dance at the Dojo, his teacher, LOVEJOY is critiquing his performance.

      LOVEJOY
      Lemme tell ya something kid, I've seen bad but this is a whole new level, was that salsa, cos it looked like 9/11 in sweatpants.

      NICK FURY
      Sorry I've disappointed you LOVEJOY, I'll go & wank myself to sleep & forget about every twinkling my toes on a dance floor ever again.

      NICK FURY begins to walk away

      LOVEJOY
      Nick M'boy, did I ever tell you about when I taught dancing in Zimbabwe?

      NICK FURY
      I don't think you have, are you going to tell me it to inspire me to keep dancing?

      LOVEJOY
      Yeah, now sit down & pipe it, while I tells you me tale.

      NICK FURY does as instructed.

      LOVEJOY
      I was teaching dance, at a world famous Russian dance academy in the capital city of Zimbabwe. As a way to bring the community together & celebrate dance, I decided to have a dance contest, I let everyone in the country know & the entries flooded in, but then we got an entry from Robert Mugabe himself, apparently he did a cracking foxtrot, so we let him enter. But Rob Mugabe is a very sore loser, so he found the 10 best dancers in Zimbabwe & had them killed, but he didn't want to appear to be a complete twat, so kept Jimmy Couch, the best foxtrotter in Zimbabwe, alive but he chopped off his legs at the knee. Jimmy came to me & said, "Lovejoy, y'gotta help me', I says to him, "how? Your legs have been cut off at the knees, you can't hop, never mind dance' & he said, "I must try'.
      So we trained cos he had that spark, we trained cos he wanted to win, he had that fire, that x factor, that fury in him & we trained & trained some days until the wounds on his stumps reopened & covered the entire floor in his own blood & piss.

      NICK FURY
      Did he win?

      LOVEJOY
      No, he bled to death you twat, but he tried, cos he had that spark & I think you got what it takes to dance like a mad bastard. Now put that pulled pork sandwich down, we gots a dance to be learning cos I'm putting you in the tournament that's in 2 weeks.

      NICK FURY
      Yeah Boi!!!

      NICK & LOVEJOY high five

      TO BE CONTINUED

    • MCM London 13

      5 years ago

      JWy

      Sup kids, just thought I'd toss up the RT cosplays I snapped pictures of at this years event, if you spot yourself, say Hello
      1385146_10151756100103227_1185771594_n.j
      'Are you John?'
      "Yeah"
      Oh thank Christ, that would of been so awkward.
      'Great costume mate, can i get a picture?'

      1377503_10151756100493227_1068418000_n.j
      Had some wind issues with this pic #EnglandProblems

      1004982_10151756100958227_1796111072_n.j
      Great gun

      1002516_10151756101013227_2102975794_n.j
      Yang walked past & it took me like 10 secs to realise so legged it back

      1382897_10151756100773227_924800241_n.jp
      Didn't see a Vav but there was an incredible Lady X-Ray & speaking of Ray

      1382289_10151756101598227_612101578_n.jp
      Tuxedo Mask!

      It was an incredible day & next up is Thought Bubble in Leeds, see ya there!

    • 6 years ago

      JWy
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      JWy
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      JWy
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      JWy
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      JWy
    • 6 years ago

      JWy
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