L1n

Female

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    • Journal Entry: The End

      7 years ago

      L1n

      My name is Angel Natalie Taylorsen. I'm 17 years old, just under 100 lbs, 4' 11'' tall, and very alone.

      Over the last two years, I created a series of now-deleted journal entries of my life, which has occupied much of my time and helped me cope with my life. Many were exaggerated, stupid, unbelievable, and some smaller ones were downright fabrications. It's gotten up to about 70 entries until I stopped indefinitely. This marks the end of that series because of personal events in my life.

      This is a revised variant of the entry, one that makes sense. The original one was terribly written when I was emotionally afflicted and managed to get a bunch of non-sympathetic, and some sympathetic, responses, the non-sympathetic pointing out supposed lies trying to garner sympathy. I'm rewriting it because I have nothing better to do and because it gathered so much negativity in it that I felt entitled to make it less wahhmbulance and more of it's intended informative purpose. For those non-sympathizers, this revised version is probably still unbelievable, but I can't change that. I don't know a lot of the specific details. Believe whatever the hell you want.

      Allow me to repeat myself in saying I'm not doing this for attention or sympathy. The sole purpose is to tell my RT friends that I'm leaving. It was never directed towards anyone else.

      My brother died in a drunken car accident during Thanksgiving last year. To add to the emotional burden, my dad died on my birthday several days later, December 12th, as he was going out at night to pick up my birthday cake. I feel 100% responsible for both deaths. Two years ago, my brother promised me he would always be around and help. That was around the time when I became extremely rebellious. Last year he completely disowned my family because of my behavior and my dad's refusal of intervening in my life. He left because of me, and before anyone else says otherwise let me refer to a couple sentences ago - my brother promised me something and he has never broken a promise except for that one. I can only determine I'm the reason for him leaving. I find myself to be the cause of my dad's death as well because he always feels entitled to get me a cake for my birthday. I hate sweets, he knows I hate sweets, and he still went and bought a cake for me before he died. Had I not been born, this would have never happened. I'm actually responsible for my mother's death as well. She died in a car crash when I was 7, while she was on her way to pick me up from a friend's house near my birthday as well. My guilt is overbearing, but I've just started coping with it.

      My dad, to the best of my knowledge had no will or testament or anything. All of his property would be handed over to next-of-kin, my aunt, and I would have been placed under her care. That was my assumption anyways, but, due to reasons unknown to me, she refused to take me in and put me into an orphanage. I now live at the orphanage, filled with kids that resent me because I knew my family and they didn't.

      My area is a wealthy community and while I did attend a public school, they riddled most of the classes and activities with expensive participation fees. I wouldn't have been able to pay for any of them and my grades were terrible so I dropped out. I wouldn't have wanted to stay for another year and a half anyways. My brother was a star student, but I'm the class dropout. They always compared me to him anyways.

      My two best friends have graduated early, and are pursuing going to universities in the spring/summer with full-ride scholarships. One of my best friends has actually be forced to shun me forever. We were somewhat in a relationship, but his father disapproved after meeting me during the break for the first time, thinking that I'm some sort of money leeching bitch. Which I guess I sort of acted like that a little bit, considering I'm just a poor girl in a rich community. My friend had to literally beg on his knees to keep me around, and his father eventually agreed to that on the condition that he chooses when we see each other. We haven't seen each other since. However, my friend has arranged to pay for my dad's apartment so I can still stay there if I want/need to. I don't really want to, since it's practically empty thanks to my aunt, and it's really painful to be reminded of my dad...

      I'm pessimistic about my future. Having no work experience whatsoever, no ability to take care of myself, and nobody to console me, I have a feeling that I'll die soon. Probably within the year.

      In my original journal entry, I ranted about how my aunt, people I knew, nearby teachers and adults, and even my friends didn't give me much consolation. "It's going to be alright" is possibly the worst reassuring phrase I've ever heard. I would have much rather liked to hear something that doesn't seem optimistic or pessimistic. Just something neutral. I actually came up with the phrase "Be strong", which could be taken as "You'll get through this" or as "Accept your fate with dignity". Some friends and even people that I don't even know have commented on this journal saying that exact phrase. To them, thank you very much, even though I didn't exactly want to hear it now.

      I'm seventeen so I have a slim chance of being adopted. To be frank, I don't want to be adopted. I'm incredibly lazy, and I'm so horrible at doing things that I'd probably screw myself over if I tried to get a job and had to pay for damages.

      So I feel bad. I miss my family and friends. I'm pretty much giving up. The thing is, I'm a firm believer in karma. I believe in the whole reaping and sowing concept. I've done some stupid and terrible things. Playing with a girl's feelings and making her confuse her sexuality, impersonating a boy for about half a year at school. Getting drunk. Lying a bunch. Accidentally destroying hundreds, if not thousands of dollars of stuff.

