o.k here it goes: every 20! posts in this journal the person gets 4 mod points.
so on the 20th post 40th, 60th, 80th post after 80 ill stop. we all kool? good
13 years agoRidik
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you will understand ones you traslate it. its in 1337.
13 years agoRidik
A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to burn some rubber.
When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?"
His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d ever lied to my girlfriend."
Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall...
"Hi there, how is it going?"
Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I say:
Then the voice says:
"So, what are you doing?"
I am starting to find that a bit weird, but I say:
"Well, I'm going back to Colorado..."
Then I hear the person say all flustered:
"Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."
14 years agoRidik
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football
6. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to monitor your friendsÃ¢â‚¬â„¢sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give you crap if youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutters donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channels, you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t attack you.
16. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why 'Stripes' is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humour in 'Terms of Endearment'.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to shave below the neck.
36. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to curl up to a hairy ass every night.
37. If you are 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original colour.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other peopleÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell the truth.
58. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t give a ratÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking 'he must be mad at me'.
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one is just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work, more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100.
73. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t care if someone is talking behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot you could double the earthÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s population in 75 tries, at least in theory.
75. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t mooch off othersÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ desserts.
76. If you retain water, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you are talking to them.
79. ESPNÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s sports centre.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You neednÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t pretend youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re 'freshening up' to go to the bathroom.
85. If you donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t call your buddy when you say you will, he wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t tell your friends youÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve changed.
86. Someday you will be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase 'Fuck it'.
88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess DiÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you are not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
96. You donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t have to remember everyoneÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with 'So Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ notice anything different?'
100. There is always a game on somewhere.
14 years agoRidik
iv bin makin a few logos here are some samples
yea they crap but hey.
a big thx to OrangeMonkey 4 helping me start.
and if anybody wants any logos just message at me with the text and colours u want. i might not be able to make it exacty to ur taste. nbut hey
also look at my previouse jornal for the best convo ever
14 years agoRidik
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
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