Joesport90

Male
from Ohio

  • Activity

    • Poems (Cont. 2)

      12 years ago

      Joesport90

      These Tears Are Wasted
      A dark cloud coats this single thought.
      Permeating, it reaps what you have wrought:
      Sadness, so wretched, is what you've brought.
      And that's exactly what I've so longingly sought.

      Why do you keep me up at night?
      How can someone so full of light
      Leave a man so dark with plight?
      Our feelings are out of sight.

      Your eyes, they show no emotion,
      Funny, I'm not even surprised.
      You could say it was a premonition,
      That our love would be compromised.

      We drown on tears together.
      The forecast for tomorrow isn't much better.
      It's so foolish,
      To keep this false promise.

      So go ahead and leave,
      See if I stare.
      So go ahead and bleed,
      See if I care.
      _____

      Hate
      It consumes you, being dismayed and disgusted,
      But I'll continue my disgraceful strife.
      I've given you a reason, to have me distrusted,
      Yet I'll continue my deplorable life.

      Eyes fill with a cold, impassive glare.
      The scent of brimstone on lips,
      Effervescing forth to jeer,
      Disguised in your malignant cheer.

      Let me out of this steel cage,
      And let me grow my wings.
      Let me out of this war you wage,
      Against my feelings.

      I'm not acting any better,
      In fact, I'm probably worse.
      I can't say I even understand her,
      Yet my throat for her cries hoarse.

      I'm cashing a void check.
      Wrote it out to Romeo and Juliet.
      It cost me a fortune,
      I signed it "Heartbroken..."
      _____

      To Be Alone
      Pouring confessions,
      The darkest days have passed.
      Now what am I to do?
      Well I'm not through.

      No, I'm not through with you...

      Incarcerated and showed up,
      It's time to break free.
      These bonds that tie me,
      Oh God, just let me be!

      Just let me be...

      Fickle and wanton,
      I fell too fast.
      Now what am I to do,
      If we don't last?

      Well, I'm not through with you...

      Unbridled dejection,
      There's an unfamiliar burn.
      Your lack of love has made me learn,
      To no one, I can turn.

      I have no one to turn to...
      _____

      Wipe Those Tears…
      From your eyes.
      Shh, there's no reason to cry.
      Wipe those tears from your eyes.
      Hush now, there's no reason to ask why.

      Even a wound like yours will heal.
      Closing up, that cut will seal.
      Alone, you wish it wasn't real.
      But you'll still have that pain to feel.

      And now it's too late
      To fight what is chosen by fate.
      And now it's too hard
      To fight out of what love has marred.

      I might as well give up.
      Throw in the towel.
      Skip town and life, alike.

      And one night you whispered in my ear.
      "Fair is Foul, And Foul is Fair!"
      Then you gently glided into the tranquil air.
      _____

      Don't Forget Me
      I would take the risk,
      Of laying my life on the line for you.
      And no doubt meticulous,
      Are these mellifluous thoughts.

      My heart will never surrender,
      For my love for you is unimpeachable.
      Reticent is my hesitance for this.
      Such ambiguity leaves me untenable.

      But can't you see the decadence?
      Can't you see the pain?
      Off my soul, the blood I rinse,
      As I stand in pouring rain.

      Oh, can't you wash the pain away?
      Oh, stop the flow of blood!
      My mind has cause to be afraid,
      For I lay face down in the mud.

      As I lay here,
      My body begins to relax.
      The mist grants the cold, night air a chill of serenity.
      I walked a thousand miles for you
      To insinuate this harmony.
      But please, just do me one favor?

      Don't forget me...
      _____

      Vacancy
      I lost the feeling in my heart tonight.
      She ripped it out as I screamed my plight.
      I lost the feeling in my heart tonight.
      Although, it just felt so right...

      Now I can start a new life
      Without deceit and a black abyss.
      Now I can forget about you,
      And live in contented bliss.

      You could say we missed the mark,
      And we all paid a price.
      That we all made mistakes,
      And ended up in vice.

      I lost the feeling in my heart tonight.
      She ripped it out as I screamed my plight.
      I lost the feeling in my heart tonight.
      Although, it just felt so right...

