KPaul

Male
from Redmond

  • Activity

    • New Digs

      10 years ago

      KPaul

      Xbox HQ is packing up its shit and moving this week. Actually it's a several month process, but I'm moving this week so it's relevant now. The cubicles are pretty slick, they look like they're designed by Ikea. The rest of the buidling's design elements are questionable, I describe it as post-modern dystopian. Reminds me of Logan's Run.

      3428312778_abf4f97d66.jpg?v=0
      Click through to see more.

      I'll get some more pictures next week once we're all settled in, just after we're all setup but before we wreck it all.

    • One Final Effort Is All that Remains

      10 years ago

      KPaul

      No one gets it when I say that at work.

      NXE is done, the very last thing left for me to do for it is write the FAQ but that's easy enough. I look forward to weekends that don't involve finding the master light switch for our hallway.

      I got new shirts today, they're classy. I'm a classy guy.

      I'm moving soon, the apartment should be the shit.

    • Like a Wild Horse

      11 years ago

      KPaul

      Earlier this week I happened upon an extra code for the Legendary Map Pack. I promised my old officemate Nick that I would give it to him. I never said what I'd put him through. It just so happened he had the perfect mix of pride and yearning for the map pack.

      KP says (1:58 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:04 PM):
      my Father is Doug Garbareno
      Nick says (2:04 PM):
      fine man
      KP says (2:04 PM):
      just say it
      KP says (2:04 PM):
      and you'll be greatly rewarded
      KP says (2:04 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:04 PM):
      fuck you man lol
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      c'mon buddy
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:05 PM):
      you know there isn't a chance in hell you'll get me to say that
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      well then
      Nick says (2:05 PM):
      no matter what you're pedaling
      Nick says (2:05 PM):
      lol
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      i'll just give you half of this code
      Nick says (2:05 PM):
      you fucker
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      R5YDC-6H4DH-XT
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      i'll give you the other half when you tell me
      Nick says (2:05 PM):
      I can guess the rest
      KP says (2:05 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:06 PM):
      The terminator
      KP says (2:06 PM):
      SAY IT
      Nick says (2:06 PM):
      IT
      KP says (2:06 PM):
      nick
      KP says (2:06 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:06 PM):
      now give me the code
      Nick says (2:07 PM):
      no fucking way man don't be that way you sick son of a bitch
      KP says (2:07 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:07 PM):
      f u buddy
      KP says (2:07 PM):
      you can even just call me
      KP says (2:07 PM):
      so it's not in writing anywhere
      KP says (2:07 PM):
      i understand that
      KP says (2:07 PM):
      just tell me
      KP says (2:07 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:08 PM):
      ROFL
      Nick says (2:08 PM):
      you're sick man, you know that?
      KP says (2:08 PM):
      i'm sadistic
      KP says (2:08 PM):
      well aware.
      KP says (2:08 PM):
      that's not really the question though
      KP says (2:08 PM):
      the question is
      KP says (2:08 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:09 PM):
      side question, if I get this code, are the maps playable right now
      Nick says (2:09 PM):
      on live?
      KP says (2:10 PM):
      yes.
      KP says (2:10 PM):
      immediately
      Nick says (2:10 PM):
      with anyone who has the code
      KP says (2:10 PM):
      correct.
      Nick says (2:10 PM):
      goddamit
      KP says (2:10 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:11 PM):
      how do I know you're not fucking with me
      Nick says (2:11 PM):
      show me the code so I know its real
      KP says (2:11 PM):
      i showed you half
      KP says (2:11 PM):
      i will have meghan confirm
      KP says (2:11 PM):
      she's an objective third party
      KP says (2:12 PM):
      will that suffice
      Nick says (2:12 PM):
      how do I know the other half doesn't say Nick is a tool
      Nick says (2:13 PM):
      I'm asking myself, what are the future ramifications of answering this question?...
      KP says (2:13 PM):
      just a shattered sense of self and the bitter taste of defeat lingering in your mouth for the next 3 weeks.
      KP says (2:14 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:14 PM):
      I hate you with a bitter, white hot passion that is seldom seen on beautiful green earth
      KP says (2:14 PM):
      right, like a father
      KP says (2:14 PM):
      so
      KP says (2:14 PM):
      who's your daddy
      Nick says (2:14 PM):
      rofl
      KP says (2:15 PM):
      i'm content to just post this on twitter
      KP says (2:15 PM):
      where people with xbox's right next to them with their own account will jump on it within 40 seconds
      Nick says (2:16 PM):
      your threats don't scare me child
      Nick says (2:16 PM):
      fine
      KP says (2:16 PM):
      who's your daddy