      The point is I fucking deserve it. And now I'm never coming back. Good as dead.

    • Suggestions? Comments?

      in Forums > Suggestions? Comments? | Follow this topic

      L1n

      Leave them here. We will try to use any ideas that seem helpful to the group.

      1 reply

    • Submissions

      in Forums > Submissions | Follow this topic

      L1n

      This is the pseudo-official submission form for all of your Monty-inspired art.

      Please use the form when posting a new image.

      Username: (include your deviantART or other image website usernames too if you want)
      Title: (title it)
      Style: (is it animation, sketches, paintings?)
      Inspiration (optional): (did Monty's work inspire you? what did you see that made you want to create your piece?)
      Permissions: If selected, I (insert name here) will allow Monty to use my art in his future work.

      Clean version below.

      Username:
      Title:
      Style
      Inspiration:
      Permissions: If selected, I _____________ will allow Monty to use my art in his future work.

      2 replies

    • COICA BILL

      in Forums > COICA BILL | Follow this topic

      L1n

      I've made a journal already, but I thought that the world would like to know.


      For all United Staters, you've got a problem on your hands (me too).

      COICA - Combating Online Infringements and Counterfeits Act. This is an online bill designed to "combat online copyright infringement", which was designed to ensure security of the industries and commercial groups in America...

      By taking away the common citizen's rights to the internet.

      Even if COICA doesn't pass, Obama's Administration has a fallback plan - creating backdoors in every possible encryption to tap into online activities. This is worse than the phone tappings that people have started growing accustomed too. Security won't be so secure anymore, since all "private materials" are now in view of the governmental officials. Emails can be read, websites can be hacked into. What's more, if every website has it's own backdoor, hackers can just exploit that to destroy the website.

      www.eff.org/issues/coica-internet-censorship-and-copyright-bill

      www.informationweek.com/blog/main/archives/2010/09/government_puts.html

      For the tl;dr version: You're internetz is getting fucked by the government. Every website you know, if the bill passes, will be shut down.

      Freedom of speech over the internet will be no more.

      ***** The COICA Bill is a essentially censorship bill. Any website that has a remote trace of "copyright infringement" will be put on one of two blacklists. The first blacklist, the one that ISPs will be forced to follow under governmental law, will delete all websites with traces of copyright infringement. The second blacklist, under the Attorney General, will be optional websites ISPs can block (which they WILL do) that the government deems unlawful.

      Fanart websites? Gone. 4chan? Gone. YouTube? Gone.

      Red vs Blue? You'd think that we'd be secure on this website. But the fact of the matter is that we won't. My display picture contains a book cover. That's all the government would need to deem this website copyright infringement and shut it down. This is serious business people. *****

      35 replies

    • Leverage RP

      in Forums > Leverage RP | Follow this topic

      L1n

      "The rich and powerful, they take what they want. People like that. . . corporations like that, they have all the money, they have all the power, and they use it to make people like you go away. We steal it back for you. . . Sometimes bad guys make the best good guys. Right now, you're suffering under an enormous weight. We provide. . . leverage." ~Nathan Ford, Leverage Consulting & Associates


      Based off of the TV show Leverage, this RP will take con-artistry for a spin. If you haven't seen the first episode, please do so... it helps. A lot.

      In Leverage, it's Robin-Hood-meets-Ocean's-Eleven. Throw in a little of Burn Notice too. A five person team consisting of specialists (thieves) outcon the con artists by scamming. Called "jobs", each job has various parts to it. And each job has a pay out... from an extensive amount of money, to the gratitude of a client.

      Leverage Consulting & Associates new branch is hiring... and their looking for RPers who fit specific roles.

      These roles are:

      The Mastermind - con artist, runs every play, knows every trick in the book (will be played by L1n)
      The Hitter - retrieval specialist, fighter, and otherwise
      The Hacker - "One more minute! I just need one more minute to hack into the mainframe."
      The Grifter - the actor, the person who puts on the show to convince the people being conned
      The Thief - the person with extensive knowledge and experience on lock-picking, pickpocketing, stealing rare diamonds, gems, etc.

      The Inside Man (optional, temporary 6th player) - the person on the inside.

      Requirements: No godding, no foul play (rated by L1n), no trolling, no unsupported arguments, must be genre savvy and must have decent grammar skills. Keep the *actions* to a minimum, and attempt to display your actions in a narrative manner.

