Kaptenen

Male
from Canada

  • Activity

    • A bad sign...

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      When I play Assassin's Creed, bad things happen. I beat people to death with a broom.

      Time to clean the streets! YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

      IMG_0313.jpg
      IMG_0316.jpg
      IMG_0312.jpg

      THIS IS MAH BROOMSTICK!

    • One does not simply...

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      ...reconfigure Kaptenen.

      Cap'n Ashleigh Kaptenen Yates Kaptenen 2.0 - Logging on.... error... file corrupted C:/Mental/Sanity.

      I am Captain, insert codeine.

      Matthias Vandegaer
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ sudo insert sedative
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ sudo mnt /dev/Kaptenen/brain /mnt/brain/
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ cd /mnt/brain/
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ cd Mental/Sanity/
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ sudo rm --recursive *...(tharr be more) Peer into the depths
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ sudo mnt /dev/gerbil/brain /mnt/backup/
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ cp /mnt/backup/Mental/Sanity/* /mnt/brain/Mental/Sanity/
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ chown --recursive Kaptenen *
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ chmod 755 * --recursive
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ cd /mnt/brain/
      DrRico@mentalclinic$ ./reboot

      Tim Cumming
      [elu@bwuk ~]$ ssh -l elu kaptenen
      elu@kaptenen's password:
      Last login: Sun May 30 17:40:01 2010 from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
      [elu@ kaptenen ~]$ cd /mnt/brain/Mental/Sanity/
      [elu@ kaptenen Sanity]$ ls -lh...
      total 4.0M
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 170K June 4 05:57 behaviour.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 140K June 4 05:57 common_sense.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 341K June 4 05:57 dark_side.cfg
      -rw-r-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 568K June 4 05:57 emotion.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 924K June 4 05:57 judgement.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 357K June 4 05:57 light_side.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 198K June 4 05:57 lucidity.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 593K June 4 05:57 rationality.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 246K June 4 05:57 stability.cfg
      -rwxr-xr-x 1 kaptenen kaptenen 302K June 4 05:57 zen.cfg
      [elu@ kaptenen Sanity]$ sudo rm rationality.cfg
      [elu@ kaptenen Sanity]$ sudo rm light_side.cfg
      [elu@ kaptenen Sanity]$ exit
      logout
      Connection to kaptenen closed.
      [elu@bwuk ~]$

      Matthias Vandegaer
      Gerbils don't have common sense! xD

      Douglas Jalnor Carr
      Ohhhh, this is a lot of Win goofy.png
      Totally belongs on the fan page!

      Tim Cumming
      I'm sure the contents of common_sense.cfg is something starting:
      #!/bin/sh
      #
      destroy_everything.sh

      Matthias Vandegaer
      Nope, a gerbil has no common sense. The only contents of common_sense.cfg is:
      #!/bin/sh
      nibble --wood
      eat --sunbeans
      drink --water...(tharr be more) Peer into the depths
      poo
      pee

      Tim Cumming
      xD very good, but ours always seem to get stuck in the nibble --notedible loop until everything is destroyed.

      Matthias Vandegaer
      Ours overuse a function: "scratch --plasticwall"
      Occasionally also a "Jump --up | nibble --steelbars"



      I find it wrong to refer to myself as The Kaptenen.... since Kaptenen literally means The Captain. Should I refer to myself in Swenglish as The Kapten? I is confused.


    • Well..

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      Yesterday morning at approx 4 am, I was awoken rudely by a headache that forced me into a small ball, rocking backwards and forwards. As Sekai went to work, I went to sleep until I had to pick up our daughter to which I wanted to just die on the walk up the road.

      Needless to say, some lovely ass decided to poke me... smiley12.gif and ask about my medicine history. Oh the joy of topics in the bedroom. So by order of the GP, I was told to get myself into the local hospital for a quick over.

      Oh how fucking wrong he was.

      13 vials of blood, 5 spinal fluid flasks, two morphine shots, chronic headache later, I was told to go home. Nothing is wrong with me... right... so explain to me why I have been a complete withering wreck for the last 2 months? Luckily enough for Mr. IJUSTGRADUATEDFUCKTARDPhD I was wanting out. Fucktard student nurses collapsed most of my vein structure and had to redo it, 4 fucking times.

      Oh and the worse kind of pain is feeling a needle in your spine and being told to not breathe, blink or move.

