Wind_Sama

Female
from Here, there... in your pants...

  • Activity

    • Work Work Work

      7 years ago

      Wind_Sama

      Been almost a year since I updated this profile journal thingy.

      I have a job. I step foot in my workplace 6 out of 7 days of the week. It's somewhat of a bother. Weekends are short. Very unfortunate. Could be worse, though. Everything could.

      On the bright side, at least I have a steady income now. And health insurance! My Bacon! Health insurance! What a fantastic thing. Can't wait to use it.

    • 8 years ago

      Wind_Sama
    • 8 years ago

      Wind_Sama
    • 8 years ago

      Wind_Sama
    • >:/

      8 years ago

      Wind_Sama

      It is only a matter of days until my Second in command turns another year older.

      Can't wait until he gets part two of his present from me.

      He won't know what to do - besides comment rape my account. YOU HARLOT!

      (It's all out of love, I swear.)

    • A List of Wind Sama-ly Things

      10 years ago

      Wind_Sama

      Things that have been going on in my life recently

      - Worked in a factory all summer.
      - Bought a Jeep Wrangler - which is probably the love of my life at this point.
      - Discovered I don't mind working a 10-hour shift as long as I don't have to stand for all of it â€" because apparently my feet are the only part of me that can't take it. It's been over 2 weeks since my summer job ended and my feet are still sore.
      - Took in a cat â€" it had four kittens. We kept two of the four. Named the female Filibuster Ruthy Runt, and the male Barnaby Jones. All summer these kittens kept me from sleeping by climbing all over me and being all around loveable and too affectionate.
      - Bought Fallout 3 for the PS3 â€" have only had the time to play it on two occasions.
      - Bought an 8G Zune and downloaded my entire music library onto it â€" discovering my entire music collection didn't even take up a fourth of the space.
      - Bought Infamous for the PS3 and fell in love with the game. MADE time to play it a bit over summer, but have not had much time lately to play.
      - Went absolutely nuts on the inside when my Second found the trailer for The Last Guardian â€" the next installment of my favorite game, Shadow of the Colossus. Seriously... thought my brain was going to implode.
      - Moved back into the college dormitory for my 4th year. Was happy because I finally got to sleep on a bed, instead of a floor, air mattress, or couch.
      - Bought some new fish for my 5 gallon tank. Decided against guppies and got some tetras and danios.
      - Drove over too many curbs, bumps, hills, and gravel with my Jeep while yelling, “JEEP POW-UH!â€Â
      - Nearly cussed some ladies at the DMV up one wall and down another after their uncalled for attitudes pissed me off one too many times while I was trying to register my Jeep. However, they caught onto the danger and changed their tune quick.
      - Decided I'm absolutely sick of Iowa and the craptastic weather that comes with it so made a goal to be moved out of Iowa before I turn 25.
      - I am now pursuing degrees in computer software and hardware.
      - Discovered dark chocolate peanut M&Ms. Amazing.
      - Arranged college dorm room in a way that I've never arranged it before. It is rather unique, I do believe.
      - Had a terrible itch to play Gears of War 2 all summer but no Xbox.
      - Been wanting to draw constantly lately but I never seem to create anything decent.
      - Had to send in my beloved Keocera Neo cell phone because it was misbehaving. Now I have this horrendous loaner phone. I didn't know it was possible to hate a cell phone as much as I do this loaner. I'd rather have my malfunctioning KeoNeo back. As soon as the lady took it away, I started missing it terribly. I wouldn't even need to use it â€" just having it near made me happy. I find this odd.
      - Discovered I make emotional attachments to inanimate objects (ie â€" Jeep, cell phone, computer, laptop, pillows â€" yes, PILLOWS!).

      Meh, meh, meh! Tis all I got for now.

    • Too Much On My Mind

      10 years ago

      Wind_Sama

      I don‘t normally do this online journal thing, but there are many issues and topics that have been on my mind recently and I wanted them out. Read if you feel so inclined. Comment if you have thoughts or advice. Do nothing. It’s your decision. I apologize in advance if my ramblings run off-topic or seem unorganized. I don’t control them. They just come out however they please.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      So here we are, May 2009 and I just filled out a job application for a summer factory job. I’ve never worked in a factory. I don’t know what to expect other than the not-very-descriptive descriptions from friends. I need the money so I’m going with it. I hope I get the job. If not, I’ll have to settle for applying somewhere that pays less, and offers less hours. So, all in all, I’m really hoping this goes well for me. For once, things going well would be nice.

