The_Frizz

Female
from I'm from many places

  • Activity

    • Follow me

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      I'm back full time baby!

      FushigiHime

    • Feels like...

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      ...I'm in limbo.

      I went over to his place last night to gather a few more things of mine, and noticed a change, it doesn't feel like home anymore. Granted Frisbee still greeted me like usual, the rest of the place felt tainted to me. (That might have something to do with the fact he had that co-worker of his over the day after I moved out.) My place, even with all of my things, doesn't feel like home. It will be one week tomorrow that I've been in this place, and I think I've had a total of 10 hours of sleep the whole week. What was my home doesn't feel like home and what is my home doesn't feel like home either, and I'm wandering somewhere in between.

      This has been harder on me that I thought it would be. There are times where I have to stop myself from doing things out of habit, because the situation is different now. For example I want to see Transformers with him, but I can't ask him to wait for me, so we can see it together anymore. He will probably go during the day when everything is less packed, where as I will probably wait for it to come out on DVD and watch it at home. I've only seen one movie in the theater alone and that was X-Men 3. It's different seeing it alone, cause you don't have that other person there to talk about the movie with afterwards. I don't have a single friend here at all that I could go to the movies with either. The only people I talk to are my co-workers. Then again I never was one for going out much.

      Bottom line is that I miss him like crazy, and even though I have seen him for an hour or two every day this week, I'm still missing him. Don't give me the blah blah better with time shpeel, or that I should distance myself from him, I will continue to see him from time to time. I just yearn for what I can never have again.

    • RIP Ed

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      Ed McMahon passed away this morning. I'm rather sad to hear this news. My prayers go out to his family.

    • So yeah

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      So I moved into my new place on Friday. Trying my best to get everything the way I want it. Trying my best not to break the bank when getting the items I need for my place. Trying my best not to break down in tears every 5 minutes because I still don’t want this.

      Haven’t been able to sleep because my cat is not adjusted and cries all night long.
      Haven’t been able to eat, regardless of appetite. I could be starving, but put food in front of me and all appetite is gone.

      Haven’t been able to accept the fact my relationship is over. Yes time heals all wounds, but I still love the guy, and he’s been there for me throughout all of this. Yes I know I’ve vented about him a lot and painted him as the bad guy, but he really is not that bad. I don’t want to hear anything negative about him as he’s really really helped me out during this move and making it easy on me. A part of him didn’t want this as much as I didn’t want this, but we have our reasons for why this is.

      I knew this was going to be hard, I really didn’t think it was going to be this hard. Yes I know it’s going to get easier, but I really did lose a lot of comfort that I grew used to. Having two cats around is not the same as having a human presence, but it does help a little. I just wish Ocelot would adjust sooner so I can get some sleep at night. Having him crying all night long is not helpful with what little sleep I am able to get.

      I do know for certain that I am done for a very long time when it comes to dating. I feel very broken, and I still want that future with him. I wanted to marry him. Oh well, can’t always get what you want. I do know that I need a lot of time. Time to adjust, time to be on my own, time to try to enjoy being single.

      I do know that soon I’ll be back as FushigiHime I just don’t know exactly when. This account, The_Frizz will be turned into a memorial to who it’s named after, my kitty Frisbee. I really miss not having him around all the time, but I know without a doubt he is well taken care of by my ex. Wow, that actually stung calling him my ex. *sigh* it is what it is.

      Hopefully I’ll have my desk all built tonight and my computer set up. Hopefully my internet will be working and I don’t have to make a phone call to AT&T all the while trying to be nice. Hopefully I won’t have a heart attack when I see my credit card bill. The last time I checked there was 1200 dollars on it. I don’t even want to think of what the balance is now. Maybe if I have the time I’ll log in tonight to numb my mind from everything else going around me, but like I said that’s a maybe.

      Well I’m going to attempt to get some work done even if it’s a great struggle to keep my eyes open. Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer, I just wanted to let everyone know I’m still alive even if all the bruises all over my legs and arms look like I got into a serious fight. Have a good day, and I’ll try to do the same.

    • I know I just posted a journal...

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      ...but I'm posting another, so deal with it.

      I hate my emotions, all my life they've ruled over me. Always been weak, never able to grow a damn spine. Read an email, told myself to take a deep breath and relax. Nobody else listens to me, why should I even listen to me. Thank god I was on my lunch break because 20 minutes of it was spent in my car bawling my eyes out in 100 degree heat.

      I'm so disappointed in myself for letting my damn emotions constantly take over my life. It's fear, it's my heart breaking, it's anger, it's all these emotions all wrapped up, in 5'6" 129lbs me and the damn just broke. I've got too much shit weighing on me, and it seems like it's just one thing after another after another.

