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from Brooklyn Center, MN

  • Activity

    • End of Week 2

      5 years ago


      I can't believe that its already the end of the week. This week has been more or less productive than last week. I did do a t-shirt design, but it didn't turn out as great. It's not one of my best works. I suppose I should have worked on it some more.

      On another note, I did manage to get two sketches done this week. However, it is still not as great. I suppose I will continue to do sketches and do my own comics on my deviant art page. As for the RT website, I think perhaps I'll have to get more and more involved. I don't know exactly how and I believe I'll be reminded of how the game is being played or rather how I'm playing the game.

      The world is a competition and mostly everyone is there for themselves. I've written my opinions about it on another post but I feel like everyone is simply there to enjoy the show and get their foot in their door. I feel that this concept hinders my want to get more involved as I am the same as any other person who is trying to do "good" on this website.

      I suppose its best to just play the "game" as it is. Everything is a competition. A competition to get into Roosterteeth. It may seem dramatic but it's sort of true. No one really just makes content for the "fun" of it, at least not entirely. I'm sure there are plenty of good on this website and those who just want to enjoy the content, that is true. However, you never really know if someone has an agenda.

    • Distracted

      5 years ago


      I am enormously distracted by HIMYM. All this hate and rage boiling under the surface. I've posted multiple things on my tumblr page. It's horrific what the writers did to these beloved characters. It was like a giant final slap to the face.

      However, I guess I need other distractions as well. A distraction to my first distraction. I know it doesn't sound productive in the slightest, but I just feel that the show was given a poor ending. It's offensive how terrible it got in 5 minutes or less. Truly terrifying. I can't say that I am looking forward to HIMYD. Hell, I can't even say I can go back to watching previous episodes.

      The ending of HIMYM has shaken my very core.

      As you may not know, I am a hopeless romantic. Now before I go any farther, people will say, "Dude, its just a tv show man." It wasn't just a tv show to me. It was more than that. I don't want to ever say to anyone that something they loved so much was just a tv show. This is not the case at all.

      I am a hopeless romantic and so was Ted. Ted believed in destiny or fate. The entirety of the show revolved around the idea that was coming your way. Love was coming in the form of perfection, in the form of change. Love was coming. And yet in the end of the finale, Ted runs off and goes back to Robin. I felt that he had thrown away perfection . He had thrown away his true love. In a sense, he threw away his destiny.

      The finale contradicted everything we know and it makes Ted look like a big d-bag. The finale rewrites the characters and degrades them to nothing better than what they became throughout the years.

      Being a hopeless romantic, you hope that nearly every relationship you had would be the one. You would love them to the fullest of your abilities. But to see HIMYM do that to Ted, the ultimate hopeless romantic, the guy who is constantly looking for the one, makes me question everything the show stands for.

      The show is a great big lie about love. It dashes away at having true love and being with your soulmate. It dashes away the greater love that could be found within people. It dashes away the fact that people can fully move on and fully love each other. I guess loving each other was not the best thing that they did. It's really sad to see HIMYM turn out this way. Truly.

    • How I Hated the Series Finale

      5 years ago


      HIMYM summed in a few words....


    • Phase 1: Tutorials

      5 years ago


      Perhaps the first step to getting back at anything is learning the know-how. For this week in my break, I would like to focus on T-shirts design. For this reason, the first place to get the know-how is YouTube. Thus begins the grinding section of getting better. The unrelenting watching of tutorials, learning all the mechanics, the tools, and the know-how. I hope that this will help me. I will be honest I can't really stand long tutorials nor can I really stand short tutorials. I just want to get it done. There is some paradox as I have to first learn it to get it done and if I don't watch the long tutorial how will I know? So, I have to put my nose to the grindstone as they say and watch these tutorials.

    • End of Week 1

      5 years ago


      Tonight marks the end of the first week of my spring break. Honestly, I have not been as productive as I hoped. I have only made three sketches. It is an excuse, but I just felt that I couldn't draw anything. I felt that I should only sketch when I felt like sketching or felt like drawing something. Is it not better to draw something that you enjoy or draw in a good mood? I felt that this wasn't the case for this week.

      To be even more honest, after looking at some of the better artists, including the artists on this website, I just didn't feel like drawing. Those artists are definitely going somewhere. They've certainly have skills in the drawing, coloring, and photo painting department. It's amazing how great their skill is. Still, when I look at my own work, I don't see skill. I see shaky hands, bad jaggy lines, and badly colored and badly shaded coloring. Perhaps I am too much in my head and too concerned about other people's work getting to me.