      And what do I have to hold onto
      When it seems that nothing's left?
      Well, surely not my heart.
      No, surely not what's left... (of it)

      And what do I have to grip onto
      When it seems I'm always wrong?
      Well, surely not my heart.
      No, surely not what’s being done... (to it)

      I lost the feeling in my heart tonight.
      She ripped it out as I screamed my plight.
      I lost the feeling in my heart tonight.
      Although, it just felt so right...
      It just felt so right...
      So right...
      So right...
      _____

      To Try So Hard...
      I try to lift my head up high,
      But all I end up doing,
      Is hanging my head to cry.

      I try not to feel ashamed,
      But all I end up doing,
      Is pinning myself the blame.

      I try to give her the world,
      But all I end up doing,
      Is showing my fist tightly curled.

      I try not to be so depressed,
      But all I end up doing,
      Is making some progress just to regress.

      I try to tell her my feelings,
      But all I end up doing,
      Is sending my mind reeling.

      I try not to tell her I love her,
      But all I end up doing,
      Is make myself so much more sure,
      That I really do...

    • Poems (Cont.)

      12 years ago

      Joesport90

      Don't Want To Be Hurt...
      Take this heart, my love
      After all, you've taken everything else.
      Go ahead and break it, my love
      Just like you broke everything else.

      One more charm could be the best thing
      And one more lie could be the worst.
      Now your heart is never resting
      Yet it's nothing more than you deserve.

      Take this life, my darling
      After all, you've taken everything else.
      Go ahead and break it, my darling
      Just like you broke everything else.

      I didn't deserve this
      I don't have to ask why
      Your actions were amiss
      For it will just end in a sigh

      May Angels guide you in
      As you drift your way to judgment
      May Angels pardon this sin
      As you drift your way to punishment

      It's an affliction, your addiction
      I didn't want it to be an interrogation
      But I just had to ask...
      "Do you love me?"
      _____

      A Formal Apology
      Give me a sign that I'm still alive
      In this cold, cold world.
      It's my mind that writhes
      In this desolate world.

      It all happened at noon on a midwinter day.
      Such a wound and I don't know what to say,
      Except that "I'm sorry, just so sorry."
      Well let's make this a formal apology.

      I can't rack your heart with grief
      Because I've already ripped it out.
      Can't burn your life's candle any lower
      Because I've already snuffed it out.

      I'm not pursuing some kind of perfection,
      I'm leaving, I have to go away.
      All I want is your satisfaction,
      And to tell me I haven't been led astray.

      A sigh, you laid your head back,
      I knew something was amiss.
      The feeling I thought I didn't lack,
      Has come to haunt me in a lonely abyss.
      _____

      Two Broken Hearts Don't Make A Whole

      You watch me as I unravel
      These tender rags from my icy heart.
      Just watch me unravel
      As I lay bare upon my quiet sorrow.

      I twist and turn for you,
      But this is no orthodox dance.
      And yet all along, you knew,
      You knew you'd spear my heart.

      I'll take this to my grave,
      May yet you be so brave.
      There is the man, for he you wait.
      There is the man, to he you wake.

      "So this is how you feel?"
      "Yes, this is how I feel."
      While the conversation will go as thus,
      I wonder now, "what's become of us?"

      I just want to let you be aware
      That you will always be my dove.
      And while you may never care,
      To you I will always love.
      _____

      A Suicidal Love
      Red, it pours from you,
      The steel seeks your life.
      Seeing sorrow in your eyes, I knew,
      You can't help but cause this strife.

      You pop a pill and let yourself go.
      There's no will, just a shell, so hollow.
      You gave me something to live for,
      But I don't know if I want to anymore.

      You aren't done just yet,
      A chaser is what those pills need.
      A whistle you have to wet,
      Alcohol, may it be your maître d'?

      And down it goes,
      Drinking shot after shot.
      You choke on tears,
      Feeling knot after knot.
      _____

      My Eternal Sleep
      The knife, it cuts so deep.
      I sigh, and yet I do not weep.
      It takes everything else away.
      The flesh, nay the life, is what I fray.

      The scarlet steel, again I whet.
      Emotions unchecked, my eyes are wet.
      I've kept my heart locked tight.
      Cold and cracked, it's a ghastly sight.

      All I wanted was to forget;
      Now I'm forever in your debt.

      You gave me a reason to stay strong
      When everyone else told me I was wrong.
      You gave me a reason to stay alive
      When all I wanted to do was hide.

