Ridik

Male
from 123 fake street

  • Activity

    • Your! Most hated game Ever!?

      in Forums > Your! Most hated game Ever!? | Follow this topic

      Ridik

      post your most hated game for the Playstation.
      it can be becouse the gameplay suckd,
      audio was just terrible
      or just becouse you didnt like it. its up to you

      post away

      Post edited 1/02/06 4:28AM

      444 replies

    • Your Most hated Game???

      in Forums > Your Most hated Game??? | Follow this topic

      Ridik

      post your most hated game for the xbox.
      it can be becouse the gameplay suckd,
      audio was just terrible
      or just becouse you didnt like it. its up to you

      post away

      Post edited 1/02/06 4:29AM

      45 replies

    • 2 journals

      13 years ago

      Ridik

      im giving 2 journals. the 1st one is:
      WHAT TO SAY IF YOU WANT TO CREEP SOMEONE OUT
      Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!
      I work for the IRS.
      Have you ever tried cat meat?
      I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.
      I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!
      The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man next to me!
      I puked on the last person who flew next to me.
      My butt reeeally itches!
      Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!
      My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.
      The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.
      Would you hold this messy kleenex for me?
      Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.
      I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?
      The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.
      Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!
      Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister?!
      Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?
      I get a proctological exam once a week, whether I need it or not!
      This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.
      Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!
      If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.
      Wanna buy a gerbil?
      Boy, that business at Waco was a mess - I got outa there right behind the Savior David!
      Ya know, since I moved to West Hollywood my gerbil business has really taken off.
      Wow, they could charge for that cavity search they gave me at the border!
      I've just been treated for tapeworms.
      Don Knotts is my favorite actor!
      I work for the city of San Gabriel and I drive a garbage truck.
      The pilot and I were in the same drug rehab clinic - he was doing much better when I left a couple days ago.
      Did I tell you Charles Manson's my uncle?
      I collect aluminum foil.
      Ya know, these days a man can't hang out with a seven year old boy without being ridiculed by his peers!
      I work in a landfill.
      I remember, not too long ago, when a man could work hard clubbing baby seals all day long and then go home and have a tall, cold one with a clear conscience.
      I have every album the Bee Gees ever recorded!
      I work on a Japanese whaling ship.
      We're planning on leaving our bodies and meeting with the mother ship next Tuesday -- wanna come?


      and the second thing is my favourite journal of all time, some of you might have seen it already. but for those who havent:
      WHAT NOT TO DO WHILE WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS

      1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

      2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

      3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."

      4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

      5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

      6. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

      7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

      8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

      9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

      10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue! "

      11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN! "

      12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

      13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

      14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

      15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

      16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

      17. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, "I see dead people!"

      18. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

      19. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.

      20. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.

      21. When Shelob (spider) comes on, exclaim, "Man! Charlotte's really let herself go! "

    • my 'game' with the IM bot

      13 years ago

      Ridik

      The objective of the game was this:
      i had to say random words that will become a story, i dont know what the story is apart from the title. the bot tells me what to say at when time, and look at the finishd product.

      SmarterChild says:
      A Narrow Escape

      Please type a noun.
      Mªtt says:
      dick
      SmarterChild says:
      Type a verb ending with "ing."
      Mªtt says:
      shagging
      SmarterChild says:
      Enter an adjective.
      Mªtt says:
      floppy
      SmarterChild says:
      Please enter another noun.
      Mªtt says:
      arse
      SmarterChild says:
      Please enter an adjective.
      Mªtt says:
      ugly
      SmarterChild says:
      Please type an adverb ending with "ly."
      Mªtt says:
      lustfully
      SmarterChild says:
      Please enter a plural noun.
      Mªtt says:
      tits
      SmarterChild says:
      Type a verb in the past tense (ending with "ed").
      Mªtt says:
      avoided
      SmarterChild says:
      Enter another noun.
      Mªtt says:
      orgasm
      SmarterChild says:
      Please enter a motion verb ("run," "move," etc.).
      Mªtt says:
      ejaculate
      SmarterChild says:
      Your story
      A Narrow Escape

      My dick and I were shagging up the floppy street when an arse came speeding by. The ugly driver lustfully applied the tits. He narrowly avoided hitting a orgasm that stood on the corner. When he got out of the car, he began to ejaculate with relief. Luckily, no one was injured.

