8 years agoNyrufa
9 years agoNyrufa
Stuff... it's evil. But not double stuff, like the double stuff Orios.
Yeah, it seems that under normal circumstances, we refer to stuff as crap, junk, or clutter. But when we include stuff into food, we think it's awesome, most specifically with pastries but also with more complex dishes such as poultry.
Remember when your parents used to say "Clean up your stuff" whenever your room was messy? And yet later on in life, you would see a promotional commercial saying "NOW WITH MORE STUFFING THAN EVER!!"
Shut up.... of course you remember... It seems the only time that stuff is almost always wanted is with food, as opposed to wearing it like fashion statements or incorporating stuff into your attitude and personality. Oh sure, sometimes you will be complimented as having the "right stuff" but most of the time, people just bitch at you about the stuff you have. Either out of jealousy or just for the sake of being a total dick.
But now, I have a way to help you deal with your over abundance of stuff to help make your lives easier as a whole. Please give me all your stuff, and I shall go about properly handling it. Preferably shiny stuff, or high tech stuff would be welcome.
Yes, I know, I'm pretty selfless aren't I? You may start building shrines to honor my kindness with whatever stuff you don't already surrender to me.
9 years agoNyrufa
Yeup, another review, so grabs some snacks or sex toys, plop down, and enjoy! First I'm going to start with the bad points which are relatively few compared to the awesomeness of the game. To be honest, I actually see only one major flaw with this game which includes the HORRENDOUS load times in between screen changes. After a while, I actually timed the fucking thing and it took anywhere from 4 to 5 minutes to simply load me going into a building as well as leaving the building to go back out into the city. This get very tedious and annoying after about 5 times, especially since you're running around a very expansive world and engaging in epic quests which require moving through several areas at once, only to pause for 5 minutes out of the action and watch a loading screen. This shaves huge points off the fun factor of an otherwise epicly made RPG.
You play as only one of three different races, but each race has at least 2 different origin stories to them which depend upon your class you pick. Mages start off at the Circle of Magi at all times, but Warriors and Rogues can be a variety of different histories.. There are only three classes which include Warrior, Rogue, and Mage, but if you know where to look, you can unlock 4 specialty classes for each of these three. Each class comes with their own tallent trees, but the specialty classes open up a new talent tree as well. Although only a single branch of skills, which I personally think they should have expanded that more since the normal trees include three different skill branches instead of one.
The specialty classes are for the Mage: Spirit Healer, Arcane Warrior, Shapeshifter, Blood Mage. Warrior: Berserker, Reaver, Champion, Templar. Rogue: Assassin, Bard, Ranger, Duelist. Some of these classes can be obtained only through certain characters offering training, but others can be learned through purchasing books. A very fun prize is that once you unlock them for one character, they are permanently unlocked, so even starting a brand new game does not require tracking these books and trainers down. You may choose your first specialty class at level 7, and then a second class at level 14.
The origin stories are incredibly well thought out and can range anywhere from drama such as with the Magi origin where you betray your own friend to expose his lover for willingly helping out his crimes instead of the Templars thinking she was forced into it, to full on morbid such as if you play as a female city elf and get abducted on your wedding day along with your cousin and a handful of female elves who are raped by a human noble and his guards who also happen to kill your betrothed husband. There are at least 4 possible endings that I am aware of and each of the origin stories seem to directly tie in with each other for the major plot. While you never meet any of the other available starting main characters (as far as I'm aware), you still come across the resulting actions of their origin story. The game even treats you differently depending upon which race, gender, and origin story you have selected, granting a great deal of customization for how you can advance through the game.
Unlike other RPG's, your traveling companions are not simply meat shields who follow you to the death, they have a special meter known as the Approval rating. Depending upon how you effect this meter can open a variety of things such as romances (complete with soft core sex scenes), opening special quests not found by normal means, and in some cases, your allies might even betray you if they hate you enough. If they like you enough, they may also acquire special abilities that they developed from being inspired by your actions.
The game has a large variety of down-loadable content which opens additional quests and items as well, and it has an achievement section to record all the fantastic things you have done in the game.
With the exception of the load times and how they could improve upon the specialty classes like I mentioned before, this game doesn't really seem too bad as far as I'm concerned. The graphics are fucking awesome and at times seem more like a DVD movie than a game, the combat differs between both RTS and Dungeon Crawler styles of game play which you can switch between both at will, and it even has the option to change the game's difficulty in the middle of playing where as most games would force you to choose a difficulty and stick with it to the end.
The way in which you play through the game can also vary from being a kind hearted hero to being a sadistic asshole. While this does not change the ultimate goal of the main quest (kill the arch demon), being an ass while traveling with good companions can lead to some pretty bad reactions, as can performing charitable acts with darker allies in your company.
There do exist occasional finishing moves that characters can do, but these are quite rare and I've only managed to accidentally do them 4 times (3 decapitations, and the fourth being a rogue going ape shit on an ogre by jumping on it and stabbing repeatedly while it fell down dead). Still, they are pretty awesome to look at, if you happen to get the chance.
