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from Appleton, WI

  • Activity

    • 3 years ago

      SpartanIIMC
    • My Journey Through the Concrete Jungle

      in Forums > My Journey Through the Concrete Jungle | Follow this topic

      SpartanIIMC

      My Journey Through the Concrete Jungle
      ----------
      A collection of mostly true and some slightly untrue anecdotes

      By Edward McClean

      Chapter 1 - The Insertion

      Neil likes it fast and stiff. Very late in the morning, east-central time zone. Yesterday,
      his mom offered me a slice of cake, but I rightly refused because I don't like it when Bambi
      gets freaky on me. It's most uncomfortable. I've heard that when she offers you those kind
      of services, you'll never be the same after. That's why I flatly refused to open myself to
      that kind of punishment. I'd rather take a sharp, hot, fire poker and jam it in my eye, twist
      it, withdraw the instrument, rub it against against the ground, and then insert it into my
      mouth and lick it off. However horrible this could be, it is nothing compared to what I had
      to endure a fortnight come yestereve. Having no way to defend myself, I was unawarely jumped
      by two black men and their pet Yorkshire terrier. Soon after, I lost consciousness. I don't
      recall if they just beat me and took my wallet and ruby encrusted pocket watch, or if I was
      sexually boned in the anal passage. Although, due to the presence of horrible pain in my
      asshole, I suspect the latter is a more reasonable assumption. I really don't know if it was
      a hate crime, or merely a random act of violence/sexual desire with an unwilling man. A
      wise man once said that there are only so many times that someone can be caused injury at the
      hands of a minority before they become a white supremest. I however, was raised with a
      highly tolerant mother, and I believe that there is no such thing as prejudice at all, and
      in fact, black people just like to whine and moan and bone me in the ass.

      Chapter 2 - The Squirt of Liberty

      Today, as I leaned back in my favorite easy chair, I began pondering the meaning of male
      nipples. It occurred to me, that the male tit was literally the only part of the human body
      that has absolutely no purpose whatsoever. It is not a mammary gland, believe me, one time in
      college I found myself in the arms of a very aggressive, and very lesbian woman. She
      apparently forgot that I was in fact toting a jingle-jangle, and proceeded to try and milk
      me. To cut to the case, it didn't work and was most painful. At this point she dismounted
      and quickly redressed and ran from the room, cursing her faulty memory, but I digress.As
      far as I'm concerned, I stand undiminishingly correct in my position that male tits have no
      purpose and was probably one of the few occasions where god put down his Guinness and flatly
      said "Shit." At this point in the day, my chair broke in half, and I ended up flat on my
      back. This, apparently, was an invitation for my extremely good looking, and unknown to me
      before this, extremely horny, kitchen maid. Although I'm sure I don't need to stress this
      point, it was a very good day, and I will leave you with this thought of envy, as I plan to
      slip and land on my back in front of her in about thirty seconds.

      Chapter 3 - Learning to Parallel Park

      It is not often that a day goes by, when I don't think about my future prospects. I passed
      my high school exams with about as much ease as a fat Mexican woman passes a kidney stone.
      Despite this though, I was accepted into a fine university. This was the end of my lucky
      streak though. As I'm sure you've read in the previous chapter, I found myself with little
      to no mind about college, but instead was focused on snatching the virginity of as many
      future lesbians as possible, in hopes to turn them straight, and help decrease their growing
      population. I was nearing 200 slugs fired, when I made the mistake of planting the 'seed of
      love' into the deans favorite, and most gorgeous, daughter. Needless to say, I was quickly
      jettisoned from the institution. Having obtained no degree, and being unwilling to work a job
      that involves any physical or mental strain, I have given my life to the art of documenting
      my life and selling it on the internet. Much like the way that Russian babies are sold on
      e-bay. Do not think ill of me for wasting your time, because believe me, you would rather
      read about my life, than have to live my life. All things considered though, some parts of
      my life would be very pleasurable to do over, particularly the years I spent in a Cambodian
      sex camp in West Virginia. But I'm sorry to say, you will have to read a later chapter to
      discover the slimy details of the two month spree.