      I'm tired of feeling alone, I'm tired of feeling like I can't hold things together, I'm tired of so much right now, and I don't know now if I'm going to be better off on my own. See this is fear talking now, and I know this, but you see my spine didn't develop right when I was born.

      I'm just so tired.

    • 8 Days

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      Is all I have left before I'm in my new place. I'm starting to feel that bud of fear blossoming in my stomach right now, no wait, maybe it's gas... Honestly I am starting to feel some trepidation towards this move, but I know that everything will be just fine.

      I look at it as a very elaborate 1st birthday present to my kitten Cougar. His birthday is the 19th, so he gets a whole new place to explore. Ocelot gets a place free from Frisbee and he will no longer fear an attack from Frisbee. I will hopefully get the peace and quiet I need at night to get some much needed sleep. Though I don't see that happening while I still have boxes, as Cougar loves to chew on cardboard.

      So this weekend and following week is going to be busy for me, but at least I don't have a whole lot to move. Granted it might seem like a lot once I start going over everything to see what's mine or not. Good thing is I still have boxes I never unpacked from when I just moved in March. Oh well it'll be worth it as I don't have a human to answer to, just felines. Yes I'm pussy whipped...

      Things are happening, and soon all will be revealed.

    • Oops

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

      He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again.

      He tried a fourth time with the same result.

      The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail's pace.

      Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

    • Hi, my name is Erin...

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      ...and I have a problem.

      The artist in me is fighting with the financial planner in me. The artist is the little devil on my left shoulder, and the financial planner is the angel on the right. Both are talking to me, one tormenting, the other scolding. Artistic devil is saying, think of all the pretty things you could make. Financial planner angel is saying, save the money, you're going to be on your own soon. Devil is telling me how shiny and sparkly these are, and that you'll need pretty sparkly things to keep you busy. I'm thinking in the end the devil is going to win. My creative side has been really stale lately, even though I have 3 new finished pieces of art at home.

      *sigh* Damn you swarovski. Damn you for making these pretty Rivolis that I just love creating things with. Damn you for all the beautiful colors. Damn you ebay for tempting me so, and damnit that I don't have the money to buy each and every stone on that list. *sigh* But I want them. I need a really really rich sugar daddy. Oh think of all the pretty crystals and beads and other crafty things I could buy if I had someone with a really deep pocket.

      So, who wants to be my sugar daddy??

    • Losing weight

      10 years ago

      The_Frizz

      Yep I've been losing weight, but it's more stress weight loss than me actually dieting and exercising. Lost about 8 pounds and still falling. Stepped on the scale this morning to check my weight, and I saw a number I haven't seen in a few years. Now however when I look at myself in the mirror I can see I've lost weight, but it's not where I wanted it to vanish from. Couldn't lose it in my ass or thighs, no that would have been preferred, I've been cursed with a shrinking bust. It's like puberty going backwards and my boobs are saying goodbye. It's depressing. Not that I had a large rack to begin with, but damn at least I had something to work with. I want my boobs back dammit!

      This rant was brought to you by the letter B and oobs. (I need sleep.)

  • About Me

  • Comments (260)

    • Lady_Bufford

      10 years ago

      Those are what I am looking for...I just need new ones!

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      So does she...in the form of slave labor. smiley8.gif

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      You deserve it too.

      And I'm willing to bet your very own apartment is bigger than 440 sq.ft. smiley8.gif

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      It is what friends do. I take my friendships seriously which is why I end up traveling around visiting the people I meet online so I can shake their hand in person. We have opened our homes to them here and I love building on that.

      You are a friend and I feel the pain when my friends are hurting.

      Bufford

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Just wanted to say Good Morning!

      b06.jpg

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      Jeffy?

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      bouncing baby asshats


      I, quite literally, LOL'd at that... smiley1.gif

    • ABYSS_GK

      10 years ago

      No, I'm wary of things like that...

    • ABYSS_GK

      10 years ago

      I'd love to learn how to, but the classes that are in the area are so expensive. And I've tried to just buythe wires to practice making them on my own, but there aren't any stores that sell them here.... I'd wanna make a bikini/ dress thing

    • ABYSS_GK

      10 years ago

      Right before I left for Vancouver the first time, I had someone make it for me and link it onto my wrist. It doesn't come off unless I decide to cut it off.

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      You have very nice eyes!!


      Why thank you!