Normally, I would give this game a perfect score, but the loading time shaves a huge deal off that. I'm aware this is a massive game and loading it all can be quite a chore for your computer, but putting so many of them so close together with such a long waiting period is bound to scare off several fans away after the first 30 minutes or so.
9 years agoNyrufa
Most people who attend this site would likely already be clutching their ass cheeks in anticipation for Left 4 Dead 2, and would probably already know the information I'm about to explain. But screw it, I'm bored and decided to do this to pass the time, by explaining a few things that have changed with the infected from the previous version.
Not only do we have three brand new special infected, but the previous versions seem to have gone through a few more drastic mutations from their original versions. It seems they are constantly evolving, which shall be explained here.
Hunters: The new hunters have undergone a few changes, including the growth of tumors on various parts of their body, the actual addition of claws instead of simply swiping with their bare hands, and their sleeves have been torn off. Not only this, but they have a new mini jump ability which can be used to push survivors as well as their original pounce ability. Their new look makes them much cooler than the original gangster look they had.
Smokers: Originally, Smokers were my favorite zombie class, but now they flat out repulse me. The massive tumors spreading across their skin have mutated into additional mouths, from which, a series of tentacle tongues begin to protrude. Their attack still remains the same, simply ensnare and drag their enemy, but their new look hints that in any future versions, they might be able to snare more than one victim.
Boomers: For the most part, Boomers are the same. Except now, you have a random chance of spawning as either a male or a female model. Yes folks, female Boomers are just as grotesque as you are probably imagining. By some means unknown to be, the survivors have fashioned a boomer bile grenade which when it is thrown, explodes into Boomer puke which effects zombies instead of survivors. This is very useful when you're up against a tank, or just want to piss off the witch by sending the whole horde after her.
Witch: The witch is no longer a little cry baby who sits in some random location and cries a lot, now she is actually mobile and thus harder to avoid. If you are on a map with sunlight, and the witch is currently exposed to it, she will walk around with her face in her hands and cry. This confuses me as a flash light causes her to go batshit, yet sunlight seems relatively peaceful for her.
Tank: Tanks are unchanged from the original version.
Spitter: A new type of female infected who function as a much more dangerous version of the boomer. Although their puke does not attract other zombies, it is highly acidic and will burn through survivors stupid enough to not get out of the way. Also, when the Spitter dies, she explodes into a pool of acid. The Spitter is easily recognized for her dislocated jaw and ridiculously long neck.
Jockey: I fucking hate playing these guys (used a cheat in the demo to do so). Jockeys are tiny zombies who can jump on the back of survivors and guide them around while rending their faces off. Useful for leading them into a swarm of zombies, but the Jockey has way, way too long a recovery time when it's knocked off. It's basically a newer version of the Hunter, except that it's pounce doesn't have as great a distance as it's original counterpart.
Charger: Masturbation zombie, demo tank, crowd control, all good names for this freak of nature. The Charger is pretty much like a test run of being the tank, having one massive sized arm which it can use to bull doze it's way through a crowd of zombies and send the other survivors flying while slamming into one and carrying them away from the group before beating them senseless against the ground. Sadly, although looking very much like a tank and having physical strength to match, it's life energy is about the same as the other special infected, so it can't take the massive levels of damage as an actual tank can. Still, the Charger is definitely a welcome addition to the team and is sure to help even the odds between the survivors improved guns versus the weaponless zombies.
Regular Infected: The only true difference in the regular infected is that now they are much harder to bring down. Originally, simply blowing off an arm or leg would be enough to kill them, but now, they can continue coming after you even after having limbs blown off. The most annoying of these infected are the unique infected which are only available on certain maps, such as the swat teams who have bullet proof armor and can only be killed by attacking from behind, or the CDC zombies which are immune to molotovs thanks to their environmental suits.. They also have clown zombies who's squeaky shoes make them function as a permanent car alarm for any zombies in the surrounding area, summoning the horde simply by walking around. The best way to kill the swat teams are to simply knock them back with melee and then shoot them when they spin around, no other weapon save for grenades is able to penetrate their armor, so you're just wasting bullets with a frontal attack.
10 years agoNyrufa
First Ed Mcman, then Farrah Faucet, then Michael Jackson, AND NOW BILLY MAYS!!
In the span of what I believe to be just 2 weeks, 4 celebrities have all died, with MJ and Billy apparently being mysterious causes.
What exactly is going on? I have no idea, maybe some kind of strange celebrity assassination cult or just one enormous coincidence, but having 4 famous people die in such a short span of time seems a bit strange to me. Sure non-popular people die by the thousands every day, but this is the first time I've heard of celebrities doing it.
