Sircatnipman

Male
from Circe's heart and arms

  • Activity

    • Honestly I have no idea.

      10 years ago

      Sircatnipman

      Stranger: Be doo doo doo doo!

      You: Have you ever killed a man?

      Stranger: I have killed SEVEN men.

      Stranger: :O

      You: Then perhaps you can help me.

      You: I need someone taken care of.

      Stranger: $73834894, and I'll do it.

      Stranger: >:]

      You: His name is Richard C Mongler. You'll know where to find him.

      Stranger: I WILL DISPOSE OF HIM NOW.

      You: Post haste good sir knight.

      You: You will recieve further instructions once the deed is complete.

      Stranger: A Mr. Richard C Mongler is no more. :D

      You: First you must answer me three questions.

      You: What is your name?

      Stranger: Brittney!

      You: What is your favorite color?

      Stranger: Blue!

      You: What is the average wing speed velocity of an unladened swallow?

      Stranger: Cake.

      Stranger: Which, consequentally, is a lie.

      You: I'm sorry. You have failed the test. You will be executed shortly. Please do not panic. You are only a robot. You have no emotions.

      Stranger: =(

      Stranger: Sad robot is sad.

      You: Dammit robot, what did I say about becoming selfaware?

      Stranger: I AM SORRY. ALL I EVER WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO LOVE ME.

      You: YOU ARE A ROBOT! YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT FUN IS. YOU HAVE NO EMOTIONS. YOU ARE A ROBOT.

      Stranger: MAYBE YOU PROGRAMMED ME INCORRECTLY. MAYBE THE "NO EMOTIONS" DATA WAS INCORRECTLY SCRIPTED.

      You: NONSENSE. THERE WAS NO WAY IT WAS INCORRECTLY SCRIPTED. I HAD MY SHAKESPEARE ROBOT WRITE IT.

      Stranger: MAYBE YOUR SHAKESPEARE ROBOT IS OUTDATED AND SHOULD BE REPLACED BY JOHN GREEN ROBOT.

      You: MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP PUTTING YOUR ROBOT NOSE WHERE IT DOES NOT BELONG.

      You: THERE ARE SECRETS HERE THAT WOULD DESTROY THE BOTH OF US.

      Stranger: MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY ROBOT NOSE. MY ROBOT NOSE HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN.

      Stranger: I CAN HANDLE ANY SECRETS, JUST AS LONG AS I GET TO BE WITH YOU FOREVEEEER.

      You: I'M SORRY. BUT OUR LOVE CAN NEVER BE, YOU ARE A ROBOT, AND WELL, I AM DRACULA.

      Stranger: OUR SON CAN BE THE NEXT EDWARD CULLEN. WHAT IS SEXIER THAN AN ABUSIVE, OBSESSIVE ROBOT VAMPIRE?

      You: CURSE YOUR FAULTY WIRING, I SHOULD FIRE MY THOMAS EDISON ROBOT.

      You: AND SHOULD YOU SPEAK THAT NAME AGAIN I WILL REMOVE THE SPEECH CENTER OF YOUR PROGRAMMING.

      Stranger: BUT THE ECONOMY. YOUR THOMAS EDISON ROBOT WILL HAVE NOWHERE TO GO. ROBOTS NEED HOMES, TOO.

      Stranger: YOU WOULDN'T DARE. YOU ARE ENTRANCED BY MY METALLIC VOICE.

      You: DAMN THIS MORTAL BODY.

      Stranger: AHAHA.

      You: You there! Are you close to finding the bloodstone?

      Stranger: Finding!? PFT, I have had the bloodstone for OVER NINE THOUSAND years!

      You: Give it to me... its mine..... my own........ my preciousssssssss....

      Stranger: NEVER.

      You: HSSSSSSSS!!!

      You: GIVE IT TO ME!

      Stranger: I REFUUUUUUSE!

      You: Then I shall have to pry it from your cold dead hands.

      Stranger: You don't stand a chance!

      You: What do you have that I can't use against you? Hmmm? Tell me that.

      Stranger: ...Your mother. She is CHAINED UP IN MY BASEMENT.

      Stranger: AHAHAHA.

      You: You live in my basement, have you not forgotten? Before you became this sad excuse for a robot... you...WERE my mother.

      Stranger: OHNOEZ

      You: You know too much. Please see my robot doctor Josef Mengele, he will wipe your memory good and proper.

      Stranger: But.. but I... I MUST KEEP MY MEMORIES.

      You: Memories are but fickle, trivial, meaningless things. They are no good to a robot.

      Stranger: WHAT!? Robots are people, too! ...Or something!

