Leus

Male
from Gainesville, FL

  • Activity

    • If you take anything from knowing me:

      8 years ago

      Leus

      Back when I was working in the old folks home in Florida, there was this lady with Parkinson's who was the nicest and most optimistic resident there. Many of the residents were bitter or just plain angry, for perfectly reasonable reasons, and the rest were mostly just spacey or sad. This particular woman, Ruth, was always real refreshing to see and talk to; she'd help push other residents in wheelchairs to their seats, for instance, even though her condition was such that when she'd first arrived she had been in a wheelchair herself. She was always smiling, friendly and concerned. I felt that she deserved to know the positive impact she had on the people around her just by being who she was, so on my final day of working there I decided to tell her.

      Now, I'm very glad I did it; everybody should be able and willing to do things like that every day, in my opinion. But, to this day, if I find myself thinking about it for one reason or another, even just silently to myself, I get embarrassed. I was embarrassed by the prospect of it, trying to decide to do it, I was very nervous when I was walking up behind her in the hall... When I finally tapped her shoulder and said "excuse me," the embarrassment was gone and it was a very amazing and spiritual moment. Though my spiel lasted probably no more than 15 seconds, in that short span of time it was very obvious that this was a beautiful and just thing to do and I was immensely glad to be doing it. But as soon as she hugged me and I'd begun to walk back the other direction, one of the receptionists at the front desk must have overheard and said "awwww!" in a very genuine tone. I immediately became embarrassed again, and had an intense rush as if I'd just done something CRAAAZZYYYY and, like I said, even recalling it today causes me a strange internal embarrassment.

      Why do I feel this way? There is no conceivable reason why that act should be considered wrong in any way, and I definitely don't regret it in the slightest and will always be glad I did it. But WHERE do these unwarranted feelings come from? It seems clear that cultural conditioning has embedded these instinctive responses deep within my consciousness. Now, I have never felt even the most remote conscious desire to subscribe or conform myself to society in any way that I didn't agree with, and have usually prided myself on essentially "marching to the beat of my own drum." Though my ideals have changed drastically throughout the years, I can guarantee myself there is never a time when I would have thought that an act like this should be considered shameful in any way. Even society itself would never openly admit to feeling this way, but it's also very obvious that VAST numbers of people--especially males--are subject to feeling this way.

      I feel like this is a relatively important consideration... The way you think, feel, speak and act... Hell, the way you look, the way you ARE, are all crafted by your environment with direction from your internal processing system known as individual consciousness. Please, NEVER underestimate the impact that your surroundings can have on you, never take for granted the information and material input into your mind and body. Our global society is shaped by the primary force in nature so far: Dominance. Dominance is its own entity, bigger than you, I, or the president of the World Bank. It has crafted nature into what we see today: Gravitational cores, beautiful landscaping of ebb-and-flow climates, and countless diverse species of life that have worked well enough to dominate some real estate here on this planet, Earth, and quite possibly any number of other places. And it has crafted our cultures and societies into machines that seek to perpetuate this motion by any means necessary; the means, in our ever evolving world, becoming things like distracting spectacles and futile outlets for energy such as fear-based loyalties and commodified images.

      We as the human species clearly still enact this natural mode of dominance, but the catch is that this dominance doesn't seek to destroy the other for the sake of destruction but SURVIVAL. In other words, the constant re-expression of energy and subsequent life has been a struggle to try and find a beautiful, sustainable balance so that it can exist in the most beautiful way eternally (and of course, the universe as a whole always has been and always will be doing this.) Our unique position as humans, however, allows us to internalize such concepts, and therefore gives us the VERY REAL possibility of enacting a beautiful, sustainable way of life here on this planet beyond what the natural mode of violent dominance can give us. Famous spiritual thinkers have proved this possibility for millennia, and most of the human race has subscribed to these ideas because it’s obvious to our true selves that this is the right way of thinking.

      Our biological instincts and resulting cultural concepts, of course, tell us to dominate, control, and beat out the competition... But clearly that is not the issue for us humans anymore. If we want to strike the desired balance, we need to do it through what has brought us to this ugly present in the first place: Consciousness. We need to make conscious decisions to live beautifully and treat the rest of the world as if it were the beautiful gift that it is. We need to recognize ourselves as an integral part of this and never think that, just because we are one or few, we have no impact on this world. Please, when you feel it anywhere deep within you, reach out and spread your boundless love to ALL of the deserving creatures and non-creatures of this unified world. Don't let anything hold you back from that.