      While that may be true, I can't not acknowledge their grand skill. They are great artists and so they will get most of the attention. Before going farther, allow me to get one thing straight: I am not looking for pity or sympathy. I'm merely trying to make sense of things. Back to what I was saying, great artists usually get the attention. This is true. Great and/or good artists get hired. Their hard work definitely says so.

      Of course, this does not mean that those who are not of equal skill as them do not share any amount of hard work. Hell, they might even work harder. I am one of those people who thinks that I am just mediocre or maybe even less so. In spite of this, I am not trying to make it look like I am trying to bring myself down.

      All that I am saying is that I have an appreciation for people who work hard and their artwork certainly shows for it. All that I'm trying to say is, is my artwork worth it? Would others view my artwork? Would I view the artwork of others? I certainly hope that people will and that I will do the same to others. I will definitely look at other people's artwork and tell them that its amazing.

      I know that a lot of artists say that their stuff isn't as good or isn't good at the slightest. I know it and I know that they may say that to get some reassurance. I feel like I want some reassurance, but it can't come from anyone else, but myself. I have to reassure myself that my work is worth it, that people would like to see it. One of these days, my work will be viewed. If it doesn't, it won't go to waste.

      I guess I have to continue telling myself that some parts, though it may be very few, will view my artwork. Even though I only touched a few people, at the very least, I still touched a few people. That being said, it sounds too optimistic. Too optimistic in the sense that this isn't really how the world works. Sure, I can say that some people enjoy my work, but it won't be as good as thousands of people enjoying my work.

      I guess the human race or rather the human person is selfish in that way. We and by we I mean I are never really happy about the number of people that see us. All or more people must see us for who we are. We want to be accepted, we want to be praised, we want to be liked. I think all people are like this. I just think some are better at hiding it than others.

      Still, I'm sure they envy others as sure as I envy those super talented artists. I will admit that I envy them. I will also admit that my work may never, ever reach their status. Yet, I don't feel like giving up. I don't want to because people are different. People like different things. People have different appreciations. If I give up now, I may never get to see those people. Even if I worked my ass off for the rest of my life and I don't see anyone see my work, it would still be nice to know that I got my stuff out there. That I am still a small part of a large history of the world. The thing about history is that while we may not remember everyone, there's got to be someone who certainly does.

      The more I think about it, the more I don't want this to be about me at all. I want it to be more about legacy, about the legacy of people. While I may not be as great as those artists on here and while there are artists who may not be noticed, we should still remember that they are people. They are doing something, they are building something. This is their legacy. We should, at the very least, respect that. Respect the work, even if it's not as great in our standards or the standards of the people. We should respect it and appreciate it.

      To end, tomorrow is a new day and a new day to get better and be productive.

    • Initiative or Not

      5 years ago


      When is it okay to take the "initiative?" Should one always attempt to make the initiative?

      In the sense of a team or a group of individuals, I believe that taking the initiative to be the leader or rather to get the group moving is necessary. Some may say that having the initiative to step up and lead the group or pick up the group's "slack" is good. However, others may also say that it isn't exactly appropriate for someone to take the initiative simply because there was a "plan."

      The plan did not require any initiative from the group. Rather it required the group leader or head to do what they are expected to do. Showing up the person may result in negative criticism from the rest of the group. In that sense, is taking the initiative always a good thing? In particularly when one feels that one can accomplish these things. Is it truly up to someone to take the initiative within a group? Is it their responsibility? Is taking the initiative a good thing for a team?

      As with most things, there are pros and cons to taking the initiative. The obvious pro is that the gears begin to move again. Everything begins to flow and the team is once again productive. The group is once more heading in the right direction. While there are cons, the cons mainly pertain to others than to the productivity of the group. The person who may have been heading up the group can be made to look bad for not doing their work. Simply put, the person taking initiative makes the leader look bad. In some sense, a con about taking the initiative could relate to the timing of it.

      Does the group really need someone to take initiative? Should one allow the group to continue without anyone taking initiation? With the group stalled it should be good for the group to continue. I would assume that everyone would agree with having the group move forward is a good thing. Of course, that is all well and good within the group.

      With this in mind, I want to shift gears a bit to groups on Roosterteeth itself. Should one make the initiative when one does not technically belong to the group? What I mean is when someone does not belong in the "admins" section of a group. Should one then take the initiative to do the same things as those in the admins group even though they are not granted the same level of power within the group? I understand that it could be confusing, however I believe there's something more than just being a regular member in a typical group.