      You may see these scars, there's more than some,
      But now it's time, my body's gone numb.
      A contented sigh, for no more do I weep,
      Because this is the closest thing to my eternal sleep.
      _____

      They Realized All Too Late
      It's been far too long,
      Since we've seen each other.
      What they're doing is wrong,
      Keeping emotions deeper.

      Let them see,
      We should be together.
      Let them see,
      We should be forever.

      Such a simple word,
      For such a complex feeling.
      It leaves a heart in disrepair,
      And the mind reeling.

      Now my heart is untenable,
      The door is locked, key thrown away.
      They thought it was negligible,
      The life drained, strength whipped away.

      It's the antithesis of hating,
      A game you get ahead by waiting.
      It's an egregious act from above,
      And they never realized it was love.
      _____

      To Go On Like This…
      You'll take me by the hand,
      And my feet will surely follow.
      You'll take me by the heart,
      And my mind will freeze and wallow.

      Your gracious self has been more than kind,
      But for tonight our paths will branch separately.
      My eyes finally started to find,
      That our lives are of two different entities.

      You've reached out to me and I to you,
      Emotions unchecked, they began to accrue.
      Shouldn't I stand up and fight my fate?
      Shout out to my God, heresy so irate?

      The times we shared together will last forever.
      To forget them?

      I will never...
      _____

      You’re Tearing Me Up
      Lay stranded in the street,
      Are broken pieces of this heavy heart.
      Was once alive with passion and heat
      Is frozen in the hollowed dark.

      I'm kickin' myself over this.
      I'm twisting the truth into a wish.
      I can't find those truths now,
      Because they've all become lies.

      And it don't go away too fast.
      I'm a window made of broken glass.
      Every time I think of you I crack.
      It's your accursed love that I lack.

      I guess I'm not good enough for you.
      I let you down,
      So I'll just throw this all away,
      And continue to wear my frown.

      I would be lying if I said I knew.
      The emotions unchecked, began to accrue.
      The separation, we had waylaid.
      And for that, a price will be paid.

      Love rears it's heinous head at me.
      Oh, yet she cries such a divine cacophony.

    • What I've been doing while I was gone...

      12 years ago

      Joesport90

      POEMS
      AND ALOT OF THEM
      so much, that not all of them will fit on one journal...

      The Touch Of…
      The touch chills you to the bone.
      Death surrounds you, creeps first from your fingers
      And it goes to your head, this life you live.

      Do you hate me?
      Do you want to be rid of me?
      I'll never let you go...
      I'll never let you go...

      You've bottled up all of these fears inside.
      Now you show them for the whole world to see
      But you're too late, it creeps deep inside you.

      Yes, creeping inside you it lingers.
      Waiting for just the right moment to strike
      And there will be nothing you can do.

      Do you hate me?
      Do you want to be rid of me?
      I'll never let you go...
      I'll never let you go...

      You swoon, your lips move yet no words are formed.
      Falling to the ground, I catch you
      Only to remember you wouldn't do the same for me...
      _____

      Losing Control, Love
      You feel for something to hold onto
      You want someone else to do this for you
      You want to go onto something new...

      You reel.
      You kneel.
      You lose control...
      I lose control...

      It's ever flowing inside you
      It provokes you to the things you do
      It won't let you be...

      I lose control...
      These thoughts I have of you,
      They make...

      You reel.
      You kneel.
      You lose control...
      I lose control...

      Now we have nothing left to hold onto
      We want someone else for this
      We want to move onto something new...
      _____

      You Paint Me Like This

      I was drinking every moment in and I,
      I still can't forget how you looked that night.
      Why did we have to have that fight?

      I've got nowhere else to go,
      I've got no one else to run to,
      But you, you paint me like a target
      And make me feel hunted...

      Am I just your toy now?
      Do you like to play with me?
      Is this just a game to you?

      I'm not playing a game...

      I've got nowhere else to go,
      I've got no one else to run to,
      But you, you paint me like a target
      And make me feel alone...

      It's like I'm being convicted.
      Burning from the inside out,
      Staring you down,
      Now you might see...

      I've got nowhere else to go,
      I've got no one else to run to.
      Except for you...
      _____

      Dark Emotions
      I push away from you.
      Now it's your turn
      To watch me walk away
      As I choke on tears.

      All I know is pain.
      On my face,
      I feel the rain.
      Now how can I maintain?

      I'm worn and torn,
      And I'm so forlorn.
      I'm so glad that my misery
      Is your amusement.

