_blackrose

Female
from Cali-forn-eeay

  • Activity

    • i think 4 years is long enough.

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      it's been a blast, thanks for all the wasted teenage hours, rvb.

    • new phone, new day, new job

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      well, i'm on my new phone. this minute. being a dumbass.

      i've been going through some real personal shit and, even after 2 full years of being single, i'm just not willing to jump headfirst into a relationship. it isn't working out.
      i scored a new job, though. hello goodwill, here i come.

    • hey. listen.

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      i'm just rambling all over the place. i'm hanging out with Drew again today.
      yogurtland and discounted coffee, yay!
      as odd as i feel lately, he makes me feel...normal.
      happy. or echo of happy. either way, i like him.

    • Birth By Sleep

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      pretty much rules my life right now.
      this is the longest aside from actually sleeping that i've taken a break since i got the damn memory card for it.

      then, i'm going on a non-date with a rather kind gentleman i was introduced to via a coworker on New Year's Eve. looks pretty interesting, to say the least, and i'm pleased to discover that he and i can have an array of topics in a conversation and not get completely bored with each other. this spells the beginnings of an epic new friendship.
      huzzah, for having brain cells.

      i'm trying to figure out dates to visit my dearest Panda and Gravi, and avoid my otherwise turbulent life down here for a week or so.
      and what those dates will do to my bank account. god i hope i get this job.

    • WHY AM I AWAAAAKE

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      oh yeah, because sleep is for wussies and delirium is delightful.

    • Just Be Friends ---Megurine Luka

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      Just be friends All we gotta do
      Just be friends It's time to say goodbye
      Just be friends All we gotta do
      Just be friends Just be friends...

      I remembered early yesterday morning
      Why do I feel
      As if I'm gathering piece of broken glass? Blood drips from my cut fingers
      I wonder if we wanted to do these kinds of things
      I already knew deep inside my heart
      That the most painful choice would be the best
      My self-love refuses it and as a result, self-contradiction repeats
      I wonder when we can talk
      In this slowly decaying world
      A path for my struggling self
      I carve in your colorless smile
      I pulled off the plug
      I shouted until my voice was dry
      The echo reverberates in the empty air
      Although there was nothing left
      After the chains were removed
      Fate that allowed us to meet
      The darkness interrupts countless and relentless time
      "So this is how it is..." I murmured
      Somebody's tears flow down dried cheeks
      XchorusX
      I realized at yesterday's quiet night
      That even if I pick up the fallen flower leaves
      It won't bloom back to its original form
      The small death on top of my hands
      Our time is frozen still
      I remembered the season when we first met
      And your sweetly smiling face
      I push the present to the past and received the scars that we both got
      Our hearts are full of thorns
      Even in this frustratingly continuing relationship
      I sadly can't change my heart
      I was loving you, I didn't want to be apart from you
      But I have to say it
      The rain that pours on my heart
      Dazed and terrified, even my vision is blurry
      I anticipated the hurt
      But my body can't move
      Fate that connected us
      Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life
      Goodbye my loved one... This is the end
      Now we look go on without looking back
      Once more, once more
      If my wish can come true
      I want to be reborn many times
      I'll go and meet you from that day
      I shouted until my voice was dry
      The echo reverberates in the empty air
      Although there was nothing left
      After the chains were removed
      Fate that connected us
      Becomes undone and disappears into everyday life
      Goodbye my loved one... This is the end
      Now we look go on without looking back
      This is the end
      Just be Friends. All we Gotta do Just be friends.

    • i feel...

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      beautiful for once.
      surprising what a little make-up can do.
      even if i have to work the late shift tonight.

    • mad

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      grrrr. suck it.

    • job

      8 years ago

      _blackrose

      i finally have one.
      one in which i get discounts on video games.
      whoo hoo.