      Best part was, I was told to go home after missing 8 hours worth of hugs and kisses.


      The sons of bitches can go fuck themselves now.

      Best YET! The only sensible person was the nurse who made Sekai a sandwich at 1am!


      THE FUCK?! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THE FUCKING NHS!

      Anywho, give me your morphine. I shit you not. Address and PO Box upon request.

    • X

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      I still miss you to this day but I will see you soon.

      Happy Birthday Dad.

      smiley12.gif

    • 101 Guide to The Captain - For n00bz.

      in Forums > 101 Guide to The Captain - For n00bz. | Follow this topic

      Kaptenen

      I decided that I am going to make a hand drawn booklet which is going to be over the top and added to the Mafia Game Book as an additional extra, free of charge for a limited time.

      I ask of you to come up with wild and crazy things about how to raise me, react to me as a pet.

      I am beginning to draw up part one now about conceiving and birth.


      Easiest trick to make captain obey: promise him morphine if he does what you ask him to do, while waving around a syringe and bottle of the stuff.
      ait... wouldn't that be equally likely to result in a surprise chainsawing to acquire the morphine without any work?


      Post edited 6/01/10 7:48AM

      37 replies

    • 9 years ago

      Kaptenen
    • I have discovered Sweden's evil plot!

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      Without morphine this time!

      From MSN:

      The Captain says:
      www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=370427801243#!/group.php?gid=136636480536&v=wall
      Ellis signed up to it
      LMAO
      I know now
      Why Swedes say Hej Hej!


      XD
      THEY ARE TRYING TO SELL YOU IKEA PRODUCTS!
      THE FUCKING BASTARDO!
      Sekai says:
      lololol
      joined
      The Captain says:
      seen my comment?
      Sekai says:
      lol
      The Captain says:
      It's soo true!
      If I spoke Swedish
      everyone knows I am Italian
      you know why?
      I just say Hej
      like this..
      Heeeeeeeeejjjjjj!
      wink.png
      8)
      (y)
      LMAO
      Sekai says:
      8)
      The Captain says:
      LMAO
      Sekai says:
      gtg in a sec to class
      The Captain says:
      www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSfqQDjIuxo
      Sekai says:
      i'll take laptop with me and get back on in a bit
      The Captain says:
      satanic ritual
      Sekai says:

      lololololololol
      I'VE DONE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
      The Captain says:
      Notice the lack of foreigners there?
      LMAO
      THEY KILLED THEM!
      Sekai says:
      AND ATE THEM
      The Captain says:
      FOR THEIR NORSE GOD!
      THE BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!
      Sekai says:
      DANCING ON THEIR GRAVE
      the cross is their grave marker
      The Captain says:
      LMAO
      Oh god
      Sekai says:
      XD
      The Captain says:
      NO
      it is a kinky sex bondage device
      Sekai says:
      hahahahahahaha'
      The Captain says:
      at the peak of the virgin's orgasm
      they kill them!
      Sekai says:
      :o
      The Captain says:
      bigsmile.png
      Sekai says:
      it's PHALLIC
      The Captain says:
      I am now not picking BLARG up
      next door is eyeing me up
      I should walk outside and shout I KNOW YOUR SECRET SUCCUBUS!
      Sekai says:
      -.-
      lol
      The Captain says:
      lol
      you know it's true


      I am not crazy.

    • 9 years ago

      Kaptenen
    • Brotherly Love

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      So my brother, Sam is being forced off the internet by a bunch of students who taunt him at school. I cannot do much about it but I can and will provoke psychological damage to their young fragile minds.

      Image1.jpg
      Image2.jpg
      Image3.jpg

      In hindsight, my brother has an issue with nerves and these little shit-faced mother fucking tit suckling cunts are taking advantage of this. What do you guys propose my brother should do?

    • Midas Touch

      9 years ago

      Kaptenen

      Yesterday I had an EPIC day.

      We bought a new TV which seems to be a complete bitch when we want to stream videos from the main computer so to combat this, I used a streaming program and the 360. Problem solved.

      Sekai's USB in her car doesn't work so I decided that it was due to the format of her device. I switched it to a flash drive and now it works fine. Problem solved.

      Windows Media Player 11 doesn't work but after fixing the settings in the Admin section, it works now. Problem solved.

