MarGarRita

Female
from Toronto, Ontario

  • Activity

    • 5 years ago

      MarGarRita

      Hello all =)
      It has been so long since I have wrote a journal. I remembered I had an account and decided to log on and read all past entries that I put up. LoL I have to say. WOW was I young!! and WOW was I stupid LOL! I haven't been on in so long that I think nobody is following me but that's ok. I decided to come back and write a journal just because its been years, I have lots on my mind that I don't mind sharing and since I'm a stay at home mom right now my conversations are all baby talk. This journal specifically is for my youngest.

      If you know me well then you definitely know that I am a mother of two beautiful girls. They are my everything and being a mother to them is really the best gift ever. Both are just amazing and are two complete opposites. My oldest daughter matured very fast. She grew her first teeth at 4 months old, learned to sit at 6 months, walked at 12 months, talked very well and was very bright (still is!). She didn't have any complications at birth or in the womb or growing up. If anyone met her they would say she's very outgoing. My youngest daughter was born with complications, she is very shy and anxious, grew her first tooth at 11 months old, and is still learning to sit now at 16 months old.

      Let's talk about that a little more. When she was born the cord was wrapped really tight around her neck. She came out blue and purple and didn't take her first breath. All I remember was the doctor immediately taking her away and I hear a beep.. code pink. What does that even mean? Then within seconds it felt like there was 20 people i could be wrong, barge into the room and hover around my little 6 pound baby trying to get her to breath. I can't recall how long it took them to get to her take a breath but when they did they brought her to me and her fingertips were still blue. All night I spent watching her breathe while she slept worried that something wasn't right. The following day we got home and two hours later I saw my baby turn red, then blue, then white. We brought her back to the hospital and found out she was having seizures. We stayed in the hospital for quite some. I felt like I was going crazy. The four walls of the room we stayed in and that nasty mural on the wall made me want to pull my hair out. The nurses and doctors kept yanking at my baby poking her more than 2 dozen times (seriously.) and shoving catheters in her, hurt me. I wish it was me and not her. Anyways... we left the hospital and a week later found ourselves back in the emergency, back in the same room with that ugly ass fucking mural on the wall. My oldest daughter can draw better. Long days went by and we went home with anti convulsant medication for her.

      She's better now =) She took the meds for 1 year. She wasn't diagnosed with anything. She suffered seizure disorder but that's just a term not a diagnosis. Right now she has global developmental delay. That is also not a diagnosis it's just a term that explains she is delayed in all areas of development. I noticed she had trouble learning to sit and grab items so we started seeing a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist and an early interventionist. All of those professionals still tell us that she will get there but on her own time and the seizures greatly affected her muscles. When people see her they look at her like she's a puzzle they need to solve. When people find out she's 16 months and she's not sitting yet they look at her and wonder if I'm hiding something. They wonder If I'm a parent in denial and won't tell anyone that she's diagnosed with something like cerebral palsy or autism. I've gotten a lot of
      "The doctors didn't diagnose her with anything? but she's not even moving"
      "whats wrong with her?"
      "why is she so awkward?"
      "Are you sure you got all the right testing done for her?"
      "tsk.. doctors, they don't know what they are talking about"
      Some people don't show optimism towards her but look at her from head to toe trying to find an answer. I've had extended family nit pick at her and ask questions that don't even make sense to me. Don't get me wrong there are amazing people who are supportive and optimistic. They don't ask for more answers they simply accept. It's not fair that this little baby is being judged all the time but what can I do? The world is full of ignorant people. I can't change anything about them, I can only change myself. So..... to those who are
      unsupportive,
      judgemental,
      ignorant,
      etc...
      FUCK YOU.

      What's really sad is that if she really did have a diagnosis these people would finally treat her with the respect they should have been giving her from the start. I'm not hiding anything and if she did why would you have the right to know anything about me or my family?

      I have learned to be patient. Not to compare children. I learned to ignore those who judge my parenting. I learned not to feel hurt when I hear people talking shit about my kids and talking highly of theirs.