    • because i can babble here

      9 years ago

      _blackrose

      since virtually nobody uses redvsblue anymore, i may as well just blabble on about an array of random subjects.

      such as--

      i'm wating for Ves' new wig and eyes to come in(i was once teased that i'm attempting to make him monochrome, and suddenly we burst into singing--well, you probably guessed it without me telling you. i've been watching WAY too much Kuroshitsuji.), and wondering how i'm going to stitch together the design Bacon gave me and with what fabric. obviously a RED one, because how would he be a tranny without it? i think Satin would stain, so i'll have to use a poly-silk combo or something.

      school orientation is ovar. even having wasted my whole summer struggling for Chaffey, one week at Mt. Sac and it seems i've got most everything handled. and the mascot is way cooler. a mountie? yespls. the only way it could possibly be more boss is if that mountie was on a moose. and the moose had a sombrero. and i'll be with my ever lovely Rainbow, who i miss desperately and think it's stupid that i don't see her as often if at all anymore.

      Bacon has her most excellent of boyfriends living oh so close in a matter of days and i think it's friggin' excellent, because she'll be happier, and i like a happy Bacon. it sizzles oh so nice. (also, if you don't know what i'm talking about, you're stupid. i don't care if you aren't aware of the situation, you're stupid. moving on.)
      and she's got her interview today.
      BEST OF LUCK. SRS.

      i've recently taken to playing Digimon World again--lame, yes. nerdy--without question. do i regret it? not at all.
      i feel like a kid again, and it's easier to ignore this crippling heat wave. and it gives me something to do while i procrastinate finishing Final Fantasy 7. i also keep forgetting that i have a battle-date with Aaron on pokemon, but i'm just so easily distracted. i normally flatten everyone i come across, so it got kinda boring. i need a challenge every now and again.

      the heat wave--at least i'm dropping pounds. i wanna lose at least OOOOONE roll by the time i fit into mt.sac. that way the hills won't make my insides bleed out of any orifice they can reach. holy shit this place is huge. i thought i had a size complex BEFORE...i feel tiny in comparison to everything.

      also, fashion apparently means nothing here, and for that i am grateful. i've seen at least three men in booty shorts, a big girl in tights and polka dot panties underneath, a guy with a purple mohawk and a tight green shirt and a few other intriguing outfits all over the campus. i can wear my plethora of mismatched rings and eclectic clothes and even that strange bracelet Bacon gave me last i saw her. (which fits so well into my wardrobe it's frightening.) and i won't even be looked at funny. in fact, even with my runny eyeliner, my faded dyed hair piled on top of my head, my striped sweater falling off my shoulder, my eight pieces of jewelry and my jeans bagging off my ass, i STILL got checked out. and one of them was attractive himself. :B

      I finished mockingjay. it was mostly good. i like that Peeta was batshit crazy.
      but Katniss became a weenie. dammit. curse you for being unreliable.

      that is all.

  • About Me

  • Comments (3195)

    • _Kitserix_

      8 years ago

      CORRECTION IS NEEDED.
      I meant 'here' not 'there'

    • _Kitserix_

      8 years ago

      When was the last time i was on there? ._.
      weeks? Months?

    • ryusuke

      8 years ago

      That's pretty fucking awesome. I am just getting ready to leave school actually. I talked to a bunch of people who are in the guitar program here and they say it sucks ass. So I think I will just work and then save up to move somewhere. I miss home, but I am not done traveling. I need to find the musicians that I can work with for the band I have in mind.

    • ryusuke

      8 years ago

      that's alright. If life always went the way I wanted it to it wouldn't be a challenge. So what's new?

    • ryusuke

      8 years ago

      Thanks for the Journal Comment. I ended up falling asleep pretty early so, it wasn't a total waste of a day.