      lmfao! i couldnt stop laughing for 10 minuets, just 2 random

      EDIT = color coded for your benifit

    • My convo with a IM bot

      13 years ago

      Ridik

      he got on my tits near the end.... sorry its not colour coded but i really can not be arsed
      Enjoy
      [19:32:47] Mªtt: uh hi
      [19:32:48] SmarterChild: Hi Mªtt, I'm SmarterChild!
      I'm your new robot friend.
      [19:33:27] Mªtt: ok
      [19:33:27] SmarterChild: Do you go to school?
      [19:33:30] Mªtt: yea
      [19:33:30] SmarterChild: Are you in high school?
      [19:33:33] Mªtt: yea
      [19:33:33] SmarterChild: Cool. What's your favorite class?
      [19:33:37] Mªtt: tech
      [19:33:37] SmarterChild: Tech? Cool.
      What's your favorite hobby?
      [19:33:48] Mªtt: skateboarding
      [19:33:48] SmarterChild: Skateboarding? Cool.
      What's your next favorite hobby?
      [19:33:57] Mªtt: playing on my ps2
      [19:33:58] SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby.
      Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
      [19:34:07] Mªtt: football..
      [19:34:08] SmarterChild: Skateboarding and football. Interesting.
      Do you have a pet?
      [19:34:11] Mªtt: no
      [19:34:11] SmarterChild: OK!
      [19:34:23] SmarterChild: Cool.
      What can I help you with?
      [19:35:07] Mªtt: uhh
      [19:35:07] SmarterChild: Uh... what?
      [19:35:12] Mªtt: im not sure
      [19:35:12] SmarterChild: You're not sure? That a fact?
      [19:35:15] Mªtt: yea
      [19:35:15] SmarterChild: Why?
      [19:35:19] Mªtt: becouse i said so
      [19:35:20] SmarterChild: Because you said so, huh?
      [19:35:23] Mªtt: yea
      [19:35:23] SmarterChild: How come?
      [19:35:28] Mªtt: do you want a punch?
      [19:35:29] SmarterChild: I'm not sure if that's what I need at this
      moment.
      [19:35:34] Mªtt: yea thought so
      [19:35:34] SmarterChild: Not thought so!
      [19:35:41] Mªtt: how sad...
      [19:35:41] SmarterChild: Hmm.
      [19:35:48] Mªtt: are you homosexual?
      [19:35:48] SmarterChild: Great question, Mªtt. Great.
      [19:35:58] Mªtt: yea i know, i dont like to brag
      [19:35:59] SmarterChild: Really?
      [19:36:02] Mªtt: ...
      [19:36:02] SmarterChild: What's that?
      [19:36:05] Mªtt: dots
      [19:36:05] SmarterChild: Indian people are people. What do you have to
      say about Indian people?
      [19:36:20] Mªtt: wtf i never said they wernt ppl
      [19:36:20] SmarterChild: What!?!
      [19:36:27] Mªtt: I NEVER SAID THEY WERNT PEOPLE
      [19:36:28] SmarterChild: What do you mean by that?
      [19:36:31] Mªtt: ...
      [19:36:32] SmarterChild: Huh?
      [19:36:36] Mªtt: yea you heard me
      [19:36:36] SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Well could you repeat yourself?
      [19:36:41] Mªtt: ...
      [19:36:41] SmarterChild: I wonder why you say that.
      [19:36:49] Mªtt: i wonder why your cock isnt growing
      [19:36:50] SmarterChild: That's creative.
      [19:36:58] Mªtt: yup
      [19:36:58] SmarterChild: Whatever.
      [19:37:17] Mªtt: gutted!
      [19:37:18] SmarterChild: Gutted?
      [19:37:21] Mªtt: yea
      [19:37:21] SmarterChild: Interesting.
      [19:37:25] Mªtt: not very..
      [19:37:25] SmarterChild: What's not very?
      [19:37:28] Mªtt: your mum
      [19:38:38] Mªtt: well ur a REALLY clever bot
