Unholy_Crab1

Male
from Britannia.

  • Activity

    • Still Alive

      5 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1

      -Lost a ton of weight. Didn't realize how fat I was till it started flying off.
      -Also started working out. Less progress on that, but fuck it progress is progress.
      -Discovered I actually love big breasts. The single life has been good to me.
      -Thinking of joining the military, am on the fence about it. Either gonna go to college or a recruiting station when I turn 22.

      Maybe I'll post again before then. Maybe not.

      ALSO: League of Legends is fucking addictive. Like heroine except you don't get a high, just withdrawal when you don't buy skins.

    • An End

      6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1

      If you've read Olivia's journal, you'll know that we've broken up. You'll also believe that this was a gradual thing, and something we both consented to. You'd be slightly surprised to learn that she has essentially not talked to me in weeks after claiming that her mother was beating her and not allowing her to, and that I only found out that she'd broken up with me and hooked up with someone she only recently met via her journal I read tonight, but hey.

      In truth, when I first started my account here, I didn't feel anything. I had no friends, no interest in having friends, and absolutely no interest in romantic relations. I was happy, though. I thrived in loneliness, being around people did nothing but irritate me. So, this account was an experiment. A way to see just what human interaction was like.

      Started out slow. I had no idea how to talk to people (I still have little), so I made little advancement. And then I met Olivia.

      In truth, most of my personality was shaped by her. Through her I learned of compassion, social interaction, companionship, etc. etc. Horribly cliche I know. In truth, I was a good person. Hell, I was one of the most good-natured people on this planet.

      Notice the past tense. Seeing Olivia act like, well, like a normal human, showed me that everything I have ever felt or discovered these last four years was false.

      Helping people is pointless, I should only look out for myself.

      Friendship is overrated, there's little reason to connect with those who will stab you in the back in a heartbeat if it suites them.

      In truth, being alone is good. I was truly happy when I didn't have anyone. I didn't shed single tear when I read Olivia's journal, for she showed me that my original point of view was right. Her actions make perfect sense, after all, things like loyalty and respect are transient concepts used by con-men.

      With that said, I'm leaving RVB. Not deleting my profile (I do hate throwing things away), but don't expect to really hear anything else from me. But before I go, I think I should post a few parting comments for some people:

      Redunit, I'll confess that there was a time when I thought it possible that you planned on killing us and wearing our skins. Take comfort, though, that I always thought of you as a pleasant conversationalist.

      ConanEdogawa, get laid. Seriously. I don't care if you can't get any girls to like you, save up $20 and get a hooker.

      Dashou, I rather regret not really speaking to you at all, despite having known you for forever. I suppose all I can say is that I enjoy your artwork, and to keep it up. Don't doubt yourself, you truly have a gift.

      BOZ2000, despite having read your journals I still know next to nothing about you.

      MackG64, you started ignoring me weeks and weeks ago, so I have no idea what to say to you.

      Snaaaake, you are more whiny than a liberal, and your anti-American views were truly hilarious to read. I suppose you might become more interesting in a few years when your balls drop, but I dearly regret every word I have ever typed because of you.

      Katerater, you seemed interesting, but much of it was tainted by the aforementioned Snaaaake. Also, I am well aware that the two of you were trying to convince Olivia to break up with me and hook up with the aforementioned MackG64 (what a tweest!) all while masquerading as my friend, but believe me, I have no negative feelings for you. Truly, you have behaved as a rather exemplar member of the human species (Snaaaake, I am afraid that you are what we refer to as an "evolutionary dead end"). The reason I never confronted you or blocked you is that I hoped that by behaving civilly to you, that someday you might realize that you were wrong about me.

      HGamer, you are one of the few people I will regret not speaking to. Even in these last few days with Olivia and just about everyone else going out of there way to ignore me, you were always on Skype to talk to me about Dark Souls.

      Olivia, you have sent me numerous pictures. None too revealing (perhaps you were planning for this day years in advance), but some that I'm certain you would not wish winding up on, say, /b/. Do not fret. The thought originally crossed my mind, but unlike you, I have at least a shred of honor. Everything related to you shall be deleted, all physical objects will be incinerated. Shortly, there will be no evidence that you ever existed.

      For those not mentioned, take heart. The only reason that you weren't mentioned is that I don't feel like typing out a few sentences to everyone I have ever interacted with.

      And on that note, bon voyage. I'd say that it's been a pleasure, but, well, that would be a rather poor lie.