      Well, that's it I suppose. Hope you can take something from it. I love you. :)

    • Uh oh!

      8 years ago

      Leus

      Anyone still watch me? :)

    • I'm in a Women's Studies class.

      9 years ago

      Leus

      One of my assignments is to tell people I'm in a Women's Studies class and write an essay about their reactions.

      So what do you guys think of this?

      Lol.

    • Oni Rap

      10 years ago

      Leus

      I made a track called Only the Wind Blowin' based on the far-superior Bungie game, Oni. :)

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQeLrZ89SwU

    • Arm drama

      10 years ago

      Leus
      garfnick13 (10:36:47 PM): I was just singing a song from Meatballs and screwed it up. It goes, "-the kids are brats, the food is hideous!" and I got it, "-the food is bad, the kids are hideous!"
      garfnick13 (10:36:52 PM): I like my version better.
      hybrid4994 (10:37:01 PM): bad story
      garfnick13 (10:37:09 PM): Better than yours.
      hybrid4994 (10:40:22 PM): i got bit by a dog, was pouring blood out onto the sidewalk but i felt fine, but some girl ran up and said "i'm a certified nurse, i need you to lie down," i was in the grass with my arm wrapped in a towel and she was applying pressure, it was hot as hell and the nurse said i was looking really pale and asked amanda to call 911. an ambulence nd firetruck came and there were like 10 EMTs all around me. the female owner of the dog was crying hysterically and the cops showed up and were asking questions. the EMTs suggested that they take me to the ER via ambulence so I got in the back and almost passed out when i stood up.
      hybrid4994 (10:40:52 PM): the animal police showed up too before the ambulence took off, and on the ambulence my blood pressure dropped below 90 over something so they put an IV in me and pumped me with some saline. also they hooked up EKG sensors or some shit all over my torso with wires clipped to em. then we got to the hospital and they wheeled me in on a stretcher. i got x-rays, my wounds flushed, dressed and my arm put in a splint. the doctor said i couldn't work for a week
      hybrid4994 (10:41:50 PM): but then i went to the clinic two days later and they said i was fine so i went to work. my arms look pretty gnarly but they feel alright
      hybrid4994 (10:43:02 PM): arm* looks& it* feels*
      hybrid4994 (10:43:05 PM): **
      garfnick13 (10:43:13 PM): yeah, mine was better.
      hybrid4994 (10:43:20 PM): mine was more expensive


      That's my lazy way of telling the overly-dramatic story. Here's some overly-dramatic pics. Most are poor quality but the last two are pretty sharp and gross.

      me_n_pup.jpg
      It all started one normal morning with me and my friend.

      er.jpg
      Then I went to the E.R.

      before2.jpg
      That's vaguely what my arm looked like when they took the dressing off.

      before1-1.jpg
      Another angle. I'm giving the thumbs up with tons of medical equipment on my other arm but you can't see it.

      splint.jpg
      They wrapped my arm in like 6 different things and it ended up as a splint. This was overly dramatic.

      P1010006.jpg
      Within like three days I'd taken everything off and it looked like this.

      P1010004.jpg
      And this.

      pup.jpg
      All because of this.

      (He didn't bite me, some pitbull trying to fight him did. I was rescuing my friend in a daringly noble feat.)

    • What My Name

      10 years ago

      Leus

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZprZy424NLE

      Feat. Hoolz (Uncle Julio) and Spike Roscoe.

    • Public service announcement.

      10 years ago

      Leus

      It took me over twenty years to discover this, so I thought I'd save you all any more potentially wasted time and just tell you upfront: Butternut squash soup is fuckin' DELICIOUS.

  • Comments (2837)

    • GirlAverage

      8 years ago

      Hmm well I have aim and a cell phone with texting capabilities! :D

    • GirlAverage

      8 years ago

      I haven't grown, I still basically look the same. LOL As for facebook, no way, I try to avoid the social networking sites, excluding this one of course.

    • keiichiro

      8 years ago

      Added.

    • GirlAverage

      8 years ago

      OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU GREW UP FAST!