      *At this time Nick calls me and after a long, drawn out conversation which he refused to allow me to broadcast on speakerphone, admits that I am, in fact, his daddy.*

      Nick says (2:19 PM):
      .....
      Nick says (2:19 PM):
      ....
      KP says (2:19 PM):
      i broke you like a wild fucking horse.
      Nick says (2:19 PM):
      give me that fucking code you bastard
      KP says (2:19 PM):
      *censored code*

    • Ikea Furniture

      11 years ago

      KPaul

      They're seriously going to charge me $300 for shipping on a $450 order. I can fit the coffee table and the night stand in my car. The dresser will require a friend with a truck, but I do believe that I can arrange that. I've been here two years without a dresser and I'm looking forward to storing my boxers somewhere other than the linen closet.

      I've gained writing responsibilities at Xbox.com now, though my main responsibilities remain in the management area, this makes me happy. Along with writing the pages for all the Community events and features, I have a column. Here's my latest and from there you can find the archives. I hope you enjoy, I'm excited to be given the opportunity again, I've missed it since leaving Bungie. Not as much as I miss Joseph Staten though. For him, my heart laments.

    • Whatever You're Doing, Stop It

      11 years ago

      KPaul

      Every car has its quirks, I left mine with a friend for the weekend so I wrote a quick guide to the random things it does. She thought it was pretty funny, so did someone else so I thought I'd share it with you guys.


      KP's Guide to The Ultimate Driving Experience (that's secretly trying to kill you)

      You're out of windshield wiper fluid.
      Correct. I wouldn't attempt to refill it, either. That's pretty much a one-way street.

      What's that flashing exclamation point in the dash?
      Active traction control. You should also feel a pulsing in the pedals as the brakes are applied. Whatever you're doing, stop it.

      Service Engine Soon?
      Yeah, that comes and goes. I'll take care of it after Christmas.

      That's a lot of exhaust.
      I know. You don't have to be a dick about it.

      The car is beeping at me?!
      Behold, the faulty temperature gauge! Hit the button on the turn signal lever.

      It's still beeping!
      Disengage the parking brake, asshole.

      The volume knob just turns the stereo down?
      Use the steering wheel controls. I like to think this was the nuclear option in the war of driver vs. passenger radio control. Like scorching the skies in The Matrix. Pretty much.

      The cup-holder bit me.
      There are pins in there from a shirt. If you could remove them I'd be grateful, because I can't.

      This car has a temperature gauge, tell me more!
      It hates the cold, oddly. Don't push it until you've passed the second hash mark. When idle, before it's reached its optimal temperature, the RPMs dip then recover. It feels weird but it's harmless.

      Can I make this light?
      Yep. In a related note, the registration and proof of insurance are in the glove compartment.

      What's wrong with the moon roof?
      You gotta jiggle it, sometimes the cover part comes off the track when operated manually.

      What's the deal with the driver-side mirror?
      It can't move itself up or to the outside. Much like my right foot.

      What's that sound?
      That was the sound of a toolchest, falling down the stairs.

    • When Boredom Strikes

      12 years ago

      KPaul

      Working at Xbox Live, now, as an editorial assistant. What this means is that I coordinate all of the content for Xbox.com, getting it to the right area and acting as a middleman between the content creators and the production team, who actually post the stories. Kind of a sharp contrast to Bungie, where we created, formatted and posted everything ourselves. It's a good job though, working out very well, and they might even let me write a bit.

      On to the point of the post, though, I found that when there's no content coming in and Trixie (my boss and office-mate) is out of office, I tend to have an excess of free time. I spend most of this cleaning up the forums or what have you, but I started to poke around our content management system (Microsoft Sharepoint) this last time. I realized that each user has their own little user info page which no one has ever utilized, and I doubt anyone even checks them except accidentally. So I decided to write myself a little bio in the (limited) space divided:



      Born a fleshy ball of charisma in the magical land of popped collars and liberal voters, KP arrived in the golden year of film-making responsible for such classics as Back to the Future, Weird Science, The Breakfast Club and the greatest movie of all time, Rocky IV.

      Fostering his hand-eye coordination from an early age, KP was most at home on the ice where he played left wing for the Middlesex Red Devils. As time progressed he came to immerse himself in the world of video games via his SNES, with which he took the neighborhood championships in Madden 95, NHL 95 and Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball, thus completing the legendary Cul-De-Sac Triple Crown.