      In the wet grass lying next to you,
      I look up towards a black ocean.
      In the cold grass lying next to you,
      It mimics your emotions...
      _____

      Traitor In Our Midst
      We were once so innocent
      We were once so happy together
      Now you've gone and broken us apart
      This lack of faithfulness is your art

      Is there a feeling of remorse?
      Is there a feeling of regret?
      You were with him last night and
      There's nothing on your face but sweat.

      You used to take me to that place,
      That place where I felt at home.
      I try to find that place again,
      But I simply end up alone.
      _____

      Just A Dream
      To the beat of a somber tune,
      You weave my heart a wound.
      To the beat of a lonely tune,
      You weave my mind a wound...

      Hate me, oh yes you do.
      Why else would you do such a thing?
      You strike such a discord,
      On the life that we all live.
      Your love is something that I can't afford,
      'Else I would have been submissive.

      Our lips touch and I feel your warmth.
      This feeling is so foreign that I believe I have dreamt it.
      A sign, oh please give me a sign so that I know it's real.
      Is there no way to change the way that you feel?

      And there's just no going back.
      My head spins and I reel,
      But there's no going back,
      Or to change the way that you feel.
      _____

      Don't Leave Me Here Alone

      Is this our last time together?
      I feel as if I may lose you forever.
      Your breath on my cheek so gentle,
      A sigh of loneliness like a single feather.

      I remember the days we were once so happy,
      Now I weep, for all we feel is agony.
      There's no going back to take back what we said,
      'Else you wouldn't be here in the hospital bed.

      They said it was an accident.
      Tell that to the empty bottles
      And how the knife went.
      Now you're gone forever.

      I sit with you in this hospital bed.
      From these eyes come the tears that we shed,
      And they are the only things left burnin’
      So just leave me here to die... with you.
      _____

      Of Unknown Feelings
      I make my cents
      By making no sense
      The words from my mouth, they pour
      My excuse, yes an excuse, is just so poor

      My hands are shaking now
      The tears run down my cheek
      My exhalation, a ragged breath
      My mind and body... ever so weak

      I was drinking it in, yeah
      Love, the blood of life
      They call it a fantastic concoction
      Of mirth and delight

      We seek it in the earth
      In the air it flows
      We seek it in the shadows
      In the light it shows

      I left you in lonely exultation
      And no doubt it was macabre
      But giving me your cooperation
      Oh what a heinous pleasure

      That night was rough on both of us
      And I want to know, was it love or lust?
      I cried myself to sleep that night
      And I need to know, was it wrong or right?

      A kiss, yes that was lust
      I put myself into this bind
      And I betrayed your trust
      Now love is what I can't find...

      We seek it in the earth
      In the air it flows
      We seek it in the shadows
      In the light it shows

    • umm

      12 years ago

      Joesport90

      cool new pic of me... yeah... i know sweet, right?

    • What I Enjoy...

      12 years ago

      Joesport90

      In order from most enjoyable to not as most enjoyable but still really tight tight (for the most part, I suppose).

      1. sleep
      2. seeing people
      3. food
      4. paintball
      5. basketball
      6. xbl
      7. football
      8. cream puffs
      9. long walks on the beach
      10. surveys
      11. sour cream
      12. whipped cream
      13. cream
      14. archery
      15. feeling really happy (that should be #1 but meh, whatever)

    • HISTORY LESSON!!! yayroxxorz

      12 years ago

      Joesport90

      so... B.C. stands for "before christ" and A.D. stands for "anno domini" ... cool

    • .

      13 years ago

      Joesport90

      rofl-kopter

    • New Journal Entry

      13 years ago

      Joesport90

      so this is my new journal entry. what? you want to hear a story or something? well screw you! i'm too busy to tell you my life story and how i became the sultan of Weenerville so back up off me!

    • I don't know what I'm going to write...

      13 years ago

      Joesport90

      so.... blahhhhh........... g'night mate!

    • The Joy Luck Club

      13 years ago

      Joesport90

      ....sucks

  • About Me

  • Comments (77)

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      GOT SKOOMA?

    • 279

      12 years ago

      joe your poems bring tear's to my eyes

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      Actually, it's a little late to sign up for it...sorry. smiley6.gif

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      yup, it has slowed a bit.

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      Where you been???

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      :O

      *poke poke*

      Are you fo real??

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      Where are you?!?

