WSM FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

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from Phoenix, AZ

  • Activity

    • Looky what I made

      4 years ago


      As a community of young, motivated go getters and/or older still trying to maintain the glory of their youth coolness and/or are just very anti-kids in a Gus sorta way you should all appreciate this:

      Felix Jacob Mitchell


      And for the record I was indeed worried he might not be cute, as I refused to be a parent that subjected other people to pictures of my kid and gushed over them when they aren't actually cute, but alas he made it very easy to avoid that... or else that whole "its different when its yours makes you insanely blind and biased... opinions welcomed ;-)

    • Alpha and Omega, and other such dramatic titles.

      4 years ago


      So the last 7 days have been uber bizarre, but in an altogether new and fascinating way.

      First week of classes went by as about as apathetically as one would expect. My new clinical rotation last Friday was saw every possible permutation of activity come to be in that it was at times entirely not busy and bordering on awkward to stand there and not do anything, to suddenly very busy with patients backing up and me being 'just a student' in that I could only do the very basic of things, or rather that's what I am allowed to do according to boring rules and procedures.

      Anyway, despite feeling a bit impotent as far as helping, I had some very interesting and wonderful talks with very, VERY sick people, who had amazing attitudes and outlooks, especially the few that were not ambulatory or.. just not doing well at all. It was incredibly moving to see people be strong in the most literal of day-to-day activities where no one is certainly expecting them to exhibit such fortitude or simply be so forth coming while also being so damned nice given their situations.

      It was both inspiring and motivating as it was my greatest worry to be around people with these types of serious conditions and having their situations cause them to be understandably angry or unwilling to be nice or even cooperative, but what I experienced was the total opposite; however I know those experiences will come inevitably in the future, the first day was amazing in almost every way which I very much needed!

      On the total flip side, in my life, we made our first visits to day cares and preschools to check them out as well as went to our first "birthing" class, which was not a total waste of time which again was a nice surprise. While the lady teaching the class at first appeared to be a salty old "bitty", she turned out to be the ultimate manifestation of every "cool" swearing gramma in every other Adam Sandler movie, without feeling lame and forced.

      We finished up the nursery and organized where everything will go once the room is actually occupied, which is a huge relief, but there's literally no time to enjoy the accomplishment as there is a mountain of shit to do and about zero energy desire or time to do it, but that's pretty much everyone's life nowadays so no need to cry about it lol.

      SO yea, that's my weird place in life right now where I realize I am in the middle of suddenly having to deal with horrible scary life ending types of things, while also suddenly dealing with all the life beginning type things, life is a really weird trip sometimes I guess.

    • I have forgotten how to "video game"

      4 years ago


      Not quite sure how to articulate it, but I seem to quite literally lost the ability to sit down and play video games...

      Not sure if its because I have had so much crazy stuff going on, or if I suddenly turned into an old fart, but I can't figure it out.

      Here's the scenario, I pull myself from watching or reading something online, remember I have all sorts of xbox 360 AND xbox one titles still in the plastic, or games I have really enjoyed for all of 2 or 3 hours and get excited to go do that for all of 5 seconds... then I instantly convince myself it will be either a waste of time because I will probably suck or get stuck in my terrible bad habits (like hoarding and/or home decorating/organizing in Skyrim, rather than killing frickin' dragons) OR I tell myself the game will suck to play alone, as most online friends don't play that game or live in a different time zone and have other crap going on...

      So I sit there debating for 10-20 minutes, until I eventually turn back to the computer or just go do some chore or errand I've put off for a week... And god forbid I actually pick a game, wait for its inevitable update, I play for a short time and ultimately realize my self-fulfilled prophecy of being disappointed or waste time doing insignificant and annoying things rather than doing fun stuff...

      Not sure what the problem is, but I haven't had a wonderfully satisfying, brain meltingly good 6-8 hour, no pee break, gaming session since GTA V first came out on 360, and I sadly wish I could regain that ability despite the giant levels of responsibility I have nowadays!!!



    • Well that was a quick 6 months...

      4 years ago


      Alright, so past attempts at interesting journal entries ended up being un-entertaining crap, so lets try again this year eh?

      Last thing I babbled about was simply getting into the Nuc. Med. program and all the crap that went into it, but after an exhausting and frankly frustrating few months in the actual program, I came out with decent grades and a whole heaping of perfect hindsight and hey I get to wear scrubs & lab coats as well as play with Geiger counters & inject classmates so it was worth it. Oh and I got to meet a few really amazing people which make sit all okay, plus I'll just say not many things can live up to 4 years of hype while on a wait-list as your mind builds stuff up in anticipation.

