NeedsTherapy

Male
from Aus

  • Activity

    • Umad bro?

      8 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      You are now aware you are breathing manually.

      You are now aware your clothes are touching your skin and you can feel it.

      You are now aware everytime you swallow you can hear a crackle.

      You are now aware your nose is always in your peripheral vision.

      You are now aware there is no comfortable place to rest your tongue.

    • Historical quotes....

      8 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but no one understands me.
      -Justin Bieber.

      I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation so I killed myself.
      -Kurt Cobain's ghost.

      *Sidebar: "Bieber" was in my aurocorrect without ever using it before. I know hate this phone for that fact.

    • ........

      8 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

      Trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

    • And the lights all went out...

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      ..in Massachusetts.

      Well that's because they were using an outdated power grid, originally built in the 1920s but funding for both the 1950 and 1970 upgrade was cut. With the population expansion and rapid increase and reliance on technology it's a wonder the system hadn't crashed years earlier.

    • Yeah so, couple o' things........

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      First. Wattup all? It's been a while. Second. Counting down the days until I'm outta this fucking country and in one that might actually be cool. Third, look up Jesus Nazerath on facebook. Be friends with him. He's a cool dude.

      But my last point is about more urinal etiquette. Now every guy does this. Anyone who says they don't is a fucking liar. When you standing at that huge stainless steel wall and there's no one else around, you try and cover as much of that thing as possible. It's easy if you stand in the middle but the real challenge is from either end.

      Anyway. This is cool and all when there's no one around but for the love of all things sacred don't do this when the room is packed and there's a line out the door like it's the fucking women's toilets! I mean come on. Not only are you invading another man's space while you both have your dicks in your hand but when every guy does this, regardless of whose around, he has the dopiest motherfucking look on his face. Whooping is also out of the question. It just brings the mood down.

      That's my piece. Now process.

    • It's been a while...

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      ...Hasn’t it? During my absence a great many things have happened. I got myself a girlfriend and subsequently ditched her. Made some money, lost some money. Took some things I probably shouldn’t have but did invariably have a really good time on them. Possibly the most important thing to happen was I qualified. Three years of being a worthless shitkicker has paid off. I am finally in a place in my life where I’m actually happy. I used to tell people that I was “you know, surviving.†They would look at me strangely and wonder why I kept on with my shitty existence. Why didn’t I just quit? Do something else that wasn’t so hard. They failed to see the bigger picture. Three years is nothing to me. I knew what I was getting into when I chose this life; sure there were times where I wanted to quit but I knew the moment I did that I would instantly regret it. I am a product of my decisions and I can say without doubt that my decisions have made me happy.

      Why am I telling you this? Well something happened to me last night. I uh, had my tarot cards read. Don’t judge me just listen. I was at some chick’s birthday with some close and not so close friends. It was at that stage in the night where I was drunk enough to be open to this sort of thing. Shits and giggles and all that. One of my not so close friends was well, reading people. She asked me if I wanted a reading done. Like I said I was drunk to be willing. This is what she told me. In my recent to not too recent past there was something that affected me emotionally which was the catalyst for something new. Vague at best I know. There have been a few events in my “recent to not too recent past†that could fit that bill. So does everyone else for that matter. She waited for my prompt. I told her to continue. My present involved two things. First was money. Mainly more of it. This description was spot on I have to say. Being qualified means I earn a lot more money. She doesn’t know me well enough to know what I do or that I qualified recently. The second thing was about a woman, possibly who I worked with that I was interested in and maybe the feeling was mutual. This I doubt. Although there are maybe one or two that are smoking hot, my interest is purely of the one night kind. Again, true of us all. My future was about work and the role I was to play. Particularly involving teaching others who were in my previous situation and being what she called “an inspiration†to them. This I can sort of see. There are new apprentices at work; one of whom I am working closely with. I can see myself teaching them how to survive in this hell of an industry. But I also know that I am very impatient and would most likely be a lousy teacher.

      So is it genuine intuition or cleverly spun bullshit? I watched her read a few other people before I got bored with it. She was very good at cold reading. People want to hear certain things about themselves and their lives, especially when it comes to this kind of mysticism. I wanted to hear that my life wasn’t the result of a few scraps of cardboard. That I couldn’t be read. That it was crap. I am far from being a believer but how can you not at least consider the validity of what is shown to you. You sit there and you wonder how they know this much what has happened, what is happening and what will happen to you. All from these little cards with their funny symbols and cryptic phrases. I firmly believe that once is an occurrence, twice is a coincidence and thrice is a pattern. But when it comes to this you have to consider how powerful human gullibility can be. Like I said people want to hear certain things. And when they’re confused or even desperate about their lives they will more than likely believe what anyone tells them. We can very stupid sometimes.

      Who knows? At the very least it’s made me look at things a little differently. Perspective is the key here. And my perspective is this; at least I didn’t pay for it.

      The more you know.