    • Happy New Years Y'all

      6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1

      No resolutions this time. I just spent the whole day contemplating life. Whether anything we ever do is even important, or if it's all just a pointless waste of time. I mean, the sun's gonna burn out in a few billion years or so, nobody will be left alive to remember you. Nothing you create will ever last the passage of time. Eventually, we'll all be forgotten, all of our marks on the world wasted away.

      Cheers.

      KCKaH.jpg?t=1357016270

    • Dragon's Dogma Ending

      6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1

      Let me try to explain how the ending feels with a metaphor.

      You get thirsty, so you decide to take a walk to Speedway to grab a soda. It's the middle of the night, but it's a rather safe part of town, so you're not worried.

      Then, when you're halfway there, the Plot leaps out of a dark alleyway and punches you in the face. You are so surprised that you are completely unable to defend yourself, and fall flat on your back.

      But it doesn't end there. The Plot then grabs a rusty pipe (about four feet long), and proceeds to mercilessly beat you with it. Face, stomach, legs, no part of your body is spared. You're in so much pain that you can't defend yourself at all, the only thing you can do is curl up in the fetal position.

      The Plot throws the pipe to the ground, steals your wallet, then walks away.

      The worst is yet to come, however. As you're laying there, covered in bruises and dried blood, sobbing to yourself softly, you start to get it. You understand why the Plot just beat the Jesus out of you. All of the Plot's actions make sense.

      Then, you find yourself THANKING the Plot. Thanking the Plot for the wonderful beating that you just received. For explaining itself with every strike of that pipe.

      Laying there, on the dirty pavement, barely conscious, you FINALLY get the ending of Dragon's Dogma.

      GRIGORI.jpg

    • 6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1
    • 6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1
    • Explain Yourself, Dragon's Dogma

      6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1

      -Plying Dragon's Dogma (durrrr)
      -I have to liberate a fort from Goblins
      -Entire fort is infested with Goblins, Hobgoblins, and Cyclops's
      -Cyclops's
      -Note the plural, it's important
      -Blitzing through with my pawns, shooting Goblins in their ugly faces, tearing armor off of Cyclops's
      -Finally, we gloriously rid the fort of the Goblin infestation
      -Go to report back to Maximillian
      -"HEY MAXY, I FINISHED THAT QUEST OF YOURS!"
      -". . . Who are you?"
      -"Hahaha, you funny dude, you funny."
      -"I'm sorry, but I've never seen you before in my life."
      -"Bu- But what? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO WIN THIS FORT."
      -"I'm sorry random citizen, but I cannot talk with those without a Wyrm-Hunt license"
      -Run for 10 minutes back to inn, retrieve my license, run for 10 minutes back to Maximillian
      -"AH, MAH BOI ARISEN, RETURNED VICTORIOUS I SEE"
      -mfw

      3694991_o.gif

    • Dream I Had

      6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1

      Started out with myself and a small group of people getting Asian food. At the time I wasn't able to focus on any of these people, but they become important later. There was something wrong with the restaurant so we didn't get our food till late. I went to drive to work but I was lost, so I kept just driving around and freaking out thinking I was going to be late for work (in dreams you NEVER find what you were looking for).

      Then I'm suddenly on a train with the same people. The only two I remember: There was a girl with me (never seen her before) with black hair in a pony-tail, and the guy conducting the train was this muscular old guy dressed in regal robes with a bearskin around his shoulders. There were 2-3 other people on the train but I never interacted with them.

      All was going well until we arrived in a long tunnel (this is where the dream starts turning into a nightmare). There were these three mice stacked on top of each other (brown/white/gray), the old guy suddenly turned and shot the middle mouse. Then we looked up.

      The tunnel extended FAR above us, and all around us was rafters and beams and wooden walkways (remember we're still riding a train). On every beam were these creatures whom I can't quite describe. Like, they were body parts, but not quite.

      The old guy suddenly mutated and started killing off creatures by the dozen. One of the creatures jumped on the train, it looked like a pair of legs, but they were jointed oddly, and there was a segment of back attached. Thin tentacles rushed out of the wounds and grabbed onto me, and started pulling me towards it. I was able to keep from getting yanked at it, but the creature was surprisingly strong and was gradually weakening me. Then, the girl I mentioned earlier leaps out and axe-kicks the creature, making it let go of me and fall off the train. I'm not sure what would've happened if the creature grabbed onto me, but I doubt it would be pretty.

      So yeah, then I woke up. You know, this dream would've been a nightmare if not for this nameless girl.

      I hope I get her in my next monster-dream, that's the first time I've been saved by anybody.