      Next and I suppose more importantly (lol) between last RTX and journal entries and now me and the wife did the whole procreation thing and some time in late March and early April-ish I'll be having a son... so there's that =)

      I know its super crazy and exciting, as well as entirely life changing, but yea I'll say there is much realignment happening in my brain with my odd, and by no means terrible... but odd, childhood and family its a constant hard gear change from wow this is gonna be exciting and I'm gonna make life awesome for someone to HOLY SHIT I AM GOING TO SUCK SO HARD AT THIS, THIS KID IS FUCKED!

      And then I for some reason I remember Mitch Hedberg's joke about his favorite cigar brand: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRvZZB6pQjc0Z4skZjOdcs
      and then everything is cool... which is nice because I used to love quoting his "I don't have a girlfriend" joke but after getting married it apparently becomes unconscionable to swap out the word girlfriend with wife and try it... Like I'm the weirdo right?

      Heh, so yea life is getting all grown up and serious, but still fun and full of possibilities which is a nice change from focusing on the daily or weekly grind with only various school, events, volunteer stuff, conventions or just vacations as the only things to look forward to, mind you all of the above are awesome, but its nice to have a change in outlook that doesn't happen due to terrible and/or depressing things you know?

      As they say life moves on with or without you and I think I've learned to keep up pretty well as of late, and I'll just ignore the incredible uptick in difficulty that is fast approaching, and by ignore I mean I'm going just gonna keep focused on whats in front of me and roll with it ragdoll style, rather than look ahead freeze up and break into a million frickin' pieces, 'cause F that noise I got shit to do!

      Hmm, I guess after that talking about diving head first into tabletop board games as a hobby or looking forward to my up coming clinical work this Spring seems oddly less important and self involved, so yea I'll call that a start to to 2015 journals and hope anyone that reads this is also in the midst of a good time in their lives as well, or if not, just keep churning you're way through the bullshit obstacles life throws your way as I can definitely attest to having years and years of feeling like pretty much everything sucked, there was always little hope for improvement (either in myself or the world, or both) and no matter what I did I would find myself starting from square one somehow less well off for some reason...

      That said really only got through it by just continually telling myself if I was a good person eventually good things will happen, and while I don't have an amazing Forrest Gump like story to explain when or how anything turned around, I just know I always tried to make good decisions for myself and learned to draw a line when it came to negative or frankly dumb/immature/awful people. After doing this I found that when I cut their bullshit out of my life, things became far easier to manage, even when this meant leaving a girlfriend, quitting a job, or literally cutting a friend or family member that was pulling me down into their messes when I was working so hard to keep myself clean... besides I literally have the power to make new family now so I double win... or something...

      Okay, awkward tangent aside here's to a better 2015 for all!

    • 4 years ago

    • 4 years ago

    • Guardian playtime

      4 years ago


      Its all fun and games until someone loses a fish; i.e.

    • Packing is balls!

      4 years ago


      RTX had better be the anti-balls funfest/screaming orgasm for my sensory organs I expect it to or else!!!...

      Meh, I'll just have to be happy experiencing Texas bbq, which had also better be the most spectaculous drippy mouth banging bbq ever or else!!!...

      I guess the bat bridge place, thing might make the trip worth while... I dunno... I just really hate packing is all...

      Guardians HHOOOOOOOO!

    • Going Nuclear Part 1

      5 years ago


      First, I gotta frame this right, about... About 5 years ago I decided to take classes at one of Phoenix's (or really Maricopa County's) Community college, seeing as how the Broadcast Communications AAS I got in 2001 has been utterly useless since quitting as an editor @ a Fox News station, frickin' ambulance chasing gore mongers...

      I know community college right? Such big aspirations, but I figured it wouldn't hurt anything if I got a business related Associates to finally get a promotion I applied to, despite hating my job, company and most of the people in it (I'm sure I sound like an A-hole, but it was quite the cluster of cliche office politic junkies and fake people pretending to know stuff, all of which instantly turn on people who do know things and try to stay out of the politics).

      So tangents aside, I registered for classes and a year later I had a 4.0 GPA despite maxing out all semesters, including Summer & Winter and was in line to get 2 AAS degrees. Actually I found a fascinating loophole within the Maricopa county system that allows anyone who takes 6 credit hours; i.e. 2 classes at a given community college (which here in phoenix is only about 30-40 minutes away from one another on average) can earn a degree from that college IN ADDITION to other Maracopa colleges.

