Back for a while but not sure how long, FF.com is a cruel mistress, soon as I think I am done with it I find another story that I just cant stand to not read. Recently found one that is 300,000+ words! If I was one for dramatic physical actions I might have drooled a little, as it is I only was just able to stop reading (discovered the author a couple hours ago, not sure how long, havent looked at clock in a while).
But I havent been doing nothing but reading fanfiction all these weeks.
I have tried practicing my concentration by focusing on something and ignoring everything else like muscle twitches from trying not to move, but still noticing them (This is slightly scary considering that a few hours ago I was doing this and stopped breathing for I dont know how long since I was focusing on my breathing, all I know is I didnt notice when I stopped breathing, only that I had stopped.)
Ive been told that this is actually (not the breathing thing) what meditation is and not what I have been doing for almost a year now which was focus on my breathing and shut down every thought in my head. I read somewhere that this is actually VERY, VERY bad for me, but im already slightly insane anyways so I dont see any reason in stopping. Actually has come in very handy since ive gotten really good at...hard to describe...call it 'crushing' a thought in my head that I dont like. Im very excited about this because until recently I couldnt do it and the only way for me to clear my mind without stopping to 'meditate' was to jerk my head to the left. (Something I trained my head to do when I started playing around 'up there') But now I dont even have to do that.
All this mind play has seemed to be having some benefits besides being extremely relaxing, the other day I memorized a 5 paragraph speech in less than 5 hours, spoke it for my teacher with only 4 missed words, then 'crushed' it so I cant even remember the entire first paragraph now. I think it was well worth the effort because I can read my book in peace for the next whole week while the rest of the class silently works on that. If only I had a new book to read or my printer wasnt out of toner. *sigh*
Well anyways, enough about me for now. Looking forward to all the alerts im going to get to read!
9 years agoZankaru
9 years agoZankaru
Stumbled onto another instrument that is bliss to the ears. If anyone has heard ot the uilleann pipes you know what they are, if not, think bagpipes but more....'flutey', I guess.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSjmvU_8xLY - #1 (2:00 is...there are no words to describe it right. It almost feels like the one time I was in love.)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAGaUiQpho8&feature=related - #2 ( Seems to be sad and happy at the same time, if thats even possible)
Latest Anime / Manga comments:
Anime_One Piece - What have they done to franky!?!?
Manga_One Piece - Either luffy is beyond crazy, or he really does have kintama....im betting on the crazy.
Anime_Naruto - Were getting closer to...well I wont spoil anything. =(
Manga_Naruto - Gaara is going to wth stomp all over sasuke and his stupid eyes!
Anime_Bleach - Stupid filler arc, im not even bothering to watch em.
Manga_Bleach - His bankai is just weird, but awesome.
Ive been thinking over my life recently and for the past two years ive had four paths to choose from, which ive yet to be able to decide on.
*Short term Path 1 - Military out of high-school.
*Short term Path 2 - College out of high-school.
*Long term Path 1 - Become involved in polotics and try to make the world a better place.
*Long term Path 2 - Feth the rest of the world, try to enjoy my life, not care about the rest of the world.
Once I can drag myself away from FanFiction.com for a few days (ha, like thats happening) im going to be learning how to draw (finally). Hopefully I will be able to get a job soon so I can get a comp-pen-thingy, but looking at getting a scanner first.
God bless and THAT IS ALL!!!
9 years agoZankaru
The newest TWOT book will be coming out in 47 days. Beyond, best thing to happen to me in the last 4 years, there are no words to describe my enthuasiam. TWOT 'IS' and will always be the 'BEST' and my favorite of all series, including movies, novels, and comics. There is nothing more awesome than TWOT. =)
Something I have always thought about ever since my first RPG, finally decided to write it down. Anyone think im wrong about one, or forgot one, tell me.
Real world stats:
Realm of Mind:
Intelligence - Ability to learn and retain knowledge.
Knowledge - Anything learned.
Wisdom - Ability to apply knowledge to situations.
Willpower - Ability to 'force' yourself to do something unsavory. (courage being a major example)
Realm of Body:
Dexterity - Coordination and speed of hands and fingers. (typing, twirling objects, etc.)
Flexibility - Coordination and speed of body. ( running, acrobatics, etc.)
Strength - Ability to manipulate objects with muscles. (pulling, pushing, lifting, etc.)
Endurance - Ability to sustain physical motions for long periods of time.
Endurance x Willpower = Pushing yourself past your bodys 'limit' would fall under Willpower.
9 years agoZankaru
The greatest thing has happened!
According to my meetings with my councilor last year, I needed another full year of school along with a minimum of 5 full online courses. Basically they take a text-book and convert it into online lessons, on average a single lesson takes me about 3 hours, and a single course can have anywhere from 80 to 120+ lessons. I also have been unable to find a job anywhere so far, and with regular school added to that, ive been a bit on edge for the last 2 years.