      Players in the Leverage RP forum will be allowed to audition for the 5 main roles with the exception of the mastermind (that will be played by L1n). There will be three "test" jobs that will be run for said auditions, each of these being altered versions of actual jobs from the TV show. Anyone who does not manage to secure their role will be the antagonists. With code text, I'll be relaying the information to you for the jobs... and your roles in said jobs.

      code text


      Note that there may be more than one group. It's an "accounting office", so there might be multiple branches.

      Please go here to sign up and wait for approval. Here's to hoping that my first actual RP is successful...

      Post edited 2/06/10 1:28PM

      1 reply

  • Comments (441)

    • gi_goku FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Keeper of Tacos

      4 years ago

      If you ever come back just know that we are here for you. I had a really hard time when my mother passed and the community was there for me. I would like to hope that we can be there for you.

    • Tzer

      7 years ago

      HOT DAMN, I TOTALLY CALLED THIS.

    • Biolith

      7 years ago

      Given your track history, I'm not sure I can believe you.

    • silagrev

      7 years ago

      I'm sorry to read about the hardships you're going through. Hope you can power your way through this tough time, if only it were that easy.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      Happy Birthday.

    • zazazazaza FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      7 years ago

      dont worry about it, it will be ok sooner or later.

    • gregory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold time for a story

      7 years ago

      Anytime.

    • LynnFactor

      7 years ago

      No problem. I know what it's like to need people to support you during stuff like that. I hope you're doing well! And legit, feel free to message me whenever you want :)

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      Order a pizza, or maybe some chinese food.

      • vryptex

        7 years ago

        give up food for a month?.....doesnt that equal death?

      • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

        7 years ago

        Oh.

      • L1n

        7 years ago

        I can't... I have to give up food for a full month and there's a whole week left.

        My dad's way of drilling responsibility into me because $300-400 dollars worth of textbooks were destroyed...

    • mah_lazors

      7 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #1:

      Agreed.

    • ConnieEdogawa

      7 years ago

      lol.

    • mah_lazors

      7 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #1:

      Totally does.

    • gregory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold time for a story

      7 years ago

      Oh. I don't have a positive spin for that. Sorry.

    • gregory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold time for a story

      7 years ago

      I'm sorry to hear that. But honestly, I'm sure your dad loves you. You know he was worried when you ran out, and that's why you feel sorry, right? That says something, even if it doesn't feel like it. Be a little bit optimistic!

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      I totally can.

      Also, dongs.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      Dr. Who isn't an addiction. It is a hobby.

      I can quit any time.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      Hahahahaha, that is brilliant.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      Dear Taya,

      I understand this. Totally.

      Ty.

    • meleesoldier

      7 years ago

      Thank you!

    • meleesoldier

      7 years ago

      Take out the halo thingy in the background and change the STG to black too and it'll be perfect.

    • meleesoldier

      7 years ago

      Its a black dead oak tree that has "UNSC" above it and "STG" under it. The background I would like preferably a bland background like a light blue or something.

    • meleesoldier

      7 years ago

      Can I ask a favor? I was wondering if I could get a faction insignia done.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      7 years ago

      Other image I made./Shopped.

      Post edited 7/21/11 2:49PM

    • mah_lazors

      8 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #3:

      It was the cutest Lillipup picture I found within the first few pages of searching it on DA,so I went with it.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      It's better the second time!

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      I adore you for that video.

    • mah_lazors

      8 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #7:

      In reply to L1n, #8:

      Or I can do both :D

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      I don't know. The japanese are just fucked up, I guess.

    • mah_lazors

      8 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #4:

      That's pretty close to my hair style right now, so I may.

    • mah_lazors

      8 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #3:

      Most of the stuff was done with hair longer then what I'll be able to get it to by August =\

    • gregory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold time for a story

      8 years ago

      Aww, think positive Miss Grumpypants!

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Nah, getting a bit late.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Oh, sucks.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Send me a friend request later.

      dacuban14.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      I got it when it wasn't. I'm so underground.

      *hipster*

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      I'm not on right now. I'll give you one later.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Oh.

      Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      You're not polish, right?

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      They seem to be.

      Bet Anonymous did this.

      Blaming Anonymous is like blaming the Polish. They don't care.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      But still...

    • gregory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold time for a story

      8 years ago

      Haha, not a problem.

    • gregory FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold time for a story

      8 years ago

      At first I was like, "Did she not notice my post?"

      Then I was like, "Oh, okay."

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Humph.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      maybe?

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      You can have your mental breakdown next week.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Fathers day. Next week.

    • 41soltice25

      8 years ago

      In reply to L1n, #40:

      eh... no one's perfect. accidents are accidents.

    • DaCuban FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Rooster Speak

      8 years ago

      Nice. I'm just saying, it could happen.

    • CormacM

      8 years ago

      Thank you, I just went and saw it on YouTube 10 minutes later

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