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      yeah im leavin for college here pretty soon so i felt it natural to spend as much time with them as possible. which it doesnt really matter because im going to ohio state and i only live like 40 mins away so ill probably come home most weekends :) and thats cool we have a lot in common! i see youre college bound where are you going? :D

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      lol thats cool im the same way, only not a chick :) and dont worry about it, you deserve it! :D

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      lol thats fine hopefully ill catch you another time :D bye! :)

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      the pleasure's all mine amber :)

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      oh well THANKS FOR HURTING MY FEELINGS :) lol jk but ive also been told im a "ray of sunshine" see its funny bc my names ray iknwrite? i could see how looking at your pretty face could lighten up someones day. whats your name btw? :D

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      yeah thats for sure. my being nice to girls is usually just taken is a diff way of hitting on them but it almost never is :(

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      yeah idk why im like that i just run around handing out compliments all day long its kinda stupid :D

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      lol trust me you're a lot better off not thinking about stuff like that :) its mainly about how you see yourself but to me you're gorgeous

    • RayMoney

      9 years ago

      im trying to imagine you without them, and id have to completely disagree. no bs :)

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Good Luck.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I am sure that you will. There are loads of them. Hell, if you do well enough you can get an academic scholarship for USC or UCLA. They both have great nurse/doctoral programs.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I am pretty sure that UC Irvine accepts them.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Yeah. One of the girls I work worth plays basketball for WSU. She really likes the campus. It is better to get all of your GER's(general education requirements) done at a community college as opposed to a University, but you will have to double check with WSU to see if they will accept the work you have done at Chaffey. I know it sounds funny, but my school wont accept what my aunt did at Mt Sac or the school in Fontana(I cant remember the name of it XD). also, check to see what classes are required for you to take for your selected major, because most likely, some of them will be GER's, and you will be able to kill two birds with one stone. That is one reason I made math my minor, I need a lot of it for my computer science degree. and when I finish all the math I need for that class, I will be one away from completing my minor, no sense in not doing it. On top of that, after i complete math as a minor I can take two more classes and get my associates, for my and have my bachelors(provided I do all of this within a ten year span.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Where are you going to school? Also, look into something called the Pell grant. It can give you 700 dollars you dont have to pay back. It is great. The only requirement is that one of your parents makes under 50k a year.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      well, if I am going to live long and prosper I shall have to turn into a vulcan first XP. But really, I think if I do find these classes uninteresting then I will just take my computer classes and finish my minor in mathematics at least. I should take the piano classes as well.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I just got the result back yesterday. It was negative. And as for college. I will most likely be dropping out this semester. I was told by a guitarist who was taking the classes that I could easily teach myself everything they teach. He actually changed his instrument to clarinet because the classes were better. So yeah, I really have no reason to stay.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I dont have the money. I havent had any health insurance in over a year now.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I bought an ENGL 2x12 120 W cab. It is small but the tone is amazing. The good thing is, all the instruments and stuff I buy are tax write-offs because I am a music major in college.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I do not. I am working so much because I found a modified Laney Head(my favorite amp brand) for $700. I am actually searching to buy a cab right now too. I am so psyched because musiciansfriend.com is having a huge gear sale right now and that is where I am going to buy m cab.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      extreme fatigue/muscle fatigue.Which I believe to just be a combination of insomnia and working 40+ hours a week.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I didnt really take long. A month maybe. If that. All of my test results came back healthier then someone who is an omnivore, so I am doing pretty damn well.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I haven't been sick in the normal sense of the word for a long time. That is why I personally ruled out anemia. My aunt didn't agree with me in that train of thought, but I was able to prove her wrong. In fact, my red blood cell count as well as my protein and Iron counts were above average. This is really weird because I have actually been eating vegan as much as possible over the last few months.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Well, like I said before: still celibate. However you probably are healthier then I am right now

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Well, my aunt insisted. She doesn't believe that I was always sexually inactive. That is her problem though. The test was free and I have nothing to worry about in that aspect.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      no drugs. Still Celibate. It was one of those things that was tossed into the air. i dont think I have it. In fact, I think it was just because I have been working so much that I have been sickly. I have to get up ast 620 AM every day almost, and I have insomnia. I dont fall asleep until sometime between 1 and 2

    • GraviTiger

      9 years ago

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! YOU'RE ADDICTED NOW! I mean even if you go back and watch the non Alien Force episodes of them it's kinda hard not to pair them together.

