Mirage_2010

Male
from Mineral Wells, TX

  • Activity

    • A guy walks into a bar

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      Guy walks into a bar



      Guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and
      sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be
      thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks.
      "What's up with
      the
      jar?"

      Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money."
      The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three
      tests?"

      Pay first, those are the rules." says the bartender. So the man gives
      him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

      "OK," the bartender says. Here's what you need to do:

      First - You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the
      whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.

      Second, There's a pit bull chained-up outback with a sore tooth. You
      have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

      Third. - There's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never reached
      org*sm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her."

      The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I
      won't
      do
      it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do
      those other things..."

      "Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

      As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he
      asks, Where ez zat tequila?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and
      downs it with a big slurp. Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he
      doesn't make a face.

      Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon
      the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on
      outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and
      then..... silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he
      staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody
      scratches all over his body.



      "Now," he says. "where's the old woman with the sore tooth".

    • Birthday!!!!

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      Yay today is my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • You know

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      You know you live in 2006 when...
      1) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave 2) you haven't played solitaire with real cards in years 3) the real reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have a screen name 4) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the power button on the tv. 6) your boss doesnt even have the ability to do yo 10) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was no 5 11) & now you're laughing at your stupidity 12) repost if you fell for it. you know you did

    • Video of the day

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      I found this while i was searching the web its pretty cool.

      Megaman vs. Quickman

    • Art of the sabre

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      This is an intense video of two asian guys in a lightsabre dual a must watch.

      Art of the Sabre

    • Banned XBOX 360 AD

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      This Is so freakin funny. Sux that it was banned

      XBOX 360 AD

    • Things to do on XBOX Live

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      1. During a game, throw a grenade and run towards it proclaiming, “Come back Froggy!â€Â
      2. When you have the sniper rifle, approach the other team and say, “Any of you guys have a needler you wanna trade with me…I got an itch in my back and can’t reach it with this thing…â€Â
      3. When you get paired with an absolute idiot for a teammate, who keeps betraying and griefing, make absolutely no comment or movement throughout the whole game. Then in the post-game lobby say (like you’re talking to a three-year old): “Way to go _____, you got the most kills! YEEEAAAY! Can I be your friend?â€Â
      4. When getting modded on, boast: “Man, I’m so awesome everyone has to cheat to beat me! This is a great game, because it shows the greatness that is me…†and continue to ramble about how great you are and be sure to thank the opposition for giving you their ultimate compliment.
      5. During a game on Gemini, stand where the little platform is (where the oddball spawns) and sing your favorite song or mimic your favorite comic’s stand-up routine. Afterwards say: “Thank you…You’ve been a terrific audience.†When you get killed come back and say, “Tough crowd.â€Â
      6. On Turf, casually stroll down the street…stopping occasionally to look in the windows. Say, “Those heels would look so good on me.â€Â
      7. On Coagulation, start driving the warthog and talk like you’re on safari. “To our left we see a Spartan with a rocket launcher…let’s stop and see what happens.â€Â
      8. On Containment throw your grenades at your teammates and proclaim: “Snowball Fight!â€Â
      9. On Beaver Creek, go to the middle of the stream…crouch and say. “Man, I didn’t realize how bad I needed to go…â€Â
      10. On Headlong…drive a fully loaded warthog to the water…say, “Last one in is a rotten egg.†Get out and jump in yelling…â€ÂCANNONBALL!†(Be sure to crouch in the air)
      11. Charge a plasma pistol, get all giddy and run around in circles. “Hee Hee, Glowy.†Fire it and act sad, then charge it again and start the process over again.
      12. When you get an overshield…run to your teammates and yell…â€ÂGet it off me! Get it off me!†Likewise, when you get camouflage, cry out: “Oh no! I can’t see myself!â€Â
      13. Go up to your teammate with the rocket, stand on his head, and say…â€ÂOkay…I’m ready for take off…launch me.â€Â
      14. On Terminal…stand by the tracks the whole time and complain that the train isn’t stopping for you. Then stand on the tracks and yell, “Stop! I want on.â€Â
      15. When you get in a wraith, say, “Now I’m my OWN team, craptards! The tables have turned!†laugh evilly and promptly start killing anyone…
      16. On Backwash, follow the monitor around yelling, “Quit laughing!†Continue firing at it and insulting it…you can also include: “And stay away from Cortana, she’s mine!â€Â
      17. You can also hang out near the fireflies on backwash, yelling “Stupid Fireflies!†while trying to kill them…
      18. When you go into any game, say: “I wasn’t paying attention. Are we shirts or skins?â€Â
      19. During the game, right before you get killed with the sword, cry out: “My spleen!†or get creative: “My cerebral cortex!â€Â
      20. Finally, shed a tear for you and I. For all the screaming junior sociopaths you meet in matchmaking . . . they are our future. Ouch.

    • Holy Crap

      13 years ago

      Mirage_2010

      Well i just got negg bombed by some1 who is mad at me and talks like a pirate and my karma sucks so plz mod and comment

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