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from Mentor, Ohio

  • Activity

    • I Stand By This....

      14 years ago


      Are you tired of all those mushy friendship poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship!

      1. When you are sad, I will get you drunk and will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

      2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

      3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid and give you a high five.

      4. When you are scared, I will rag you about it every chance I get.

      5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

      6. When you are confused, I will use smaller words and draw pictures to explain.

      7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you're well again. i don't want that shit.

      8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumbsy ass.

      This is my oath, I pledge 'til the end. Why, you may ask? Because you're my friend!

      Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.

    • Application For a Piece of Ass

      14 years ago


      Application For a Piece of Ass


      Age:__________ Phone:______________

      Hair Color:__________
      Real Hair Color:____________
      Eye Color:___________

      Dentures: __________
      Weight: _________
      Waist Size: __________
      Breast or Bra Size: __________

      Marital Status:
      Divorced:_________ Other__________

      Are Your Breasts Real? ____________
      Do You Like Them:
      Sucked_________ Chewed__________ Kissed____________
      Caressed__________ Squeezed________ Licked_________
      All of the Above____________

      Can You Stay Out Late? _____________ How Late?_____________
      All Night? _________ Several Days? ___________

      Do You Like To Have Sex And Be Screwed All Night? ____________

      How Often? __________

      Do You Like Oral Sex? _____________

      Pussy Size:
      Small ________ Medium __________
      Large ____________ Extra Large __________

      While Screwing Do You:
      Faint______ Fart______ Cry______ Moan______
      Hum______ Whistle______ Scream_______ Sing_______
      Scratch___________ Just Lay There_________
      All of the Above_____________________

      List the Top 3 Positions You Like the Best:

      When You Cum Do You:
      Wiggle______ Wobble__________
      Twist_______ Jerk_________ Scream________
      Cry________ Just Start Humping Like Hell___________

      What Kind of Screw Do You Like?
      Fast_________ Super Fast__________ Slow__________
      All Night____________ All Speeds___________

      How Many Times? _________________
      How Long Do You Like To Screw At
      One Interval? ___________________________

      If You Have Screwed Before, Give Two(2) References
      (Not Immediate Family)

      Name:______________ Address:______________

      Name:______________ Address:______________

      Would your service be Free of Charge?_______

      If Application Is Favorable, And If Not Free,
      What Are Your Charges For:

      One Night_________ One Hour____________
      Muff Burger Special or Blow Job?___________

      What Credit Cards Will You Accept?

      Master Card_____ VISA______ Am. Express_______
      Sears________ JC Penney's___________
      All of the Above________ Others_________

      Comments __________________________


      14 years ago


      So how bout when you're somewhat good at Halo 2. You you're not that bad. I play alot and im about up to level 30. you know...its good clean fun. just having a good time, playing, winning, losing...just having fun. But then, right when you get to around level 30 ( and i dont know why its lv 30) you run into modders. Just how fucking gay is this shit. I got Legitimatly modded for the first time 07/6/2005 2:45 PM. The game lasted no more than 2:12. the score was 50 to -1. we lost horribly. it was so gay. The game was on warlock and the one guy who was modding...every bullet he shot hit me in the head...and his assult rifle was rappid fire. he was really fast and could jump out of the level. it was so fucking retarded. i now see that leveling up in halo 2 is damn near pointless. so i give up on actually, really trying to win and level up. im just going to play. heres the stats if you all wanna see.

      fuck modders

    • I Hate My Job

      14 years ago


      When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this.

      On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson.

      Be very sure you get this brand.

      When you get home, open the package and remove the thermometer.
      Now the fun part begins - Take out the literature and read it carefully.
      You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"

      Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."


    • 51 ways to annoy everyone

      14 years ago


      1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
      2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
      3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
      4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.
      5) Improvise Italian operas.
      6) Gossip about someone to their face.
      7) Answer every question with a question.
      8) Repeat yourself constantly.
      9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.
      10) Repeat yourself constantly.
      11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
      12) Repeat yourself constantly.
      13) Change what you repeat every now and then.
      14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
      15) Change what you repeat every now and then.
      16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
      17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.
      18) Change what you repeat every now and then.
      19) One word: Caffeine.
      20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.
      21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.
      22) Using non-existent words like George Bush would.
      23) Change what you repeat again.
      24) Speak in rapid Spanish.
      25) Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.
      26) When doing number 25, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.
      27) Change what you repeat again.
      28) You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.
      29) Rudely correct everybody's grammar.
      30) Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.
      31) Pretend to be drunk.
      32) Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.
      33) Change what you repeat again.
      34) Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.
      35) Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.
      36) Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.
      37) Change what you repeat again.
      38) For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.
      39) Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.
      40) Pretend to be high.
      41) Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
      42) Change what you repeat again.
      43) You ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.
      44) Speak in Gaelic.
      45) Blink rapidly and constantly.
      46) Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.
      47) Strut.
      48) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
      49) Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
      50) Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."
      51) Have this list printed on a T-shirt and write above it "Check list for Today." Don't let anybody forget that you have it on.

