Vinny_Bagels

Male
from Yuma, AZ

  • Activity

    • It's about the Chuck...

      13 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels

      Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

      When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
      because he has run out of women.

      Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris
      can kill him and take it.

      Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the
      speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was
      flying over the Pacific Ocean.

      Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
      information he wants.

      If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
      till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the
      face.

      Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

      Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
      to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

      Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
      removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse
      kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

      Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

      Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths
      have increased 13,000 percent.

      Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
      unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
      finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
      back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
      should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
      the month.

      Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
      stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
      Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered,
      Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the
      crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

      Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
      chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
      IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his
      girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with
      Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this
      statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of
      the blast went deaf.

      Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

      Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
      assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
      deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

      Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

      Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
      "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
      of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
      Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
      kick related deaths.

      To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15
      cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
      cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
      Lance Armstrong.

      There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

      Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

      Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

      There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

      Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school
      football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to
      let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused
      kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang
      every girl in the stadium.

      The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
      Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
      starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
      drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
      much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

      The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

      Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
      names for his left and right legs.

      When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera
      or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
      wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He
      always makes it to Oregon before you.

      It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate,
      but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to
      him. Pirates never were very smart.

      Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
      We know this beverage as Red Bull.

    • Good music stuff!

      14 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels

      Fighting Chance

      If you like good acoustic sounds, then this is something everyone should listen too!

    • Favorite Tattoo Shop EVER!!!!

      14 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels

      Guru Tattoo

      Check out my boy Turk's work. You can see my finished back piece there.

    • Ever wonder what that meant?! Part 1

      14 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels

      Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the
      extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men:

      1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit in her mouth. (Similar to the Cleveland Steamer which is the same thing except the shit is on her chest)

      2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

      3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.

      4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

      5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

      6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)

      7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

      8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

      9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

      10. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

      11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

      12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

      13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

      14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

      15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

      16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

      17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.

    • This weekend...

      14 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels

      So this weekend a really good friend of mine is bringing his brother and around 10 other guys to come down so we can all chill on the river and have mad amounts of drunken debaucheries (sp?), and good times on silicone island...Hopefully this time I won't get so GD drunk that I wear my board shorts about halfway down my ass, and start power walking the island, end up puking, and finally passout...Yeah...I think I'll take 'er a little more easy this time around.

    • Moving sucks...

      14 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels

      So I'm back in Arizona, and it's chill I guess...The only problem is that nothing has changed! Nothing but me that is...Everyone is still with the same problems, my boy is still on and off with the same girlfriend, and everyone thinks that the Jack 'N the Crack parking lot is still a great place to hang out and Applebees is the best resturaunt ever! DUDE...APPLEBEES!!! I mean yeah they have half off appetizers, but that's by no means a reason to have to go there 2 times a week! Good Lord! The only thing that keeps me sane is my X-Box, and the fact that my tenants will be out of my townhouse by the end of the month...Finally my own place again. I'm think'n that I should go to Vegas pretty soon...Yup...I should go.

    • 2019 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels
    • 2019 years ago

      Vinny_Bagels
  • About Me

  • Comments (43)

    • camboy45

      12 years ago

      Yuma, eh?

    • amber

      12 years ago

      haha i was just thinking the same thing!

    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      Whats up Senor Bagels

    • amber

      13 years ago

      note to vinny - the fact that my boobs are huge...make my boobs look HUGE. ;)

    • kicking_pige

      13 years ago

      ahh ok fair enough!

    • kicking_pige

      13 years ago

      but im confused... knee highs??

    • kicking_pige

      13 years ago

      hehe thanx :D

    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      it ws cancelled

    • kicking_pige

      13 years ago

      lol.. sic i s that meant to be a compliment?

    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      Im seeing the demented are go on thursday

    • amber

      13 years ago

      for a second there...i really thought you were in australia.
      way to go breaking my heart.
      i thought we were close.

    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      Yup we are frijoleros

    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      I love the History Channel

    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      Go buddy Go buddy go buddy go buddy go go!!

