Now that I've had time to reflect on who I was 10 years ago and read on what type of person I was, I can fully talk about what I saw. When I first was on this site I was a young 14 year old boy with my whole life ahead of me, ready to start High School trying to be the next cool kid on the block and being the best there was. Sadly, that never ended becoming true, I may be a bit hard on my past self, but for all terms and purposes when I was 14 I was seriously a big loser. An introverted nerd who was basically like those sitcom nerds trying his best to join the cool kids and be in the in crowd, but constantly messing up on the way. That was one of the things I noticed a lot and had some...great flashbacks to as well. Another thing, I couldn't spell grammar was something I was missing and because of that it shows...so I maybe have skipped a lot of old journal entries because of that.
At the end of the day it is nice to see who I was 10 years ago, the dumb kid with hopes of being the coolest guy in high school, but instead never really realized who he was until college. Though I will say I seriously had some serious "Ouch da Edge" issues when I was younger...do people seriously think edgy people are cool, did I think that...do people in general think that? Personally now it's hard for me to see how I was like that, now these days I'm a positive optimist person with even moments where I should just stay down and be depressed, I kind of just shrug it off and move forward. Which to me feels like the smart move to do, why should I waste time being, all down and depressed, it's a lot easier to just be happy I'm alive and not dealing with some serious issue that can be life threatening. A lot of my friends joke I might have a chemical imbalance in my brain, part of me thinks they're right another part thinks that maybe I do have one, but instead of it being something that can negatively affect me, it helps me become a better person as a whole. I mean I'm more confident than I was 10 years ago, I'm better looking, I dress better..for the most part. I'm an extrovert compared to being an introvert, and my ability to make friends has drastically changed to a guy who used to only have a small handful of friends, I became the guy who has so many I can't keep track of them. I'm a very lovable guy, and feel bad when I can't spend time with every single one of them because I'm constantly busy trying to cheer up the world.
The friends on here that I made, I do miss though, it's weird to think in 10 years I made a lot, and I mean a lot of friends, and since my inactivity and well the site changing a lot, I've lost them, or they removed me. Still to the 42 of you still loyal thanks, and to those who hate my guts for whatever reason...I'm sorry I guess? I don't know I'm a very likeable person now it's hard to for me to understand if I'm hated and why. Still to the people that matter to me, I thank you Mega_Marines, SPARTAN45, OlderTimes (I don't even think she knows she's still on this site), Phantazma, Hamstar. You all have been awesome to me over the last 10 years, so it's hard to ignore you all. Though it makes me wonder how the hell do you make new friends on this site, something I've noticed about myself is that I'm a big of an egotist, which don't get me wrong is awesome, but I just love hearing people say my name. Either way those adventures will continue as I meet the people who I need to meet in my life, since that's how I believe friendship is. We meet the people who we need in our lives at that point in that moment in time, wether is by chance, or that we needed someone we could bond with, the universe has a weird way of making sure that everyone in your life is a person that needs to be there, even if the picture of them isn't clear for the time being, and if you want them there or not we need those people in order for us to understand who we are. I'll continue with these reflections of me later, until then enjoy the read or not.
TL;DR - I'm awesome now, but me 10 years ago wasn't and the power of friendship.