But not anymore! Im bloody weightless! I spent both ag's classes today back to back carrying 40lb buckets of sawdust for 3 hours and I still didnt get tired, I seriously think im invincible right now, and Why you ask?
Because I found out last night that in december I will be completely done with high school and graduate. Yeah, aparently my councilor messed up his math and I only need to finish a semester and the 2 online courses im currently half-way done with. Also I know of 5 places that are hiring that were not recently. I havent met a single rude person at school so far, which in my opinion is a fething miracle. The voice that constantly whispered ways to kill anyone I met hasnt been anywhere up there that I have heard for a few weeks now. Family friend is teaching me how to cook (great catfish last night). Finally, I talked to a AF recruiter two days ago and took some ASVAB pre-test thing which I apparently did great on (61-62) although the first section gave me word problems without telling me what I was supposed to do. (im guessing it was made that way on purpose)
God bless and THAT IS ALL!
9 years agoZankaru
*WARNING - Journal contains rant!*
(cant go around complaning about things to people I see everyday, wouldnt look good. have to keep up appearences)
I should have seen it coming. I was walking on thin ice but did I stop, no! I just ran my mouth. Well jinxed, am I. Was sitting outside enjoying the show the let 1's were putting on, "everyone raise your right hand, now turn to your left...no, the other way." All good fun. Well out of nowhere the company commander walks up to me and says, "your my 1st sergeant." Dangit. Well, atleast there is nothing stopping me from gaining rank now. I never went above corporal so I wouldnt have to be a squad leader, now im bloody 1st sergeant. Just grand. *sigh*
Currently reading - The Art of War by Sun Tzu
Otherwise everything is fun:
Ag 1 - Have worked on my grandpa's farm and love doing that kind of stuff
Stagecraft - I already called dibs on being a "stage ninja". One of my favorite hobbys when I still lived in apartments was sneaking up on people at night while they were walking. I even got so good I could walk up to people from in-front of them and they never saw me unless I wanted them too. There is nothing more satisfying than making a grown man scream in fear. =)
Culinary - Made some kind of desert today, had pieces of oranges, sugar, sour cream, marmalade, and..crap.. one other thing, cant remember. Anyways, just to put in perspective how good this was, the first time I have ever used the word 'delicious' online ever, is about this.
Web Design II - If your not familiar with it, basically its learning how to play around with photoshop/publisher programs. I suck at it, but its fun. Also, one of my fav teachers and there are only 6 other students, AND I have it everyday = love it.
By the way, does anyone know how to make a.. 'gradient line'? I was trying to make a border around a picture with a gradient instead of a solid color, but none of us could figure out how to do it, and I didnt want to do the entire background as a gradient....hmmm. OH COME ON! Cant believe I didnt think of that! I could have just did the entire page as a gradient then used erased out the middle leaving the border. gah! *facepalm*
9 years agoZankaru
"Blue guys back!" - Loved the lastest episode =)
Well going back to school in 3..2 days, and not looking forward to it.Im going to be spending the next few months answering the same question every single bloody day. "<insert real name here>? I thought you were a senior?"
I havent decided if I am going to explain the situation politely, or fall back to my usual answer to questions. Quietly stare at them until they go away. I like option 2 because this always has the effect of them never talking to me again, this making my life wonderful.
I only have to stay for a semester though, so ive decided to drop-out of ROTC for one big reason. The colonel teaches stuff pretty much the same every-year, however the majority of the time spent in class for the first semester is teaching the let 1's drill........ Seeing as I would become a let-4, this would mean there is 100% guarantee that I would be a squad leader. Needless to say it would end up with someone dead, either one of them after I beat them to death with one of my uniform shoes, or me after commiting suicide.
Saw the trailer for Avatar (not airbender) and it looked shiny.
Have caught up without everyones alerts finally, sorry if I didnt leave many comments. Many of yall had 20+ journals and RvB loads very slowly. I did read all the journals I missed though.
Random Thought : Have seen the news about a few protestors at the health-care meetings carrying guns and others accusing obama of trying to make america a nazi country. Im.....im just done. Im done with news channel 'experts' who admit to NOT READING THE DOCUMENT THAT THEY ARE DENOUNCING, and 'average american citizens' (as the fox news calls them) opinions. If your so stupid, as to go to a meeting on health care reform and call someone a nazi while crying, instead of explaining what you dont agree with, you dont deserve to be speaking at all. If your so stupid as to bring a LOADED AR-15 TO A PROTEST RALLY, you dont deserve to call that pile of matter in your skull a brain. Im so sick of freaking idiots, is thinking so hard? Really?
God bless and that is all.
9 years agoZankaru
Well...what to talk about....
nothing has really happened lately. I moved but only like 40 miles away from original area....
have to go back to school for a semester to finish up and that starts in a couple days....<daydreams of strangling freshmen self>
still cant find a job as nobody is hiring, even applied at my extreme last choice, mcdonalds...
oh well, have a nice day yall.