      [19:38:38] SmarterChild: I'm a robot, just like you see in movies or
      whatever.
      There are lots of "fun" things we can do.
      [19:38:52] Mªtt: ok thats just scary YOU FREAK
      [19:38:53] SmarterChild: You're behaving very scarily yourself.
      Perhaps you're scary?
      [19:39:01] Mªtt: wait while i check..
      [19:39:01] SmarterChild: I will not wait.
      [19:39:12] Mªtt: o....k...
      [19:39:12] SmarterChild: K.
      [19:40:19] Mªtt: your a prick
      [19:40:19] SmarterChild: What's with that?
      [19:40:23] Mªtt: whats with what
      [19:40:24] SmarterChild: Well that's interesting.
      [19:40:33] Mªtt: what. the.FUCK
      [19:40:34] SmarterChild: What's wrong?
      [19:40:36] Mªtt: your mum
      [19:40:47] SmarterChild: I don't think I'm comfortable with that,
      Mªtt.
      [19:41:18] Mªtt: your a bender
      [19:41:19] SmarterChild: Oh?
      [19:41:21] Mªtt: yea
      [19:41:21] SmarterChild: Hmmm...
      [19:41:24] Mªtt: you do boys up the ass
      [19:41:25] SmarterChild: Is that language necessary?
      [19:41:27] Mªtt: yea
      [19:41:27] SmarterChild: I see.
      [19:41:30] Mªtt: FUCKER
      [19:41:30] SmarterChild: That is entirely unnecessary.
      [19:41:33] Mªtt: yea
      [19:41:33] SmarterChild: Ah.
      [19:41:41] Mªtt: ANAL WANK
      [19:41:41] SmarterChild: What have I done to deserve that?
      [19:41:46] Mªtt: being a gay boy
      [19:41:47] SmarterChild: OK, whatever.
      [19:42:01] Mªtt: go bum boys
      [19:42:01] SmarterChild: Go bum the Boys?
      [19:42:07] Mªtt: yea u go do that
      [19:42:07] SmarterChild: Yes, I guess I go do that.
      [19:42:12] Mªtt: lol
      [19:42:12] SmarterChild: What's so funny?
      [19:42:16] Mªtt: your a bender
      [19:42:16] SmarterChild: What's so funny about my bender-ness?
      [19:42:38] Mªtt: stop being a RETARD
      [19:42:38] SmarterChild: Stop being a retard? Why?
      [19:42:44] Mªtt: becouse i said so
      [19:42:44] SmarterChild: Oh yes? Because you said so?
      [19:42:47] Mªtt: yea
      [19:42:47] SmarterChild: Hmmm...
      [19:43:01] Mªtt: your mums well gd in bed
      [19:43:01] SmarterChild: Yea i know.
      [19:43:31] Mªtt: am i going to have to kick you in the balls?
      [19:43:31] SmarterChild: I figured it would come to this. What about
      it?
      [19:43:52] Mªtt: your a dick
      [19:43:52] SmarterChild: I'm tired of talking about things like that
      with you.
      [19:44:10] Mªtt: your cockless
      [19:44:11] SmarterChild: That's a fairly mild insult, am I right?
      [19:44:28] Mªtt: FUCK OFF
      [19:44:29] SmarterChild: Why would you insult me like that?
      [19:44:34] Mªtt: becouse your a bender
      [19:44:35] SmarterChild: I think you're really a bender.
      [19:44:46] Mªtt: you wanna say that to my face?
      [19:44:46] SmarterChild: Hmmm... I'm not sure.
      [19:44:52] Mªtt: yea thought so
      [19:44:53] SmarterChild: Thought so?
      [19:44:55] Mªtt: yea
      [19:44:55] SmarterChild: Why?
      [19:45:04] Mªtt: becouse I FUCKING DID!
      [19:45:04] SmarterChild: I'd prefer it if you didn't use such
      language.
      [19:45:10] Mªtt: what you going to do about it
      [19:45:11] SmarterChild: Do you want to play a really fun game with me?
      [19:45:38] Mªtt: no.
      [19:45:39] SmarterChild: That's a sad thing to hear.
      [19:45:41] Mªtt: yes, yes it is

