The_Xerox

Male
from Houghton, MI

  • Activity

    • The Ant and the Grasshopper

      12 years ago

      The_Xerox

      OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat
      all summer long, building

      his house and laying up supplies for the winter The
      grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances
      and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is
      warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
      shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

      MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible

      MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering
      heat all summer long, building his house and laying
      up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
      he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
      summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
      calls a press conference and demands to know why the
      ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
      others are cold and starving.

      CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of
      the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant
      in his comfortable home with a table filled with
      food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How
      can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this
      poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

      Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the
      grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing,
      "It's Not Easy Being Green." ; Jesse Jackson stages a
      demonstration in front of the ant's house where the
      news stations film the group singing, "We shall
      overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to
      pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Ted Kennedy &
      John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather
      that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
      grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike
      on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally,
      the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
      Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning
      of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a
      proportionate number of green bugs and, having
      nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home
      is confiscated by the government.

      Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
      grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and
      the case is tried before a panel of federal judges
      that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent
      welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.

      The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
      the last bits of the ant's food while the government
      house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's
      old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
      maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. The
      grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident
      and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang
      of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
      neighborhood.

      MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't Vote Democrat

    • Paying up

      12 years ago

      The_Xerox

      "Three people of my choosing will get three mods each. All you have to do is, if you get the mods, post a journal like this and give three mods each to three people. Yes, I know you will lose some mods. It's a sacrifice. This is a small insignificant way of making the world of our Rooster Teeth community a better place.

      I said "of my choosing" because I'm not going to give just anybody the mods. Just three of the few people I know and trust to keep this going."

    • What about illegal imigrants...

      12 years ago

      The_Xerox

      A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the crap you hear on TV.
      -----------
      Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

      Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house).
      According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part). If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.
      It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.
      And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker.
      Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me
      -----------
      Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America ....if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it as a good simile. If not blow it off along with your future Social Security funds.

      PBF027AD-Billy_the_Bunny.jpg

    • Man I got screwed...

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      Yeah, so last year I signed up to room with a guy I know, in the hall of an R.A. I know, and that was all cool and whatnot. Then like a month ago, I found out that my roommate was not going to come back to school this year, so the school put me with a freshman, which was ok since I still would be in the hall I wanted. But then I get up to school, and there's no sign of the guy I thought was going to be my roommate and insted there's this asian guy who doesn't really speak any english (I don't have anything against asians, but it's fairly difficult to communicate and all). Appearently someone at the school fucked up or something.

    • Dialup Blues....

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      Yeah, I got it bad. I come home from college where I got T1-speed internet to my parent's house where they still havn't upgraded from a 30ish kbps dial-up connection. So it kinda sucks right now, and I don't really know how often I will be able to get on over the summer. Downloading episodes is gonna be a bitch....

    • Hey everyone!

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      yeah, I'm in this contest thing (which is not something I normaly do) so if you all could vote for me here I would greatly appreciate it.

    • Happy St. Patty's Day

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      Happy St. Patrick's day everyone!

    • vote for this guy

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      all a y'all should vote for Cpt_Murphy here cuz if you don't ... um, .... bad things ... will happen ... to ... your ... car tires. yeah... just do it.

    • Dang it...

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      Spring break is over smiley2.gif ... well almost. school starts up again tomorow. Oh well, that means that there are just 7 weeks more to go.

      My friggin' roommate is back already too, and I swear, every 10 minutes he farts like nobody's business. It's getting repulsive just to be in the room.

    • Spring Break Here I Come!

      13 years ago

      The_Xerox

      One week left until spring break! YAY!

      Unfortunately I'm not actually going to do anything incredibly special this year, but my family is coming up to go skiing and then bring me back home. The break from school and my f***ing retarded roommate will be nice.

  • About Me

  • Comments (17)

    • Neoma

      11 years ago

      Summarizing you.

    • k_dizzle

      11 years ago

      just dropin by to say whats up

    • wilso_69_420

      12 years ago

      check out the new journal entry

    • microphone

      12 years ago

      UR ALIVE!

    • AHeadShot

      12 years ago

      What's up?


      arch_x4536c7774dbf0copy.jpg

    • TabbyKat

      12 years ago

      who doesn't like sobe?

    • Lorrry Rawrie

      13 years ago

      dial-up does suck! smiley0.gif

    • MrsRobinson

      13 years ago

      Happy Valentine's Day

    • The_Xerox

      13 years ago

      Cool thanks

    • Zack FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Zatch

      13 years ago

      I've seen Luke around, if I see him soon, I'll tell him you said hi.

    • SoccerWard

      13 years ago

      Why thank you very much. It's an honor to be here!

    • TabbyKat

      13 years ago

      tabbykat01.gif

    • MoveOn

      13 years ago

      thank you

    • MoveOn

      13 years ago

      Wintereenmas.jpg

    • Sphynx21

      13 years ago

      Think American Pie when you see it

    • veggyalpha

      13 years ago

      opps forgot to type the comment oh well fuck it

    • veggyalpha

      13 years ago

      kitty.jpg

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