10 years agoNyrufa
Those who know me personally might know that I have desperately been wanting my unibrow to finally grow in. Yet despite my patience, it has refused to fully grow in. The most I have gotten is a tiny tuft of barely noticeable hairs growing on the bridge of my nose.
I have finally decided on the perfect solution to jump start my growing of a unibrow by not only shaving the small tuft of hair, but also proceeding to shave off my right eyebrow as well! I now only have my left eyebrow, a singular eyebrow also known as a unibrow!
Some of you may call me retarded, others may call me a genius, others may throw themselves at my feet begging to have my bastard children.
But regardless of what you say, not one single member of you can honestly declare that your mind isn't psychically tearing you apart for not having invented this glorious achievement towards achieving the state of "Singular Brow" which I have now also invented, another thing your mind will be tearing itself apart for not thinking of!
10 years agoNyrufa
Here is yet another video game review centered on the Game Boy Advance game known simply as Megaman and Bass. Now as any one who grew up in the 80's through the 90's is aware, Megaman is pure awesome. It is one of the most memorable robot fighting series in the history of entertainment, being rivaled only by Gundam and possibly Mech Warrior. But Megaman and Bass for the GBA is just a flat out piece of shit!
If it didn't have the huge Capcom logo when starting the game, I'd almost swear this was made by a 3rd party who decided to try making a bull shit version of Megaman! The game seems to have little plot consistency, pulling twists and surprises completely out of their asses with absolutely no explanation prior to or afterward as to what the fuck is going on.
You play as either Megaman (the major hero) or Bass (an evil robot working for Wily who intends to kill Megaman).
"Oh BOY! We can play the same story from opposite sides trying to save the world or destroy it, right!?"
WRONG!!! No matter who you choose, the story is exactly the same just with a different character. You plan to save the earth from evil robots, despite the fact that Bass himself is evil and working for the bad guys!!! What's Bass' excuse for trying to take them down? There is a new robot on the block who's leading the army and claims to be the most powerful robot in the world. Bass has a huge ego and decides to prove him wrong. At least that's how it initially begins.
Later on in the story, Bass suddenly develops human feelings and when the evil robot overlord starts asking him why he's helping humans and how humans are inferior to robots, Bass quotes "But humans made us." as if he suddenly thinks Humans are all nice and friendly, only to whip right around at the end of the game declaring how it will be him who destroys the world and Megaman! What a crock of shit.
And I fucking dare you to try playing this game the whole way through without googling the hell out of codebreaker and action replay (gameshark) codes after only the first boss. This game is hard, and I don't mean that as in challenging, I mean Ninja Gaiden for Xbox difficulty! Honestly, I could not possibly beat this game without loading my emulator with every cheat code I could find including infinite ammo because of one part in the game which I think the game designers were just fucking with us as you have to rely on blind luck to pass it if you don't have unlimited weapon power.
Speaking of weapons, there is apparently no elemental weaknesses for any of the bosses. No matter what weapon you choose to fight a boss with, they are all equally effective (or useless) as the next one. Which makes the very point of using those weapons worthless. I tried fighting Burner Man with an ice attack (this is the most logical thing to do in other megaman games) and it did virtually nothing... Barely taking out a single life point. I tried the remote mine I got from Pirateman (water boss) and that didn't do much either. These new weapons are useless except for on one stage where they are a fucking requirement.
That stage is called the "Path to the King" or some bullshit like that in which you have to use every boss weapon to destroy these glowing blocks to advance to the next stage. For most of them, they are extremely easy, except for Pirateman who you need to guide his remote mine down a narrow shaft, over a lump, and land on the block to detonate it. Yes, the bomb can be steered, but it flies so fucking fast that it took me 10 tries just to master getting it down the tunnel and another 5 tries just to get on the fucking block. if you ran out of ammo, you'd have to backtrack to a different level and collect power chips to recharge your ammo. That is horseshit.
And Protoman at one point in the game uses an attack which (I shit you not) he calls "Big Bang Shot" and it is an exact rip off of Vegeta's Big Bang Attack complete with charging energy into his fist and everything.
I only had enough patience to play Bass' story before I wrote this review which he doesn't make any sense because during the end of the game, they start talking about how bass is a slave to Wily and how he serves him while trying to kill Megaman, and yet he uses help from Roll, Dr. Light, and some inventor robot shop keeper who are perfectly well known for being on MEGAMAN's side of the war!!!
The game also has somewhat poor translation if you check the data disks about various characters throughout the entire Megaman universe. It lists their names, a picture of them, their origins, and even a sheet about their likes and dislikes as well as their good and bad points. But some of these points are just confusing, like on one character's dislikes, it simply puts "Whip".... well what the fuck is Whip, why does he dislike it, is it a person, a food, a movie? It doesn't say! And that's not the only example of such strange or downright pathetic listing of character likes and dislikes, that's just one of the examples.
They may have put the Capcom logo on this game's start up screen, but I think it was just a bull shit way of giving them tribute for making the Megaman series before they raped it to death.
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