      1 reply

    • My Journey Through the Concrete Jungle

      in Forums > My Journey Through the Concrete Jungle | Follow this topic

      SpartanIIMC

      My Journey Through the Concrete Jungle
      ----------
      A collection of mostly true and some slightly untrue anecdotes

      By Edward McClean

      Chapter 1 - The Insertion

      Neil likes it fast and stiff. Very late in the morning, east-central time zone. Yesterday,
      his mom offered me a slice of cake, but I rightly refused because I don't like it when Bambi
      gets freaky on me. It's most uncomfortable. I've heard that when she offers you those kind
      of services, you'll never be the same after. That's why I flatly refused to open myself to
      that kind of punishment. I'd rather take a sharp, hot, fire poker and jam it in my eye, twist
      it, withdraw the instrument, rub it against against the ground, and then insert it into my
      mouth and lick it off. However horrible this could be, it is nothing compared to what I had
      to endure a fortnight come yestereve. Having no way to defend myself, I was unawarely jumped
      by two black men and their pet Yorkshire terrier. Soon after, I lost consciousness. I don't
      recall if they just beat me and took my wallet and ruby encrusted pocket watch, or if I was
      sexually boned in the anal passage. Although, due to the presence of horrible pain in my
      asshole, I suspect the latter is a more reasonable assumption. I really don't know if it was
      a hate crime, or merely a random act of violence/sexual desire with an unwilling man. A
      wise man once said that there are only so many times that someone can be caused injury at the
      hands of a minority before they become a white supremest. I however, was raised with a
      highly tolerant mother, and I believe that there is no such thing as prejudice at all, and
      in fact, black people just like to whine and moan and bone me in the ass.

      Chapter 2 - The Squirt of Liberty

      Today, as I leaned back in my favorite easy chair, I began pondering the meaning of male
      nipples. It occurred to me, that the male tit was literally the only part of the human body
      that has absolutely no purpose whatsoever. It is not a mammary gland, believe me, one time in
      college I found myself in the arms of a very aggressive, and very lesbian woman. She
      apparently forgot that I was in fact toting a jingle-jangle, and proceeded to try and milk
      me. To cut to the case, it didn't work and was most painful. At this point she dismounted
      and quickly redressed and ran from the room, cursing her faulty memory, but I digress.As
      far as I'm concerned, I stand undiminishingly correct in my position that male tits have no
      purpose and was probably one of the few occasions where god put down his Guinness and flatly
      said "Shit." At this point in the day, my chair broke in half, and I ended up flat on my
      back. This, apparently, was an invitation for my extremely good looking, and unknown to me
      before this, extremely horny, kitchen maid. Although I'm sure I don't need to stress this
      point, it was a very good day, and I will leave you with this thought of envy, as I plan to
      slip and land on my back in front of her in about thirty seconds.

      Chapter 3 - Learning to Parallel Park

      It is not often that a day goes by, when I don't think about my future prospects. I passed
      my high school exams with about as much ease as a fat Mexican woman passes a kidney stone.
      Despite this though, I was accepted into a fine university. This was the end of my lucky
      streak though. As I'm sure you've read in the previous chapter, I found myself with little
      to no mind about college, but instead was focused on snatching the virginity of as many
      future lesbians as possible, in hopes to turn them straight, and help decrease their growing
      population. I was nearing 200 slugs fired, when I made the mistake of planting the 'seed of
      love' into the deans favorite, and most gorgeous, daughter. Needless to say, I was quickly
      jettisoned from the institution. Having obtained no degree, and being unwilling to work a job
      that involves any physical or mental strain, I have given my life to the art of documenting
      my life and selling it on the internet. Much like the way that Russian babies are sold on
      e-bay. Do not think ill of me for wasting your time, because believe me, you would rather
      read about my life, than have to live my life. All things considered though, some parts of
      my life would be very pleasurable to do over, particularly the years I spent in a Cambodian
      sex camp in West Virginia. But I'm sorry to say, you will have to read a later chapter to
      discover the slimy details of the two month spree.

      1 reply

    • My Nerd Score

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      nq.php?val=9531 I am nerdier than 10% of all people. 90% of all peopole are nerdier than me. Are you nerdier? Click the picture to find out!

    • Back in Black

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      Well more like online actually. I got a new live account after having to get rid of my old one cause the subscription ran out and I didn't want to renew it, seeing as how it would've gone unsused. My brother was leaving for college and taking the Xbox with him, thus no reason for me having an account that I couldn't use. Anyway he's back till August, thus I have an Xbox to play, and I shall have an account, and a reason for it. Of course by the time he leaves again, I'll have a 360 so then I can just have one forever. Yay! So yea, Puffy J replaces Spartan II MC (unfortunately). Play on!