      I’ve become pretty run down. I’m exhausted mentally and physically (angry, too, but mostly at my own inadequacies) and can’t handle much more of having to rely on others. My goal is to be able to support myself financially. I want to live on my own, mainly because I need my own space; otherwise I fear I’ll go insane.
      About a week ago I took a short drive and sat in a mostly vacated parking lot. I must have sat there for nearly two hours, merely thinking. I was trying to find answers, but first I had to ask myself the right questions. Finally, I asked myself what was stopping me from doing what I wanted to do. I was almost startled when a voice in my head shouted, “You feel obligated to help others!”

      At that point my thoughts formed a storm and I became lost for quite some time. The voice had been eager, happy, and yet angry at the same time. Eager to tell me, happy I finally realized it, and angry because it’s taken me so long to realize it.

      I’ve always felt like I’ve had an instinctual drive to help others. It’s as though I’m here to protect others if they need protecting, and point them in the right direction if ever they become lost. I see my mind as radiating thoughts of, “Here, let me help you. I’ll sacrifice my time, energy, and opportunities so you can benefit because you’re important to me.” I’ve always done it willingly and happily, because friends and family come first (Note ‘family’ does not necessarily equal ‘relatives’. Family means those I care most about.) I come second. That’s the way my mind insists on functioning.

      All my life, I’ve told myself never to expect perfection from others, because I myself am far from perfect. Expecting more from others than I do from myself would be reaching a level of audacity that is unacceptable and shameful. I see myself as a wreck, a mess. I’ve never lived up to my own standards, and while I can forgive others for their mistakes, I cannot forgive myself. You can consider it a major flaw of my personality, but I don’t see how I can change it without turning back, at least partially, into a former self (a former self which I hate). I used to not care about anyone or anything, and in return people treated me equally as nice, which wasn’t nice at all. Though I certainly wasn’t being held back by obligations to others then, I also had nothing to live for. I felt the world itself was something I would never be able to have a firm grasp on. I feared everything being ripped from under me just when life was becoming happier, as it has been in the past.

      I don’t like having things taken from me. I’m tired of having things taken from me. It has happened too often in my life. Therefore, I can become dangerously protective of those close to me, a sort of defensive behavior that says ‘they are mine and I’m not giving them up without a fight’. However, I know this protective behavior leads to me feeling obligated or ‘loyal’. And those obligations hold me back. I’m too rooted where I am now. I need to uproot myself. I need to begin pulling away. If I don’t, I’ll never be happy.

      I’m beginning to sever the weightiest of my ties. I’ve realized I’ll never go anywhere if all I do is put others first. That strategy of others first will never make me happy in this world, so I’ve chosen to forgo the happiness of those I care for in order to seek what will make me happy in life. That doesn’t mean I’ll never help others. I cannot abandon such a strong trait of my personality easily. I’m merely ridding myself of the greatest burdens.

      Life isn’t worth living if I can’t be happy.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      There are thousands of other thoughts going through my mind right now, but they’re such a mess I can’t pick one apart from another. If thoughts were strings mine would be the world’s largest knot. If only I had a sword to sever them with.

      - Wind Sama

    • Today

      10 years ago

      Wind_Sama

      I have invaded the domain of RoosterTeeth... yes.

      This is my retarded journal entry. Fear it. For I did not know what else to write. Blargh.

    • 2019 years ago

      Wind_Sama
    • 2019 years ago

      Wind_Sama
  • About Me

  • Comments (16)

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      Good to know I do make ya smile. I do what I can. *lick*

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      OMB! I just saw that you had spontaneous orgasm in your Interests section. And I was mentioned. Ahaha. Awesome. YEEEEEESSSSSS! SPONTANEOUS ORGASM!!

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      Good to see you posted a new journal. =D

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      HEY! Your cool! take that.

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      8 years ago

      HI! Hows it going?
      Thought Id pop over and say hey. =P

    • atlas828

      9 years ago

      I have chicken and you don't so ha

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      forgot the link
      roosterteeth.com/grunt2007

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      Check it out, a guy took one of my images. I dont mind that much.

    • atlas828

      10 years ago

      I have found ye and I am here to do something evil like sit on you and find your tickle spot on your back again

    • Hime

      10 years ago

      u win this round but the war's not over

    • Hime

      10 years ago

      but y?

    • Hime

      10 years ago

      yes i can

    • Wind_Sama

      10 years ago

      Wind-Sama strikes again! Rawr!

    • Wind_Sama

      10 years ago

      Blargle Rargle.... HIME!

    • Gyro2007 FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      10 years ago

      AHHHHHH!!! *Squirm* damn it. you got me windsama

    • Hime

      10 years ago

      Blarg

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