Skeaser

Male
from Baghdad...Yes, I do mean the one in Iraq

  • Activity

    • I'm back

      11 years ago

      Skeaser

      Hadn't visited for a while, then I hear that Red vs. Blue returned! So, I threw that sponsor $ back out and downloaded the high res ones!

    • Home at Last

      13 years ago

      Skeaser

      Hey all, I know some people have been worried. I am alive and well. Got home to Okinawa with the wife and kids, all is well now. Computer is kind of crap so hard to access, new Dell on the way though. Take care and I hope to talk to all of you soon. Thank you for all the support.

    • A line from Bob Hope

      14 years ago

      Skeaser

      "The problem with zombies is that they have no will of their own. They wander the night, mindless, never knowing or caring where they are going or what they are doing."


      "You mean like Democrats?"


      from the 1940 movie "The Ghost Breakers" starring Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard

    • Ultimate Machine...Advice

      in Forums > Ultimate Machine...Advice | Follow this topic

      Skeaser

      Ok, I just searched and didn't see anything to this effect. Please let me know if this exists.

      Anyway, I want to build an awesome machine when I get home for about $2k-$3k and I was wondering if anyone had any advice of what would give me the most bang for my buck. I alerady know all about newegg and pricewatch and all those sites, I've just been out of the tech loop for a while and don't know what all of the new hotness is. Anyway post some of the nicest hardware (that normal people can afford) that you would put into a machine.

      105 replies

    • From Bungie.net

      14 years ago

      Skeaser

      Recent events in his video game behavior sent Smith reeling into a bout with self-discovery. In an effort to build his laughable social skills, Smith reported to football coach, Wes Leary, of the East Lexington High Knights.

      “Let me just say that at 5 feet 7 inches and 115 pounds, Timmy ain’t the most intimidating being you ever met,†Leary said in a recent interview. “And when he talks, I thought I was talking to a girl that wanted to play ball. Not the most manly voice. Ah, who am I kiddin’, he was downright feminine. But the boy could talk some smack. Hell, it was worth having him on the team just to teach the other guys what a sailor sounded like. He had a worse mouth than any jockey I ever met. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t think of Alvin the chipmunk every time he opened his mouth.â€Â

      Smith’s two-day career on the spring training football squad was both colorful and painful. He tried out for several positions, the first of which was wide receiver.

      Leary explained, “No matter what play Everrett called (he’s our offensive coordinator, ya understand), you could hear Timmy: ‘I call the ball! Give that (fecal matter) to me, son, and I’ll show you what a man can do with it.’ Whenever we didn’t opt to pass to Timmy, he’d come back grumbling about how he had ‘pwndizzled’ the defense, and he’d of had a touch down. He called the quarterback a ‘(slang for female dog)’, and even called Everrett a ‘newb’. He got to do a few extra up-downs after that particular practice.â€Â

      Frustrated, Smith begged the coaches to put him on defense. He told them that he knew he’d be the best linebacker that they had ever seen. Knowing otherwise, the coaches decided to just shut him up by giving him a shot at the position.

      “It was the funniest thing I ever saw,†Leary said chuckling. “He thought he was so tough. I’ll never forget the image of Timmy laying in a trash-talking crumpled heap after Jamison Bertring (the Knights All-State starting running back) just ran him over. He was yellin’ at us between sobs. ‘You (slang for intercourse) cheaters! You ain’t nothing without your damn linemen. If my defensive line wasn’t a bunch of (buttocks)-licking circle-(slang for masterbation), I’d have beat your pansy (buttocks) down and put you in your place. Just like I did with your mom last night.’ But you gotta give him some credit. (Buttocks)-licking circle-(slang for masterbation)? That’s priceless.â€Â

      Smith’s expulsion from the school and the team was a result of what is now known as the “locker room incident.â€Â

      “Practice was over, and everyone was cleaning up to go home. Timmy got some wacky idea from somewhere. Must have had something to do with those video games I read about before he joined the team. He was getting ready for the shower, when he saw some guys sitting around, talking about the practice. Next thing you know, Timmy’s naked and running around, smacking these guys in the forehead with his (slang for testicles). ‘Sacktacular!’ he yelled. All the guys just sat there in shock, and so did I. ‘Sack Frenzy! Sacktrocity! Sackamonjaro! Ya like a little (racial slur referring to white people) with your tea, (slang for female dogs)?’ The guys started to move. I tried to get out there, but I wasn’t fast enough. Don’t move as fast as I used to, and those kids are all faster than I am. Poor Timmy didn’t have a chance. That crazy bastard.â€Â

      After a necessary stay in the local hospital, Smith checked himself into Sunnyside Acres, with the blessing of his parents.

      “We can only hope that time will heal his mind and mend the broken bones,†Linda Smith, Timmy’s mother, said. “I still blame those damn games. Gary and I are excellent parents, so it has to be those games that did this to my little angel. And don’t even get us started on those football players.â€Â

    • Almost done...

      14 years ago

      Skeaser

      Hey all, only 2 more weeks left here. It feels so great and so weird. I don't really have much to say about it, it's just akward. I don't know. Hopefully I'll be home soon with the wife and kids. Take care.

    • Black Hawk Down

      in Forums > Black Hawk Down | Follow this topic

      Skeaser

      I just searched the forum and couldn't find a post on this, which I found surprising. In my personal opinion Black Hawk Down is one of the greatest films ever made. I could be slightly biased as I am in the Air Force, however this movie is so very realistic. The way all the soldiers act before they go out on the mission is how we act. The things they say, the things they do is 100% dead on. The battles are exactly how it would go. What do you think of this movie? I personally love the line at the end "It's about the guy next to you." If you haven't seen this movie I suggest you do! Please, share your opinions on this movie with me here!

      74 replies

    • Wal-Mart Shopping

      14 years ago

      Skeaser

      Two old retired guys are pushing their half filled shopping carts around Wal*Mart, when they collide with each other.
      The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little tired and desperate."
      The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"
      The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with flaming red hair, bright green eyes, long legs, big busted, and she is wearing tight short shorts, a little halter top and spike heels."
      "What does your wife look like?"
      To which the first old guy says, " It doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

    • Have A Good Day

      14 years ago

      Skeaser

      A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
      She immediately moved to another seat.
      This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
      When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
      The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
      She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming!" and I grinned.
      Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
      Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
      BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
      "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost it."


      I Pity Da Fool

    • 2019 years ago

      Skeaser
  • About Me

  • Comments (17)

    • jaly223

      13 years ago


      8nrlm
      Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year.
      ad6ww

    • jaly223

      13 years ago

      Here is a dancing Spidey for you.

      spiderman116_spideydancing.gif

    • jaly223

      13 years ago

      Is everything ok? We haven't heard from you in a while.

    • diablo2255

      14 years ago

      friendaward2.jpg

    • finckleroyed

      14 years ago

      yo watch out for your self over there

    • birdman14

      14 years ago

      Its cool that your a soldier. I have nothing but respect and admiration for you guys. AMERICA KICKS ASS! Keep bein' cool.

    • finckleroyed

      14 years ago

      Dude you are so cool
      seriously RVB kicks ass and thr Air force kicks ass
      AND
      I like to sleep!!!!

    • doc69 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      14 years ago

      Thank you for serving

    • Governator1

      14 years ago

      SKEASER IS OBVIOUSLY NO GIRLIE MAN. HE WILL PUMP YOU UP.

    • minchkin77

      14 years ago

      kool images/ pics!

    • knuckles

      14 years ago

      I'm sorry that you're stuck in Iraq. I feel so quilty sometimes about being stationed at Kadena AB, knowing that I'll probably never go to Iraq.

    • Skeaser

      14 years ago

      I'm here for the night life...best fireworks show you've ever seen. I'm Air Force, I'm here for rebuilding Iraq (power, water, sewage etc.) and training their Military and Police. The food isn't too bad (if I just keep telling myself that it won't taste so bad).

    • muellertime

      14 years ago

      so why are u in Baghdad?? Im sure its not for the food....

    • NotPollution

      14 years ago

      Fantastic.

    • ez2bromeo

      14 years ago

      ill give you that one its kinda funny

    • ez2bromeo

      14 years ago

      that is so sad you have one friend

    • ez2bromeo

      14 years ago

      dude theirs nothing to mod you have to put something on the site if you want help with your karma

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