      After graduating high school in 2003, KP attended the University of Connecticut where he studied International Relations while dabbling in programming. In early 2006, he translated his Halo fanaticism and literary acumen into a job as a contract writer and community liaison for Bungie Studios.



      It had to be trimmed a few times because of the maximum character limit, but I was happy with it, overall. The funny part is that there's no record of the change, when it occurred or who made it, which is odd given the nature of the site. So I'm going to start doing it for all my coworkers, too, since I think I could probably create them all before anyone notices.

    • I'm in Candadia.

      12 years ago

      KPaul

      And there are people. Is nice. Canadians make super weak drinks though.

    • Employment!

      12 years ago

      KPaul

      I gots a job. :)

      Editorial Assistant to Trixie, over at Xbox.com. So far as I see it, it'll be like doing all the behind-the-scenes stuff I did at Bungie, but full time. I don't believe I'll be doing much writing for them, however. That's alright with me, I had my fifteen minutes with Bungie. :) I certainly wouldn't turn them down, if they asked. Writing pieces that brought people a lot of joy either because of new information or simple comedy was the most rewarding part of the job at Bungie.

      Should be goodtimes. Odd that I went from serving one high-profile community manager to another. Guess it makes sense though. This one's prettier, too, so I'm moving up.

    • Shiz

      12 years ago

      KPaul

      I just wanted to write about some random highlights from my time at Bungie. The everyday things like playtests and working with cool people are implied as are the events I attended. I just wanted to list some random ones.

      My first day- Imagine Frankie taking you on a tour of Bungie Studios in which not only is nothing held back, but he goes out of his way to destroy your mind.

      Barbecue- They had a barbecue. At work. No special occasion, it was just nice out. How cool is that? Alta is so very awesome.

      Pentathlon- Doesn't really need to be explained. It was a ton of a fun, even if I missed the first event.

      Make A Wish- Tough to explain without seeming campy. But the kid was cool and I had a good time spending as much time with him as I did.

      Crazy sick day- The only time I ever got really sick during my 10 months there, I came in and my desk was gone. All of my shit was still there but the desk was gone. And the chair replaced by a bean bag. Hilarious, in retrospect. But at the time I just wanted to die. Good one, assholes.

      RvB visit- It was definitely cool to finally meet and spend some time with these guys. Even if they largely spent that time begging for mercy.

    • Setting Things Ablaze Passes Time

      12 years ago

      KPaul

      I won't get too far into it, since Wu did it for me, but I'm pretty bored right now. I have fun, hang out with friends and stuff, but even still I pretty much want to slam my head a wall in order to accelerate time. I'm going back home to CT in a month to kill some time. Should be nice to see the family. And not to pay for stuff.

      Oh, and any one who says, "it must be nice" is pretty much full of shit. Boredom is far less enjoyable, especially in comparison to what I was doing before. So go ahead shut your face.

  • About Me

  • Comments (451)

    • LouisWu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      9 years ago

      Thanks, you jerk.

      Now every time I look at that chair, I'm gonna hear Gandalf shouting 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS' in my head.

    • LouisWu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      9 years ago

      That particular model got horrible reviews, and doesn't seem to be sold any more - but I'm investigating the line. :)

      Thanks!

    • Lacrimosa

      9 years ago

      Douche.

    • Leo

      10 years ago

      Sup KP its Leo

    • Lacrimosa

      10 years ago

      Now that I think about it. I think I missed the entire point of your comment. I should take some introductory course in skating.

    • Lacrimosa

      10 years ago

      I actually was able to go backwards before by just making these pizza-shaped wedges with my feet.

      As for the cross-over it sounds pretty advanced for me atm. I'm working on just moving backwards by my little swivel and pushing off alternating feet.

      I told Jason I move like a goalie. That's pretty much the only reason he keeps me around.

    • LouisWu FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      dick.

    • Blackdragons

      11 years ago

      hey i did this a wail ago but I'd like to let u see what you think of it.
      rvb.roosterteeth.com/members/images/image.php?id=2198586

    • Lacrimosa

      11 years ago

      +1 Fuck You

    • Neoma

      11 years ago

      Summarizing you.

    • yellowcard

      11 years ago

      do u know how to download machinima to an xbox360

    • yellowcard

      11 years ago

      dude why arnt u on any more

    • pinksage

      11 years ago

      KPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    • KPaul

      11 years ago

      Alright, yourself?

