R3TR0Y

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from Holland

  • Activity

    • 3 years ago

      R3TR0Y
    • Chuck Norris rules because (part 2):

      12 years ago

      R3TR0Y

      * Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.

      * Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

      * Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

      * Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

      * As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

      * Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?†contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

    • Chuck Norris rules because:

      12 years ago

      R3TR0Y

      Top Eleven Chuck Norris Facts:

      1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

      2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

      3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

      4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

      5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

      6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

      7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
      the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

      8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

      9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

      10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

      11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

      Additional Chuck Norris Facts

      * Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

      * Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

      * Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

      * The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

      * If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.†After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?†he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

      * Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

      * Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

      * There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

      * Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

      * Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

      * Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

      * When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

      * The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

      * A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

      * Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

      * Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

      * Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II†video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,†Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.â€Â

      * The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan†is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

      * Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!â€Â

      * Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

      * Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

      * Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

      * Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

      * Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

      * Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris

      * Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle â€' you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

      * Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

      * Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

      * If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

      * Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

      * Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

      * The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

      * In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

      * Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

      * Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

      * Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends cou

    • Drivers Licence

      13 years ago

      R3TR0Y

      Whoohoo! Yesterday I got my drivers licence! Now all I need is a car ¬¬

    • New images

      13 years ago

      R3TR0Y

      You will never believe what just happend. After a long while I checked my Photobucket account and found these very cool Red vs Blue MSN Messenger (or forum) images! I don't remember who made them, but I can only tell you they look really cool! I would like to thank the person who made this!

      Use them, they'll make you look cool on MSN ;0

    • Hot sun

      14 years ago

      R3TR0Y

      Damn it was hot today... I'm so burned, it really hurts xD Should have used sun block then, right ;0

    • Monday october 4

      14 years ago

      R3TR0Y

      Yihaw it's monday. Wait... That's not that great. Well too bad =P I'm gonna watch some tv now and make some homework after dinner. Later!

    • 2019 years ago

      R3TR0Y
    • 2019 years ago

      R3TR0Y
    • 2019 years ago

      R3TR0Y
  • Comments (27)

    • R3TR0Y

      8 years ago

      Thanks :D

    • philippeHC

      8 years ago

      happy FU day! :)

    • R3TR0Y

      8 years ago

      Thanks!!! smiley0.gif

    • Caiti FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Velvet Scarlatina

      8 years ago

      Hey there featured user!

      Congrats! smiley13.gif

    • awsomeness

      11 years ago

      I hate to be the douche fag who asks for votes, but...
      *Some inspirational anthem in the background*
      I, Awsomeness, am running for moderator of the Psychology and Theology forum. Its pretty much a popularity contest and I am trying to beat out all the idiots who just want to be a mod for the power and status. I ask you, to please vote for me. You are also eligible to win a sponsorship from me. Read my journal for more details.

      VOTE NOW BEFORE THE IDIOTS GET IN!
      www.roosterteeth.com/nominations/forum.php?fid=38

    • ZykosKodiac

      11 years ago

      Yes!!! De beste wensen idd nog =)!!!!

    • nofxmn1

      13 years ago

      yo yo!!

    • No_1_Specia1

      13 years ago

      blue_caboose.jpg

    • R3TR0Y

      13 years ago

      Yeah, and like I said before, I didn't make the images. But thanks anyway ;0

    • BloodPaladin

      13 years ago

      did you realize that your primary image says private but has the symbol for corpral?

    • el_taco_feo

      13 years ago

      THIS IS THE FINAL ROUND

      hi this is el_taco_feo and I need you vote for IAMCHURCH'S contest here is the link for the contest rvb.roosterteeth.com/members/journal/entry.php?id=673072

      please vote because every vote counts....so please vote el_feo_taco and pass it on if you can.
      THANK YOU

      If you make a vote, make it el_taco_feo........the ugly taco depends on it ^_^

    • ZykosKodiac

      13 years ago

      Merry Christmas Royyyyy :D:D:D!

    • chadsk8r91

      13 years ago

      Why men are happier then woman.
      1. We keep our last name.
      2. The garage is all ours.
      3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
      4. Chocolate is just another snack.
      5. We can be president.
      6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
      7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
      8. The world is our urinal.
      9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
      10. Same work, more pay.
      11. Wrinkles add character.
      12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
      13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
      14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
      15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
      16. One mood, ALL the time.
      17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
      18. We know stuff about tanks.
      19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
      20. We can open all our own jars.
      21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
      22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
      23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
      24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
      25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
      26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
      27. We almost never have strap problems in public
      28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
      29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
      30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
      31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
      32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
      33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
      34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
      35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

    • ZykosKodiac

      13 years ago

      Yup I'll invite you next time :D:D:D!!!!!!

      Anyway XD 40 minutes before I have to leave and then ÃÂ'm off to war LOL! XD

    • ZykosKodiac

      13 years ago

      Yeah but it was a very important lesson XD so that's why I couldn't leaveeeeee XD oh well. Normally I would've left anyway :P.

      xxxx

    • R3TR0Y

      13 years ago

      Spanks man!

    • a_chickenbut

      13 years ago

      heres some more mod points

    • R3TR0Y

      13 years ago

      Who are you anyway? But I added you... Gimme karma now!!! =P

    • ed102h

      13 years ago

      DUDE ADD ME

    • ZykosKodiac

      13 years ago

      yeaah now I'm finally here, isn't that great!!! It's kickass lolll!

      <33 xxx!

    • R3TR0Y

      13 years ago

      Hi Amber! Nice :D I've been waiting for you to join :)

    • ZykosKodiac

      13 years ago

      Helloooo Roy! I've signed up for the site so offcourse I want you in my friends list!
      Accept bitch! XD!

      haha jk! <333333 Amber

    • Parkersaid RT + SA

      13 years ago

      Thank you for all those icons!

    • sawdust64

      13 years ago

      well thanks for the mods but it really is mine, i have had that nick name since 6th grade but it okay like i said i got stuff to put on the end

    • Mehheh

      13 years ago

      Hi! Please add SpaZMonKeY to your friends list, and say I sent you in his journal. Yay!

    • R3TR0Y

      13 years ago

      Omg... I've been using this nick for over a year on this site. So, I guess it's mine ;0

      Sorry man, have some mod points xD

    • sawdust64

      13 years ago

      you stole my name jerk
      sawdust is MY nickname i cant believe you stole it
      your just lucky i have stuff to put on the end so i can still use it

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