      Little Miss Fussy wanted food because she was hungry and she actually ate my cooking. Problem solved.

      Managed to get every item on the shopping list and even finding my shower gel which is gold dust here. Problem solved.

      Did a BBQ and had a quiet night out.

      I finished off the night with an epic gaming session.


      Problem is, Sekai has now turned into gold. smiley2.gif

  • Comments (227)

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      lol.png

      I have stumbled into what we call the "How the fuck?!" So I will break away and work on Illustrator then come back to it.


      confused.png

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      Ahhhhhhhhhhh... what you said on the image comment was "PSD," I believe lol.png
      Anyhoo, cheers bigsmile.png

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      You do remember that I don't have Photoshop and a PSD is useless to me... right? That's why I make all these requests of you, I only have Paint tongue.png

    • firebug19

      9 years ago

      Thanks smile.png It's nice to be back.

    • buckeyedon Crackpottist

      9 years ago

      Pics!!!!

    • buckeyedon Crackpottist

      9 years ago

      My system won't read the ODST disc - don't know why. I'll try and catch up with you in the morning.

    • buckeyedon Crackpottist

      9 years ago

      I have a Grifball Playoff Match between 1800 and 2100 EST (2300-0200 GMT). I can get on around 1600 EST (2100 GMT) and will be available after 2100 EST (0200 GMT). Tomorrow I have a poker tournament that starts at 1440 EST (1940 GMT) and don't know how long it will last (I only hope it is for hours - not minutes).

      I'm off to work - let me know if any of these times works for you.

    • buckeyedon Crackpottist

      9 years ago

      If you can't get anyone tonight or tomorrow - I should be good all day Thurs. This weekend is out for me (I'm normally free - but huge football game on Sat afternoon and Grifball playoff match later.) I could do Sun morning for me (9 Eastern =?= 2 GMT). I can do Endure before I go out of town.

      Let me know if you need me.

    • tonyski change is scary

      9 years ago

      I'll help you get the achievemnets in the shitty game

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      In reply to Kaptenen, #7:

      Aye, I am qualified to the teeth when it comes to Adobe. More than willing to help to fill up my Service hours for CAS. bigsmile.png


      Excellent.
      I can has your rendition of Brian? bigsmile.png

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      heart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.pngheart.png [img]http://services.shawnwilsher.com/smilies/heart.pn

    • urself

      9 years ago

      GET BACK TO WORK!

    • Shura0107

      9 years ago

      Yeah, I wrote your character around the profanities.

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      *cough*ebuddy*cough*

    • Megan327

      9 years ago

      And I was watching SG:U last night before crashing for bed.

    • Megan327

      9 years ago

      Same here. But unfortunatlly, that's all I get right now.

      You on XBL?

    • urself

      9 years ago

      hey look what i found!

      present.jpg

      I'll take the beating plz thx

    • Megan327

      9 years ago

      You sleep for 45min then stay up an hour and still go through life.

    • Megan327

      9 years ago

      OK.

      The only thing I actually play on CBL nowadays (just for financial reasons) is H3. Just normally don't get to get online for I'm tending to the wee one. She started to get to a good sleep cycle before she hit this stage, whatever it is.

    • Megan327

      9 years ago

      Two?

      I'm ok. Tired, and a little more worn-out. Just wish I had more time so I could come in and chat.

    • TheRecreator

      9 years ago

      Ah. Inside jokes - the bane of many a punchline.

      Does "Folks of the Forum" rely too much on inside jokes, you think? Or am I doing a decent job developing the characters in the comic itself?

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      From the Get Your Cowell On thread... as you might know, we're closing these this evening...

      In reply to Jalnor, #49:

      In reply to Jalnor, #50:

      In reply to Jalnor, #51:

      Megafire needs votes. Only 2 of you have voted.

      In reply to Jalnor, #52:

      Kevin needs votes. Only 2 of you have voted.

      In reply to Jalnor, #53:

      In reply to Jalnor, #54:

      In reply to Jalnor, #55:

      Sock needs votes.
      ...guess how many have voted.

      In reply to Jalnor, #56:

      In reply to Jalnor, #57:

      In reply to Jalnor, #58:

      ZOMG! A third vote for 2 of Andromeda's! What are the rest of you doing?

      In reply to Jalnor, #60:

      In reply to Jalnor, #61:

      In reply to Jalnor, #62:

      In reply to Jalnor, #63:

      Greg has 3 votes, everyone else hurry up.