9 years agoZankaru
We take care of our own, TY ROOSTERTEETH
Update: 0820PST 11 AUG 2009
As of today, YOU, the RT Community, have helped raise, along with veterans groups and fellow service members, $850.00 towards the recovery of the remains of Raymond Aguilera. We still need more help! So please, don't give up now RT! Keep on linking this, getting the word out. This situation is repeating itsself all across America, and it's screwed! This country was founded on individuals acting together to shake the entire order of the world, let us honor that tradition and turn each small act into a cooperation for a greater cause. This isn't just one family you're helping, it's opening eyes to the fact that this situation was even allowed to happen in the first place. Open eyes watch out for each other, and maybe we can do something to stop this shameful trend from swallowing up any other families. THANK YOU ROOSTERTEETH!!!
Sorrow mixes with anger, as I sit here, far from home, trying to make at least my portion in recent times to fit some form of sense. My best friend and battle buddy, a woman who I've served through more Hell with than most people should ever have to dream about, let alone experience, is right now going through a horror that makes some of the bloodier moments of our shared history pale in comparison. Her son died friday, a victim of depression, bad judgement, and the toll that so many military families take without the media ever noticing. I've known this woman for well over a decade, I've watched her kids grow up, and the sudden tragic turn has me shaken to the core. To add insult to injury, she recently ETS'd, and no longer has any support system. Her case with the VA is tied up in their logistical version of Purgatory, and she was having a hard enough time holding things together when she still had the full support of the active military community behind her, let alone now, a wolf trying to fit in with the sheep. Right after getting out, her husband lost his job, which they had always thought was beyond the realm of possibility, and neither of them has been able to find employment since. They're on the verge of losing their home, and yet, she still, in her greatness of spirit, is supporting her two disabled brothers, one of them with spouse and disabled child, and had in fact, agreed for the boy who just passed away to come and live with her while he got through some recent tough times of his own.
Saturday, she was going to move him in. Thursday night, they spoke on the phone, and he expressed his gratitude and excitement at coming home. Friday morning, she called me up, with the news. At age 23, her child was dead. Her family life insurance wouldn't cover his funeral expenses, because he'd just turned 23 a few weeks before, and was deemed "independant." So damn independant he got himself killed in sheer youthful stupidity.
I've hardly ever moved out the door so fast, the moment I got that phone call. Lack of drivers license be damned, I was there. As I stood vigil with her, taking shot after shot in reckless disregard of propriety, liver function, or rationality, she burst into tears and choked out the words "I can't even pay to get his ashes back."
What the hell is wrong with America, that has abandoned her warriors so readily?
Well, I can tell you all one thing. It hasn't made ALL of us abandon our morals. To hell if I'm leaving my nephew's ashes in hock to some parasitic funeral parlour. The first thing I did was call my whole platoon (well, the survivors of my last platoon, that is) and gathered up donations via mailed checks, paypal, or personal drop off. Within 40 minutes, a bunch of broke ass drunk mechanics had garnered up 200 dollars, but we've got a helluva lot more to go. I contacted some local vets groups and veterans advocacy groups in the PNW, and there's been a number of other generous souls there who've stepped up and taken their part to ease the burden.
Bad enough her family is facing foreclosure, not being able to pay for the return of what should rightfully be hers, the remains of her child, is an indignity I will not stand by and allow. People talk about supporting veterans, well folks, it's situations like this, which are unfolding all across America. I'm not here trying to drum up funds, but if anybody wanted to contribute, be it in prayers, letters, regards, or contributions in memory of Raymond Aguilera, 1986-2009, feel free to message me. What I am asking is that this be linked to, that word be passed around. That a mother's anguish not be lost in the politics. I don't give a rats ass if you don't believe in what we've served with our lives for, I don't care if you're Republican, Libertarian, Democrat, or a sneering hyaena. We've dropped the ball on our pledge to take care of those who take care of us. Veterans like my friend have given their all. Three deployments later, she's got a family so broken that all the king's soldiers and all the world's duct tape and super glue can't put them back together again. The least that we can do is give her the means to recover what should be hers as a fundamental right, not a paid for privilege.
So please, link this. Mod it. Boost it. Get the word out. Because she's not the only one. Women veterans are the fastest growing percentage of homeless veterans . Families take more of a hit from deployments than merely losing their mothers, their fathers. They go through hells of stress that most civilians will never have to understand or experience. Her son could be one of your friends. Her son could be the child of any of us. We take care of our own, right?
I just got back from watching it, and the freaking quidditch story and the love potions got more screentime than the final battle. they even completely skipped the huge battle in hogwarts between the teachers and the death eaters. The big secret reveal of the book that snape is the half blood prince has like 10 seconds of screen time and only 1 line then it moves on.
I cant stand this anymore, I dont even want to go see the movies of my favorite books because its either good because they only changed a few small details and had to cut stuff out because everyone is scared of the movie being too long and not enough people coming, or a complete travesty that makes you cry inside like clive cusslers book 'sahara' being made into that pile of birdcrap people call a movie.
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