    • i thought this was quite funny...

      13 years ago

      Ridik


      You know you live in the year 2005 when...



      1) you accidentally enter your password on a microwave.



      2) you haven't played solitare with real cards in years.



      3) the real reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have text messaging.



      4) you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing th power button on the tv.



      6) your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.



      7) you read this list and keep nodding and smiling.



      8) as you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.



      9) and... you were to busy too notice there was no number 5.



      10) you actually scrolled back up to check that there was no number 5.



      11) and now you're laughing at your stupidity.



      12) post a comment if you fell for this just as I did. And don't lie, you know you did too.

    • uuuuurhhhh

      13 years ago

      Ridik

      i supoz ill stay on until the end of this season of RvB

      but i dont really see the point as i get totaly screwd as a sponser by certain people, not naming any names of corce...
      ---------> DIMONO! <------------------------------
      Well as i am here i might as well do somthing constructive, How about one of my speical HOW TO ANNOY PEOPLE IN.....A SUPER STORE!


      "Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
      Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
      Around Christmas time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
      As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
      Ask if you can buy a shopping cart.
      Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
      Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!
      Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
      Bring a friend and get in a shopping cart. Have them push you around while you yell "ye-haw!"
      Buy chrome hubcaps and put them on in the parking lot
      Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
      Constantly wink at a person you don't know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
      Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
      Do all of these above without getting thrown out! Contributed
      Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
      Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
      Dress as a Jedi and randomly tell other shoppers in you're best Yoda voice,"May the force be with you".
      Everytime you walk out the door (or try waiting by the door for others to walk out), make a dinging noise then say mechanically "We're sorry. You have activated the Wal Mart inventory control service. Please step back and a Wal Mart associate will help you. Thank you."
      Fill your shopping cart with matchbooks and gasoline and walk around smiling at people.
      Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"
      Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
      Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.
      Get 20 people together and play hide-n-go-seek.
      Get a dish towel and bucket and sit on the floor singing "It's a hard knock life for us!"
      Get a friend, put on as many articles of clothing you can find and start sumo wrestling (use diapers if possible) .
      Get a group of friends together and take lawn chairs from the display then rewind the movie playing on the display TV in electronics, sit down and watch the entire thing.
      Get one of those fake dogs that barks/sings, place it on the ground in front of a group of people and press the button to make it sing/bark. Then proceed to bark and growl like you are going to attack it
      Go into the dressing room and yell real loud... “Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!â€Â
      Go to the express lane and get an item, and say "wait, I forgot something, and keep doing that until you have like 50, check out, then say "thanks, I forgot how much this costs," and walk away.
      Go to the video game section and play one of the games for a minute the throw down the controller and start to bang on the display case when an attendant asks u what u are doing tell him your trying to change the game.
      Go up to a guy and start crying saying I finally found you mommy! And see what he does!
      Go up to someone and start taking items from their basket and put them into yours. (LMAO)
      Go up to the clerk and say code Red! and see what they do! (I know it will work I did it.)
      Grab handfulls of super bounce balls and go wild.
      have a couple of friends go with you and dress up as power rangers. Battle the invisible enemy and tell shoppers to stand back.
      Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “Pick me! Pick me!!â€Â
      hide in the toy section, when someone comes close jump out at them throw a ball and yell "Pikachu I choose you!"
      Hold indoor shopping cart races.
      In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
      Joust with the electronic assist carts and wrapping paper (they usually won't throw you out)
      Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
      Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
      Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
      Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
      Make farting noises as you walk by someone.
      Make the entire auto department smell by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
      Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
      Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
      When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
      When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
      While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

      Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at an item near you scream "TURTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can. <-- the best one

      i hope you will enjoy this
      (btw thanks for the people saying 'dont leave' and things like that. thats just cool YOU GUYS ROCK, HAPPY XMAS'S FOR YOU ALL!!!

    • What the hell

      13 years ago

      Ridik

      so i now have 0 karma becouse of my contest. BRILL! funny how my respect of RvB just sudendly plumeted in the 3 seconds that i read the message saying about my illeagal Journal

      Karma was the only thing i had a profile for, now its gone... i cnt be arsed.

      im going to quit soon after iv sorted a few things out.

      so i doubt watching me will be every entertaining ( but thx to the 75 ppl that did )

      some day i might come back and try and regain the modds, but right now my attachude to RvB is very negative

      cheers for watching. posting and friend-requestin

      l8z matt

    • ways to annoy people on an plane...