    • amber

      13 years ago

      depends mister...what's my hourly rate gonna be, and what kind of job IS it??
      (cause y'know, i'd have to take into consideration whether moving to the states for said job, would be worthwhile!!)
      smiley12.gif

    • klurejr

      13 years ago

      Odd Job, yes... yes indeed smiley11.gif

    • klurejr

      13 years ago

      Since when do I need your permission to go to the mo club?


      oh yeah, there is a really hot blonde with curly hair working their now.... mmmmmmm!


    • nevfinffvii

      13 years ago

      You know what i think " I think your Billy might be dead "

    • Tsunade

      13 years ago

      I was a dj for about 2 years, it got old real fast XD Thanks for listening to my set :D

    • egon55

      13 years ago

      Thanks, I'm proud of my collection. I'm planing on posting more of them if I can get a buddy to help take the shots.

    • klurejr

      13 years ago

      you are a homosexual.

    • klurejr

      13 years ago

      because you need to be reminder of this everyday.



      Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

    • adrcrc

      13 years ago

      Thanks i like it too!

    • Frazzer

      13 years ago

      You're cool.......here's proof

      *hands you a COOKIE*

    • klurejr

      14 years ago

      The white line is gone now....

    • klurejr

      14 years ago

      Scotch, Scotch, Scotch oh I love Scotch.

      Here it goes down, down into my belly.



      (i just bought that movie, classic)

    • klurejr

      14 years ago

      Yes, lets go kick some Stupid peoples Drunk Skinny Arses!


      River Party, Less than 2 weeks away.............

      w00t!

    • klurejr

      14 years ago

      So, are you ever going to come back online in the redVSblue world??????

      oh yeah, when you getting internet so i can school you at halo 2?

    • debaser

      14 years ago

      Nice avatar Johnny cash is the man. Actually some nice music choices on your list, eclectic that's good. You just reminded me as well to put Better off dead, Grosse point blank, and High fidelity on my movie list, Cusack is great.

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      Bro update your journal you've been movin for like two weeks now.

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      That totally looks like my kind of crowd. Thanx bro. I gotta bail later man

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      The Fam moved here so I ended up here to be close. I just need to get back to a real city. I did the PHX thing so now I want SD beaches and babes you can't go wrong

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      I got some rage mail from some little kids sayin I'm old fashion But the the stupid little fuckers didn't even -1 mod me. I got bit above the right kidney and right hand by a wolf hybrid

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      Got bitten twice and may have pissed a few people off with my journal

    • Joni3Nyo

      14 years ago

      what do you mean ¿ "You know you use Al Green as a front. " o.o

    • Joni3Nyo

      14 years ago

      OMG nooo!, not that kind of romantic music... I cant stand that guy... I like english romantic music.. like oldies and rock ballads, and in spanish.. franco de vita, jose jose... but not luis miguel (eww) hahah

    • Joni3Nyo

      14 years ago

      yeah, it looks like a flat big sope with fijoles, its really good...
      I like groups like R.E.M, Live, radiohead... and uhm romantic music hahaha

    • Joni3Nyo

      14 years ago

      well.... hehehe I dont like Cafe Tacuba and Los Prisioneros.... La Ley uhm ...kinda, but nah is not like I want to go see them.. when I go to las fiestas del sol its just to go eat some "huaraches"

    • Joni3Nyo

      14 years ago

      they are still here, but it sucks... i dont like this years fiestas del sol.., no good artist... well at least the foor is good :p

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      If you get a chance check out Big Fish Pub , Mings , or Gibsons. BFP is a little place but it always rocks

    • Bloodtrix

      14 years ago

      The scene in Phx is good. My friends band Speed 63 plays alot all over the place. Dude my Fed Ex chick is hot. What was I saying. I lived in Phx for 5 years if you need to know some places to go just let me know

    • unico

      14 years ago

      FAke make out??? I'm confused....so your telling peoples to add me cause i'm just soooo spastic and dirty.....what??? i need a hug...

    • klurejr

      14 years ago

      Vinny Bagels is a kool cat...

      too bad he lives in a dumpy town.
      OMG

  • Questions

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