    • yellowcard

      11 years ago

      hey hows it goin

    • yellowcard

      11 years ago

      comment my pics plz

    • Ruble

      11 years ago

      we haven't seen you on here in a while

    • superguy727

      11 years ago

      Whats your IRC Server?

    • KPaul

      11 years ago

      Yes. It was cool.

    • superguy727

      11 years ago

      Kroze wants to challenge you to a game of GrifBall

    • tmoneynyy

      11 years ago

      What's up, brotha? You still in CT?

    • Col_Kilgore

      11 years ago

      So, does working for microsoft give you any perks? I doubt they offer health insurance, but what about discounts?

    • KPaul

      11 years ago

      INTERNET PREDATOR!

    • bob902004

      11 years ago

      Hey man, you should come and play H3 with art and I in a little under 25 days. Probably not co-op just hopping in some matchmaking playlists and such.

    • ClassicMan

      11 years ago

      Dear Kevin,

      I was wondering if you would be interested in doing a Podcast Interview describing your duties as an editorial assistant for Xbox Live.com. I was wondering if you would be interested in doing an interview for my Podcast: ClassyDude's Emporium of Chat. I just recently recorded Episode 2 and it was featured on Halo.Bungie.Org's Front Page ( nikon.bungie.org/newsbyday.html?date=20070822 It's near the Bottem Entitled "Did You Know Games Have Laws). I would be greatly appreciative if you could appear and talk about your job.

      Regards,

      ClassicMan

    • KPaul

      12 years ago

      While that is indeed persuasive, I'm afraid that commenting on Bungie, their activities and most pertinently (for you) their games is no longer my privilege. You'll just have to wait and see.

    • RTDevilDog

      12 years ago

      Hey KP! sorry for sendin a message to your bungie account but this is just so much easier just this once,promise. smiley0.gif
      Anywho, i dont know if your allowed to say but will the shadow from halo 2 be a drivable vehicle in halo 3 as the wraith was a drivable vehicle in 2 but not in 1? heres a pic i do to hopefully persuade you into realeasing this information.
      CYCON6946c1f37a2b2f4.jpg

    • IAMCHURCH

      12 years ago

      I've been playing through halo 1 again this week. It's a lot more fun than I remembered.

    • KPaul

      12 years ago

      I passed off leadership of the Spartans forever ago.

    • art

      12 years ago

      Are you planning to do something with HBO Spartans? Or is it really dead?

    • art

      12 years ago

      Man, you gotta update your journal so I can leave my insignificant comments there.

    • thedeath88

      12 years ago

      cool helmet wered ya get it?

    • bob902004

      12 years ago

      Happy Bungie Day!

    • art

      12 years ago

      Your art skills are totally below your gaming skills.

    • KPaul

      12 years ago

      Yeah, I started there.

    • superguy727

      12 years ago

      So did you start at Bungie, or did you have to work your way up?

    • KPaul

      12 years ago

      I applied.

    • superguy727

      12 years ago

      Hey, how exactly did you get into the whole gaming field?

    • RAWPOWER95

      12 years ago

      You give a good and hilarious interview.

    • KPaul

      12 years ago

      Seven.

    • Laird

      12 years ago

      How ya doing?

    • TheDonWan

      12 years ago

      Hello KP. I want to rainbow your face.

    • KPaul

      12 years ago

      Yeah, I try to share whichever games make it look like I have some sort of skill.

    • bob902004

      12 years ago

      hey man, I watched some of your vids you have up for file sharing on the Beta. You have some pretty badass games on there.

    • slabknok

      12 years ago

      Hello, have you had a random, yet friendly hi today? If not then now you have.

    • psk

      12 years ago

      you're not in canada anymore.

      and no, we don't have palm trees

    • Ruble

      12 years ago

      hey KP whats up?

      check out this site
      thisisspartan117.com

    • Col_Kilgore

      12 years ago

      How's the new job working out?

    • UNSC__Sniper

      12 years ago

      Hey, I'm 12 and I wanna work for Bungie as an artist. Dunno which kind. But I have lots of pics I drew in my images section, could you please go look at them and comment?

      It's so cool how I found out you had an RvB profile. Just like I found out Nomi the paper spartan girl had a profile, too!

    • superguy727

      12 years ago

      Hey, sorry to talk to you about your Bungie purposes, but I just wanted to say thank you for all the hard work the you and the rest of Bungie did in order to make the Beta available for public use, and for making the soon-to-be greatest 360 title. Ever.

  • Questions

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