      Thank you to those who are amazing, supportive and understanding. If people just focus on positivity they will see that she's so smart, she's got an amazing personality and everyday she always making amazing progress. I'm proud of her and I'm proud to be her mother. I never knew what parents went through when their children were developing Atypically but now I know and now I understand. I understand that people are cruel. I'm actually grateful that of all the things that could have happened to her, it wasn't anything life threatening. So what if she's Delayed? Delay doesn't mean it will never come it just means it will take time.

    • 7 years ago

      MarGarRita

      Just dropping by to say hello!

    • 7 years ago

      MarGarRita

      Another journal after not coming on here for many years. I'm surprised I even remember the password my account! Anyways...

      The other night I was watching a show called '!Q' Viva' and it's about starting a show in vegas that highlights the talent of the different latin american countries. It's a very interesting show and anything about different cultures always gets my attention. I was very impressed by the argentine groups called impacto malambo and remolino malambo. If you have any time, look them up on youtube. They will impress you.
      Today is Monday and I am off work for the week to relax. I started off my Monday looking up songs I can play on my Ukulele and then got into looking up more about these two dance groups from '!Q'Viva'
      I started to wonder what folk dance from El Salvador was like because I don't know much about El Salvador. Josh is Salvadorian and I have no knowledge on traditional Salvadorian dances or customs. I started looking up traditional clothing, foods, music etc..
      So.... As I started learning.. I realized..... I don't know much about the Philippines!! I'm filipino and I know nothing. I don't know much of the language, foods, traditional clothes, folk dances etc.. Here comes wikipedia and surfing the web about all of what I don't know.
      It actually makes me sad. I have 1 child and another on the way and I can't teach them about any of our cultures. I feel bad that I don't know enough to teach my kids about the philippines. I wish I can teach them how to speak the language and show them where my parents came from. I have to rely on Josh to teach them spanish and salvadorian traditions.
      I now feel determined to learn and I'm hopeful that my parents can help teach my kids what I never learned when I was younger.

    • ....

      12 years ago

      MarGarRita

      ahh.. soo.. im driving home from nielson and finch (kimberly's casa) on a very snowy day... i must admit.. i was going a bit too fast for that weather..
      "i cant the see lanes!! am i between the lanes guys?!?"...
      "who cares just follow the car in front u.. actually go in the left lane.. it the fast lane mar"..
      alright thats coool... [switches lanes...]
      "um.. u guys.. it hink im too far left..."
      "yeah.. go back..."
      [tries but fails to do soo.]
      so yess... as i keep trying.. the car keeps gliding to the left.. AHH!! COME FRIGGIN ON!!! im thinkin.."well hey at least im slowing down..like everyone else on the highway...i can guide the car no worries mar"
      ---/> soo slowing trying to ease into the right lane (let me tell u i was steering the wheel RIGHT!! right I TELL U!!) the car kept gliding.. it had a mind of its own! AHHH!!...
      "guys.. imgoing to hit a wall"
      [they didnt hear me..they were too busy laughing and talking]
      "GUYS!!!!!!!!"
      ron: "yeah mar?"
      BANG!
      "is mar okay?!.. josh! is mar okay?!!?"
      josh: "mar.. u okay?.. mar?!"
      "yeah... my moms going to kill me guys... !!!"
      "are u okay tho..."
      "my moms going to kill me!!!!"
      anyways... got off the nearest exit, parked at a nofrills and josh's parents came to pick us up.. MANN!!! never again =P
      im broke now... but heyy!! everyones okay!! (no other cars involved..) thank god!
      next day.. paintballing..for my birthday.. MANN was i in pain!..
      so long folks! =P

    • wow!!!! long time mannnn

      12 years ago

      MarGarRita

      mannn!!!people suck!!!! i seriously need to move out.. =P

    • FIFA WORLD CUP!!!!!

      13 years ago

      MarGarRita

      ITS ITALY AND FRANCE!!!!!!! WHOSE IT GONNA BE!!!!