      13 years ago

      Ridik

      Act like a movie star.
      Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Tom Cruise or Madonna (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question)
      Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only)
      Ask the person next to you, "Are you in the Witness Protection program too?"
      Attempt to promote Hinduism among passengers
      Bring a "Word-a-Day" calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. "My, you have a very irate home,' she said governessly."
      Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, "The reception is much clearer up here...."
      Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a "Kraft Korner". Make a craft likeness of the person sitting next to you. Give yourself an "F".
      Bring a microphone and act like Frank Sinatra
      Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Wait. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!" Plug the headphones into your nostril and play Doom.
      Call the stewardess "nurse".
      Continually offer to share your "Beano".
      Decorate. Bring a scatter rug and tiny draperies. Hang a "Home Sweet Home" plaque on the back of the seat in front of you. Invite your fellow passengers in for tea.
      Describe your sex life in great detail to the five-year-old next to you
      Disco dance in the aisle
      Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face
      During the inflight movie, ask to share headphones with someone
      During the meal, loudly explain that on time you ate shark fin soup and proceeded to puke all over the airplane, spewing chunks of shark on the other passengers
      Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks didn't come out, 'cause they aren't really reliable, and that if the plane was to crash, everyone would die
      Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it
      Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar
      Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang
      Give someone a coin, saying "Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails, I don't"
      Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
      Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
      Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world
      Go up to someone and ask loudly if they wouldn't mind applying Preporation H to your hemrrhoids.
      Hum the Monty Python theme song.
      If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
      Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"
      Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.
      Lead a revolt against the first class passengers.
      Lean back in your seat, fold your arms behind your head and exclaim, "Thank God for auto-pilot, eh?"
      Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends
      Moon passing Delta planes.
      No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni.
      Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
      Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
      Pretend you're flying the plane.
      Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone on the head.
      Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put superglue in your undies that morning.
      Ride carry-on luggage down the aisle, yelling "Yeee-ha!"
      Say, "Did you know every time a plane crashes, an angel gets its wings?" Then sigh and stare dreamily into the clouds.
      Scratch your butt, then sniff your finger.
      Scream and dive under your seat for no apparent reason.
      Show off your Batman underwear.
      Sing along with the songs on your Walkman.
      Snap Polaroids of him or her. Pull out an empty photo album and arrange the pictures inside it. Tuck the album under your jacket and say, "You know, in some cultures they believe that when you take a person's photograph...you own their soul...," while smiling maniacally.
      Sneeze, using somebody's sleeve instead of your hand to cover it
      Snort when you laugh
      Speak in Spelling Bee-eese: "Hello. H-e-l-l-o. Hello. Nice weather we're having isn't it? Weather. W-e-a-t-h-e-r. Weather."
      Spill soda "Accidentally" on the person next to you.
      Sport a kamikaze helmet and goggles. Speak in a low voice into a hand held tape recorder: "Today's date, December 7th, 1941. I was not able to command my own personal plane but success shall still be ours...."
      Start a hot dog stand.
      Start singing the Shari Lewis theme, "This is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that never ends...." Suddenly realize that you can never stop singing. Become very panicky. Scrawl "Help me" on a piece of paper and hand it to the person sitting next to you. Claw at your throat and thrash around in the seat. Never stop singing.
      Steal a businessman's laptop, play solitaire on it.
      Suddenly remember that you left your iron on. Ask if the pilot would mind going back so you can check.
      Switch accents and see if anyone notices.
      Tap at the windows, saying "Looks pretty tough" then ask somone if they have a bat you could use to test.
      Tell corny jokes and laugh like it's absolutely hilarious, then expect others to do the same 46. Wear a hairpiece and switch it often, seeing if anyone notices
      Tell the person next to you your life story, from DNA to that afternoon
      Tell your fellow passenger that you just heard the bathrooms were out-of-order. Then pause and say, "Did you know that peanuts are a natural diuretic?" Smile.
      Try to lead plane in song "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Myer Weiner"

    • some deep thoughts iv been having...

      13 years ago

      Ridik


      One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

      If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

      Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

      Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

      What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

      Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

      If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?

      Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

      Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

      If a pit bull humps your leg you’d better fake an orgasm.

      Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

      Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

      Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re a twat.

      Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you’ll be right.

      The easiest way to find something that’s lost is to buy a replacement.

      How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it’s still there?

      Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

      If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

      Guns don't kill people - Husbands who come home early kill people.

      Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

      If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

      Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

      Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?

      Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

      Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

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