    • jordanmdl

      12 years ago

      umm i also don't really care if you send me random friend requests- cool if you do and cool if you don't... so yeah. whatever

      That's quite a neutral outlook on FRs lol. smiley4.gif

    • ____

      12 years ago

      OMFG... You thought I was Serious?!

      LMAO.... No... Sex changes are not anywhere near that effective (or fast)

      Also Sex changes do not generally take 8 inches off your height.... LOL

      It is all explained in my last couple journals but I will summurize for you:

      That is a hot, sexy, cool, funny, smart and generally awesome chick I used to know.. I recently got back in touch with her and now she has a plan to make the 5000 mile trip from her home (the lovely oh-so-much-nicer-than-my-house place seen in the pictures) in budapest hungary to here to "visit".... I expect to be having a VERY good time this summer.

      As for removing my pics: I am trying to create the impression that I am a hot chick to see how many n00bs crop up in my profile.

    • ____

      12 years ago

      huh? *confused

    • ____

      12 years ago

      I had a sex change...

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      poop scoop

    • 279

      12 years ago

      hey joe were online at the same time

    • 279

      12 years ago

      CRAP!!!!! you ate my brain YOU SUUUUUUUUUCK

    • Scaddadle

      12 years ago

      All I can say to that is.... OW! Son of a @#$%!

    • Blade9932

      12 years ago

      The contst is ending soon
      Nov. 28th is the deadline
      The custom sprite shop is still up for buisness

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      yep

    • halodork45

      12 years ago

      simple: take redrum, and type it out backwards.

    • sgtbuzzcut

      13 years ago

      I would like you to give me a donation of mods please. I'm not asking fora lot, maybe like 3 or 4 and I will gladly pay you back when/if I get to level 20. Just post in my journal how many you gave and I'll pay you back.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      redrum

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      you may

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      I am very well-cultured, thank you.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      hell if I know

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      arr...no it isn't

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      Ye frighten me, good sir. arr..

    • crazylilviet

      13 years ago

      Thanks for the mods. I'd say something else, but I'm not sure what.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      good. thats what I wanted you to think. smiley8.gif

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      blah. un-blocked.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      congratulations. you just got blocked, be-otch.

    • Blade9932

      13 years ago

      it was a typo ok!

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      *blank stare*

    • MMSHer

      13 years ago

      you misunderstand. for me, a party isn't a party with girls. last one, 4 girls, four guys, I think one of the guys was gay. we had fun, and didn't play any vidio games untill all the gals left,.... and they were here for a while

    • MMSHer

      13 years ago

      we are gamers WITH BOOZE. that makes the whole differance. also, we have a excellant sound system for music. or last party, everyone had a blast

    • MMSHer

      13 years ago

      well he lives here, and it's survied about a month. we don't drink much without girls around for some reason.

    • MMSHer

      13 years ago

      I have, next to my room, rum, everclear, gin, vermouth, several mixers,...

      And in the freezer is ameretto. I think I'm set.

    • Va105

      13 years ago

      It's a Longsword Fighter (in the paintball pic)

    • Vertigo9183

      13 years ago

      Wow thanks for all the mods man. I just feel bad for that poor Airman in that pic carrying so much gear. I didnt take that much when I went on my 6 month deployment.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      i am not sure if that was a compliment or what...

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      i still claim rights to it as the creator, but you can be the new host for the skooma pudding thread, k?
      skooma.jpg

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      i was getting tired of it on my page.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      yes

    • Scaddadle

      13 years ago

      Check out stupid question/ answer thread!

    • Va105

      13 years ago

      Thanks. I was runnin outta those.

    • Va105

      13 years ago

      Alright, sounds good. Double mention... yeah!

      Oh, btw, my first post was on page 18, so ha!

    • Va105

      13 years ago

      Hey, you didn't mention me at all in your eulogy. I'm hurt. You could have said somehting about "Ah, and Valos, with his futile little attempts to discuss real things.... He tried, but he's only human."

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      check out my newest pic.
      and tell the others about it.

      Post edited 7/31/06 9:17PM

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      thats it, im makin a memorial pic for it.

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      in that case, I'd have to use my character from morrowind. I can do permanent summons for very little magicka, and in 5 minutes, i can have an entire horde of Golden Saints at my disposal. and maybe a few atronachs as well

    • halodork45

      13 years ago

      funny, cause I'm only level 20, yet you gave up anyways.

  • Questions

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