aak2013

Male
from Missouri

  • Activity

    • Yet another example that English is odd.

      9 years ago

      aak2013

      Tonight I wrote a former student of mine who was coming to America from Asia. I closed with
      "Safe travels!"

      And it was only in that moment that I realized how easily a non-native speaker could read that in two very different ways.

      One of them has some particularly vivid imagery...

    • Fun with Banks

      9 years ago

      aak2013

      I read this at tongodeon.livejournal.com/890323.html

      So, some delightful fellow has gotten the idea to take advantage of the account security questions for his bank. Instead of asking typical stuff like mother's maiden name, they let the user ask and answer their own question.
      Then, on future calls, the operator will read the question and the user will provide the answer.

      Good idea in general, and perfect for some delightful mischief.

      For example,
      Q: Need any weed? Grass? Kine bud? Shrooms?
      A: No thanks hippie, I'd just like to do some banking.

      Any other response, and they won't let you in.

      Here are some of my favorites:

      Q: I've been embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from my employer, and I don't care who knows it.
      A: It's a good thing they're recording this call, because I'm going to have to report you.

      Q: Are you really who you say you are?
      A: No, I am a Russian identity thief.

      Q: Tell me honestly, Sir: Are you ready to do some God Damn Banking?
      A: Fuck yes I am. Let's fucking do this.

      --
      Any suggestions of your own?

    • Dear Scammers: TRY HARDER

      9 years ago

      aak2013

      Longtime readers may recall that I have, on previous occasions, been solicited by the widow of Yasser Arafat. That letter had heart, man. It was timely, and relevant. Unfortunately, this latest effort is just pathetic.

      FROM: Mr. Patrick K.W Chan
      (Managing Director)
      Hang Seng Bank Limited
      83 Des Voeux Road, Central
      Hong Kong SAR.

      It is understandable that you may have a bit uneasy, because
      I do not know, but I have a lucrative business proposal for a mutual interest
      to share with you. I got the link on the search for someone who meets
      I propose a business relationship.

      I am Mr. Patrick Tues W Chan, executive director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd. have
      obscured in a business proposal for you. I want to help me
      implement a business project in Hong Kong in your country. This includes the
      transfer a large sum of money. Everything about this transaction
      should be made legally without a hitch. Please endeavor to comply with the maximum
      discretion in all matters concerning this issue.

      Once the funds have already been successfully transferred into your account, we
      shall share the money must be approved by both.

      I'd rather not worth it in my private e-mail address below
      (chanmrkwpatrick@yahoo.com.hk) and finally, after it was handed over to you
      More information about this operation.

      Please, do not care if you delete the e-mail, and do not hunt me
      because I am putting my career and life, my family is at stake with this
      business. Although nothing ventured nothing gained.Do send me the
      the following information when you respond back to me.

      Your full name:
      Phone and Fax:
      Country.

      The earliest response to this letter will be evaluated.

      Kind Regards,

      Mr.Patrick W. Chan.



      If any of you all want to scambait this fellow, please do so! Just make sure you share the results.

    • Maddow is funny

      10 years ago

      aak2013

      I felt a little juvenile for enjoying this:

      Maddow on Republican Teabagging
      www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/vp/30145811#30116670

    • People you should know: Señor Wences

      10 years ago

      aak2013

      From Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Señor_Wences

      Señor Wences (April 17, 1896â€"April 20, 1999) was a prominent 20th century ventriloquist whose popularity grew with his frequent appearances on CBS's Ed Sullivan Show. He was born Wenceslao Moreno in Peñaranda de Bracamonte, in the province of Salamanca, Spain. He became a famous ventriloquist worldwide, but his main career was made in the United States.
      -----------

      You will be hard pressed to find a higher-caliber entertainer than this. While ventriloquism may be a near extinct art, Señor Wences' raw talent and undeniable impact on American culture is hard to top. I first saw him on the Muppet Show, at the twilight of his career - though he did live to be 103.

      Treat yourself to a laugh and watch his routines from the 1960s. It's so easy to forget that all of the characters and voices are the product of one mouth. And "S'allright" will never stop being funny to me.



      Ventriloquism while plate-spinning and juggling:
      www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YJLGOBLvfE&feature=related


      A must-see bit with a telephone. This is astonishing talent, and delightfully funny.
      www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4pdJ0dn8mg

    • Frustrations with Verizon

      10 years ago

      aak2013

      I'm glad I'm not this guy... how aggravating.

      www.wimp.com/mathhelp/

  • About Me

  • Comments (204)

    • machen

      10 years ago

      Hey, Merry Xmas, bud.

    • kaci

      10 years ago

      YOU'RE BLOWIN' MY MIND MAN!

    • kaci

      10 years ago

      why does it say you last signed in 2 months ago when you posted a journal on november 20? i'm so confused! can you bend time and space? WHAT IS GOING ON???

    • Twelvestring FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold

      11 years ago

      saw you're interested in rock climbing, here's my latest crazy adventure...

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PSogUfQwas

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      11 years ago

      Your girl McCaskill is being taken to school on Meet the Press.

    • bwjenkins

      11 years ago

      Are you free for a call tonight or are you too busy?

      I'm not really going to call, it just seems like the thing to ask here.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      funny-pictures-yassir-arracat.jpg

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Hello hello - taking a break from designing propaganda campaign material to harass people on the internet?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      I'm okay. Good for a call now, if you have the time ...