      I suppose this is all about personal reference and whatnot. It depends on how much one wants to be involved in a group? If everyone wants to be involved, should they not take the initiative? Are we all just waiting for someone to take the initiative in a group. Now I am not pointing out any particular groups. I am merely expressing my thoughts on getting more involved within a group.

      I understand that getting involved in a group is good and getting closer and doing something more for the group is great. However, should one allow the group to just get back on its own two feet? Is taking the initiative necessary? Then again, I think everyone would just be waiting for someone to take the initiative and someone like me wondering or not to take the initiative.

    • Quick Sketch - Who I Am and Who I will Be

      5 years ago



      The concept is about the struggle of who we will be and who we will become. At times it can be difficult to change. Other times, we find ourselves being stuck to the past.

    • Reassurance & Call back

      5 years ago


      This journal entry, honestly, is for myself. That being said, all journal entries are for myself as they express my opinions, thoughts, and whatnot. For this reason, I feel like I need to re-focus the majority of my drawing into standalone sketches or just sketches in general. In this sense, I will begin to do more sketches and quite possibly pause making comic strips. I want to increase my drawing skill. As for now, I think getting better at drawing is best. It can be argued that drawing comics equates to better skill as it does entail drawing. However, it has some restrictions. There is a "creativity" restriction as the characters must remain the same. With sketches, I can go a bit more crazy with design.

      I believe this would definitely help myself with design and drawing. I also hope to do more photography editing and whatnot. I really want to get more and more practice with Photoshop and Flash. This is my thinking process right now for my deviant art account. I posted this exact journal on that side.

      In that sense of being more creative and being more experienced, I think I will try to comment more and try to be more involved in the community. It will be somewhat difficult as there are so many voices. However, I think it can be done. Referring back to my previous journal entry, I have thought a lot about the next 7 years. I want to be at least working for RT at that time. Of course, plans change.

      I don't exactly know exactly where I will be, but I know that I want to be in Texas in the very least. I don't know exactly how I will get in either, but I believe getting experience and knowing the community is key to getting a foot in the door. I've heard a saying once: If one door closes, you can just open that door again because thats how doors work. While this may not be exactly true as people would "lock" those doors, it is all possible to come back. Opportunities are not limited to one time, but they are limited to that time.

      For this reason, I believe I have to take these "opportunities" where they come; whether from making friends or creating designs for RT just for the fun of it. I think thats most important right now. Experience and who you know. While it can be daunting, I think it is necessary. I also find that maybe shortly after writing this I may not do it at all. I suppose that will be up to me on how badly I want this. How badly I want to get better.

      How badly I want to do the things I want to do. Persistence and determination gets us somewhere. If it doesn't, then we shouldn't give up. I shouldn't give up. I think it takes a combination of all things. At times I will need persistence and determination and other times I will need a new direction, a new focus or rather a new focus on the same thing. I feel like I am going on forever. What I am saying is merely: don't give up. I don't want to give up building this road.

    • Spring Break

      5 years ago


      Today marks the first official day of Spring Break for me. Honestly, I want to accomplish a lot this week concerning comics and trying to find a job. However, I also feel like taking a break. Just to take a break and not worry so much about getting a job right now. I understand its necessary for job experience.

      There can be tons of excuses that I can make, but it has to be done. This spring break will probably be like a catch up week when I attempt to apply for a lot of jobs and create a ton of content, either T-shirt designs or RT drawings and whatnot.

      I don't know particularly what will be done because I have other things I am required to do as I live here. My situation isn't that difficult and doesn't hold my work back. At times, I'm not in the mood to draw and when I attempt to draw, I don't feel like it. I'm trying to put a lot of my work out there for my portfolio. While this may be true, I have to use the best ones for the portfolio. I don't want to just draw or design for the sake of designing or drawing. That being said, it should be done still, simply because experience is experience.

      Either by my own or in a job. The only question is how much do I want to accomplish this spring break?

    • Finals

      5 years ago


      My eyes are so tired right now. I just completed my research paper, which took about six hours to write. I hope that I do good on this paper. I now have to go and reply to discussions as well as take a quiz tomorrow. I can't wait for finals to be over with. Then break, then back to school. :D

      So much fun, right? Anywho, I should get back to it. This week isn't over yet.

      And then, in two weeks, HIMYM ends. :(

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