    • 6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1
    • 6 years ago

      Unholy_Crab1
  • Comments (17769)

    • sesshomaru55

      5 years ago

      Bitch!

    • HOWtwoROCK

      5 years ago

      I wonder if he'll come back

    • sesshomaru55

      6 years ago

      HOW DARE YOU SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BERNKASTEL
      SHE IS PERFECT YOU'RE JUST A FUCK HEAD LOSER

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Ah, good good. Worried something might have happened to her, although now that I think about it you would protect her from anything anyways; silly me.

      Post edited 12/30/12 6:24PM

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Is Bern ok? I haven't see any posts by her in forever.

    • Kratos1

      6 years ago

      You probably heard already, but shingeki no kyojin is getting an anime in april and the trailer looks good

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKzmOh4SuBc

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      They need to make a Dragon Age turn based game, call it Dragon Age: Colosseum. You can import one of your characters from DAO or DA2, or begin as a new character. You can create a team, select from various races and genders, buy them armor and weapons, stock up on potions and poisons, and then battle in the arena against other foes.

      You can go online and fight other players, or play the campaign with your team. Level your team, manage your tactics, and if your not already in a romance you can romance any of your teammates for bonuses in their stats.

      Post edited 11/15/12 9:06PM

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Well don't gloat all at once, you might bring that back luck back.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      I'm breezing through my now, act 2 is pretty laid back and once I complete all these side quests tomorrow I'll move onto main missions by saturday. You count your DPS? All I focus on is killing enemies and avoiding dying.

      I'm-a go all Justice on your ass.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      I just got a quest I have never had in DA2 called "Fool's Gold", apparently because I haven't play DAO: Awakening my save file counts Nathaniel Howe as dead and so I wont get the quest to find him in the third act. (As Isabella would say: "Balls.")

      I want multiplayer in DA3, so I can fight you with mages and kick your Qunari loving butt.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Yeah well, he does that no matter what you do. If you recall back to when mother was taken and killed, that necrophilia guy had a note on him from an "O" well that "O" is Orsino. Same for Meredith going bonkers, can't stop her no matter how you play the game.

      Oh yeah, you had to kill Anders in the end too, didn't you. There goes your healer.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Now your giving me your bad luck. I just had my female mage (Fiona), Varric, and Anders all die on the Wounded Coast by Evetts Muraders. Keep your bad luck to yourself thank you.

      You mean 2? Mass Effect ends on 3.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Bad luck on you, I always take out AHs and RVs when I spot them ASAP.

      You know, I've been thinking about if the Maker returns in DA3, what if it turned out the maker was Commander Shepard. The world you live on is the planet the Normandy crash landed on, magic is really just modified biotic powers. An EA controlled BioWare might do something like that.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Kind of like how in DAO I would leave Fade Shroud on and it turned me see through; kissing scenes were. . . disturbing.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      I use to have Varric kill him, but now I think Anders curing him his better if only just for a while.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Yeah, all he gets is a corrupt lyrium idol and a song stuck in his head.

      Speaking of him, what do you usually do with the guy when you confront him? Let him live, kill him, or have Anders cure him temporarily?

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      In the words of Varric:

      I suppose it doesn't matter. Look at what it was guarding!
    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Ah, well I guess its just bad luck on your end. Better ask Bern to bless your 360 or something.

      You know the "ERRRRRRR- Vvmmmmmmmmm"

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Might be something wrong with your hard drive, I almost never save and use Auto Saves to fix any mistakes I make.

      This entire play through I have not lost a single ally to the enemy, so thus past the deep roads venture I haven't died once. Closest I came so far was the Talva'shoth cave battle when the Serabas shows up with lightning balls of furry, I've discovered even the Rock Wraith goes down after one round of red explosion. What a chump.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      I never had corrupt save files, none of the enemies I face are overpowered, and I think the AI from DAO was worse.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      "You could never be a dragon."

      Meh, DA2 changed my opinions on the DA series. It did a lot of things right, especially in regards to combat speed.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Yeah but you listen to Morrigan she says her mother is not really like that, and its all an act.

      I personally don't care she is as built as Hawk's mother, or that she is much more plotting then she was before.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Why? Because she was old looking? She was nutty? I like to think that her appearance in DAO is just a ruse, had she looked like she does now back then she would have seemed much more "obviously" up to no good.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      He also talks about a "Old Lady whose laugh is scary" I think he's talking about Flemeth.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Yep, even Bodahn is shocked by this and comments on what he is talking about.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      No, I mean he will suddenly change his tone and start speaking long sentences. Just recently I talked to him and he said something about how "One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide."