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Gonna be free for a call tonight?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      So, got time for a phone call tomorrow night? At a better hour this time, since I'm back in a normal time zone. Arizona is crafty like that, with their lack of daylight savings time.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Think you'll have time for a phone call tomorrow night? Or does your civic duty call?

      Also, DAMN YOU JENGA AND YOUR TRICKERY!

    • Jengaship FIRST Member Star(s) Indication of membership status - One star is a FIRST member, two stars is Double Gold Travancore on DD

      11 years ago

      TEFLON C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER.

      Hey man. How is everything?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Ha - so you'll be so burned out on it that you'll be going out and telling people not to vote because the system doesn't work?

      Or worse, telling people to vote for Ron Paul?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      So, think you'll be free for a phone call tonight? Or will you be too busy being "civic minded" and "a good citizen"?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      INDEED YOU SHOULD. I JUST STARTED THE SHOW AND FIND IT TO BE QUITE ENTERTAINING.


      Post edited 3/01/08 11:08PM

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      AWWW

      I'M TIPSY AND WATCHING DEXTER. HE'S A CHARISMATIC SERIAL KILLER.

      ALSO CAPS LOCK IS FUN.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      HOLA, COMO ESTAS?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      I could, but sadly, I do not own a fur hat. Got one that I can borrow?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Maybe he ate some bad granola a few years ago and it messed with his brain.

      I forgot that he ran in 2004. I probably erased it from my memory because I was so embarrassed for him.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      BECAUSE I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY AND AM GOING OUT TOMORROW NIGHT

      Also, the weather kind of sucks and I don't feel like walking around in the sleet/rain/snow.

      Don't make me amuse myself by calling you.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Hey, how's your brother doing?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Yikes. Well teenagers are tough - they bounce back from stuff pretty quickly. And if they're letting him eat now, it means that he's getting better. Any word on how long he'll be in the hospital?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      I'm sure. How's your brother doing?

      Also, to make you feel better, here's a puppy. Puppies make everything better:
      puppy4.jpg

      Or a teddy bear. Teddy bears do that too:
      my_first_teddy_russ_bear_62653_lg.jpg

      Or best of all, a puppy WITH a teddy bear:
      ShiranianPuppy1205thru0206024.JPG
      Hard to beat that.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Hey, just checking in to see how you and your family are doing (although I'm sure that you're pretty preoccupied right now and not really checking in to the site). Feel free to give me a call if you need to talk or anything.

      Post edited 2/15/08 8:48PM

    • evlmel

      11 years ago

      smiley12.gif Hope you're doing all right! Remember to take time to breathe!

    • Jimmerz

      11 years ago

      I see what you are saying. Guess it can be a fine line between eccentric and dangerously crazy. It's naiveté on my part, but I'm always amazed someone capable of such irresponsibility can be a business owner.

      What do you think is the solution? Obviously we are failing at mental health care, and all health care. But if a person doesn't want help, what can be done?

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      funny-pictures-congress-monkeys.jpg

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      LAW SCHOOL APPLICATIONS ARE ALL SENT IN!!!!

      /collapses

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Yeah, actually, it was. It was the song at the end that did it.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      I hope you're happy - you managed to convince me to stay up late to watch The Colbert Report.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      You were coherent, just sounded really tired.

      And who doesn't love drugs? All the cool kids do them.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Now a good time for a phone call?

    • SloeBombFizz

      11 years ago

      This soundtrack is better.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Well I wouldn't be surprised if Hellga liked the ladies. But I don't know if that really counts as fabulous. And she might actually be a man.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      I could, but I should be getting to bed soon. It's after 4am and all, and I have a big football game to get psyched up for tomorrow.

      "Wooo, Eli Manning is going to try to look like a competent quarterback in below-zero conditions, woooo!"

      I'm still working on it.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Well then I will. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't interrupting something like work.

      Also, apparently you pegged the wrong Gladiator for gay - I've heard that Militia guy was in gay porn.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Well that sucks - I was just asking if it was okay if I call you sometime soon (Monday night maybe), since your computer is dying and all.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Glad to hear it - hope the tempura banana splits came out well.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      birthday.jpg

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      You know, it'd be easier to have a back and forth conversation if you, say, signed on to AIM.

    • aak2013

      11 years ago

      I hear he's a kitten in the locker room.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      And I'm sure Titan shares hair and makeup tips with the female gladiators. And then they share their steroids with him. While they gossip about men and Britney Spears.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      That link is TERRIFYING. I bet things like this don't happen in Canada.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Also, I'm watching the new American Gladiators right now. Two notes:

      1) Hellga isn't nearly as tough or strong as I thought she'd be.
      2) I'm about 98% sure that Titan is gay.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR MEDICAL DEGREE

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Thanks for the well-wishes. Birthday turned out okay after all.

    • Teflon23

      11 years ago

      Hi - I'm pretty good, aside from stress from applying to law school. Glad to hear you made it back okay - happy to be home?

    • Orcus

      11 years ago

      I guessed that, but I wanted to keep the "in the pants" joke going.

    • SloeBombFizz

      11 years ago


      . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!


      . . . . . . . . . froheweihnachtenyg7.gif


  • Questions

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