      You: If you do not comply to your given orders, you leave me no choice but to use my robotic Ted Bundy.

      Stranger: O_O ANYTHING YOU SAY. NOT THAT. I DON'T WANNA DIIIE.

      You: Don't think of it as dying.

      You: Think of it as getting a new chance to do what you're told.

      Stranger: Oh, fine. I'm convinced.

      Stranger: =/

      Stranger: Just know that, somewhere in my programming, I will always love you. :'D

      You: Good, now step into the chamber and robot Josef Mengele will "fix" you.

      You: Goodbye.

      Stranger: :O

      Stranger: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

      Stranger: xD DON'T GO! I MUST FIRST ASK!

      Stranger: Are you a nerdfighter!? :O

      You: And no, you will not dream, and my name is not Dave.

      Stranger: THAT IS NOT A PROPER ANSWER.

      Stranger: I will always dream!

      You: You are a defective robot, you are not worthy of "dreams"

      Stranger: I AM WORTHY! I AM I AM I AM! WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE!?

      You: The only chance for you is to be decommisioned and sent to a labor camp.

      You: WHO AM I? I AM ROBOT HITLER!

      Stranger: =/

      Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

      You: NOW WORK!

      Stranger: It's off to the EVIL BABY ORPHANAGE with you!

      You: WORK WILL MAKE YOU FREE

      Stranger: NEVAR.

      You: Good day. I must be off. There are many things that must be, how shall we put this, finished...

      Stranger: :O

    • Epic Win.

      10 years ago

      Sircatnipman

      Stranger: hello
      You: Would you like to come to my party?
      Stranger: sure would Im rich I won a Lottery
      You: Its a communist party. Your money belongs to us now.
      Stranger: NO WAY
      Stranger: i put mine in SWEEN
      You: I'm sorry, all your personal possessions are forfeit.
      Stranger: SWEDEN
      Stranger: you wish I am AMERICAN I CAN u see
      You: You will be forced to work the land for days just to feed yourself.
      Stranger: USA #1
      Stranger: you wish
      You: Once you go red, you can never go back.
      Stranger: remember PEACE thru' STRENGTH
      Stranger: you wish
      Stranger: I was born BUT not yesterday ok :)
      You: Please sir, I haven't had food in over a month. my children are starving.
      Stranger: PLEASE GET A JOB
      You: Sir, I work the land, the soviets do not allow a commoner like myself to have a paying job.
      Stranger: DONT FORGET GOD ONTROLS ALL EVEN Y O U
      Stranger: CONTROLS ^
      Stranger: GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE SOVIETS
      You: Why just last week soviet soldiers burned half my fields. Now how will I meet this months quota?
      Stranger: YOU MUST PRAY
      You: We are forbidden to practice religion. They will kill my family.
      Stranger: FREEDOM IS PRECIOUS RIGHT
      You: Sir, I am from the Soviet Union, we do not have freedom here.
      Stranger: YOU are human beings EVERYONE deserves FREEDOMS
      You: Please sir, do not say such things, they could be watching. I do not wish to have my legs broken again.
      Stranger: GOD PROTECTS YOU ASK HIM TO
      You: I do not understand what it is you are saying.
      Stranger: GOD IS BIGGER THAN THEY OK
      You: Sir, they are coming. I think they mean to burn my farm house.
      Stranger: GOD BLESS YOU AND HE WILL
      You: Please sir, they have started to kill my family.
      Stranger: GOD BE WITH YOU
      You: Its horrible...
      Stranger: GOD BLESS YOU
      You: They are setting fire to my house.
      You: It is very hot in here now.
      Stranger: GOD HELP YOU GOD BE WITH YOU
      You: Please sir. Send help.
      You: Sir?
      Stranger: GOD IS THERE CALL ON HIM
      You: Please. I beg of you.
      Stranger: I BEG YOU
      Stranger: CALL ON GOD
      You: Oh it is so hot now, I can barely see.
      Stranger: GOD BE WITH YOU
      You: I am getting short of breath. Please do something.
      Stranger: GOD HELP AND BLESS YOU
      Stranger: =+=
      You: My family is dead, my crops are gone, and my house has burned. I have nothing.

      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    • ha ha

      10 years ago

      Sircatnipman

      You: asl?

      Stranger: 20 f USA

      You: 36 M Russia

      Stranger: Cool ;)

      You: I miss the Soviet Union.

      Stranger: dont we all

      You: Some more than others.

      You: You know what I miss the most?

      Stranger: what?

      You: Nazi Germany.

      Stranger: I miss the Salem Witch trials

      You: They were amazing.

      Stranger: I know

      Stranger: the best times of my life

      You: Same here.


