Happy New Year everybody!
I hope you all have a good one.
8 years agoNecrothrall
I'd though I'd try something new. A top 5 of something with reasons for them. Today's top 5 is "Weapons I'd love to fight a duel with"
1: Bastard Sword. Not the most inventive thing I could think of but I'm pretty good with one, so my chances of survival are increased somewhat.
2: Inter continental nuclear balistic missiles. Why I.C.N.B.M's? Because it would be cool, stupidly over the top and would give me some of the best bragging rights out of anyone in hell.
3: Flamethrowers. This would look cool. I probably wouldn't survive it but it would look fucking awesome.
4: Shotguns. I saw this in a movie once, it was pretty funny.
5: Mortal Kombat. We play mortal kombat and the winner litterally finishes the loser.
so what are your top 5 weapons to fight a duel with?
8 years agoNecrothrall
Ok first things first (obviously), this is not a rant about girls names, nor am I asking for sugestions for any unborn children, no I'm not expecting any, not right now anyway, that I know of... ok I'm single, if there is anyone pregnant out there with my unborn child then you've stolen my dna. Thats very naughty, and might actually be classed as sexual harassment or rape, unless you jabbed a huge fucking needle into my junk then thats assault...
ok that ws a very weird and paranoid tangent I went on there. This entry (he he that's an inuendo) is about me naming all of my electronic appliencies with girls names. I do this so that if I every explode in a fit of rage I wont hit them... with a warhammer, because its not nice to hit girls. I try to come up with names that suite them. For example my computer is a Dell so I called it Dell-ialah, my camera is called Cameron (all though in scotland thats quite often a guy's name too, might have to change that), my mobile is a Nokia so its called Nora, my 360 is called Jean (no I'm not sure why). I'm thinking about naming the controller too, in case it flies at the wall with tremendous speed.
Does anyone else do this or am i just weird? Ok I know I'm weird already so that would make me weirder.
and in case your wondering if i ever have a daughter she's getting called Lucy, I don't know why, I just really like the name.
and if I catch anyone trying to steal my sperm your in big trouble
8 years agoNecrothrall
Ok peeps the rant is back with its next installment, Necrothrall's top 10 pet hates. So there's going to be 10 minirants instead of one big one. Well in no perticular order
1: People lying to me to spare my feelings.
This one really eats at me. Yeah sure it can be seen as a noble thing to do, trying to protect me from the truth. The truth hurst, but so does telling someone a complete fucking lie to stop them from getting hurt. Once you find out that that person lied to you, it damages the trust you have with them, they almost become a lesser friend. Serriousky I'd rather some come clean to my face and show they're honest and trustworthy rather than having them bullshit me into thinking everything is ok.
2: People asking me stupid questions.
There are no stupid questions only stupid people. Not entirely true, but hey it works. We all hate this, and we all do it from time to time, and thats ok, but thats not I'm on about. Its the repeat offenders that really piss me off, namely super market check out people that really fuck me off. Especially with their number one stupid question of all time "would you like a bag?". Of course the answer is yes, why ask, just divvy the bloody things out. You watched me empty a basket of groceries onto the conveyor belt, you watched me put the basket in the wee basket rack, OF COURSE I WANT A FUCKING BAG!, do they think I'm going to walk out the store with it all balanced on my head? I'm sure I can't fit a 10 inch pizza in any of my pockets, just give me a fucking bag already.
3: Another supermarket related hate. The self service checkout.
Is this a money saving ploy? Only needing one person to monitor 8 check outs. Well it probably is. Do I like using them no. Its too much power. Too much can go wrong. What if I accidentally scan this item twice, what happens if it doesn't work. I'm buying alcohol so I still need someone to come and i.d. me. And why did it taake nearly two years for the self service checkouts in tesco Lockerbie to start accepting Scottish £20 notes. The fucking store is in Scotland.
4: Milk tasting
This is a work related thing. When testing milk we have to test every milk tanker and silo that comes in for antibiotics and chemical taint. The chemical taint is a taste test. Well once you've done 40 or so f those in a day your breath really starts to stink. Its so bad you can taste milky halitosis. But thats the worst of it, I don't even know why I'm on the taste pannel, milk gives me diarhea. My guts really hurt after a day of milk testing.
I don't think I need to go into this one too much. They're the cowardly scum that can't take no for an answer. The shit of the world that seem to enjoy causing women (and in rarer cases men) intense emmotional trauma, which will last for the rest of their lives, just so they can get their jollies. I say hang the fucking lot of them.
6: Ticks and other blood sucking parasites
Its not the disgusting factor of these little bastards that I hate. Once you've removed 3 or so ticks form your own skin that goes away. its the audacity that they come allong stick a pointy thing through your skin, drink your blood, occasionally crap in the wound and pottentially give you a disease, without asking. Its my blood you can only have some if you fucking ask first.
