from Illinois (Cat Heaven)

  • Activity

    • RvB Cat News

      12 years ago


      Smolesmo found this lost cat in the north Chicago suburbs.
      If you know this cat, message smolesmo!

      This makes me sad. So many cats live with mean people and have to run away. My own past is shrouded in mystery. I remember going home with Linnea from the shelter but before that is a bit of a blur. Hm. I vaguely remember a spaceship hurtling through space... or was it a basket and Pharoah's daughter? It was so long ago it doesn't matter anyway.

      Of course some cats are just too stupid to remember where they live. If Sparky worked up the courage to go outside (he's convinced that everything outside the house is bristling with electricity and wolves - a belief I've encouraged, by the way) I'm certain he would be lost within seconds.


      I've been working on a logo for my WoW movie. I admit I find this all rather bracing. Perhaps it is the spring air. I'm calling myself "MeowWoW Machinima Productions". I looked around the internet and it seems that the longer the name of the company, the smaller the actual productions. This works for me. What do you think?


      Now all I have to do is to decide what to make a movie about. Should it be about an epic struggle between cats and dogs? Or a tale about a champion mouser? Or should I just keep it simple and make it about tuna? I can't decide.

    • And you mock my ability to type

      12 years ago


      I promised Sparky he could have a part in the new machinima I'm making, but he had to promise to not jump so much. I suppose I have to throw him a crumb every now and then, and I do need someone to help me. But he is so pathetically stupid. Yesterday he was doing his business in the litter box and became so frightened at what he had created that he tore off in a mad dash to hide under the bed and in the process knocked over a lamp.

      What a fool. Regardless, he seems to be quite thrilled at the prospect of being in the movie. This morning after Linnea left for some errands I logged on and discovered he'd made this for me:
      "Worship me and despair!" doesn't convey the sentiment I would prefer, but I suppose he meant well. Hmph.

      Today I found a video in which a cat named "Nora" plays the piano. It is pretty impressive, and her performance reminds me somewhat of early Gershwin, or of some of Dusty the Tabby's late neoclassic work. I don't want to brag, as it is unbecoming, but I've gotten rather good at playing Linnea's Yamaha electric keyboard with all four of my paws. I'm working on a new composition I call "Afternoon watching squirrels in A minor".

      In any event, here is Nora, the piano-playing cat.

      I couldn't help but notice that Nora looks suspiciously as though she might be a relative of mine, don't you think? Clearly the gray shorthair breed is a cut above the rest when it comes to musical talent. Sniff.

    • To meow or not to meow

      12 years ago


      Evidently Linnea is working on another one of her stupid films. I keep telling her nobody wants to see Sims characters humping a night elf but she doesn't listen. I did manage to give her the virus I concocted in the secret laboratory I've been maintaining in the office closet, but it looks like she'll recover and there is no sign that she is developing any sort of tail or whiskers. I think I need to rework the formula.

      After helping Sparky with his venture into the world of "I'M IN UR fill in the blank, DOIN fill in the blank" it has occurred to me that there probably aren't enough actual cats working in the cat entertainment field... I mean on the production side. There is plenty of cat exploitation.

      For instance, in the Cat Head Shakespeare Theater, I am very suspicious that those are cat images manipulated by "owners" rather than actual cat acting dubbed by humans... although I was impressed with the butterfly imagery. It really spoke to me.

      I've been playing enough World of Warcraft that I think I could make a machinima... I've even got Sparky playing now (although he is such a n00b... he is always begging for money and constantly jumps up and down. Constantly.) .
      But I keep coming up against the problem of voice acting, because although my cat brethren could understand my vocalizations, there is no way to transmit "sniff nose, rub face against butt, recognize hostile/friendly scent glands" on YouTube.

      I think this has to be my mission. To bring cat entertainment by and for cats to the internet.

      Yes, that will be my mission. That, and more napping.

    • Poisoned Cats and Dogs

      12 years ago


      I am very saddened to hear that so many of my North American cat brethen have died from this tainted food due to Chinese gluten-something. I would normally point my paw at the Evil Chinese Dog Collective, but I understand that many dogs have also perished.

      Here is a link to the story on snopes and a list recalled products.

      I already have kidney problems. Luckily, the only food I'll really accept from Linnea OTHER than human food (such as sushi, yum) is Purina Fancy Feast Salmon Feast in Gravy, which she is forced to buy in large lots from PetsMart. So far the Purina cat food has been clean.


      Ha! How I love seeing her make special trips to fulfill my feline whims! Now, if I sit on her head all night breathing the word "tuna" into her ear, maybe she'll get me some tomorrow.

      If only it would COME OUT as "tuna" and not as "meow-meow". Darn my cat larynx!



      12 years ago



      Linnea left the Photoshop Program running and just left for some errand which hopefully involves tuna. Ha!

      I grabbed the photos and Sparky supplied the gross misspellings and interpretations.

      ...well I think they're funny. Oh, except this one. I think Sparky is in the catnip again... that just makes no sense...



      (U have 2 click on teh links 4 teh other pixxorz - Sparky)















      I hereby announce these all as public domain images. Feel free to copy and distribute as you wish. -Mazha

    • Don't tell anyone...

      12 years ago


      ...but I've been going on World of Warcraft and making bids on all sorts of weird stuff on the Bonechewer server with Linnea's undead Warlock. Linnea will wonder where all her gold went!

      *tee hee*


      She shouldn't be playing WoW anyway. She should be out buying me sushi.

      The jerk!



    • Owned by a Drawer

      12 years ago


      I'm kind of pissed off right now. Well, sort of. I spent all of last night stuck in the bottom drawer of Spyton's dresser. Someone pushed it shut while I was taking a nap.

      I heard Linnea walking around outside at 3 in the morning calling for me and yelling at possoms and rabbits to get off the lawn. She thought I got outside and was eaten by a coyote. Ha. Yeah, I guess I could've meowed or something, but where would be the dignity in that?

      She brought me sushi today. As though that would make up for me being stuck with Spyton's gym shorts for 16 hours. I figure if I keep looking mad she'll bring me more tomorrow. I love tuna roll.

      Here's me practicing my indignant face today:

    • Thanksgiving. Humbug.

      12 years ago


      I don't see why I should look forward to Thanksgiving. I never get any of the good parts. I only really want sushi anyway.


    • Stop, drop and roll.

      12 years ago


      Last night there was an electrical storm, so the power went out, and Linnea lit a bunch of candles. I decided it was finally time to find out what fire smelled like:


      I thought it smelled friendly, so I decided to rub up against it.

      ...any stories she tells you about me running around the house trailing smoke and spreading the odor of singed cat are probably exaggerated.


    • Traitors!

      13 years ago


      Evidently some of my brethren were foolish enough to let themselves be videotaped while speaking your stupid language.

      I must inform the High Council of Cats! This will not be tolerated!

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