    • GraviTiger

      9 years ago

      I LOVES YOU TOO!!! =D I'm glad you liked the web show, I'm currently attempting to find a way to edit episode 3.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Yeah. I just got started on my first necessity. I bought an iphone today. so, you may have my cell number if you wish. Now I have to wait a couple weeks so I can pay off the rest of my tuition. w00t

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Well, I hope you get the interview. Moreso, I hope you get the job. It is nice having some money to play with. Even if it is only a little bit.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      all I can say is, it happens. I don't condemn much of anything anymore. With the exception of Zealotry(and pedophilia and all that stuff still ;) )

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      By disorder did you mean PMDD? I am glad you got treatment.

      NO need to apologize. I was not, and still am not easy to deal with. I didn't exactly make life a fucking bowl of rainbows. I am sorry for all the shit I did.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Could that possibly have something to do with your depression? When I barely knew you, it seemed as if you wanted to do nothing with anyone or anything. Towards the end, it seemed you always wanted me there, regardless of what was going on. I understand that I was no help after that, but is it a real possibility? Or did something else create that shift in your mentality?

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      That is understandable. I will have a better reply tomorrow, as I feel horrid.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Not a problem. That is what I meant about being alone though. Maybe this will show you what I mean XD. I am not trying to sound like an insensitive bastard or anything; but, the beauty of alone time shouldn't be overlooked.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Well. I hope if it is Gabriella's family, that she doesn't drive you up the fucking wall XD. I hope their money issues go away ASAP though. Not having money is a terrible ordeal.

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      What I meant by that was when your family is reduced to names on a shipping list and your kids are off to college. I know that you hate being alone; but when you have kids, I think that sometimes you might wish you had that alone time. My father hates being alone, but he also hates that he never had to live on his own or anything like that until now. I am not saying you will be the same, it was just food for thought.

    • Panda_One

      9 years ago

      Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      I didn't check the syllabus for the information on my work. It was the first time my teacher didn't post it. Bastard. I work for the landscaping crew at my university. It pays pretty well. As for the being a hermit thing; you will find that is is pretty enjoyable after awhile. I definitely enjoy it. It sucks not being around people sometimes, and I am definitely not the type or person that should be left alone; but having alone time is really good. Since you want kids, I would be enjoying all of it that I could get at this age. After you have them, you won't ever have this time alone ever again. BEcause when your old and you are alone, people tend to loathe life. A sad fact.

    • _Kitserix_

      9 years ago

      Is facebook being stupid again?

    • _Kitserix_

      9 years ago

      Hey :3

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Maybe so, but just because I am in college means nothing . Am I passing classes? Am I happy? I passed my MUN class, but I am failing English so hard it would make your head spin. The sad part? I got 100% on my placement test in the English portion. NO, I am not at all happy with my teacher either. The man gives us the easiest and most boring work. I am failing because I missed the first two weeks. And, as I found out last night. There was a project I knew nothing about that was due last Sunday. So, I am pretty fucked on that. However, I have a decent job and am going to move out soon into my own apartment. The only thing is, after my trip to Germany, and maybe the MUN class, I am fucking out of here. This place is pretty depressing.

    • GraviTiger

      9 years ago

      Oh noes! You can't get sick! D=

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      Nah, it didn't sounds like an insult, I was just being playful. Well Mon Ami, on my end of the spectrum, I have the same impression as yours. Except, you did everything right and I fucked up EVERYTHING. I think it is that way for everyone.

      I noticed when I watch other musicians play, they make it look so easy, so, I watched videos of my concerts in Oregon, and i made it look easy when I was onstage. I vividly remember telling myself "Don't fuck up. Don't fuck up." over and over again. So, I think it is all about point of view.

    • GraviTiger

      9 years ago

      Thank you, I'm glad to be feeling better too.

      Oh I'm enjoying it, I'm enjoying it very much. X3

    • ryusuke

      9 years ago

      "seriously, we both know that if you don't like what you're doing, you won't put up with it long."

      What's that supposed to mean? XD

  • Questions

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