One of my most recent journals was about New Years Resolutions for 2017 and how I was going to make the most out of this year and so far it's been pretty solid! I found out I made the Dean's List at my college and I successfully started my second semester of freshman year. However, as many of us know, school=stress and stress in particular towards me can be dangerous.
Most of you don't know, but when I was in the third grade I was diagnosed with trichotillomania and for those of you who don't know what that is, it is a body-focused repetitive behavior that is classified as an impulse control disorder which results in pulling one's hair out. Trichotillomania is different for everyone who suffers from it, but for me specifically I tend to pull out my eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair whenever I'm under severe amounts of stress. Even though my case isn't nearly as severe as others, it's led to a lot of problems with body image and self doubt. I've slowly made progress throughout the 10 years I've had it, but the stress of college and volleyball has started to pushing me back a bit.
This year I've decided to take a stand and help control my mental health not only to help improve how I view myself physically, but to prove to myself mentally that I am more than my disorder. That's why starting February and going through my second semester of college, I made a chart to track my progress day by day and see how I did for the day and for the month as a whole. My overall goal is to average Good Days (Yellow) for each month.
I know that I'll have to live with the struggle for the rest of my life, but that doesn't mean I can't take control of my own thoughts and self worth. I'm excited to see progress even if I know that I'll have bad days, but bad days is only a bump on the path to a happier life style.
P.S: For information on trichotillomania, click here to learn more!