    • Progress

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      I have been drinking at the same pub for 2 years now. Since that time the men's room has always had the doors to the cubicles and the the toilet seats ripped off. Classy I know. They just fixed them this week. It just isn't the same anymore. They just don't make shady drinking holes like they used to.

      The more you know.

    • Friends like these...

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      Ok. So I got my hair cut the other day. Big deal. I know, right? So I catch up with my friends after working non-stop for a solid month and a half and the first thing they ask me is why I didn't write in my facebook page that I cut my hair.

      What. The. Fuck. Did they somehow have to prepare themselves mentally and physically? Does nothing happen unless it gets updated on facebook?



      NeedsTherapy is updating his status.

    • He doesn't like you...

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      ...I don't like you either. You just watch yourself. We're wanted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems.

    • So.....

      9 years ago

      NeedsTherapy

      Wattup?

  • Comments (1153)

    • jennifejz

      6 years ago

      FU!! smiley13.gifsmiley0.gif

    • TheMikeSwitch FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      6 years ago

      Dr Zeus?

    • TiberiusVIII Pizza 4 Life

      6 years ago

      HAPPY FU DAY!

    • MrVash

      6 years ago

      Congrats on being Featured User!

    • tury

      8 years ago

      facebook nigra

    • BirdPhobia

      8 years ago

      where you been?

    • J00J00B33

      9 years ago

      i dunno man.

      chefs can totally be douchebags sometimes.

      So can waiters and waitresses

    • monheadman

      9 years ago

      Wouldn't happen to have skype, would you?

    • BobLablaw

      9 years ago

      Okay, that's cool.

      I'll probably stop watching the staff anyway, I just put them up there to give people non-committal shots.

    • BobLablaw

      9 years ago

      Cool. Thanks man.

      Do you mind putting people to cut too?

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Try me.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      It needs to be 18 here. It's a serious violation of my rights to make me pay taxes and not be able to drink.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Saw some in a local shop the other day.

      Wish it was legal for me to buy it.

      Fucking federal government. Violatin' my rights.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      How many makes you swallow?

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Also, WANT:

      Youngs_Double_Chocolate_Stout_200.jpg

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      You should be in this group:

      roosterteeth.com/groups/profile.php?id=6488

      Hell, you should write for this group.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      As do I, but you're in 'MURICA now boy.

      We don't even understand the concept of quality over quantity.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      One of those costs as much as a case of Keystone Light.

      WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? SOME KIND OF SUGAR DADDY?

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Maybe...I hear that after 3 drinks I can ride you.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      You sir, are a bastard.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Fine, I'll buy you three of that size. But it's going to be Keystone Light.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Why oh why did you have to say Irish Car Bombs? I love those, and have not had one in about a year. Now I am craving.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Only three? My you're a cheap ride.

      Like my grandma's old Volkswagen.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Hey big boy, you give out beard rides?

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      The viagra ones wouldn't make me too happy.

    • VocalDrummer

      10 years ago

      *****VIRGIN ALERT*******

      My spidey senses tell me there;s an unpopped cherry in the vicinity........


      Greatest comment I've ever read.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Ha, yeah, that's a pretty good saying.

      I'm good at food service work it seems. Unfortunately, it seems that I'm good at washing dishes. Which, I'm sure you know, is a shit job.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      It took me forever to figure out how I could make the pun and still make the word moderately properly spelled.

      Also, shit son, that's a lot of eggs.

    • J00J00B33

      10 years ago

      Well, Maybe it's he drinking.

      Or the drinking of whatever someone hands me.

      I haven't decided yet.

    • Degenerate89

      10 years ago

      How so?

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Does anything else really matter?

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Awesome, we get to be pricks and live forever!

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      I know, I laugh at least three times as much as most people.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Yeah, but we're horrible people.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Check comm stats.

    • Degenerate89

      10 years ago

      I got it replicated yesterday.

    • WhenIDie7

      10 years ago

      Hey, don't forget to keep your eye out for someone to nominate for this week's MODel Citizen!

      Remember, we need at least three nominations :-D

    • tury

      10 years ago

      hehe stupid fuck.

    • ownuhard93

      10 years ago

      hey, check out my journal...
      roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=2387225#c13541

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      I tend to have that effect on people.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Ok, but no glove, no love.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Please tell me that's your drunk song. They have to make sure to take it off the playlist or at least keep me from the the microphone when it comes on. Epic Drunkard's song.


      Looks like we have something in common. I have been known to randomly burst out singing that song when trashed, no matter where I am or what is going on. From the beaches, to parties, to bars. Nowhere is safe.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Me and Brian both got pretty smashed when I was over there and in the middle of Halo we started singing that.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Oh yes. Just how I like it. With enough room to riverdance in.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Show a little vag and we'll talk.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      I knew it. Your wily charms will not work on me.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      I think you are trying to make me go gay for you.

    • BobLablaw

      10 years ago

      Yeah, but most people think of Australia when they think of Foster's because the company is Australian.

    • bernardblack

      10 years ago

      give us your email/facebook and stuff and you might get the chance :P

  • Questions

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