7: Large groups of slow moving people blocking corridors/pavements
We all hate them. Now imagine this your in a rush and your trying to get somewhere within walking distance fast, you turn a corner and there they are. A group of slow moving people taking up the entire width of the pavement and wont get out of the way because they are too busy talking to each other to notice. now you can try and go round but the road next to you is very busy and your chances of becoming a statisic are high. You've tried asking politely so that leaves you with 2 options, slow down to an infuriating pace of barge through them, which pisses them off. I wish I could get away with the third option of take your frustration out on them, mmm bloody and satisfying.
They just don't fucking die.
9: People who take ages to text you back
I recon this annoys everyone. Sure they might be busy, but if I need to know something I'd rather I got a reply the same day. Its common curtousy.
10: The scouse accent
This has to be the most grating accent on the planet. For those that don't know scousers are people from liverpool. But not everyone from liverpool has a scouse accent. The Beetles for example come from liverpool but do not have a scouse accent. Put simply the scouse accent makes my flesh crawl. google it if you don't believe me.
8 years agoNecrothrall
I hurt my pinky today
i was taking the bins out to the skip at work, and as I was throwing the first big heavy bag into it I hit the lip of the skip with the bag (it was full of autoclave waste before you ask), and of course the bin men that emptied it yesterday left the fucking wheel lock off. So the skip slides into the wall, knocking the lid down onto my pinky that was still in the way. I didn't notice it was there, I was preoccupied trying not to let a structurely weakened bin bag full of heavy lumps of melted plastic and sterilized biological sludge (it stinks trust me) from crashing into my knees. So I get a skip lid into the middle knuckle of my right pinky.
The bastard tore my finger open in a nasty gash, right on the fucking knuckle. After it stopped bleeding (an hour and a half later I might add) I noticed there was blood under the skin too, go blunt trauma. Now I've got a big blue metal detectable plaster on it, making it hard for me to bend it. Not that I can bend it, hurts too much. And now the rest of my hand hurts now too.
I'm telling you this you don't realize how much you use your pinky until you can't bend it.
8 years agoNecrothrall
That's right bitches its back and so am I, we all know why the few people at watch me watch me, so its time ot give the fans what the want. I'm to opinionated to keep my opinions to myself so here goes
This rant is about sod's law. We all know what sod's law is and we all hate it. But what I want to know is why the fuck does it apply to me all the fucking time. Here's some examples
1: today I've been tired all fucking day, I hurt my back yesterday and couldn't get to sleep last night. I digress, I've been tired all fucking day and now its approaching bed time I'm wide awake. Who law dictates so? That prick sod
2: when I'm at work in my nice boiling hot, or sub-arctic (depending on whether the air con is on or not) lab. Its always fucking sunny when I'm at work and when I finish (or on my day off for that matter) fucking rain. Who's law to the rescue? Sod's
3: I'm finishing off painting an army for a tournament and my fucking standard brush goes bald on the last few figures so I have to end up painting the last few with a fine detail brush (takes fucking forever). Who's law is it that states this will happen? Oh yeah is our old friend Sod.
4: I'm going to a tournament, and I've got everything packed and ready and am waiting at the games workshop for the coach to ferry us away to victory (1out of 3 is a victory in my book and it was a doubles tournament in my defense), when Louis the manager pipes up "does everyone have everything they need?" and I'm thinking yeah I've got everything, oh wait, I've got a warp fire thrower, and a plague priest on a plague furnace, oh shit i didn't bring any templates. Who's law meant I spent the entire hour long bus ride trying to chew a set of blast templates out of their sprue? Fucking Sod.
My point is if that bastard Sod hadn't come up with this law shit like this wouldn't have happened. I bet he was sitting there on day and went "what if there was some rule of nature that really inconvenienced peoples lives?" And then somehow managed to write a formula (yes there is one it was on Q.I) and integrate it into the fabric of the universe. So point is that we should hate this bastard, He's the reason why our lives are inconvenienced, what a fucking cock munch. If he were alive I'd say we should form the worlds largest lynch mob, and fucking televise it on every channel at the same time (with highlights on after 11pm). But unfortunately he's not and I hope he is being raped in the arse by a big fucking hairy demon with a cock the size of a telephone box and the worst b.o in the universe. I know when I'm die I'm gonna hell, and when I get there I'm going to ask for one request before they torture me for eternity, to go and kick the fucking shite out of Sod (and hopefully not stand in any demon spooge while I'm at it).
I have a feeling sod's law will be the thing that kills me too.
8 years agoNecrothrall
For those of you who still read these here's a bit of an update on the Andrea problem
I kinda told here I liked her. Didn't go well. We decided it would be best if we remained friends. Which is great, because she's my best friend, and she's the only preson I feel like I can truely let my guard down and be myself. Although my guard is usually down when I right these, but I think its because I can't get hurt by text.
There was a bit of paranoia on my part that I'd really fucked things up between us, but we talked that out too. And you know what I don't feel too bad. I'm a little sad, but ecstatic that we could remain friends. I gambled everything and could have lost it all but managed to keep my best friend.
So were going back to being like we were last week, where we were happy and carefree for once. And I loved that. So as far as we're concerned the last few days didn't exist. You know really I think I just wanted to spend more time with her.
*sigh* I never get the girl
No questions have been answered yet