    • Anything Final Fantasy VII

      in Forums > Anything Final Fantasy VII | Follow this topic


      If you live, breathe, and sleep Final Fantasy 7...then this is the place for you. This thread is for anything related to final fantasy 7. Weather its the original game, or the new releases and variations of it, you are welcome to dicuss the phenom that is FF7.

      20148 replies

    • A Parents Worst Nightmere..."The Letter"

      14 years ago


      A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

      Dear Dad,

      It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant, and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
      Your son, John
      PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

      (Gunna try this next year if i friggen can't handle

    • Well, now what do I do....

      14 years ago


      Well, Red vs Blue Season 3 DVD is now made, and out for the viewing public. I'm so excited to get it I can hardly wait. I already have season 1 and 2 on DVD. So Its only right to complete the the collection (even if i didnt want it. Psh, are you kidding?) I'd sell my soul to buy that little piece of plastic. I know when i get it i'm going to get it i'll be acting like the Red Zelot from ep. 39. "Everyone, everyone. Look unto me! I possess RvB season 3 DVD! I have seen the top of the mountian and you will worship me as though i were a god!" heh....well, a little something like that at least.

      But seriously, once i get the season 3 dvd, and watch every aspect of it. (easter eggs and all)...what comes next. Do i continue to watch the dvd until my dvd player is comepletly worn out? or so i watch past episodes and dream of how things used to be? im a confused little boy. My only hope is that season 4 will start sooner than expected. Because i will have nothing new to watch!!! must make season 4 as soon as possible.....otherwise.....i will have ot do the unthinkable. i will have to......POST NEGITIVE COMMENTS!! uh.....and...i will.....uh.....neg bomb everyone!! and....uh....i'll get....really mad. yeah..thats what i'll do. well...not really. i still love you guys.

      ^^ I love these guys so much

    • WTF do I have to do around here.......

      14 years ago


      Seriously. I've been participating in some forums, downloaded all the episodes for RvB and Strangerhood, and i try tp post a new journal everyday (doesnt always work), and im tying to make new friends whenever i get the chance. And its takes effing forever to get your karma level up! i mean, i suppose it would have to take a while, you know...makes people get involved in the site...but what the fuck do i have to do around here? jeez. lol. its cool though. i still love you RT. but we can't all be like Jeskid. lol.

      I Can't wait for season 4 of RvB to come out. I've been in some forums throwing around some ideas of what the next season will have in store for our favorite characters. It would be really cool if some of you guys would leave me some feedback as to what you think will happen in season 4. just leave me some comments or somethig. i dont know. good way to communicate i guess. So yeah. also if you wanna talk about The Strangerhood thats cool too. i mean, i didnt really like the series right off the bat....but its kindda grown on me. ya know? well...leave me some feedback. later.

    • Download Mania

      14 years ago


      Wow....well my plan was to BUY all of the dvd...which i still might do....however, i've just finished downloading all the episodes. It was kindda rough finding all the older eipsodes but i found a web site that has episodes 1-33. including the Limp Bizkit opeening and the trailer. and a few PSA's. I already have season 1 on dvd...but i was so tempted to just download them all (just takes up a lot of room.) but not i have them all (seasons 1, 2, and, 3) and im able to watch them anytime i want. but i still want to be a sponsor for season 4. for sure. i hope i still can. In the meantime im just going to designate a day where i'll watch all 3 seasons. it'll be a RvB marathon. hell, maybe i'll get a few of my buds and we'll all watch it. then some halo 2 afterwards. actually it'll be this saturday. ive just decided. lol. Well, if anyone wants to play some halo 2 with me im always up for it. Im up to level 26 be fun. all right. peace.

      heres that website with 1-33 episodes if anyone wants it.

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