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Have you ever noticed that Sandal says some odd things every now and then when you talk to him?

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Oh and if you pre-order DA3, you get the exclusive Back to the Future DLC where you get the Blood Dragon Armor, Shepard's Omi-Weapon (changes between Long Sword, Two Handed Sword, or Staff depending on class), and the Normandy Shield. (a piece of the Normandy shaped into a shield)

      Order today!

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Suddenly, playing as Qunari MC, come across Sten in your play through. "I have only ever met another as honorable as you, he/ she was know as Warden."

      Oh oh! You beat the game, end conversations are happening, Qunari shows up and says "Due to your achievements, many females have asked to mate with you."

      Oh the possibilities of playing as a Qunari.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      You make me wonder, do you think they will stick to a human character or allow for multiple race- oh my god. . . Qunari MC. O.O Yes.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Decided not to do Awakening for every Origin I did, my thoughts are like this:

      Three of my Origins (Mage, Dalish, Dwarf) all tell the queen they plan on traveling, thus they leave with their respective love partners. Dalish went with Lilly, Dwarf with Zevern, and my Mage scouted after Morrigan. Since Awakening begins almost right after the end of the last game, they would not have been around to be the Warden Commander in the first place.

      However my forth Origin (Female Noble) married Alistair so she sticks around, thus there is a chance she would have become the Warden Commander. Though I'm still not even sure about this, since she would be the queen and was more interested in spending time with Alistair then about the Grey Wardens.

      Hmm, now that I think about it; maybe I should just transfer over now and forget this Warden Commander business. I can always come back to it if it affects Dragon Age 3 somehow, I won't delete my characters like last time. Yeah. . . yeah ok, I'm going to do that.

      Post edited 11/04/12 1:32PM

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Well I'm finally done with my four Origins, time to begin the Awakening Expansion for all of them. Nearly done with this.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      I didn't like it when you killed one and there were three more around, one explodes, kills the others, who also explode and kills your team.

      It would have been funny if durning one of their many arguments, Hawk could say "Would you two just fuck already!" or break up the argument by hitting on one or the other "Meredith, did anyone ever tell you your beautiful when your angry?"

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Got to say, Abominations are pansies; they are so easy to kill in DA2 and they don't even explode anymore! Even Shades are more annoying then Abominations.

      Speaking of Meredith, is it just me or is she pretty sexy before her whole "demon form active".

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Oh I agree, I'm not saying I want an ogre girl because I like being punched by women or anything. But after so many Bards and Assassins and Pirates, I want me a Meredith type of gal. (just a bit less crazy about mages)

      Btw Meredith on mages > Loghain on Orlais

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Yeah, none of the females I can see in the concept art look "strong". Agile and smart maybe, but not "mating time start now!"

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Ah yes, I agree with that. Sadly no female Qunari or Dwarf.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      What do you mean?

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Gimme a second, and here is the link.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      They leaked concept art for the companions and said there will be ten to choose from.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Oh! Maybe you can recruit the Empress. :D

      Did you hear the news on the next game btw? About the companions.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Yeah, I feel its more personal then that.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Boo Hoo, whats past is past and the now should not be brought down by it. Holding grudges and acting selfish only hurts a peoples, but then again, that is the nature of men.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Female Pride Demon? *tilts head*

      He is still overly concern with Orlais I say, but I guess he is over it enough to go there as a Grey Warden.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Maybe a Spirit then? We've had Justice and Faith already, so how about Compassion or Duty.

      Also, you convinced me, I am allowing three of my four Loghains to live. He not that bad a dude now that I got to talk to him, I'm just glad I hardened Alistair and married him to Anora so he wouldn't drink himself into oblivion. I'm also making Loghain bone Morrigan so he lives past the Arch Demon, figured having him around is better then not.

      I'm only 2/4 Origins complete now, two more to finish up (right near the end of both) and then I load them into the Awakening DLC.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      By the Maker. . .

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      I just figured out a way to not sleep with morrigan, have my warden survive, recruit Loghain, and have Alistair as king with Anora. I'm totally doing that for my three Origins besides my Noble Female.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Who do you normally put up as king in Orzamar?

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Thats my male mage yes, he's also a Spiritual Healer.

      My female Warrior is a Champion x Templar.

      My female Dwarf is a Duelist x Assassin.

      And my male Dalish is a Ranger x Bard.

    • iMacOfDeath

      6 years ago

      Not even using Blood Magic.

  • Questions

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