    • KillaKiwi210

      8 years ago

      Hey dude you still in the Ville?

    • darwin

      9 years ago

      Where you at muhfucka?


      Right here, biotch. How've you been?

    • keiichiro

      9 years ago

      You definitely should get both and you should definitely add me when you do! ODST is really fun.

    • KupoNutsGrrl

      9 years ago

      I listened to your music that you linked on the Stoner's Group page...
      kick ass shit dude!
      Keep it up :D

    • wizardmon5

      9 years ago

      I've actually wanted to see Bubba Ho-Tep for some time, now. I'm a fan of Bruce Campbell. Just gotta get around to it. Glad to hear it recommended, I'd actually never heard anything about it except that Bruce was there.

    • wizardmon5

      9 years ago

      That sounds pretty legit.

      So where are you even at, again? I completely lost track of your life, somewhere along the way.

    • keiichiro

      9 years ago

      I think I have to agree, shorter hair is nicer. And lighter and cleaner.

    • nico FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Very cool! I actually prefer the slower tempo on that tune. Ableton?

    • KillaKiwi210

      10 years ago

      www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118065096378#/event.php?eid=99450003731&ref=ts

      Gonna be good times. Been going for the past 3 years. I also have a question for you about this but that will be in a personal message.

      Thanks for the other Link.

    • dragonmanweb FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold What's this?

      10 years ago

      It depends on how busy we are at work. Somewhere between 30 and 35 hours a week.

    • hailed

      10 years ago

      A roller pig.

    • wizardmon5

      10 years ago

      What do being alcoholics and "doing pot" have to do with being victims in this scenario?


      Well if my aunt, like, didn't drink or do pot, and my uncle was a raging alcoholic and high all the time, I could see her wanting to get out of there. But it wasn't like that, so this move is hardly justified.

    • ShotgunBoy

      10 years ago

      Aweosme.

    • hailed

      10 years ago

      The soda abstinence does feel great. Although I've eaten my weight in peanut butter M&Ms this weekend so now I feel absolutely miserable. Totally worth it though.

      I don't know about dar's album. I told him last night I was going to buy him a mini fridge and a microwave and take the dvds and tv out of his room and lock him up in it and not let him out until it's done.

      I'm such a wonderful and supportive girlfriend.

    • wizardmon5

      10 years ago

      That definitely does sound very ME TV-ish.

    • wizardmon5

      10 years ago

      I dunno, that "six-foot-fifty; I don't even know" line sounded a lot like you.

      ...But yeah, okay. Me.

    • CGD FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Because we didn't know if they would have dogs at border checks in eastern Europe, and they've got some pretty good prison sentences for having stuff on you there.

    • MrJacinto Hey I'm Grump

      10 years ago

      Bored?
      Suicidal?
      3 seconds from torching your own scrodim?
      You need STIMULTAINMENT!

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Question mark.

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Have Ventrilo.

    • wizardmon5

      10 years ago

      Ew?!

    • wizardmon5

      10 years ago

      Yeah but aren't there like eight seasons of it? That's a lot of watching. smiley6.gif


      Where at in Florida? I have a few relatives down there. Perhaps next time we visit them (whenever that might be), if you're still around, we'll have to meet up hook up hang out.

      PS - Brooke Skye lives in Florida. If you see her, get me an autograph.

    • wizardmon5

      10 years ago

      [...]and, lately, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. :)


      By "lately" do you mean "like always"?

      And yeah, there are a lot of times when I read journals and don't comment. I'm working on that, though, because... Well, I dunno. Promoting conversation, I guess.

      So where are you two even at? Weren't you in a foreign country for a while? Are you still?

    • Leus

      10 years ago

      www.wolframalpha.com/

    • Missing_Link

      10 years ago

      Couldn't get them on YouTube (only in the States), but I found them on Video Google.

      Effing brilliantly done. And Phillip Glass is an amazing composer.

    • Missing_Link

      10 years ago

      Never heard of them. What do they do?

    • NicoleAnne

      10 years ago

      two dick scenes too many to be watching with my parents.

    • CGD FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      I'm training for fun, really.

      But knowing how to kick ass is always useful.