    • i havent been on in AGES

      13 years ago

      MarGarRita

      FIFA WORLD CUP!!!! WOO YA WOOOOOOOO

    • hmmm

      13 years ago

      MarGarRita

      i want a banauner

    • w/e

      13 years ago

      MarGarRita

      i dont care...

  • About Me

  • Comments (44)

    • Zanderdude55

      11 years ago

      hey wats up, check out my homepage, if u like me, add me as a friend

    • Chaya

      13 years ago

      Yea.. I'm with BIGNICEJOHN... lets hear some dirt about joe.

    • Charlie

      13 years ago

      I saw your prom pictures on Joe's page. You look adorable!! Have fun smiley11.gif

    • Mauller

      13 years ago

      Well, seeing as how I have you on watch yah, i noticed you were gone.

    • Mauller

      13 years ago

      *high five*

    • Mauller

      13 years ago

      Damn straight and right back at you. smiley8.gif

    • Mauller

      13 years ago

      What? No RAWR to my hotness? smiley8.gif

    • BigNiceJohn

      13 years ago

      You know... I'd love to see journals about the things Joe did as a kid.

      Did he smear creamed corn all over the walls?

      Sorry, the idea of a baby with Joe's giant melon head is really hilarious to me.

    • Mauller

      13 years ago

      I see you smiley8.gif

    • Lukie

      13 years ago

      eats popcorn

    • BlackGoat

      14 years ago

      yap im going to get them all and many more, i just need the funds before i can get them,my dads already going to sign for me

    • TonyOstrich

      14 years ago

      do u know Tomorrow is national "i love you day" If you get this that means your loved. Send this to 10 people in the next 143 mins. and tomorrow will be ur best day ever! HURRY!! Tonight @ 12 your true love will realize that they love you.Something good will happen to u @ 1-4 pm tomorrow, it could be anywhere. Get ready for the biggest shock of ur life, if u break this chain u will be cursed w/ relationship problems for the next 10 years

    • BlackGoat

      14 years ago

      lol I told her on the phone today that if someone comes up to you and says Hi I told them too

    • BlackGoat

      14 years ago

      Yap that's here,although I warn you if you do randomly say hi,she will be with the most annoying girl you'll ever meet
      just figured i'd warn you =P

    • BlackGoat

      14 years ago

      I dont have a way to get to toronto shes taking a greyhound =P I seen underoath already and im going again ,go to my images my girlfriend is in the second picture her name is jaime

    • BlackGoat

      14 years ago

      =D I've seen half the bands on your favourite list, yes including hot hot heat,it was a good show,but I wouldn't have went if my mom hadn't on tickets and cd's and a chance to go meet them of the radiater,I mean radio..ugh!

    • wingsoflead

      14 years ago

      aww yea. lol. you should check out mah new pics i got up =| if you havn't already that is

    • wingsoflead

      14 years ago

      me too.. i was gunna go and see them in toronto. a while back now.. and that failed. like every other concert thats come up but out of town.. lol. SO *crosses fingers* hopefully this doesnt screw up. =)

    • wingsoflead

      14 years ago

      yea me too.. but i think i can dip into my drivers funds for such a show EH? lol ('_' ) CAN... NOT.. WAIT.. haha as you might tell from new journal lmfao.

    • wingsoflead

      14 years ago

      damn straight. lol. tickets on sale, tomorrow... at 10am =)!! buut im not gunna be here.. soo ill have to get ity later.. bastards. haha ARE YOU GOING!? :O!?

    • wingsoflead

      14 years ago

      the one on the 10th at JLC, with alexis .the used .head automatica. no warning??!? lol... !!??!?/=?!

    • wingsoflead

      14 years ago

      HEY. underOATH, SOAD, it dies today and atreyu are fucking awesome *thumbs up*

    • jaspreet007

      14 years ago

      haha yea i think i did see you too! but sadly we didnt get a chance to meet! =(

      yea i was the original red/blue hair guy! then we got lukie, joe, ryan, josh and hathead =P

    • Microbe

      14 years ago

      Red vs Blue is coming to Toronto for their first
      official screening of all 3 seasons
      , right on the
      heels of the Season 3 DVD debut! The show will be held
      on Saturday, July 9th from 1-9pm and admission is
      $10 if you pre-purchase your ticket and $12 if you buy
      at the door.