      In reply to Jalnor, #71:

      3 have voted on Shabobble's answer. We can haz 10 votes?

      In reply to Jalnor, #78:

      In reply to Jalnor, #79:

      In reply to Jalnor, #80:

      Proud has 3 voters as well. Hello?

      In reply to Jalnor, #86:

      In reply to Jalnor, #87:

      In reply to Jalnor, #88:

      Holy shit, 5 of you voted on Sonima. Let's make it 10 for lulz.

      In reply to Jalnor, #117:

      In reply to Jalnor, #118:

      In reply to Jalnor, #119:

      So, only 3 on Myth. What does everyone else think?

      In reply to Jalnor, #126:

      In reply to Jalnor, #127:

      In reply to Jalnor, #128:

      4 voters on EliteForce, can we make it 10?

      Come on, everyone, if you're not rating these, you can't complain about getting shitty Comrades. There's an average of 2.4 votes out of thirteen.
    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      They do it with.... - what I was talking about earlier this morning.

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      Lori needs to check her inbox quick wink.png

    • f3licks

      9 years ago

      Makes sense.

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      Firebug and I are starting some practice for tonight if you want to join the party.

    • urself

      9 years ago

      funny-pictures-paranoid-cat.jpg

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      The score to beat is 2 352 000... what time on Friday are we all available?
      Jalnor: smiley13.gif 18:30 GMT (10:30AM PST) for 5 hours
      Kevin: smiley13.gif 20:30 GMT (12:30PM PST) for unknown time
      Captain: smiley13.gif Just ask
      Firebug: smiley13.gif All day up to 22:00 GMT (14:00 PST)

      So, the final summary: Tonight, 20:30 GMT until about 22:00 GMT. That's 12:30 PST until 14:00 PST. That's gonna be a short run, but hopefully we can get something again on Saturday or Sunday.
      State your availabilities for that in the News Comments so that we can work it out bigsmile.png

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      ignore him and delete the pic

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      Greetings, Comrade! The Vat is in desperate need of your input - both the current news and the last few posts of the "Get Your Cowell On" thread need votes in the next hour or so.
      Thank you!

      Also, see my comment on the other side of that urselfism
      .I.
      V

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      Okay, team...
      The score to beat is 2 352 000... what time on Friday are we all available?
      Jalnor: smiley13.gif 18:30 GMT (10:30AM PST) for 5 hours
      Kevin: smiley10.gif
      Captain: smiley10.gif
      Firebug: smiley10.gif

    • f3licks

      9 years ago

      You have a Skype, right?

      You should add me. I'm f3licks as well on there.

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      You're still able to do the Firefight tournament without Luke, right?

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      I hate that unexplained-chill feeling...

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      Heh... no worries, I'm just teasing, but it seems no-one has the time.
      Also, you now have even less time while you recover from the pins&needles feeling that Wraith stunner will have given you wink.png

      Post edited 9/25/09 9:53AM

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      *Wraithstuns*

    • Jalnor

      9 years ago

      u haz vat tiemz?

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      GET TO WORK!!!! smiley12.gif

    • firebug19

      9 years ago

      Possibly. Depends whether my cousin and brother want to play.

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      The water thing?

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      Curse you for putting nasty images in my head!!!!

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      C...Fuck...I...where...live!

      Articulate much? And they were working quietly on the comps this morning.

    • Sekai08

      9 years ago

      Dreadfully. Talk to me or I die! smiley12.gif

    • urself

      9 years ago

      admitting-your-an-asshole1.jpg

    • Jalnor

      10 years ago

      Anything running at least Bindows Xtra Pish should do the trick, but the bigger the spec the better. You could probably get a new netbook with Linux for less than a reconditioned laptop, though... lighter to carry about. Documents and web browsing are fine in any system spec you can find on the market, but video streaming to full-screen (YouTube or RT) should be at least 512MB RAM, 1.5GHz single-core. Recommended spec would be 1GB RAM, 1.5GHz Dual Core with dedicated graphics hardware.

    • Jalnor

      10 years ago

      Easy: Log onto your old account and leave all groups. You'll know when you've done it, because there'll be no groups left wink.png
      The Vat is up and you're in it!

    • f3licks

      10 years ago

      Huh.

      I thought you'd look older.

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