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      That is nice. I was there one time during the summer.... August or close to then, helping with a sales conference. I had spent 1.5 days in a hotel and wanted to get some fresh air, so I went outside and the humidity hit me like a brick. I went right back into the building. smiley1.gif

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      don't forget the other H word there... humid. smiley0.gif

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      You anywhere near San Diego? I would have you buy me some too. LOL

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      That sucks. I can't wait until he does another tour.

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      I actually got to see him in concert right before his show, The Riches got canceled. He was brilliant. He went to cavemen being hunter gatherers to describing giraffes.

      And he wasn't dressed in drag. He was in jeans and a suit coat. Shirt too of course. LOL

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      smiley12.gif

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      I am very sorry to hear that. smiley2.gif

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      I hope it was a mistake in choosing him, but it really isn't any of my business.

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      well, I am sorry about that.

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Wow, has it been that long???? I remember you talking about moving with with a guy....

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Sorry it didn't work out. But you tried, that is what life is about.

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Can't wait to see them. smiley1.gif

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Good for you!

      I read that journal of yours about showing your artwork. Hope that works out for you. I have been thinking about sending some of my photos to a friend of a friend who owns a gallery and see what he has to say about them.

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Where are you moving. Or is that a secret? smiley0.gif

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      So what have you been up to?

    • GodOBiscuits FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Cool!

      I also added your other account. smiley0.gif

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Awesome, I love to cook, mostly bake, I enjoy baking. I don't mind cooking either though.

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Hey you, just wanted to say good morning!

      Hope all is well.

      Bufford

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      ahhh hope it works out!! smiley0.gif

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      Fantastic!

      Prep your magic fingers!

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      I haven't had a cup of coffee yet, I'm reading nothing into anything but my own paranoia smiley8.gif

      How's it goin' today?

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      Surfing the internet at work?

      Shame!



      SHAME!!!

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      I never said you should post them.

      Just take them out in the years ahead and sigh wistfully with an accompanying, "Boy, I remember when..." smiley8.gif

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      Uh...no.

    • ABYSS_GK

      10 years ago

      Yea, I was on my Itouch and accidentally deleted our message... Could you resend it?

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      Aye, since I've been on a glutin free/yeast free diet due to an allergy I've been losing ( though I cheat often).

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      Yeah I will try my very best, I always get freaked out that I'm going to "lose it," though I'm hoping my cyclical patterns continue to work, I'll end up devoting all my time to the artwork, and then I notice I haven't written anything substantial in a while (though it's always in motion with both vehicles) and then I'll switch my attention to that, then I get paranoid about the other thing, it's a big mess. Now I'm worried about the artwork ( though I have several I have not had the money/time to get scanned, I'll work on getting that up soon).

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      Glad to hear your well! I'm doing fine here, keeping busy and stuff, my internet usage has been down tremendously, mainly because I rarely have any free time, so when I do get it I've been trying to write (the story I'm working on has really been consuming a lot of my time). Trying not to be a stranger, hope all continues to be well!

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      Not a problem.

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      LOL...oh gotcha. Yep on the daughter wanting more I'm sure and as for Mom-in-Law....yep! I tell her that all the time, she turns red and giggles. My wife thinks its funny.

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Yeah, probably so. I love my monster-in-law, she is a really cool woman. And at 50 she still looks great in a bikini.

      smiley8.gif

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      Yep, that cruise is the one Dawn and I went on a year ago for her birthday, we are taking her mom for her 50th birthday and figured since it was Adara's first cruise we would do something relatively short.

      I LOVE COCO-KAY!

      That place is like a little taste of heaven in a hammock

    • RBuffordTJ

      10 years ago

      The cruise is just a 4 day one on Royal Caribian to Nassau (spelling?) and then to their private island of Coco-Kay for a day of hammocks and other fine things!

      As for Dawn's car, yeah, she deserves it, she is one incredible woman. Besides, anyone who can put up with me for this long deserves a car and a place in heaven.

      Bufford

    • Brakus

      10 years ago

      Hey there, sorry was away for a few days and busy working. All is well here for the most part, how are things for you?

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      Just doing my job, ma'am...

    • mb2000inc

      10 years ago

      Mazda is only Partially owned by Ford. smiley8.gif
      And with the bailout situation... Mazda is on it's way to becoming an independent car company, like Saturn will be.

      And as for Honda... good luck on repairs. smiley6.gif
      If you must own a foreign car, I'd suggest German Engineering... like Volkswagon, Mercedes, or BMW. smiley1.gif

    • mb2000inc

      10 years ago

      Good, I don't think anyone should have to put up with that crap! Ever.

      It was my pleasure. :-)

    • JeffSon

      10 years ago

      The funny thing about arguments. They only matter if you give a shit what the other person is calling you.

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