      No I don't need the SAME degree from multiple colleges, but after lots of research I learned that most schools I was taking classes at had a number of similar, yet totally different degrees which I could now get thanks to this wonderful policy. Even though some of them are silly sounding, such as my AAS in Customer Service Quality from Rio Salado CC, or my AAS in Business Leadership from Scottsdale CC, but the short story is for the same price I got a total of 6 degrees from 4 schools that offered unique classes or were frankly a shorter drive in route to get my desired Business Management AAS.

      Feeling great about a) not sucking and b) having proof in paper that I was better than the moron co-workers I was competing against for better jobs, boom my department is gutted and I am without any job... Yea it sucked to not bring an income into the house, but I felt GREAT not having to deal with the people and the very crappy parts of the job itself.

      Now, weeks away from getting these degrees I felt great about the job hunt, when I suddenly learned that my little community college was one of only like a dozen fully accredited schools in the country for something called Nuclear Medicine Technology... Nuclear huh, that's a cool thing to have a degree in and/or career in... tell me more.

      Indeed, it is a very well regarded program nationally, and one of the MANY prerequisites is to have earned an Associates degree in the past 3 years, which I was about to do. Sure there were about 30ish credits worth of classes to have completed just to be put on a wait list, but hey I got time now.

      Thankfully, their policy was to be put on the wait-list immediately as a place holder, and it was assumed you would finish the prereqs ASAP otherwise they would pass you up if and when they got to your name, sounds fair to me since they only accept 25 students per calendar year and the list is rumored to be in the hundreds so I should be able to get it done several times over right?

      So another year goes by, I have all but 1 or 2 classes completed, I got my CPR card, I got a physical, I even took the Math classes that were required for the program, just to be ahead of the game... Then I get an email from the lady who essentially oversees the wait-lists for all the medical programs, Ultra sound techs, Xray techs, Physician assts, etc... and to my severe disappointment it is regarding a change in prereqs for... just the Nuclear program... OF COURSE!

      I look over the new list and it called for about 10-12 new classes, including a higher math than I have prematurely taken; i.e. I wasted $, and three different Lab sciences that make all previous lab sciences I took and paid for worthless. In all, I wasted close to $3,000 on classes I'll never need for anything and have about $2,400 in new classes to again, retain my place in line! Thankfully, I used most of the $ my previous company paid in Matching tuition expenses during my time earning business degrees, HA!

      Oh and upon talking to this wait-list overseer, as I had to call to find out WTF these psychos are doing to my and hundreds of other people, I am also told that the previous policy of the Nuclear program to offer alternative spots or out right moving someone up on the list based on GPA of the pre-reqs has been eliminated, so my precious 4.0 gpa as well as the time & energy spent attaining that was yet another waste of time, oh and the numeric order on the wait-list will be re-set, dependent on who finishes the new pre-reqs first...

      Sounds great.. but this bombshell was dropped MID-SEMESTER leaving me with a choice of either finishing the current classes I was in at the time to retain my selfish pride in having a 4.0 GPA, or drop everything, receive a failing grade, NO REFUND, and/or try to sign up for the new classes at the internet Community College that offers the hardest versions of a given class and the "teachers" only send copy and paste responses sans guidance, help or human feeling... but offers mid-semester start dates.

      Or I could simply just give up on the idea altogether, since its clear the people running this program are doing so in a less than organized way that is costing me thousands of dollars and YEARS of my life, just to be given entry to a 2 year program that has a failure/dropout rate of about 60% due to the difficulty of the material and the severe demands on people's time due to the nature of the lab and clinical work...

      Quite the crossroads huh? I just wanted to seize the opportunity to be a part of something unique, special, and frankly impressive, but NOOOO...

    • Sudden Awareness of Stuff...

      5 years ago


      Its pretty clear that most people on this site are, for the most part, pretty open minded, objective people, or so we try. While I have been simply AWFUL at jumping into the fray and attempting to have this seemingly inevitable moment where I am enveloped into the community and and begin enjoying bonding conversations and partake in countless group activities, but its my own fault for many reasons including time constraints (both real and occasionally not real, but I think we all sometimes feign being busy in order to make time for just ourselves), feeling overwhelmed on where the fuck to begin and of course, everyone's favorite, feeling as though doing so would be futile so why bother?