    • caboosejr13

      10 years ago

      wats up

    • CGD FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Because when I said 'no, second hour' she only heard the no part and thought that she didn't need to wake me.

    • The_Lady_Fey

      10 years ago

      sure it matters. Thanks for telling me.

    • The_Lady_Fey

      10 years ago

      Being that this is the second time you have offended me, I have chosen to leave the thread. You seem like you are PROBABLY a decent person, but we just got off on the wrong foot from the get go. If I see you around the site I promise not to hold it against you. I simply don't have it in me to fight people right now. My life is a disaster, and any little thing can seem like an H Bomb.
      Anyway....there it is. Peace .

    • hailed

      10 years ago

      Our little Tacoma get together was too short-lived. I would say we should meet somewhere in the middle one day and do it again as a double RVB date but everything west of Florida is kind of gay.

      Maybe one day we'll take a trip down that way. My cousin's in Orlando.

    • hailed

      10 years ago

      I've been living the American dream.

      Wait a minute...

      Dunno. dar and I are about to celebrate our four year anniversary. It's on the 23rd. We're going out of town for a day or so on the 21st to re-create our first date.

      Also, I've been creeping around here and reading stuff without commenting. I've noticed you and Amanda are a thing now. Congratulations. You guys are adorable together!

      What have you been up to?

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Nothing forward about that...
      I OD'd on Vyvanse, ADD meds.

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Alright, so you can dope, but you're headed to the bin.
      Next time you beat, don't change the color of your skin.
      Toss shit up in the air *BAM* catch it back again.
      Did Charlie just sock you?
      She rolls her eyes and thinks "men."
      Babe Rooth, ya tooth loose? Fly with yer ears.
      White tear duct tape deck, you know what happens then?
      Bro hits ground hard; should be up before ten.
      One, two, watch that drop.
      That's how a motherfucking bird get knocked.
      Three, four, five, fuck stammer, it's about hammer
      time. rhyme. free change. nice try.
      You're shit's strange. My flow can't die.
      Throw you - sky
      Noon - Shanghai
      HxC - Banzai time
      See my uniqueness will tie that of Jay-Z.
      I you greased your hair back, you might look Swayze.
      Just go ghost. But I won't sigh. pa diddle this rhyme.
      Just in time, let's go...
      Never smoke weed with doors ajar.
      Close your fucking door! I got you? Bizarre.
      Light cigar. Tie for par. I'm so high I'd eat a star.
      -----------------------------------------------------------------
      Btw, your going to guest star in one of my track or two, pimp pro.

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Damn, our past was sure the shit.
      Dewish religions, when PIMP was a hit.
      I reflect on how we'd could open doors,
      back when we still had those fucking pours.
      It's really kind of hard trying to burn a mentor,
      But fuck it, I got one, let's make this hardcore...
      Recalling your girl, adding pictures of whores
      Claiming to be her, cheerleaders galore
      At least now she's not so fucking insecore.
      Hulk hands was hot, PUKE not anymore!
      Just kidding just kidding, you guys are adore.
      Jordan you're a spic... 80.

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Are you attending college, currently?

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Charlie (5atan) 02/24/05 Possible stoner.


      el o elle ohe ell.

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Leus I want to glance at your Dewish Religion you made 5 years back again.
      If, perhaps, you have the file stashed away in some dusty, 'hey i used to be creative' folder...

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      I m still uncertain if I'm going to attend there, Florida is far away from my family and friends, but it did tip the scale when I found out that was your place of residence. I doubt I will attend but during the summer I will be visiting relatives and touring the school.

      Perhaps I could meet you..

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Wtf is Skull and Bones Society?

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      University of Florida in Gainesville.

    • 5atan

      10 years ago

      Guess where I was accepted...
      Go on... just guess...

    • keiichiro

      10 years ago

      The book's basically about how this guy, Shadow gets out of prison and everything just starts to fall downhill from there. He loses more than he had expected to but in the process he meets a strange man, Mr. Wednesday and from there things get even more-so strange. This book involves a lot of mythology as you progress through it, like the Norse Gods. And if you know anything about the days of the week in Norse history you'd know that Wednesday is Odin's Day; therefore Wednesday is Odin. But yeah, Shadow just gets into all these kinds of tasks and strange things just continue to happen to him.

      It is actually a really great read from every person I know who has read it.

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