      The event will be held at Ryerson University in the
      Centre for Computing and Engineering room ENG103, 245
      Church St.
      The doors will be open at 12:30pm and
      we will start the show at 1pm. We're showing all 3
      seasons and some PSA's. We'll also be giving out
      prizes through draws and trivia games! Also, by
      going to our show you'll receive discount coupons for
      stores in the downtown area.

      We have a great MC lined up and don't forget about the
      Q&A session with Gus and Burnie themselves!
      It's their first trip up to Canada EVER so
      we want to make it a memorable one for them!


      There is limited seating so get your tickets
      soon!
      You don't want to miss out on this
      opportunity to meet RvB forum members from near and
      far and for your chance to spend time with Gus &
      Burnie!

      We'll all be getting together at a bar to celebrate
      the night before on Friday, July 8th. Gus and Burnie
      will be there too and will probably show up around
      11pm or midnight. For anyone that would like to buy
      these guys a drink we'll be at Mick E. Fynn's on
      Friday night which is just east of Carlton &
      Yonge.
      Take the subway to College station and walk
      east. It's on the south side of the street just past
      the Golden Griddle. If you're under 19, there's a
      chance you'll get carded so attend at your own risk.

      Please visit our website for more details:
      www.freewebs.com/rvbto
      If you have any questions send e-mail to:
      rvbto@yahoo.ca

      We want to see you all there! Tell your friends and
      together we can make this an RvB event to remember!
      smiley0.gif

    • jaspreet007

      14 years ago

      haha it doesnt look like chinese writing at all to me...but then i see chinese writing on a daily basis here in markham =P

    • theguyacross

      14 years ago

      Thats one mean-ass baby!

    • jaspreet007

      14 years ago

      i'd wear that sweater any day of the week! lol =P

    • Thundera

      14 years ago

      MarOvalsm.gifgar-logo-002.jpgrita_logo_small.jpg

    • Thundera

      14 years ago

      logo.gif

    • Thundera

      14 years ago

      mpco_logo.gif

    • jaspreet007

      14 years ago

      if i go to cuba i'll be too drunk to remember who my friends are lol

    • jaspreet007

      14 years ago

      schweet...another soul is hooked hehehe my plan is working lol

    • jaspreet007

      14 years ago

      haha thx for the comment...i try to keep everyone entertained =P

    • Thundera

      14 years ago

      It was so nice to finally meet you! You're definitely invited out next time too! smiley12.gif

    • Microbe

      14 years ago

      MAR U ARE SOOOO COOOL!!!!!!!!

    • redhott

      14 years ago

      hiiiiiii! hope you had a great b-day. happy belated birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Anomalous

      14 years ago

      hey!! thanks for the birthday greeting!!!! =)


      No problem. Welcome to the most addictive site on the Internet (excluding, of course, all porn).

    • Microbe

      14 years ago

      Hppy Birthday Marianne!!!

    • redhott

      14 years ago

      hi microbes little sis. welcome.
      im new to this stuff as well but ill try to make you feel as welcome as ur bro made me feel.
      :D

    • TricorderGuy

      14 years ago

      Hey. I'm tricorder. I'm probably shorter than you (as Lukie will most likely like to point out to you soon ;) :P)

    • Shashi

      14 years ago

      Hello! Welcome to RVB's forums. I agree with CC =]...have fun here!

    • TheSwmnCello

      14 years ago

      Hi and whatnot.

      ;-)

      Welcome to the forums.

    • cobracomnder

      14 years ago

      Welcome to the Forum and hopefully we will see you at the next RVB in TO event.
      I would give you a +1 cool for being related to Microbe cause he's cool....but there is no where i can mod you for the moment =)

      Again welcome @}--}--

      Your new friend Cobra Commander

    • Microbe

      14 years ago

      She's my sister. Treat her with respect. If you don't make sure you're nowhere near me.

  • Questions

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