      Anyway, as someone who has occasionally combed forums in search of a "hey, that has me written all over it" moment I have noticed a buttload of forum threads & journals dedicated to things like females writing about how they are too often dealing with a-hole males who instantly and permanently sexualize and therefore minimalize them (if those are in fact real words...). And thankfully, almost everyone is immediately met with support and encouragement, even shared stories of similar experiences along with advice on how to handle it in the future as we all know its something that the ladies will pretty much always deal with, because this world sucks!

      Likewise, many serious gamers, D&D players & specialty card/board gamers talk about how they once their hobbies/lifestyles are unveiled to peers, they are vilified as pathetic nerds, geeks, wieners, and other such cliche adjectives. Again this is met with a fantastic reception of support and shared tales of war stories involving similar such BS having been dealt with and its fantastic.

      On & on goes the list of this sites many wonderful people and the many wonderful things that makes them both happy and unique are laid out with stories about the crap they face for being them and its continuously upsetting being reminded that somehow the fuckwads of the world will always appear to outnumber the non-fuckwads, even when it is tailored into a story of overcoming and eventually leads to an epiphany or two about how what transpired has in fact been a means to strengthen one's resolve and so forth.

      Now, that said as a person with a singular set of experiences, opinions, and thoughts of my own I selfishly think about how as a man I don't have to deal with being looked at like a bunch of wet holes and boobs.

      As a 6' 2" 250lb man I am not immediately written off as a nerd/geek/whatever the word de jour is for the oxymoronic behavior dumb people engage in to make those smarter who are seem inferior. Even though I do wear glasses, I wear the tshirts with smart people things, & freakin love taking about science, gaming, etc...

      As large man who dresses, and I assume behaves, pretty heterosexually I have never been targeted for any anti-LGBT hate crap, though neither have I ever been hit on by a dude, again because I'm... well I am an anti-blip on gaydar, I'm a messy, football jersey+old jean+old sneaker wearing, pretty lady looking at (but NEVER hooting at), not mysterious or admittedly particularly interesting guy to pick out of a crowd.

      About all I got is that I was a fat kid and pre-teen who starved himself into having a "normal" JR & SR year in HS, had an average if uneventful time of it in my 20's with a few bits of yo-yoing weight issues here and there because pizza is amazing and now am a home and small business owner with an HOA... I know, I know stop with all the "sizzle" right?

      After a lot of thought and trying to figure out why the hell I respond to all those stories is... I guess as a person who has not had to go through many of these things, I begin to fear that perhaps instead of being seen as the unassuming, "average according to People magazine or something equally banal, maybe I am more often than not seen simply as a guy who is potentially the next wave of shittiness that is the reason behind another story of being made to feel 'less-than'...

      Yea, okay so that just came together for me as I wrote this overly long piece of tripe, kind of... more shitty than cathartic... hmmppfff

      Well, I guess I don't have some mega-twist to unveil about how I am on par with those whose stories I've read.

      Nope, the best I got is dealing with the presumption of being a douche who might be the source of ridicule and annoyance. Not much I know, but it costs me the chance to get to know tons of probably awesome people, who in satisfying their desire to avoid judgement and potential conflict, judge and isolate the tolerant, understanding and accepting type of person they want to find.

      While I MIGHT look like I was freshly pooped out of a sexist, homophobic, average intelligence at best, racist, xenophobic, uber-christian, Whitey-McWhiterton amalgamation machine, I am in fact a guy who has never "hit on" a chick ever, seriously, I've never even, in an official capacity, asked for a girl's #, (long story short I either talk to them without the goal of "nailing them" and they either initiate said number asking, or I have a friend... crazy way to operate right?), I believe in equal rights for EVERYONE, who's not a pedophile or rapist, think that race & origin can only add to a person not subtract, atheist who loves science but appreciates the comfort sane people finds in a sane religious community.

      Since I refrain from posting to so many of those well told stories about real shit that happens & will continue to happen to them, I selfishly impose a request that all of those dealing with the constant downpour of excrement from the walking toilets that exist out there, don't ever let that stop you from starting a conversation with someone that might look like the embodiment of every dickhole that came before, regardless of how low your previous success rates have been!

  • Comments (3)

    • LostInSweden

      4 years ago

      Hello, thank you for befriending me. =]

      • LostInSweden

        4 years ago

        I'm so glad you do. ^^

      • WSM FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

        4 years ago

        My pleasure, I love the gifs and your art style =)

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