    • Happy Birthday Dad!

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      Happy birthday you old fart. 52 years ago your mother violently squeezed you out of her womb. I guess that makes you eight years closer to those senior citizens discounts.You're the oldest person I know of you generation. All my other friends parents are in their late 30's to early forties. Heck, one of my bests friends grampa's is younger than you I think. Anyway have a good one, and try and go for another 52 (that's 104 years in case the alzheimer's is working it's way in already).

    • Happy Christmachanukwanzica

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      Happy holidays in other words, Merry Christmas. And Starting tomorrow, Happy Chanukah/Hannukah/Hanukah (however you spell it, sorry if I'm wrong), and Happy Kwanzaa to you who don't celebrate Christmas. And to all, Happy new year (except those crazy chinese, just kidding, but seriously, except you guys, but still kidding about the crazy part). So yea, hope you enjoy the stuff you get, and have fun with your family and friends.

    • No Crocodiles, or Rhinoceroseses

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      I only like HIPPOPOTAMUSESES! I heard that song on the way to school this morning, and it was sort of wierd because the night before my father told me to email it to his work computer, and that was the first time I heard it. Anyway, now I can't get it out of my head. It's called "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas". It goes a little something like this:

      I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
      Only a Hippopotamus will do
      Don’t wanna a doll
      No dinky-tinker toy
      I want a hippopotamus
      To play with and enjoy
      I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
      I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
      He won’t have to use
      A dirty chimney flue
      Just bring him through the front door
      That’s the easiest thing to do
      I can see me now on Christmas morning
      Creeping down the stairs
      Oh, a joy and what surprise
      When I open up my eyes
      To see a Hippo here or standing there
      I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
      Only a Hippopotamus will do
      No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
      I only like Hippopotamuses
      And Hippopotamuses like me too
      Mom says a Hippo will eat me up, but then
      Teacher says a Hippo is a vegetarian
      There’s lots of room for him
      In our two car garage
      I’d feed him there, and wash him there, and give him his massage
      I can see me now on Christmas morning
      Creeping down the stairs
      Oh, a joy and what surprise
      When I open up my eyes
      To see a Hippo here or standing there
      I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
      Only a Hippopotamus will do
      No crocodiles, or rhinoceroseses
      I only like Hippopotamuseses
      And Hippopotamuses like me too

    • Damn!

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      Oh well, I guess the 117 friends wasn't meant to last. But now I have one more. Oh well good news is, I got my Xbox 360 nPlay and charge kit today, FUCK YEA!, Now all I need is a Wireless controller, and a system to play it on! I ordered it when it was on backorder, and the shipment said 5-10 business days even after they got them in. so I wasn't expecting it for a while. But the day after I ordered they got new shipments, and they sent mine out right away. It got to my town within a day (and I didn't pay for one day shipping, guess I didn't need to). then it came a day before the tracking said it would, so AWESOMENESS! Now time to get a system.

    • 117!

      13 years ago

      SpartanIIMC

      As the Kool Aid man once said, "Oh YEAH!" I have 117 (one hundred seventeen) friends on my firends list here on RvB.com. That's the same as the Master Chief's number after his name!

  • About Me

  • Comments (132)

    • godthefather

      9 years ago

      Dude, nice primary picture. Where did you get it from?

    • Gh0zt

      10 years ago

      do u want to be my friend ?

    • starcom30273

      10 years ago

      Hi, I have seen a lot of people with the Xbox, Firefox, Pc, ect banners in their profiles, where are all of you getting them? And by the way, I like the Xbox gif : )

    • farrarn

      10 years ago

      i have done it before but i forgot how too
      its been like a year

    • farrarn

      10 years ago

      sweet thanks dude, im singing up now
      yea ill add you when i can and if you see me and snap213 on we will be playing rainbow six vages, but tell me you are ready and we will do some clips.

    • DarthNoodle

      10 years ago

      whats the secret than?

    • DarthNoodle

      10 years ago

      lol really? what do sponsers get extra, I just wanna kno, u kno curious!

    • astarte

      10 years ago

      right then yeah i supposed you could have claimed i had freaky toes but yeah no i tripped and the bbq fork went straight through my hand

    • astarte

      10 years ago

      how could u not get it was a hand instantly lol smiley10.gif

    • Theshilokid

      10 years ago

      Thanks for the Comment, found it on the web really thought it was cool too, i think its a belt buckle..