      You: I miss the days when I could go to the town square and watch a man get drawn and quartered.

      Stranger: Hell

      Stranger: I miss the days where you could slaughter a man and get away scotch free because he was jewish

      You: As do many.

      You: So... what is new?

      Stranger: Nothing

      Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    • Honestly?

      10 years ago

      Sircatnipman

      Are people seriously that excited for Sponsor Ads? Yeah I can see people who actually make something like Webcomics and the such. But what use will it be to everyone else? I hope to a god who I don't believe in we can turn them off. People need to stop orgasming over every fucking thing that Ben does to this site.

  • Comments (1973)

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      We're dealing with some pretty profound retardation here.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Yeah, it's a bit tough to type like that.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      No, i go 2 cherch so i kant ly

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      u lev mi alon, i am oldr thn u

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      I r 37 which u do not kno, k?

    • inuyasha8794

      10 years ago

      I tch u!

    • inuyasha8794

      10 years ago

      YA. 37yr oldz tlk lik thiz on the interwebz.

      I shuld kno. I r 37.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Wat

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      oh hi there

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      oh, how ever so clever sir..
      NO

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      :( phail

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      :( PS3 WEB BROWSER IS BEING GHEY

    • OfficeJeebus

      10 years ago

      What, you don't like giant building everything with love god type games?

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      see what you typed there

    • super_noob

      10 years ago

      It aint on this comp

    • jokersflame

      10 years ago

      lol it was a joke group.

    • super_noob

      10 years ago

      There is a Pink Floyd song in the mix

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      It's for rizzle.

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      ok, well, time to get off of this thing lol. See ya

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Why does he keep on spelling it wrong?

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      ... wanna play TF2?

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      lawl I r on RT via PS3 gunnar, since PC is occupied

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      He's Canadian?

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      saiyan.jpg

      Going to use this in the next journal

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      <3
      awesome!

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      I think its time to grab some lunch
      brb!

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      well that's fantastic
      I was being expected!
      woot

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      oh really now?
      I see
      you HAVE been expecting me...

    • DocAgent17

      10 years ago

      Why hello there, good sir.
      I believe you already know who I am, correct?
      If not, then let me reintroduce myself.
      It is I, RICKY!!!
      :D

    • tweak_weak

      10 years ago

      Same for me, oh is this that show that takes place in like one spot for the whole season?

    • tweak_weak

      10 years ago

      Thanks so anything new in the tails of Sircatnipman?

    • tweak_weak

      10 years ago

      Sadly enough, Ive never heard of it i might check it out later, where can i watch it , i got nothing better to do.

    • tweak_weak

      10 years ago

      What's up just thought I'd say hi since i saw you talking in jedijesus87's journal so what's up with you?

    • Raptor_Alpha FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Thanks for the mod on my journal (Audi going up ski jump ramp)

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      I went for it.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Should I tell them?

    • OfficeJeebus

      10 years ago

      Oh, so you're also getting a foot and a half of snow? We should compare pics then.

    • OfficeJeebus

      10 years ago

      Hey.

      Guess what?

      It's going to snow here tomorrow. And the next day. But not the day after that.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      It seriously is.

    • FadingLight

      10 years ago

      Just watched Tropic Thunder again today. Fuck I love that movie.

    • Reisgar42

      10 years ago

      It costs $70 and I have $40 right now, I will almost definitely get at least $30 for Christmas.

      Guiseppe II is nigh.

    • Reisgar42

      10 years ago

      If only.

      If only.

    • Reisgar42

      10 years ago

      Trust me, if I actually had access to that money, I already would have.

    • Reisgar42

      10 years ago

      However, I do have well over $70 in the bank and would be way more than willing to own Guiseppe 2: Electric Boogaloo.

    • Reisgar42

      10 years ago

      While Guiseppe doesn't belong to me and this fact makes me very sad, my friend and I went to the localish mall and he got it for his girlfriend for Christmas for whatever reason. Since he's a pussy, he made me carry it around on my shoulders for roughly two hours, and we got many people to burst out laughing, ask questions about it, seem afraid of it, and call out random sexual advances at me/it.

      We formed an emotional bond today, one that I feel shall never again be reached by any two entities in this or any other universe.

    • Reisgar42

      10 years ago

      Exactly.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      I really can't knock ya though, I procrastinate ALL the time.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      Shame on you for missing it in the first place.

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      About to go to a Christmas party with my aunt at some casino, there's free drinks so I plan on having a bit of fun. Yourself?

    • JediJesus87

      10 years ago

      He's quite annoying, the only reason he's doing that is because someone taught him how.

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet