from Somerville, MA

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    • Well Alrighty Then...

      13 years ago


      Just when you think it can't get any more stressful, things like to land in your lap that throw you clean from your couch into that tipped-cow position, prone for the rectal invasion that Eris all too gleefully delivers to you with a smile.

      But you know what? Sometimes you just have to turn that around. Sure, you're getting butt-banged, so to speak, but you can make it work for you! You can wear stupor and frustration as your mantle, or like a sash depicting the Mexican flag. You can do it in style!

      Last night when everything seemed on its ear, ( My iPod died, my PC doesn't take any imput from a USB port and my DVD RW drive has pretty much had it. Above that my bank account's screaming. ) it juuust got the better. With an apartment with only one bathroom, two bedrooms and FIVE occupants, we're getting a guest.

      I get to meet Rob's father.

      In my brilliance, and I mean that with every shade of sarcasm imagenable, I redecorated my resume and made my things look pretty-perfect. The cake was iced as I had established and set up a cover letter. All of this embelishment to my text-based one-way ticket to freedom from the mundaety of this place... while I'm sitting in my cubicle. No sooner do I really get thick into the meat and potatoes of this, than the manager-type person appears above my shoulder to ask me a question.

      He saw me working on it.

      It gets better, and I mean this in all honesty, as I'm coeerced into his office. After some conversation, very, very direct at that he asks if I'm looking to move to greener pastures. And then it hits the table with a profound thud. He's interested in keeping me on board. He's willing to stretch out on a limb to keep me.


      WHO IS YO' DADDY?!?!?!?!?!111

    • The Joys Of Co Habitation.

      13 years ago


      Things of interest when living and sleeping and being consistantly around one another:

      - When he shifts in bed, I wake up.
      - When I shift in bed, I bogart the covers.
      - The blankets are too hot for me.
      - My showers are too hot for him.
      - That line about men's testosterone cycles synching up to women's estrogen and whatall is a load of puckey. When I want it in the morning, he's the immovable object. When he wants it at night, I'm too busy with food coma treating my stress from work.
      - I had not believed it till I experienced it myself; men DO actually induce headaches in women. Whereas Rob's chronic migranes have since vanished, I'm at the point where I want to curl under my desk in a fetal position, clutching at my brainpan and suppress tears as the sound of my own sobbing would stab through the skull.
      - Simple and inane conversation can blossom to a "discussion", a "discussion" can be ended with him flopping face-down on the bed and invoking the posture of a lazy ostrich, you know, as one can't dig into synthetic mattressing if they don't have fundage enough to replace it.
      - Noone can resist the humor of Cromartie High.
      - With prolonged exposure, you find similarities getting less similar and more irksome, including when he watches things that involve Amusement Park Mascot Battle Suits.
      - He actually ASKS me to cook.
      - I don't have to ask him to wash my hair for me.

      Go figure.


      13 years ago


      So, I'll be as concise as possible with this entry:

      XMas was the sheezy. I got everything I wanted, and a couple double-gifts which made me squeal in delight because people know me so well.

      Rob's moved in.

      Jake's moved in with Rob because Josh really fubar'd the whole moving process.


      I feel loved, my roommate got me into watching Project Runway and the gift of the year award goes to my dad's new "'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy" misheard lyric-a-day callendar.

      So what's new with all of you? :)

    • <3!|!!!!!11

      13 years ago


      Whatever you celebrate, do it, and do it well!

      Seeya when I'm back from Philly!

    • Going through the motions

      13 years ago


      So I picked up the other ex-Marine, a mutual friend named Jake and got him back to the apartment. Since oh.. nine am or so they've been playing PS2, catching up and all that good crap. We got junk for lunch ( Pizza ) and watched Sin City while consuming mass quantities of food. God that's a hell of a movie.

      Because its sunday this is my day for calling the extended family. Its like going to church with most of the guilt, but more self-affirming. Like, I don't think if I miss a weekend I'm going to hell. Perhaps I put more thought into that then was necessary.

      Rob put in Blood Rayne and I had to exit stage left, its on in the next room and I have to say the voice acting ain't too far removed from underground German bondage porn. Lot of throaty cries of agony that sound a little too much throat and not enough agony. The kind of noise that I'm sure a man has a certain guilt to shifting to.

      I procieded to clean up today, and that involved cleaning up around them. I could see the tug at Rob's face as I was scooping up some pistachio shells. "So how married do you feel?" Putting on my best deadpan I spat back, "You really don't want to know that." and carried on my merry way.

      I can honestly say that's not how I want to spend the rest of my life, and the selfish nit in me kicked up with juuust how casually he put it, but its cool because this week is for him. Afterwards things change because he has to establish him. So I wanted him to have time without stress.

      I'm really happy, to be honest. We got a lot out, we planned a lot and we've found ourselves to have changed. We're taking the steps to settle in to each other again. Me? So far I'm enjoying the ride.

      I know pictures are owed, but they may not happen till after I get home from XMas. My USB port has successfully shorted, all two of them I have at the front of my machine. Methinks Nameless is dying anew. Whatever works, I still have a backup in the form of Mike's.


      13 years ago


      So yesterday I was about the sunny side of EXHAUSTED. I suffered through a full day of work and came home if only to cook. I made meatloaf for the first time in my life and it came out pretty damned good. Of course I'd uttered the famous last words, and reasoned that with an ingredient list of: "mix package, egg, water and 1 pound beef" I couldn't go wrong. Thankfully I hadn't. Grabbed a bottle of wine--which he didn't like and which I couldn't digest in any sort of reasonable way. The thought counted. I was about lit on barely a mouthfull, even with the hearty starch-filled meal before us. But.. it was awesome, I was happy, he was happy and greatful and that's all that mattered by me. I like watching him smile, particularly his slow-burning one that seems to start at his cheeks, it bleeds to his eyes and he all but glows. Things are good. Finally. --Course after ingesting that, molesting him breifly and all of that, I crashed. He tried to wake me later on in the evening, I don't remember waking to tell him no.

      It kind of all fell into place, with all the stress we've had to deal with to get to this point---and yes we're back together--I have to say it reached its highpoint Tuesday. To elaborate:

      At 5:30am I get a text that Rob's landed safe and sound at his layover.
      By 7:05am I'm out, high-tailing it down to the T.
      By 7:45-ish I'm at South Station, and recieve a text that he's boarding his plane from DC to Boston.
      At 8:20 I board the Attleboro train bound for Providence. ETA.. 9:30.
      At 9:20 I get a text message with, "Here."
      At 9:22 I get stuck... because of signal problems, TWO STOPS from where I need to be.

      It gets better. I wind up having to haul a block down to a mall to procure funds because the only ATM in the station is out of cash, the station isn't near the transport station, and Rob's phone died. As soon as I found him, you know, after his near 12 hour flight and at least 1 1/2 hour idling in Providence he just about looked dead to the world. We perked up some, headded outside and waited for a bus with no idea where we were getting off. I told him the best bet is to ride clean through till we saw signs of life. Let it be known here and now, I got noooo love for Rhode Island. We caught up, adjusted to each others' hair ( He has a mess of it now.. and mine's the straightest it's ever been in my life. ) and figured out that we could make it work, that we want it to work, and that if we're intelligent about it, it'll be well worth it.

      So.. no, everything isn't back to normal, per se. And no its not really picking up where we left off. And I'm glad. We're both trying to figure out who and what we are, and maybe I was wrong last time that one can't accomplish that with another person around.

    • IT APPROACHES...!!!

      13 years ago


      Today, Ice Hockey Practice... my first. ZOMG!! Plz be gentle!! If I'm capible of walking there-after, I'm going to get the groceries what are needed to make him dinner. ( He requested meatloaf. I can cook three things: Eggplant Lasagna, Lamb Curry from scratch... and scrambled eggs. This will prove to be educational. )
      Tomorrow, He departs. He flys out of Seattle-Tacoma.
      The Day There-After, He lands in Providence, RI. I don "Girl-garb" and meet him at the airport after taking a convoluted trip involving many a train, bus and automobile.

      I'm housing him till Thursday, where his roommate will pick him up. In the meantime my roommate won't be home. I'm stuck, alone, with someone I have the burning loins for. But thanks to complications.. HELLOOOOO SEXUAL TENSION!

      Let the cold showering begin!

      Also of note, it occurs to me most people haven't ever seen me dressed in all black before. I'm using it to camoflodge as a female. I have a silk top, a velvet design-cut skirt with a silk tie-belt, little velvet shoes, lipgloss in a good muted coral with matching nail polish, black eyeliner and mascara, seamed stockings--the ones that have the line up the back of the leg. I got a velvet and rhinestone choker and dangle earrings to match.

      Oh yes. I would do me.

      I'll probably have to. >_<

    • ACK~!

      13 years ago


      There's thunder, lightening.. AND A SHIT LOAD OF SNOW. O_O;;;!!!!!!!!

    • A Vent, A Rant.

      13 years ago


      I haven't been in the best of moods in the past.. oh, however long. I can't stand December, even if my favorite people have been born during the month. I made the mistake of making an offhand comment to my mother about every Christmas starting with screams, tears, broken dishes and glasses and ended with an awkward level of forced emotional tension resulting from having extended family over. I thought it'd be nice if one year we didn't start that way, and naturally she won't let me hear the end of it. But truthfully.. that's why I have such a passionate love for Halloween. Not only do I get to dress like an ass, I get something for it. And guess what..! NO CLEANING/COOKING/FALSE PRETENSES INVOLVED! I think my Christmas will be fine this year.. I think I have to live that long is all.

      I hadn't really talked on this much except to a select few. Rob's moving to Boston. Of course this happens after the seperation, what can you do? I'm anxious, I'm terrified, I'm hopeful by turns and fatalistic by others. I don't know what to say or do. He's afraid of me, where he'd never been before, and I'm afraid of him in reaction, in effect. I just don't know which way is up.

      My brother's best friend since near infancy, Joey.. well a bit of background on that. A few years ago he'd been diagonosed with a brain tumor. It was sizable, and with therapy and radiation and the inevitable surgery after.. yeah, if you could hand a kid a raw deal. He played basketball, he was quick throwing out jokes or color commentary. Just.. the kid was alive, you know? He's healed up well, but he's slower, both in speach and in movement. I don't know why obnoxiously bad things tend to happen to people who've already been dealt a raw deal: earlier today or sometime yesterday someone broke into his house in Jersey and stole all of his videogames. I'm going to send him $50, that's not enough but its something.. I fucking hate the people that can do this, reguardless of the fact he's gone through shit, you don't take from others what you haven't earned.

      I'm having a hard time waking up come morning. Between the added tiers of stress with the impending holiday, my hate for the month and my history in Decembers past, Robert and the pluses and minuses of that, I'm not happy at work. My patience is taxed something sinful and I'm running to wit's end. More than anything I want to throw my covers over my head and not wake up till January 1st. If only so I can sit up, bewildered, and ask if its really all over and get a positive answer. It sounds melodramatic but even if its not something you do, or something done to you, sometimes the weight is simply in the news of it.

      I've given up cheese in exchange for Vicki giving up cigarettes. So far she's doing well, people that know me think the odds are in her favor I'll crack. I can see why they'd say that. Yesterday coming home I hit up the White Hen ( or Snooty Wawa equivocal ) and pondered over a quick dinner. Cheese. Pizza. Cheese. Baked eggplant parm. Cheese on salads. Cheese on bread. Cheese in a wrap. By this point I'd practically rendered myself to a panic attack, I grabbed a container of beef stew and fled into the bakery.. where not only was I greeted by CHEESECAKE but I had to buy two cakes to soothe myself.

      This compulsive eating shit has to come to an end. I was ranting to Mike, who'd already had about an obnoxious deal over the past couple of days, no faster did I start bitching anew than I found a granola bar in my hand. Far better than it could have been, but I can't even remember the act of walking over to get it. Let alone discarding the wrapper. None of it.

      I swear sometimes I need help of the mental variety.

    • DIY: A Philadelphia Mix CD!

      13 years ago


      These tracks are easily procurable through legal and quasi-legal means. Reccomendations boil towards LimeWire. And maybe when you get a taste, you'll understand why precisely I am as I am.

      1. MFSB: The Sound of Phildelphia
      2. Eve: Philly Cheesesteak Sketch.
      3. The Bloodhound Gang: Pennsylvania.
      4. Electric Amish: Sweet Home Pennsylvania.
      5. G. Love And Special Sauce: I-76.
      6: Magazine: Philadelphia.
      7. Everclear: Pennsylvania Is...
      8. Mike Rocket: The Philly Blues.
      9. Burning Airlines: Tastykake.
      10. Neil Young: Philadelphia.
      11. Bruce Springsteen: The Streets of Philadelphia.
      12.Pink: Going ' to California.

      Now, while some of these songs are kinda sullen and the like.. well, I'd appologize, but at least half of the artist listed are homegrown. I left out A LOT of musicians, and I could go on for days with Philly's current and historical preformers. A whole mess of Motown, the like. But.. I guess, just to take a slice of life. And ironic that, the Tastykake song isn't quite so happy as I'd hoped. And sadly.. no songs singing the praise of Acme Markets.

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