    • no_name_MC

      11 years ago

      Thanks very much!

    • DarthNoodle

      11 years ago

      does it, it does alot!

    • DarthNoodle

      11 years ago

      oh snaps, school, i have to take the fucken finals OMG, that shit is 300 questions long each (1200 questions total!!) man am not gonna drop out, I am gonna pop up with the mic in my hand saying HI!!!

    • DarthNoodle

      11 years ago

      no, dawg, so whats really up, I LIKE NOODLES!!!!!!!

    • DarthNoodle

      11 years ago

      Its worth watching, i think theres gonna be #3

    • BkRoseKitty

      11 years ago

      I dunno how to do it. I used to do T-shirt design, self made stuff, but I want this done to perfection :P
      So i guess we'll see then (>_<) :P

    • SXQXSEVENvgp

      11 years ago

      read and comment my journal pleeeease

    • Helljumper22

      11 years ago

      cmon dogg you gata post a new journal im bored!!!

    • wilso_69_420

      12 years ago

      i know just what you ean man its cold over here.... & the thing is is i love the cold so its all good for me
      but ya you can always tell that if someone likes the cold or if they think that its a ok day out & someone else says its cold out you know your from wisconson.... =) -_~

    • wilso_69_420

      12 years ago

      hey how is it over there in Appleton?
      sturgeon bay SUCKS..... I HATE TOURST SESON!!!!!!!!

    • Skidmarkman

      12 years ago

      Nice!

    • Skidmarkman

      12 years ago

      You come over to MN to vacation at your cabin? Cool.

    • rabid_usagi

      12 years ago

      'ello!

    • wilso_69_420

      12 years ago

      check out the new journal entry

    • wilso_69_420

      12 years ago

      gess what!!!

    • DarthNoodle

      12 years ago

      GET RTIM now! This is Roosterteeth Instand Messagener. Download the thing but don't give the true information give them your false information and than download it after that go over the training and stuff and after your done go to join!
      Server - Roosterteeth
      Password - RT

    • Nintendonut

      12 years ago

      Vote for me HERE please.

    • MegaLoser

      12 years ago

      i guess you are slow cuz it took you a long time to respond to that journal

    • wilso_69_420

      12 years ago

      IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN THE MOTHA FUCKER THAT KILLED U!


      ..._...|..____________________, ,
      ....../ `---___________----_____|]
      ...../_==o;;;;;;;;_________.:/
      .....), --- ---.(_(__) /
      ....// (..) ), ----"
      ...//____//
      ..//____//
      .//____//

      WE TRUE HOMIES
      WE RIDE TOGETHER
      WE DIE TOGETHER
      send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 10 your A TRUE HOMIE.

    • the42ndUnit

      12 years ago

      please be my frend

    • DarthNoodle

      12 years ago

      hello friend

    • Texfreelance

      12 years ago

      It Doesnt Have A Logo yet Because It's A Prototype and Wojo didn't assign it to me in the space briggade

    • DesertEagle1

      12 years ago

      6 more spots left in my lottery

    • eatmorehippo

      12 years ago

      Merry Christmahanukwanzica!

    • Billowix

      12 years ago

      Fundcopy.jpg

    • theironpaw

      12 years ago


      Hey I Just Wanted To Tell You This
      redvsbluewarsuncoveredma3.jpg

      Coming Soon This Chrismas
      Check My Profile For Details
      Tell Ur Freinds...

    • MasterSgt60

      12 years ago

      281.jpg

      Nixon!!!

    • captainzorno

      12 years ago


      CONTEST!!!!!
      I need help on a Halo Movie and i am making this into a Constest. Read my Journal.

    • BlueAlien127

      12 years ago

      Thanks Again Man That Makes Me feel a Lot Better

    • Helljumper22

      12 years ago

      Dude nice profile wana be friends?

