ToneDizzle05

Not Specified
from Mentor, Ohio

  • Activity

    • I Really Dont Like Mod Points

      13 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      yeah so i still have 32 mods and i dont want them anymore. so im just randomly going to give them to one person who has commented on my journals the most. lol. so yeah you're pretty cool. thanks.

    • um...im bored

      13 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      so im just gonna give two mod points to everyone who comments on this journal. i only have 46 mod points. so the first 23 people who comment will get two each. you can only comment once. so yeah. this'll go on till i have no more. so whatever. lol. i really dont care what you say. you can tell me to fuck off and cancel my account if you want. so yeah. go for it.

    • The Man Club

      13 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      The 37 rules to being a 'Man' !!! (courtesy of b0g.org)

      1.) It is ok for a Man to cry under the following circumstances:

      - When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
      - The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
      - After wrecking your boss' car.
      - One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
      - When she is using her teeth.


      2.) Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.


      3.) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.


      4.) If you've known a Man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.


      5.) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.


      6.) No Man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another Man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.


      7.) On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


      8.) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


      9.) It is permissible to drink a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.


      10.) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another Man in the nuts.


      11.) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


      12.) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.


      13.) If a Man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.


      14.) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.


      15.) A Man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.


      16.) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.


      17.) If you compliment a Man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.


      18.) Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.


      19.) Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another Man while lifting weights:

      - Yeah, Baby, Push it!
      - C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
      - Another set and we can hit the showers!


      20.) Never talk to a Man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.


      21.) Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.


      22.) The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.


      23.) There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.


      24.) When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.


      25.) You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call 'BULLSHIT!'.
      Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent.


      26.) The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.


      27.) Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.


      28.) Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.


      29.) The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.


      30.) A Man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.


      31.) When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.


      32.) If a buddy is out-numbered, out-Manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight.
      Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin.", then you may sit back and enjoy.


      33.) If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.


      34.) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.


      35.) When a buddy is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either.


      36.) Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "FUCK OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.


      37.) Never, EVER slap or smack another Man.


      Argument with these rules instantly revokes your identity as a man. You’re no longer a man and you’re out of the man club.

    • CONDOM PROMOTIONS!!

      13 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      Ok, sorry i havent posted in awhile...but ive been busy. not too busy for those of you who actually read this crap...but whatever. so here's somehting i though was pretty halarious. i thought i heard most of these...but hahah. funny shit.

      Condom Promotions

      >cover your stump before you hump.
      >Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.
      >Don't be silly, protect your willy.
      >When in doubt, shroud your spout.
      >Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
      >You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
      >If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
      >If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
      >If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
      >She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
      >If you go into heat, package your meat.
      >Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
      >Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
      >The right selection! Protect your erection.
      >Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.
      >If you really love her, wear a cover.
      >Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.
      >Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
      >Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
      >If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
      >No glove, No love.
      >Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.
      >AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke

      -you guys know what im talking about. so make sure you're protected. dont be a dick.

    • I Will Survive...

      14 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      So in my last journal i told you all about how i adminitered that good old fasioned can of whoop ass on those poor souls that played against me. this was the game in case you missed it.

      view this can of whoop ass

      Everyone said it was a great game. i had lots of kills. the only problem they had was my deaths. so i decided to fix that a little and focus more on not dying rather than killing shit loads of people. Here was the end result.

      Survival of the fittest

      yeah that game was all about patience and waiting. i didnt look for anyone. i just chilled in the rocks where the overshield is with the rockets and a BR. notice that i dont have ANY sniper medals. i didnt have the sniper the entire game. yet....i survived. yeah. im sweet.

    • Uh...Yeah. They Got Pwn3d

      14 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      Wow...i played this game last night. and if you can even believe it...I was wasted. I need to play drunk more often. I'm Xx 9 Breaker xX -- mind you that the guy in last quit 3 seconds into the game. and the other guy quit when we were losing 12 - 7. so it was me and blood pheonix 7 pretty much the whole game.

      Halo 2 stats

    • ASS-CONS!

      14 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively. Well, how about some "ass-cons"? Here goes:

      (_!_) a regular ass

      (__!__) a fat ass

      (!) a tight ass

      (_._) a flat ass

      (_^_) a bubble ass

      (_*_) a sore ass

      (_!__) a lop-sided ass

      {_!_} a swishy ass

      (_o_) an ass that's been around

      (_O_) an ass that's been around even more

      (_x_) kiss my ass

      (_X_) leave my ass alone

      (_zzz_) a tired ass

      (_o^o_) a wise ass

      (_13_) an unlucky ass

      (_$_) Money coming out of his ass

      (_?_) Dumb Ass

    • 5 Questions Most Feared by Men

      14 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      This seems right to me, male or female respond back if u have a comment...

      The 5 Questions Most Feared by Men

      1. What are you thinking about?
      2. Do you love me?
      3. Do I look fat in this?
      4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
      5. What would you do if I died?


      What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

      Question .. 1: What are you thinking about?
      The proper answer to this, of course, is: " I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. Football. b. Golf. c. How fat you are. d. How much prettier she is than you e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
      Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"

      Question .. 2: Do you love me?
      The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
      Inappropriate responses include: a. Oh Yeah, sh@*-loads. b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love. d. Does it matter? e. Who, me?

      Question .. 3: Do I look fat?
      The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
      Incorrect answers are: a. Compared to what? b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin. c. A little extra weight looks good on you. d. I've seen fatter. e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

      Question .. 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
      Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: a. Yes, but you have a better personality b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age d. Define pretty e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

      Question .. 5: What would you do if I died?
      A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
      WOMAN: Would you get married again? MAN: Definitely not! WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married? MAN: Of course I do. WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry? MAN: Okay, I'd get married again. WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) MAN: (makes audible groan) WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed? MAN: Where else would we sleep? WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs? MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed. WOMAN: - - - silence - - - MAN: Sh&%.

    • Top 10 Ways To Freak Out Your Roommate

      14 years ago

      ToneDizzle05

      10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''

      9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

      8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''

      7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''

      6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

      5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

      4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

      3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

      2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''

      1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.

    • What Women Say & What They Really Mean..

      14 years ago

      ToneDizzle05



      CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
      There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

      I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
      ... without you in it.

      DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
      We haven't had a fight in a while.

      NO, PIZZA'S FINE.
      ... you cheap slob!

      I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
      I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.

      I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
      I can't believe you have nothing planned.

      COME HERE.
      My puppy does this, too.

      I LIKE YOU, BUT...
      I don't like you.

      OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
      ... just not in that way.

      YOU NEVER LISTEN.
      You never listen.

      WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
      I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

      I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
      I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.

      OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
      I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.

      OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
      Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.

      I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
      We're gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends

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