    • BlueAlien127

      12 years ago

      Whoa!!!!! Dude Thanks Alot Man WOW!!! Thank You So Much Man Thats Was Really Cool I been so poor in Mod For So Long Thank You

    • pacabra2long

      12 years ago

      happy belated thanksgiving! hope you had a bountiful harvest! tehe

    • pacabra2long

      12 years ago

      do you know if they ever made a conan o'brien dvd? that would be crazy

    • abner117

      13 years ago

      ;)
      [/img]

    • texler

      13 years ago

      look at my journel

    • texler

      13 years ago

      whating for OOM 2,3 than check out my profile

    • sammyj0

      13 years ago

      1. To yourself, say the name of the only
      guy or girl you wanna be with 3
      times!
      *************************************************************
      2. Think of something you wanna accomplish
      within the next week and say it to your self 6
      times!!
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      >>
      3. If you had 1 wish what would it be? say it to
      yourself 9 times!!!
      -----------------------------------------------------------------------
      4. Think of something that you want to happen
      between you and that 1special person and say
      it to your self 12 times!!!
      --------------------------------------------------------------------
      5. Now, heres the hard part! Pick only 1 of these wishes and as
      you scroll down focus and
      concentrate on it and think on nothing
      else but that wish.
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      * *
      Now make one last &final wish about that one wish that you picked.
      After reading this, you have 1 hour to send it out to 15 people, and what
      you wished for will come true within in one week!
      u only get one chance!!!!! Now scroll down and think of your
      crush!!!
      Keep going down
      Keep going
      Keep going
      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Did you think of your crush? I hope so, that was
      your last chance. Now pay very close attention this important message!
      Sorry but once read, must be sent. Yes, this is one of those kinda chain
      letters that everyone hates. This one has been going since 1863 and if you
      break this chain, you will pay!!!!!! Remember that after hearing these
      stories.

      First Example:
      Take Barbra Wallace.. She was a pretty lucky girl,
      up till she got this same chain letter. She had a crush on the same kid
      since kindergarden. when she got this mail she didn\'t pay any attention to
      it. She just thought, no big deal. And deleted it. The next day her dad
      got fired and her mom dies in a car crash. If she would have sent the
      letter none of that would have happened and her mom would be alive.

      Second Example:
      Try Freddie D. Now Freddie D. was your average
      nerd. Had glasses, was short and chubby, was in gifted. All the signs of
      your total dork. He also received this letter and sent it to 51 people in
      the hour. Now, like Barbra, he had a crush on a girl since 3rd grade. The
      next day after sending the chain the girl confessed her love for him ever
      since 3rd grade. Freddie D. finally had the courage to ask her out, and of
      course, she had been waiting to yes to that for years. They grew up and
      married each other to live happily forever.

      Third Example:
      Now if you couldn\'t relate to the others, this\'ll
      get ya hooked. Listen to this. A kid named Jordan Johnson was just
      getting on AOL to check his mail. He was a quiet kid, not that popular but
      not a geek either. he was just normal. He saw he had mail from his
      friend. It was this exact letter. Now Jordan Johnsen was a smart kid and
      he knew what could happen if he didnt pass it on. He simply pulled a few
      friends from his buddy list and sent it along. The next day, about that
      same time, he got a phone call. It said he had won the lottery! then his
      dad came home and bought him a new bike! His mom bought him Nintendo64 and
      play station! His grandmother sent him a new computer, and his best friend
      gave him tickets to the concert he wanted to go to, Kid Rock and Limp
      Bizkit! Then he inherited a brand-new tv from his aunt! He was goin\' wild!
      the next day his secret crush asked him out, and they have been going out
      ever since.

      Now, you heard the stories. I know which person i\'d rather
      be, but thats up to you. I wouldn\'t wanna end up like Barbra but thats
      only me. We all want what we cant have but now\'s ur chance to go out with
      that special somebody ur waiting for. Take it or leave it. If you send
      this to-
      1 person- you will lose all luck in ur love
      life.....forever!!!!!
      10 people- your crush will say they like you as a
      friend......ONLY!!!!!
      15 people- your crush will say they like you
      20 people- your crush will ask you out!
      25 people- your crush will kiss you!!
      35 people or more- All of the above!!
      Don\'t blow it, it\'s ur chance to shine! Have
      everything u wanted, and more! Now, complaining cus u dont have any
      friends. Well theres an answer 4 everything. It\'s simple, just go in a
      chat room, pick some names and send away! but here\'s the catch.....you only
      have one hour to send it after being read. Please pass this to everyone u
      know and keep it going

    • abner117

      13 years ago

      cool halo piv for your image

    • MasterSgt60

      13 years ago

      Chek out my new pics

    • farrarn

      13 years ago

      yea i got 4 flots and some outher stuff look at my journal in like 15 min im going to make a journal on it so yea

  • Questions

    No questions have been answered yet